Michael Schiavo's interview on Dateline last night

[kdibattista]

Michael is talking on Larry King Live now for anyone interested.

 

[TnKrBeLlA012]

For the record (it's been a while since we debated the Schivo case), I felt that in the absence of written documented proof of Terri's wishes, and since her parents were willing to care for her, I think they should have prevailed - in other words, we should always err on the side of life.

But doing everything you can to keep someone alive when that person has explicitly stated in writing that they don't want that is, IMO, not love, but pure selfishness. I sincerely hope your mom has appointed a health care surrogate that will respect her wishes even if they conflict with their own.

Did your read the sentence in my post that said," If it's in writing I would have to respect that." Did you also see the word "joke." These two clues should give you an idea of what I would do. Again, totally different if the person has it in writing. Terri did not. My father did not.

 

[Pugdog007]

Terri Schiavo's best interest was lost by both sides in the end. It became a battle and this poor woman was used as a pawn to advance both her husbands and her parent's agendas. She became a crusade. Both sides, IMO, have much to account for. There were no heros.

Have to agree with this statement. I don't think Michael had anything to do with the condition Terri was in (as her parents would have you believe) nor do I believe she relayed any kind of DNR or living will to Michael in her early 20's. I don't think we're getting the truth from either side. And I won't be buying either book.

 

[bsnyder]

Did your read the sentence in my post that said," If it's in writing I would have to respect that." Did you also see the word "joke." These two clues should give you an idea of what I would do. Again, totally different if the person has it in writing. Terri did not. My father did not.

Forgive me if I'm confused - you are saying some contradictory things....

I just know how much I love my parents and my girls. If something horrible happened to them I just don't know what I would do.

My mother passed away in May, so my father recently had to change all of his legal documents and appoint me as his health care surrogate. As hard as it might be for me, I have no doubt that I will carry out his wishes if it ever comes to that, exactly as he wants them. And I would do it out of love for him.

 

[JoiseyMom]

My sympathy was for the parents. NO one loves a child more than a mother and father. The husband should have let the parents take control over their daughter. I don't believe for one minute that they had a long talk about dying and not being kept alive on machines. They were young and I just don't believe what he said. When my father was in a coma we had to make some big desicions. We chose to do anything we could to keep my father alive. Even when we new he was dying. We loved him so much we could not even think of him dying. Maybe it was selfish of us but our love of him over powered us. So to ever place any blame with the parents of Terri is wrong. They truly loved their daughter. The husband????? He ruled with his head. They ruled with their hearts. I will say this. I have three daughters. They are my life. I will fight for them until the day I leave this earth. That's what mothers do!

I have four children, and I love them more then life itself. If g-d forbid they are ever in the same position as Terri, I would let them die with dignity. I would not let them live for 15 years the way that poor women lived. That isn't life, and it was fair to no one. My dh and I both have living wills, and have discussed what we want. His parents have them too. People deserve to die with dignity. We put out beloved pets down in a humane way, why should our loved ones be any different.

 

[yeartolate]

And I do know that we, as a society, are long overdue on the entire debate. Medical technology has increased by leaps and bounds. Our ability to have frank and reasonable discussions about the consequences of those advances has not.

That much is certain.

What is clear to me, though, is that on the Schindler side there was an endless supply of medical mis-information. We cannot have these discussions until we can reach a common ground that should be deeply rooted in fact.

I have absolutely no problem with a person's faith guiding their actions and decisons as voters, but we have to be able to call a fact a fact and a lie a lie. Faith and medicine can co-exist - but not until we achieve a common ground that is fact based.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

I have four children, and I love them more then life itself. If g-d forbid they are ever in the same position as Terri, I would let them die with dignity. I would not let them live for 15 years the way that poor women lived. That isn't life, and it was fair to no one. My dh and I both have living wills, and have discussed what we want. His parents have them too. People deserve to die with dignity. We put out beloved pets down in a humane way, why should our loved ones be any different.

Does dying with dignity include letting them dehydrate until they die? I think removing a breathingtube and letting nature take it's course is letting them die with dignity. Removing their source of food and water and just letting them waste away is cruel.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

I have four children, and I love them more then life itself. If g-d forbid they are ever in the same position as Terri, I would let them die with dignity. I would not let them live for 15 years the way that poor women lived. That isn't life, and it was fair to no one. My dh and I both have living wills, and have discussed what we want. His parents have them too. People deserve to die with dignity. We put out beloved pets down in a humane way, why should our loved ones be any different.

I am sorry, but you don't really know what you would do until you have to live it, and God forbid, you ever do. You may do exactly what the Shindler's did, if your child did what Terri did on those video's.

You may say now, while your children are healthy, you would not do the same thing, but it you are faced with losing your child, even it if is just the shell of your child, I think you would grasp at anything. DO anything, move mountains to save her, if you truly believed she was still there. Like the Shindlers did.

 

[Marseeya]

We can agree to disagree. I will say this with 100% certainty: I will never be with another man if my husband is sick, in a vegetative state, brain dead, you name it. My marriage vows said, "til death do us part" and I take my marriage vows VERY seriously.

If others say that they would, well, hope you are happy in your infidelity. And yes, God will be his judge. I don't see why having an opinion on this whole situation makes someone a bad person. Everyone posting in this thread is judging one sideor another.

My husband and I have had this discussion quite a few times. We've both agreed that we hope the other will move on if one of us in in that kind of state, but if we need to remain married for legalities or insurance sake, then we're fine with that. I have kids to think about and I'd love to think that he'd bring a caring woman into their lives if I can't be there for them. I can't bear the thought of him mourning over me and not moving on with his life, and it would break my heart to think that people would judge him for that.

That doesn't mean I take my vows any less seriously. I know if it came down to it, my husband will be by my side to the end, but I don't want him to have to walk that path alone. And he feels the same about me.

As far as infidelity goes -- we believe it's only infidelity if WE aren't in agreement as to the other's actions. We don't let anybody outside our relationship tell us how to view fidelity -- not the church, not the government, not anybody.

 

[JoiseyMom]

Does dying with dignity include letting them dehydrate until they die? I think removing a breathingtube and letting nature take it's course is letting them die with dignity. Removing their source of food and water and just letting them waste away is cruel.

I agree it is cruel, but our country/people/government won't allow people to be put out their misery anyother way. They won't allow drugs or someother humane way for them to pass on.

 

[Lanshark]

We should be debating "how" we allow people to die. Convicted criminals are kill more mercifully, meaning quickly and relatively painlessly, than this woman was. If we, as a country, are going to "allow" people to die then we, as a country, should have the spheres to do it in a humane way. A quick shot of whatever would have been more merciful than allowing her to linger on as she dehydrated. How come neither side is bringing up that issue?

 

[Disney Doll]

In the end, both Michael and Terri's parents will be judged by God.

He'll know what to do.

 

[Planogirl]

The only conclusion I can draw is that no one really knows the truth. Maybe not even Michael and the Schindlers. I'm glad that Terri was finally allowed to die in peace though.

 

[JoiseyMom]

I am sorry, but you don't really know what you would do until you have to live it, and God forbid, you ever do. You may do exactly what the Shindler's did, if your child did what Terri did on those video's.

You may say now, while your children are healthy, you would not do the same thing, but it you are faced with losing your child, even it if is just the shell of your child, I think you would grasp at anything. DO anything, move mountains to save her, if you truly believed she was still there. Like the Shindlers did.

I know, no matter what, Iwould NEVER EVER EVER let my loved ones live for 15 years as Terri did. And my family and love ones agree with me, we have discussed it. Terri was a shell, what made her Terri was gone the second the stroke hit. It is horrible but true. I feel for her parents for their loss, but there is a time when you have to let go.

 

[TnKrBeLlA012]

I am sorry, but you don't really know what you would do until you have to live it, and God forbid, you ever do. You may do exactly what the Shindler's did, if your child did what Terri did on those video's.

You may say now, while your children are healthy, you would not do the same thing, but it you are faced with losing your child, even it if is just the shell of your child, I think you would grasp at anything. DO anything, move mountains to save her, if you truly believed she was still there. Like the Shindlers did.

You are 100% correct. Know one can judge or say what they would do or what is the correct choice unless you are in the situation. My heart goes out to the Shindler's. They did what they did out of love for their daughter.

 

[Feralpeg]

We should be debating "how" we allow people to die. Convicted criminals are kill more mercifully, meaning quickly and relatively painlessly, than this woman was. If we, as a country, are going to "allow" people to die then we, as a country, should have the spheres to do it in a humane way. A quick shot of whatever would have been more merciful than allowing her to linger on as she dehydrated. How come neither side is bringing up that issue?

That is another topic, of which I wholeheartedly agree. Instead of putting Dr. Kavorkian in prison, he should have been given kudos for his compassion. This is not meant to start another debate.

 

[Disney-Kim]

The OP was saying that she felt for Michael Shiavo and that the interview was good. Why can't this post be about those who agree with her instead all those who don't and therefor a giant argument???

for the record I feel that Michael Shiavo did the right thing by his wife. I believe a husband knows his wife more intimately and therefor better than parents. at least that is true for me. So many put themselves in Michael's position and judge but really put yourself in Terri's position and think if you would want to live like that. I wouldn't.

 

[VSL]

Whoa - she was alive for 15yrs?!

I think the UK only had the tail-end of this story when it became political last year (or the year before?) - I didn't realise that the lady had been alive in that state for so long.

 

[Deb in IA]

Yes, VSL. 15 years.


The video in question, that was shown by the Schindlers' as evidence that Terri was responsive, is UNconvincing. We, as humans, are programmed to "read" facial movements as "expressions" -- this was a crucial survival skill, and enabled us to quickly determine if someone was happy, sad, angry, or threatening. So, we "read" into that video that Terri was 'looking at' people/things, and was 'smiling', which was probably nothing more than involuntary twitches.


As for what we would do for our parents, our children. I think that there is no greater love than to HONOR the wishes of our loved ones, when they are made when they are still fully capable of expressing their desires . . . especially when they run counter to our own.

And in the absence of any written documentation, we must trust the statements made in the marriage relationship. For those of us who do believe that Terri made those statements, remember that they were made way BEFORE any malpractice settlement, and certainly before any infidelity . . .

 

[CathrynRose]

When my father was in a coma we had to make some big desicions. We chose to do anything we could to keep my father alive. Even when we new he was dying. We loved him so much we could not even think of him dying. Maybe it was selfish of us but our love of him over powered us.

I will say this. I have three daughters. They are my life. I will fight for them until the day I leave this earth. That's what mothers do!

I disagree - my Mom just passed away 2 months ago (today). After telling me many times (while watching Terri's case, and previously) that if she ever ended up like *that* she wanted me to "take her out in a field and shoot her" (her words, not mine) I chose for her, a DNR after the 3rd round of CPR.

There was nothing more I wanted then my Mom to be okay - but she wasnt okay. She wasnt going to BE okay - I gave her the greatest gift I could ever give her, and let her go *home* - To me, keeping someone hanging on for 15!!!! years, for your own selfish reasons, is just that - selfish.

And I also disagree that because they were young, they may have never talked about that. I talk about it - have for years, as did my mom - and watching the Terri case on TV, even my kids (14 & 10) see how asinine it is to have someone there, who is NOT really there.

I would not leave my kids, even though I am a mother, just like you - hooked up to machines for that long, ever. No way, no how. I feel your energy should be focused on THEM, what they need/want/deserve not how youre going to feel with that loss. And keeping 'em all hooked up is all about -you-.

And since it is the 2 month anniversary -