Melissa's Recommitment(comments welcome)

[Zoesmama03]

Been doing a little better with eating until today but I need to start journaling.

Today my mom and I were out looking at apartments so we went to Golden Corral for lunch 1:30 or so but it was so late we will probably just have a snack later because its 5:40pm now and I'm no where near hungry again.

I'll be working on cleaning house some but I think I'm gonna go to the pool in a short while will get a little exercise in that way. And maybe I can start walking at the high school track. The apartments we looked at all had fitness rooms but the one I liked best had one and I think we may end up there in the long run. I'll just come up with a pet deposit and get a cat and hope its a good scorpion catcher because they eat them and are not phased by them at all.


Breakfast:
bowl of chocolate Lucky Charms
Sprite

shared a can of Coke with dd while out looking at apartments

Lunch: Golden Corral
I had too much.

Probably will not have a dinner.

 

[Zoesmama03]

Some eye openers yesterday and today.


Lets start with the picture I took of myself in the mirror with my bathing suit on. YIKES!!!

Then tonight I journal all my food into the trackers on sparkpeople and my calories for the day was over 2900.


I want to lose weight. I know what to do but why do I drag my feet. I guess this is a step in the right direction. Journal then I can work on lowering the calories. It really keeps your eyes open to how quickly the calories add up.

I want to be able to ride all the rides in Oct without being embarassed that I can't fit into the seats. I'd love to lose 50-60 lbs by then so I need to get started on this right away.

 

[goldcupmom]

First of all, MANY MANY HUGS, Melissa!

You're going thru so much, & none of it easy!!!

Hang in there. You have a goal, WDW!!!! You CAN do this!! Keep journalling, LOTS of water (you need it in AZ anyway!).

I'm leaving soon on vacation, but I'll be back, and I bet you've lost a good number in the next month!

Have a great week! Take care of you & that BEAUTIFUL little girl!

 

[Zoesmama03]

Well I haven't kept up this journal in a month but I've been doing pretty bad. I don't feel my eating is worse but I know my snacking got out of hand and I've worked on it. Even been getting in lots of swimming but nothing.

Just when I thought I was doing good started journaling my food on sparkpeople and everything I dunno what happens. I can't make it to computer often to input my food. Now that isn't gonna get any better because I'm starting classes Monday for medical assistant certification and I'll have those classes 4 nights a week on top of 40 hours of work.

I will have to find a way to get organized enough to fit in exercise atleast ONE of those 4 days and on Friday - Sunday when I won't have quite as hectic days.


My weight has crept up to 292 as of this morning. I dunno how its happening. I can only guess something isn't right. I've been passing up soda for water A LOT but doesn't appear to be enough so back to cutting it out completely which is very hard living here. I may just have to start getting used to the Diet Coke/Pepsi my mom drinks. Will be better than getting calories but I hate the taste maybe it will deter me from soda altogether but even now sitting her I'm thinking about the nice cold Sprite I have in the fridge. So far I have had ONE today and goal is to not have anymore today as those calories really add up FAST!! I'm on glass #1 of water atleast.

I had a Everything bagel with chives and onion cream cheese for breakfast. For lunch I had left over spaghetti(without meat) and one leftover slice of Pizza Hut meat lovers pizza. I had a peach in between those two meals. For dinner I'm making pot roast with carrots, red potatoes and onions. I'll also fix up a salad. It won't be too bad especially since I rarely eat much meat so I usually only have a 3 maybe 4 ounces of meat tops.

I KNOW I can do this.

 

[Zoesmama03]

Working on getting on track and this time STAYING on track. I'm just about to head off to straighten my bedroom so I can bring the "extra" tv into there and hook up a dvd player just for me to do workouts with. It will be nice to have my space for working out.


I journaled my food so far today on sparkpeople. Its not the healthiest stuff but I am doing good for the day. I had a soda but it was diet because right now all we have is Diet Coke or Dr. Pepper and Dr. Pepper makes me "sick" to my tummy. I just can't drink it. I have to go get the water bottles filled so I have my fresh cold water for water cooler.

I gotta make this work I'm tired of having nothing to wear and feeling bigger everyday.

I've been walking some days on break at school. Some days though we leave early and don't take the long break which is when I walk usually. I still need to add some dvd workouts to that because I NEED to get this weight coming off for good. I'd also like to get back off my bp meds that I had to start up again because my bp had raised up. I along with my dr. think its from the weight going back up. I'd just really love to get a bunch of weight off by March because I'll be doing externship at a Dr. office and I've heard rumors of all the FREE food that will be around. It will be hard to say no to it.

 

[Zoesmama03]

I walked fore 30 minutes on my break at school.

I cleaned and straightened my room and moved a tv in there but I can't hook up the dvd player. UGH!! It doesn't have the video plug ins. I might be able to hook it through a cable with my moms old VHS player like I had before but there is no cable ran to the room so I dunno if it will work. SOOO I just gotta bare it and exercise in living room.

 

[Zoesmama03]

I did 60 minutes of swimming yesterday. Today I'll do another 60 minutes of swimming but also gonna fit in atleast 15 minutes of Walk Away the Pounds dvd maybe longer if I can keep going.


I can't keep going on like this. I'm tired of the extra weight. Before even up to 250 I always felt healthy and still have a healthy body image for the most part, sure I didn't like be overweight and I wanted to lose but just felt "okay" with it all. Now I just can't stand it. I have nothing to wear and I refuse to buy more clothes because I don't wanna have to be in them long anyway since I WANT and NEED to lose the weight.

Maybe this will be my last straw(again) and I'll use this time to get on a smooth track to lead me down.

I guess I'm just down about the weight today.

 

[Zoesmama03]

Feeling a tad depressed this evening. I just feel like my life is in shambles. Well maybe because it is. I'm in process of divorce, I haven't gotten it started but how can I, I can't afford a lawyer nor the filing fees. Blah!!! I have no real job and no money to pay my car payment that was due 2 days ago.

I will be 28 in 2 months and I live with my mother.

I know things happen for a reason but they sure aren't showing themself all to clear right now.

The one good thing is my education and that is what keeps me looking forward to the coming months.


I have church in the morning and then Zoe and I are meeting some friends at the pool to have a nice day. After I will take Zoe to the mall to play. Its just been FUN playing with her on the weekends. Really COOL!!!!

Next week its off to find a job. I HAVE to find something soon or I'm gonna go insane. LOL Not really but I need something more than the low paying home job I'm doing right now.

Oh well I'm off to bed to get some rest for tomorrow, which will be a new day and I can do it.

 

[Zoesmama03]

I have to say yesterday(its after midnight) was sooooo much more positive for me. Despite the 3 Mountain Dews I had I feel good about how my Sunday went. I started with church where wow, I really felt like God was speaking right to me with some of the things.

The pastor talked about eating at 10, 2 and 4. Some story about how someone discovered that those are the times our metabolism drops and its good to eat a snack at these times to help "boost" our metabolism. Then he tied it into how it should be 9, 12 and 3 for "prayer" time. I think this sounds like some really great "advise" that I will be striving for(both).

I then spent the rest of the day and evening with Zoe and my family. Started with lunch as a family then I was off to meet some friends of ours at the "pool"(really more like a little waterpark, with slides, lazy river etc.) and we had a great afternoon there. Came home had dinner as a family. I have to say I've been working on spending a lot more time with Zoe. I take her more places than I have for some time and we enjoy watching tv together and cuddling. We are just trying to get a wide range of stuff we do together.

I have quite the "hope" for next week. I am going to do all I can to make it a good one in the weight loss area.