Men and Compliments

[orangeblossom]

Grrr...Okay so I originally was going to start this thread to complain about men who don't compliment women. I had asked my S.O. how I looked (knowing I happen to look nice right now but wanting to hear it from him.) I got "you look all right." However, in the midst of my typing the complaint he came in, kissed me, and told me I look beautiful. Why couldn't he just have said that in the first place?

 

[Blueeyes101817]

because guys are difficult!

 

[Shugardrawers]

DH is pretty good about it. I have to ask most of the time but he always says I look beautiful. And I know he means it. Even when I'm in dirty sweats and have a bad case of bed head. Just yesterday I told him I was impressed when we first started dating and he wasn't embarassed to be seen with me in public (I weighed over 300# at the time). His response? "You didn't smell, you didn't scratch your crotch or fart in public so why would I be embarassed?". I think that is as close to a compliment as he's ever given without prompting! Well, that and "I just love your big ole butt!". He quickly learned that big and butt should not be used in the same sentance in regards to his wife.

 

[Pin Wizard]

Well, that and "I just love your big ole butt!". He quickly learned that big and butt should not be used in the same sentance in regards to his wife.

LOLOL! Why do we always have to teach them these things? You would think they would just know.

I've yet to find one that gives a compliment. The closest I've come recently was one saying...those eyes! I thought...Oh! You like them?

 

[grinningghost]

That's the one thing I'll never complain about with my DH. He loads me up with compliments all the time, even when I look like I do right now - pretty scraggly.

 

[Mermaid02]

My husband is very good at complimenting me. I have friends who aren't so lucky. Last weekend dh was at his friends helping with a project when my friend (his buddy's wife) came home. My husband IMMEDIATELY said, "Your hair looks nice." while her husband said NOTHING. And even WORSE my dh said even after it was brought to his attention- he still wouldn't tell her that her hair (new cut and color) looked nice.

 

[scarlett873]

my ex was that way...never complimented of his own free will. i had to pull it out of him and even then, i got "you look ok/nice"...drove me insane!!

there's a reason he's an ex...

but my sweet hubby now...i just can't complain about him! he showers me with compliments!! i don't have to ask...nothing. he'll just walk by and do a double take and tell me i look "hot" or whatever word he chooses at that moment...lol...i'm quite the lucky girl!

 

[EsmeraldaX]

I'm weird. My SO never compliments my appearance, and I've never even given it any thought or been bothered by it. I don't really compliment him either. I know I look okay and he knows he looks okay and very rarely do either of us ever discuss our looks with each other.

I'm not trying to be rude, but why did you feel like you have to try and get him to compliment you? Generally speaking, at least knowing the guys I know, guys get annoyed when women try to fish for compliments (ie. How do I look? Do I look like I've lost weight? etc.) They all know they're supposed to answer with a compliment.

I don't think men really notice things like appearance on people they see every day. They don't NOT say anything to be mean, they just don't see what the big deal is. Maybe one of the guys here can back me up, since I'm not a guy, I guess I'm just taking a guess.

If it really bothers you (again, I'm just guessing since you went online to complain about it, I'm presuming you were bothered by this) , I'd have a talk with him about it and see how he feels about the subject. I wouldn't be angry at him for it though. Chances are, he's just oblivious to it because MOST men just don't take appearance/clothes/hairstyles as seriously as women do.

ETA : I REALLY do not mean this post to sound mean. I just know a woman IRL who freaks out if her DH doesn't compliment her and gets really upset by it and I worry about her.

 

[orangeblossom]

I did have a talk with him about it. He told me he never heard his father compliment his mothe as he was growing up so it's just not something he thinks to do and besides, I should know I look beautiful on my own.

 

[chadfromdallas]

because guys are difficult!

Guys are?!?!?! GUYS~~~!???~?!



edit: needed more ?~?~!!!?!