Meeting Guys?

[rt2dz]

This made me LOL...what a concept. I love ingenuity! Did she follow through with the $150 payout?

He did. Believe it or not, a lot of people complained because they never got a chance. The point was to jumpstart her dating life, possibly meet "the one", and that is exactly what happened.

 

[Maleficent13]

What is wrong with being picky?

There is nothing wrong with being picky once you actually meet a guy...but being too picky in your qualifications for places to meet one severely limits ever meeting one to be picky about.

 

[zalansky]

There is nothing wrong with being picky once you actually meet a guy...but being too picky in your qualifications for places to meet one severely limits ever meeting one to be picky about.

Exactly, and if you read my post it says my friend is super picky, not just plain old picky. And again, this is why she is very single at age 35. I have heard her decline dates with men because they didn't wear the right smelling cologne, their hair was not dark or thick enough, they were too young or old, not tall enough, or in good enough shape....when she is 40 pounds overweight herself. She is setting herself up for a long, lonely life if you ask me. This is someone who alleges she wants to get married and have kids!!!

 

[vivilasvegas]

Exactly, and if you read my post it says my friend is super picky, not just plain old picky. And again, this is why she is very single at age 35. I have heard her decline dates with men because they didn't wear the right smelling cologne, their hair was not dark or thick enough, they were too young or old, not tall enough, or in good enough shape....when she is 40 pounds overweight herself. She is setting herself up for a long, lonely life if you ask me. This is someone who alleges she wants to get married and have kids!!!

Umm, could you stop saying single and 35 like it's a death sentence!!!
I'm 32 and in a long-term relationship, but if it ever doesn't work anymore, I'll be one of those single ladies in her thirties!!

By the way, I also met my boyfriend at party. I was actually going because I liked someone else, but when my boyfriend walked in... ...I was done for.!

 

[azgal81]

I met my boyfriend at work!

You never know when you'll meet the guy it will probably just happen but you have to get out and do things to make it happen. He's not going to drop through your roof onto your lap!

 

[zalansky]

Umm, could you stop saying single and 35 like it's a death sentence!!!
I'm 32 and in a long-term relationship, but if it ever doesn't work anymore, I'll be one of those single ladies in her thirties!!

By the way, I also met my boyfriend at party. I was actually going because I liked someone else, but when my boyfriend walked in... ...I was done for.!

Hey, its not a death sentence, but if you want to have kids, there IS such a thing as a biological clock! That's the reality of it all.
Nothing wrong with being single but in my friends case she says she wants marriage and kids and like I already said the kids part of it does have a time limit. (before anyone reminds me, yes, I realize many people have kids in their forties but the reality is that fertility declines and risk increases the older a woman gets!) I had my last baby at 37 and that was no party!

 

[sweet angel]

I don't get it. I took it that the OP doesn't want to frequent bars/clubs/churches. If one isn't comfortable in those atmospheres, why would one be comfortable meeting someone there?

I agree that it will happen when it's least expected.

 

[FreshTressa]

Go skiing. I have had more guys try to pick up on me on the ski slopes. I'm not available - but that is where I would go if I were single and looking.

Okay...I'm not single, nor am I particularly attractive, and I meet men that ask me out all the time.

I'm with nwdisgal (maybe it is just nwmen, lol) but go do things guys do that you like to. Now, I don't do these things to meet men, but I see lots of sweet attractive single men when I'm out doing these things!!

I go road biking and belong to the local road biking club.....lots of hot guys there. I also belong to a hiking club and there are lots of nice guys there. I have met men online playing online video games. My girlfriends and I go camping and there is always some group of men that comes over and asks to "borrow a lighter" or something else hoping we are single.

All the places I see single men...

Video Store
Home Depot
Kayaking lessons
Public Speaking lessons
At the gym
A local board game club

I could go on and on!!!! Find what you like to do and DO IT.

Just go do the things you find fun, and meet lots of people. Even if the people you meet aren't the ones you want to date, they might invite you to parties that have the right people you do want to meet. They have brothers and friends that might be eligable.

And don't go "looking" for men...I think they sense that. I think the reason that I get approached (despite my weight/looks) is because I look like I'm having a good time and am not there to meet men, if that makes any sense at all.

Enjoy yourself, have a good time, be social, and the right guy will approach YOU!

 

[FreshTressa]

Oh yah...and the off leash park and doing volunteer gardening/grounds clean up at a local park.

 

[WatchinCaptKangaroo]

Thanks for the replies and ideas.

I work full time, I go to school full time but I'm in a program and everyone is married or involved,

I don't date co-workers because it can get messy if it doesn't work out (left a job because a relationship went south). I don't go to church and my experience with guys in bars and clubs is they are looking for hook-ups and FWBs.

The *right type* of guy is a guy who is single (very important ), not looking for ms. right now, fun to be around and open to the idea of something going somewhere (not to say it will but he won't run if it does). I'm looking for someone to go places with and hang out with (and of course kill bugs).

I don't go out with the intent of looking for a guy, I'm just at a loss of where to go where single guys are.

Thanks again for all the ideas. I think I'll look into some clubs.

 

[dolphinrescuegirl]

I joined a volunteer group working with dolphins to do something I loved and to meet some new friends. I had just moved to the area and didn't know a soul. Now I have several friends and my fiancee. Could not ask for anything better. Just make sure whatever you do that you enjoy it and have fun!

 

[WatchinCaptKangaroo]

There are two guys who I am interested in. I'm oblivious to whether or not they are interested in me. I know the theory is, if they are they will move mountains to ask me out, so I am going on the theory they aren't.

However, I see them on a regular basis and basically want to know how to show them I am interested without coming off as too interested. And to be able to tell if they are interested (unless my theory is correct).

Thanks!

 

[hiwaygal]

I met my now DH in December 2002. I was 36 and he was 40. Neither of us had ever been married before. We met online...and we were married last year. I simply can't imagine my life without him...it's like I found the one person in the world who makes me happy, makes me comfortable...

I was also very much "against" the idea of websites. But that's what I did. IMO e-Harmony is a rip-off. I met DH on loveaccess. I tried a few other sites, met some freaks and some nice guys.

I never dated much but within a few weeks of posting a profile, I was talking to lots of guys. I dated more in that six months than I EVER had in my life.

I too didn't do bars/clubs, I belong to professional organizations, volunteered, everything...but for me, the web stuff was the easiest and best...as long as you are careful!

Good luck!! It can happen...but you do have to be pro-active!

 

[MouseWorshipin]

There are two guys who I am interested in. I'm oblivious to whether or not they are interested in me. I know the theory is, if they are they will move mountains to ask me out, so I am going on the theory they aren't.

However, I see them on a regular basis and basically want to know how to show them I am interested without coming off as too interested. And to be able to tell if they are interested (unless my theory is correct).

Thanks!

My theory is, "Guys are Dumb." You practically have to hit them over the head before they know you like them. Chat them up a bit. If they feel comfortable enough, they'll ask for your phone number. That's the best I can do.

Maybe someone will do better.

 

[Blueeyes101817]

im kinda in the same position--im not a big drinker , partier, dancer, so the clubs and bars arent where i usually hang out..
I work at a day care center and everyone i work with is female so that doesnt help !

Most people around here , my age (21), are really big into the drinking and partying

 

[WatchinCaptKangaroo]

My theory is, "Guys are Dumb." You practically have to hit them over the head before they know you like them. Chat them up a bit. If they feel comfortable enough, they'll ask for your phone number. That's the best I can do.

Maybe someone will do better.

Heh. Boys are stupid. Throw rocks at them.

They have my number. We run in the same group of friends and are hanging out all the time as a group. So that rules out just planting one on them.

I don't think I am sending off the *interested* vibe.

 

[MouseWorshipin]

Heh. Boys are stupid. Throw rocks at them.

They have my number. We run in the same group of friends and are hanging out all the time as a group. So that rules out just planting one on them.

I don't think I am sending off the *interested* vibe.

Next time one of them asks if you want to do such-and-such, say, "You mean, you and me? Like a date?" Not like you're all eager, just like it wouldn't be all that strange. Plants the seed, opens up the communication.

I never in my life asked a guy out. Couldn't do it, even if I wanted to. So, not much help. Sorry!

 

[Stacerita]

Next time one of them asks if you want to do such-and-such, say, "You mean, you and me? Like a date?" Not like you're all eager, just like it wouldn't be all that strange. Plants the seed, opens up the communication.

I never in my life asked a guy out. Couldn't do it, even if I wanted to. So, not much help. Sorry!

Most guys I have met are slow...not dumb, just slow. Sometimes you need to move first and see what happens. Its not the easiest thing to do, but once you do, its nothing. If you are interested in a guy, strike up a converstation and casually lead it to going out and they say something about the two of you getting together. The worst he can do is say no. Then just move on. Its not that big of a deal.

As far as meeting guys, thats a tough one. Most people will say go to conventional places and so forth, but that doesn't really work. I dont meet guys at Church, most are odd or married (at least at my church). Singles groups, the majority that I have gone to are bitter or haters. Bars and clubs aren't good for meeting someone unless you are looking for a hook up.

Meeting someone through friends is a great way to go. But you have to be careful on that end. Make sure that its someone they think you will be good with, not just someone because they are single too. And I wouldn't knock internet. Its an easy way to meet guys, you can do it on your own time, and you dont even have to be out of your jammies. Plus, you can weed through the wrong ones quicker IMO.

I would suggest just getting out there, going places, and doing things. But make sure they are things you are interested in. And dont dwell on hoping to meet a guy or be out there "looking". Be yourself and it will just happen without you trying. Spread the words to friends that you are interested in dating but make sure they know what you are interested in.

Best thing I can say is, be yourself. Being who you really are is what is going to make you attractive to that other person and draw them to you.

Good Luck!

 

[jfulcer]

Met DW in a bar. Totally was not looking for 'Mrs Right' at the time.

I also agree that guys are slow. If there's someone you like in your group of friends you may have to hit them over the head to get their attention.

But I don't get it - you say you don't want to meet guys on the Internet because it's not your thing. But yet you'll ask 60,000 strangers how to meet men? I'd say to try it - the worst that can happen is you have a few bad dates - but you could have a really good date. You'll never know at this point.

 

[WatchinCaptKangaroo]

But I don't get it - you say you don't want to meet guys on the Internet because it's not your thing. But yet you'll ask 60,000 strangers how to meet men? I'd say to try it - the worst that can happen is you have a few bad dates - but you could have a really good date. You'll never know at this point.

I've done dating sites. Met some very scary people on there. There are 60,000 registered DISers? Then I can get 60,000 opnions from various backgrounds and experiences. That's all I'm looking for from here, different opnions.

I think I am going to bonk one of my freinds over the head. I'm sure I can think of a good reason that he would deserve it