Men vs. Ladies...WHat time do you finally sit down at night??

[Suzy Mouse]

THe kids were put to bed at 8:00 last night. Afterward my hubby went into the family room and sat down on the couch.
I went into the kitchen...finished cleaning up dinner....made 4 lunches... picked out clothes for tomorrow...ironed 4 outfits...(yes even the kids I have wrinkle issues)...had to prepare a dish for a breakfast at work...straightened up the kitchen.... straightened up the kids toys...(whatever they forgot)....got the kids bags ready for the morning...got my stuff ready to get out the door in the morning....got into jammys...makeup off....teeth brushed....and hopped onto the couch FINALLY at 9:20.

This seems to be typical. Not necessarily the time or the things that were done...but the fact that he is able to sit down after the kids are put to bed while I run around and take care of things.

I'm just curious to know what time do you finally sit down for the evening. Are the men's times significantly lower???

 

[aprincessmom]

About 9:45-10 p.m. I have finally completed the chores and am ready to just hang out.

 

[Snow White]

Depending on what activities the kids have in the evenings and if I am toting them around, it is usually around 9:30 before I try to wind up the evenings activities, but I'm still usually doing laundry until I go to bed. My DH works nights, so I can't really compare times on that.

 

[Steve H.]

Not counting school nights for me (when I don't get home until at the earliest, 10:15pm)...

From about 7pm up to bedtime for DS, I'm pretty much the one on the go. Around 8 or so, I give DS his bath, then I get him dressed for bed, read a few books or do some puzzles, get his teeth brushed, then a big hug and kiss for DW and off to bed for prayers, etc.

He's usually in bed by around 9:15 or so, and then I relax for a little bit, before starting homework and/or other stuff around the house.

 

[Cindy B]

'rest/Sit down.. you've got to be kidding...


Seriously, I do a lot of preplanning so I can enjoy the evening. I am up early 430-5 am, so by 8-9 pm, I am ready to sleep.


I make the kids lunches the MINUTE THEY GET HOME FROM SCHOOL. The sandwich gets made the morning. Lunch boxes are lined up ready to go.


CLothes are laid out, (most of the times). Vacuuming/straightening is done IMMEDIATELY after dinner.

 

[browneyes]

LOL! I'd better not say anything or I might start doing some MAJOR venting about my SO.

 

[justjulie]

Funny you should ask. I have contemplated this exact question many times! I am ALWAYS the last one to sit down - by the time that actually happens it's almost always time for bed ... I must be doing something wrong!

 

[phamton]

I got this in my email a couple of year ago:

Why I love my Mom...

Mom and Dad were watching TV when Mom said, "I'm tired, and it's getting late. I think I'll go to bed." She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's lunches, rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the freezer for supper the following evening, checked the cereal box levels, put spoons and bowls on the table started the coffee pot for brewing the next morning.

She then put some wet clothes in the dryer, put a load of clothes into the wash, ironed a shirt and secured a loose button. She picked up the game pieces left on the table and put the telephone book back into the drawer. She watered the plants, emptied a wastebasket and hung up a towel to dry. She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom.

She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher, counted out some cash for the field trip, and pulled a textbook out from hiding under the chair. She signed a birthday card for a friend, addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery store.* She put both near her purse. Mom then washed her face, put on moisturizer, brushed and flossed her teeth and trimmed her nails. Dad called out, "I thought you were going to bed."

"I'm on my way," she said. She put some water into the dog's dish and called the cat in, then made sure the doors were locked. She looked in on each of the kids and turned out a bedside lamp, hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks in the hamper, and had a brief conversation with the one still up doing homework.

In her own room, she set the alarm, laid out clothing for the next day, straightened up the shoe rack. She added three things to her list of things to do for tomorrow.


About that time, Dad turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular, "I'm going to bed." And he did...without another thought. Anything extraordinary here?......Wonder why women live longer...?

BECAUSE WE ARE STRONGER....... MADE FOR THE LONG HAUL......

 

[Steve H.]

phanton -- No offense, but I think that's a pretty old-fashioned way of viewing Mothers and Fathers.

 

[phamton]

Originally posted by Steve H.
phantom -- No offense, but I think that's a pretty old-fashioned way of viewing Mothers and Fathers.

I took it as a joke. If the truth be known, my father did most of the cooking in my home and I was a child in the 50s in a two parent family.

Bev

Edited to add: My registered name is phamton. I know it looks like phantom spelled wrong but really isn't. 10 years ago when we got internet, we chose as our username and email: phamton. It was my husband's name Pat with our last name Hamilton. So P(at) HAM(IL)TON I've posted as that for so many years on newsgroups and bulletin boards, that I've kept the name. Corny, I know but any search on "phamton" brings up my postings. It keeps me honest.

 

[December99]

Usually around 10pm when I go to bed - I watch the news or as much of it as I can handle. We do sit down together usually at dinnertime and I watch the news then too but very rarely do I get to sit down and watch a program at night. I don't do laundry at night - it waits until the weekend by choice - it's generally my other "extracurricular" activities that hogs my time.

 

[addicted_to_WDW]

I'm usually finished between 8:30 and 9:00. We have every day life down to a science at our house. We usually get home between 6:00 and 6:30. DH makes dinner and I supervise homework and projects. We eat dinner by about 7:00 usually. I do the dishes and run the vacuum (daily, I have cats) and Pete spends quality time with DS. They usually play chess or another game. By this time it's 8:00 and DS takes his bath. I may do a load of laundry if necessary, then I scoop the cat boxes. At 8:30 DS is ready for bed and I'm ready to relax!

The bulk of our cleaning is done on the weekends. I don't need to live in a sterile environment.

 

[Steve H.]

Sorry Bev, I guess I took that the wrong way (that, or I'm in a sensitive mood today! )

Sorry about the username oops too -- I corrected myself.

 

[FOJMO]

You need to ASK if you want "help" -- I hate to use the word "help" because that insinuates that it's the WOMAN's job to begin with and you shouldn't really be asking for "help" for something that should be shared.

But someone usually has to take the reins, and if that's the woman, then she needs to express herself instead of just doing it all.

If you are a couple who BOTH work outside of the home, then you need to sit down and decide who does what. No one should get to sit and watch TV if there's things that need to be done. But if you think that the one sitting and watching is going to volunteer, you're kidding yourself!

My husband and I have a deal that I choose the meal and cook it and he cleans up. If I try and help him clean up, he says go sit down. Usually, that doesn't happen because there's other things to do.

Where are the kids when you're preparing lunches, etc. Are they too young to prepare their own? Get them involved!

And you have to SPEAK UP! No one knows how frustrated you can get it you don't let it be known -- they are not mind readers...

 

[phamton]

Originally posted by Steve H.
Sorry Bev, I guess I took that the wrong way (that, or I'm in a sensitive mood today! )

Sorry about the username oops too -- I corrected myself.

No need to apologize. I completely understand. My husband gets so tired of the numerous sitcoms on tv showing the men as blundering idiots and the wives as doing all the work and having the brains in the family. It seems that jokes about men are ok and I do find myself falling into that trap also.

As far as the username: I added that because I've been asked numerous times why I spell phantom wrong so I thought I'd kill two birds with one post.

Bev

 

[manchurianbrownbear]

THANK YOU FOJMO!!!
My DW and I very rarely argue, but when we do, it's always because she doesn't think she should have to ask for help. I always say I've never refused to do something I'm asked to do!
We divide chores, with DW taking the vast majority since she is a stay-at-home-Mom, and she rarely complains that I don't do enough, just that she doesn't like to ask me to something that isn't on my unofficial list of household responsibilities.

 

[jipsy]

I agree with FOJMO. If you think it's unfair for your husband to retire to the couch to watch TV while you do all that stuff, then tell him to get his butt off the couch and help. He was home the same night you were when you got pregnant, they are his kids too. And yes, the kids can help make their lunch. Mine always helped make his lunch, he was more apt to eat it when he helped prepare it.

To answer your question - I sit down whenever I want to.

I get up at 5 AM and cook my SO's breakfast. I also fix his lunch. Does he require me to do that? No. I do it because I want to. Many mornings he tells me to stay in bed and get some extra sleep and he makes his own breakfast and fixes his own lunch.

I usually get home before he does and since I love to cook anyway, I usually fix dinner. I try to time it so that it's ready when he gets in, which can be anywhere between 4:30 and 8 pm. But he is courteous and usually calls me to let me know approximately what time to expect him in. Many times he tells me not to fix dinner, that he will pick something up on the way.

We always sit down to dinner together, no matter what time it is, and enjoy each other's company. He helps with the dishes, he helps with the laundry, he helps with the dogs. I usually take a hot bath at night before bed while he practices his guitar or reads or emails his children, who live in another state.

If he gets home early, after dinner, we sometimes relax together on the couch and watch a movie. We take turns on who gets to put their head in the other one's lap. Sometimes I cross stitch or crochet.

My motto has always been, if you see something that you think needs to be done, then you be the one to do it. Many times, what is important to me is not important to him. It would be unfair of me to expect him to read my mind and know that I need help. If I need him to do something I just ask.

I have had bronchitis/sinus infection/laryngitis now for over three weeks. I had a relapse this weekend. Yesterday I felt pretty bad. I stayed at home all day and I called him at 4:30 and asked him to bring me some chicken soup on his way home. When he walked in the door, he fussed at me for not calling him earlier and asking him to come home. I didn't see the need to pull him out of work.

I am very lucky to have this man in my life. I wait on him hand and foot and I treat him like a king. In return, he treats me like a queen.