Might take nephew-how to work out costs?

[Sandy Feet]

My nephew would probably love to go to WDW with us. and I'd love to take him since (A) he's a great kid and (B) theme parks aren't his parents cup of tea. Before I mention this latest idea to DH, who loves his family but sometimes feels outnumbered by kids I thought I'd ask for advice on how you worked out what it would cost for the extra kid. While I'd love to pay for him, it's just not in my budget. I'm beginning to wonder how to afford the airfare for us! Do I divide the cost of accomodation by the amt. of people to get the cost per person, then add airfare, tickets, food allowance? With this many we would also have to rent a mini-van. How do I handle the souvenir/spending $ issue? I'm figuring on $10 per day per kid.
Please don't think I'm chintzy, I'm just trying to be realistic about my financial limitations. And any advice on how to survive travelling with this many would be much appreciated too!

 

[tricia]

I would ask for money for everything I would not have to pay for if I were not bringing him. This would include Airfare, Park Passes, Meals, souvenir money. If you would not have to rent a larger vehicle to accomodate him, or pay any extra for the room I would not think it fair to charge his family for costs that you would have had anyway.

 

[Desnik]

I had to go through making this very same decision. We are taking my sister, she is only 12yo. So, what I have decided to do is ask my parents for money for her for admission, food, and spending money. We are driving so no air fare, if we were flying I'd ask for money for that too. We don't need to change our resort to accomodate all of us, it will be 2 adults, 2 kids and an infant. If I could afford it I would've paid for her. When I talked to my mom about it she just said, "I'm giving you $1000 whether it's too much or not because it is nice of you to take her". That is more than enough and my parents can easily afford it!

 

[beattyfamily]

I feel the opposite way. If I were to invite a family member or even a friend for my DDs I would not expect their parents to pay for everything as I'm the one inviting them.

For this past WDW trip in December, we invited my DHs niece and paid for everything. They are poor and that would have been her only chance to go. Her DM did provide $100 but that is it. We just treated her like we had another DD for the week. It was our choice. We invited her knowing she was poor.

If I were to invite a friend of my DDs, I'd probably work out the finances with the parent beforehand and I would hope that they would pay for the airfare and maybe a little spending money but that would probably be it. I would probably spring for the pass and whatever else since I invited her and she'll be entertaining my DD. If they insisted on paying for everything else like spending money and the pass, I may give in but I would definitely not make them pay for the room, car or food since I invited them.

That's just our opinion. If we couldn't afford to pay a portion of the cost of inviting them, then we wouldn't invite them.

Now if my sister asked me to bring my niece and it was all their idea then that's another story. Then I would expect my sister to pay for at least half of her cost, if not most of it.

I guess my point is if I do the inviting, I should expect to pay for some if not all of it. If someone else asks to come along, then they should definitely pay for at least half if not all of it. BUT I certainly would not make anyone who comes along with us whether invited or not, pay for the car or the hotel as we'd be getting them/paying for them regardless.

JMHO so please don't take it personally.

Have fun planning.

 

[Jordan's MOM]

I'm thinking more along the lines of beatty family. A lot would depend on how your DN's family's finicial situation is. If they can afford the cost, I might ask for air fair or ticket price but not room cost, food or money toward a van rental. Spending money is a fair request unless their money is very tight. Unless you are footing the whole bit, be sure to talk with his parents in private first to see if this is even an option for them. We are taking a friend for DS next trip for the first time and though it will stretch the budget, we will pay for everything except spending money and we make DS earn his own too. What ever works for your family is right, just make sure you and DH agree and then make it very clear to your DN's family.


Jordan's mom

 

[Happy2bme]

I have the distinct pleasure of being the father of 5. When one of the relatives wishes to take one of our children somewhere I ask how much it will cost and what is expected of me and my wife.
Most of the time it is a nominal amount . My two youngest D's go with their aunts on trips all the time. I always ask how much?
The same goes when I take my N's N's of which I have 10.

 

[justhat]

I also agree that you should probably pick up the expenses for the room, food, and rental van yourself and just ask for the airfare and park admission. When I was 15 my mom let me bring a friend and her mom gave her souvenir money, money for her park ticket, and they had an airfare voucher so we just flew on that airline as well. Since we were 15, we often did things on our own, so meals without my family we each paid for whatever we ordered (I'm guessing this came from her spending money but being 15 at the time never thought about it). When we ate with my family, my mom picked up the bill, as she would have if we took the friend out to dinner at home. This May we're bringing lots of friends and family members with us and for some of them we're paying for the whole thing (including admission and airfare) because it's the only way they could come so even though it's money that would be really nice for us to save, since it will be my 6 year old cousin and 2 year old niece's only trip, we're going to go ahead and pay for it. Their families will be bringing money for food and souvenirs, but other than that we'll be paying for the rest. For us, it's hard to invite people and expect them to come if they can't afford it. I guess though it depends on how much your nephew's family can afford to contribute.

 

[tmfranlk]

When I take my sister it is usually a combination of what my parents and I can afford. The first 2 times, I was single and working and paid for the majority of the trip. I think my mom gave me about $200 each time to go towards her souveniers and food. The third time, I paid for airfare, hotel and park tickets. My mom (who went with us that time) paid for all souveniers and food (including most of mine). This time, I am married and a SAHM. My parents are paying for her airfare and park ticket. I am paying for the transportation to the hotel and hotel room. Even though I am guessing that my mom will send some souvenier/food money, I am planning to pay for her food as well.

My best advice is to just figure out what you can afford to spend on the trip and how much you will pay for of your nephew's trip. Then, just talk to the parents with your proposition giving them full details of what they would need to pay for. It has always worked best for us if both parties was up front about what they could and could not afford.

As far as your nephew's spending money, I would let the parents know what you plan to do for your kids. If all the kids can be on equal grounds, it would probably work better for them.

I would definitely talk to the parents no matter what you can afford to cover yourself. I'd hate for your nephew to miss out on the trip just because you couldn't afford to pay for him yourself if they would be willing too.

 

[undertheradar]

I would not offer unless I could afford to pay. If payment were then offered, that would be nice to consider.

 

[Sandy Feet]

Sorry it's taken me so long to get back "on board", thanks for all your wonderful responses!
IF (note the big IF, the airfare right now is crazy, over 2500 for 5 of us) we do go and take Nephew, I will certainly talk to his parents first before putting the idea into his head. We cannot afford to pay for him, if we could then there would be no question at all, we would just issue a real invitation. They could afford to go, but Christmas is a busy time for them work-wise and they really don't like theme parks. His parents would offer to pay for his airfare and park admission and probably even a food allowance and spending money. The best thing to do is to make a list of cost and show it to the parents. This would only be fair to every one. When either family has gone to the movies or whatever, and taken along an extra child, we've often/but not always given a bit to help.
Any suggestions to help with juggling the interests of kids ranging in age from 7 to 15 would also be helpful.

 

[beattyfamily]

Originally posted by Sandy Feet
Sorry it's taken me so long to get back "on board", thanks for all your wonderful responses!
IF (note the big IF, the airfare right now is crazy, over 2500 for 5 of us) we do go and take Nephew, I will certainly talk to his parents first before putting the idea into his head. We cannot afford to pay for him, if we could then there would be no question at all, we would just issue a real invitation. They could afford to go, but Christmas is a busy time for them work-wise and they really don't like theme parks. His parents would offer to pay for his airfare and park admission and probably even a food allowance and spending money. The best thing to do is to make a list of cost and show it to the parents. This would only be fair to every one. When either family has gone to the movies or whatever, and taken along an extra child, we've often/but not always given a bit to help.
Any suggestions to help with juggling the interests of kids ranging in age from 7 to 15 would also be helpful.

That's a good idea to write down the cost and let the parents know in advance and then agree to it and that's great that they can afford to pay for him but don't have time (or interest) to take him and it's very nice of you to offer to take him, but what I was thought (and others too) I would NEVER do and was a bit too much was charging them for room and rental car. That's a bit extreme IMHO as those are things you'd already be getting even if he didn't come with you.

Have a great trip!

 

[Sandy Feet]

Hi beattyfamily,

You are right, it would be extremely offensive to ask them to pay for costs my family will incur even if Nephew doesn't come with us, and I certainly would not do that. Now if I could just win the lottery and be sure we can go! I'm having to research this trip very top secret-style so none of the kids get their hopes up about going. Course it's too late for the big kid masquerading as Mom!!