Oak cabinets ARE outdated (sorry to break it to you). White, black, cherry and of course high quality medium to darker woods are in, but not your standard oak that scream 90s. Just do a google search for kitchen cabinet trends and see what you find. You won't find much oak at all and the oak you will find is a different cut and looks different than what I'm referring to. I'll help with what came up at the top of my google search:
http://www.hgtv.com/remodel/kitchen-remodel/kitchen-cabinet-styles-and-trends-pictures
http://www.bhg.com/kitchen/cabinets/styles/top-10-cabinetry-trends/
http://blog.kitchenmagic.com/blog/b...Color-Style-Combinations#sthash.suxPnzig.dpbs
Replacing cabinets is very expensive but painting them a neutral shade can really brighten up a kitchen. White cabinets are timeless, so I completely disagree with you. Changing out our old bisque appliances to stainless, changing out the counters (we opted to stay with laminate due to the cost and the price range of the house, but it looks like granite), and painting over the 90s looking oak made a dramatic difference. The white cabinets with the stainless steel give the kitchen a clean, open look and paint is much cheaper than replacing cabinets. Our realtor said we've already added $10k to the value of our home and we only spent 4k. Our carpeting was a very high quality when we built the home 17 years ago and it's held up well, but it's a hard sell if we don't upgrade the flooring, so we are replacing the kitchen and bathroom tile that is outdated and chipped, and we're putting in wood laminate in the rest of the downstairs rooms. Our home will sell quicker and we'll make our money back and then some. We are kicking ourselves for not having done some of this sooner so we could enjoy it longer.
The house you were selling sounds much older than our home if your realtor was talking about code issues. In that case, it was probably best to sell w/out the upgrades at a lower price and let the new owners revamp. Most buyers who are looking in the price range of our home want a move-in ready house.