Meeting characters with social anxiety

[CinderElsa]

Oh my goodness, no one stares at you when you meet a character at a meal with the possible exception of 1900 park fare with the Tremaine family who are loud and tend to involve the entire restaurant. But even then, they're staring at the characters, not the person they're interacting with. I find that there are far, far, far more eyes on you in wait lines for characters than in meals where everyone is trying to hurry up and eat before the characters come. If you're that nervous, I would assume you go to the blind wait lines for the characters like in the character spot in epcot, not the world showcase anyway though.

I'm not sure how helpful it is to try to convince these people who have very real conditions (although, yes, I know Asperger's isn't a valid diagnosis anymore - just getting that in before someone points it out ) that what they experience is somehow false. I imagine that they KNOW they're perceived differently from other people and it would be counterproductive to tell them that they aren't. People probably ARE going to stare at them and have at least a peripheral awareness that something is "off" (for lack of a better term).

The characters, though, are not going to freak out if you cry or ignore you if you're nervous. They spend a good amount of time making shy toddlers feel comfortable, so it's not like you need to be a conversationalist in order to have a good interaction with them. You will not be the weirdest person they have ever encountered and the biggest jerks will have been "normal" people, I assure you.

kennythepirate.com has some tips for questions you can ask or topics you can talk with the characters about. If you bring an autograph book, you can write little notes to yourself in pencil in the margins so that you don't forget what you want to say due to nerves, and then you can erase them later.

 

[eyehartdisney]

I didn't mean it offensive. I was just taking it as if you had not done it before as the result of those fears, and I was trying to assure you that it wasn't that way... in my experience. I didn't think I needed to include 'in my experience' because I thought it was implied.

 

[Keebles]

I'm not sure how helpful it is to try to convince these people who have very real conditions (although, yes, I know Asperger's isn't a valid diagnosis anymore - just getting that in before someone points it out ) that what they experience is somehow false. I imagine that they KNOW they're perceived differently from other people and it would be counterproductive to tell them that they aren't. People probably ARE going to stare at them and have at least a peripheral awareness that something is "off" (for lack of a better term).

The characters, though, are not going to freak out if you cry or ignore you if you're nervous. They spend a good amount of time making shy toddlers feel comfortable, so it's not like you need to be a conversationalist in order to have a good interaction with them. You will not be the weirdest person they have ever encountered and the biggest jerks will have been "normal" people, I assure you.

Better answered than me..thanks! I'm still not comfortable with labeling myself as "Autistic" (not that there is anything wrong with being Autistic, before anyone goes there) which is why I still refer to myself as an Aspie and only use the word "autism" when I'm trying to explain Asperger's (because it's a word more people recognize). Plus, Autistic Spectrum Disorder doesn't have as many cute nickname choices as Asperger's does (and I don't really want yet another mnemonic to describe what is wrong with me)!

I didn't mean it offensive. I was just taking it as if you had not done it before as the result of those fears, and I was trying to assure you that it wasn't that way... in my experience. I didn't think I needed to include 'in my experience' because I thought it was implied.

I couldn't tell if I was misinterpreting what you were saying or not, which is why I added a more detailed explanation and why I tend to stay away from posting altogether because I never know if I'm just blowing things out of proportion. It's hard to judge someone's tone in writing (unless there are tons of capital letters and explanation marks). The curse of being a high-functioning autistic (there, I said it) is that I know exactly HOW I should be behaving or responding but I can't and it's the awareness that makes the entire situation worse. CinderElsa is right, I ooze "offness" and I'm aware of it which makes the ooze a downright downpour!

Now I'll let the OP have their thread back and go back into lurk mode for a while...this has worn me out! HA! Well, not really, but yeah, it really has. (Sorry...Asper humor).

 

[eyehartdisney]

The last thing I wanted was to make you feel like I was arguing with you or that you aren't welcome here. I said it poorly, and for that I apologize.

 

[FeralCatRogue]

I'm nervous meeting characters myself, but they are great about it. Had one Gaston drop the Gaston act down a lot when he saw it was making me real uncomfortable. Still acted like Gaston, but not all flirty as he usually is.

Had same experiences with good characters in Universal as well, though I did go to lesser seen ones.

 

[Princess Hannah]

I'm nervous meeting characters myself, but they are great about it. Had one Gaston drop the Gaston act down a lot when he saw it was making me real uncomfortable. Still acted like Gaston, but not all flirty as he usually is.

I had the same experience with Gaston! I was very nervous to meet him but I really wanted to, and when I got up to him I think he could tell how scared I was, and he was much calmer than he normally is and we had a really cool, quiet conversation. It was one of my better character interactions and my smiles in the pictures were actually genuine

 

[Travelgrrl]

Heavens, I feel badly for the person who tried to gently suggest that a character meal may be less difficult! I think that person was trying to describe the experience for the poster who said they had never been because it sounded too challenging. What a payback for trying to be nice!

I will also second her emotion. If you have never been to a character meal they are loud and frenetic (which may send some people off) but you have your own table from which you don't have to get up (unless you want) and teh characters come up behind you and pose with you. People at other tables are not paying any attention to you, because while Stitch is hugging your Grandma, Lilo is two tables over and Mickey is right over there. Everyone is concentrating on eating and the character approaching their table. I can see where for SOME people, this might be a less worrisome character interaction, rather than in some places in the parks where you are more 'on stage'. At a character meal, your family's table is your own little (loud) bubble.

This might not suit for the OP or others on the thread who struggle with these issues. But the person who mentioned it was taking time out of their day to suggest an alternative and I was pretty shocked that several people made them apologize several times.

Just remembering that Mickey or Ariel is a college student might help, too

 

[FeralCatRogue]

I have enjoyed pretty much all character things except for the one in Norway, but that may be simply because it was a little rushed and it was busy there to begin with with Anna & Elsa across the street.

O'hana the people were amazing, same with Cinderella's Royal Table. So I can say that those two I don't think someone with anxiety would have issues its all very nicely timed and everyone is sitting, and they make sure you get your visits by the characters, and you can see when they are coming to you since its pretty much the same order of tables they go to to prepare yaself.

If you have an issue with crowds though as well Ankuerus in Norway (I know the spelling is wrong) parades around so that may be a bit much.

 

[ArwenMarie]

It's interesting how people have so little empathy for anxiety disorders. Some "advice" is just about as helpful as telling a depressed person to cheer up already.

OP, good for you for pushing through your anxiety to do character meets.

And to Keebles, you are very well-spoken (I guess I should say written!) and informative when talking about your challenges. Kudos to you.

 

[Princess Hannah]

Heavens, I feel badly for the person who tried to gently suggest that a character meal may be less difficult! I think that person was trying to describe the experience for the poster who said they had never been because it sounded too challenging. What a payback for trying to be nice! I will also second her emotion. If you have never been to a character meal they are loud and frenetic (which may send some people off) but you have your own table from which you don't have to get up (unless you want) and teh characters come up behind you and pose with you. People at other tables are not paying any attention to you, because while Stitch is hugging your Grandma, Lilo is two tables over and Mickey is right over there. Everyone is concentrating on eating and the character approaching their table. I can see where for SOME people, this might be a less worrisome character interaction, rather than in some places in the parks where you are more 'on stage'. At a character meal, your family's table is your own little (loud) bubble. This might not suit for the OP or others on the thread who struggle with these issues. But the person who mentioned it was taking time out of their day to suggest an alternative and I was pretty shocked that several people made them apologize several times.

I didn't think they were offensive, and I didn't find what they said provoking or wrong. I think character meals might be easier for a lot of people. They're a nightmare for me personally, but that's just me.

I really appreciate everyone chiming in with their advice, opinions, and stories! Thank you and keep them coming!

 

[Mrs. Bradbury]

How about having some business cards (like from Vistaprint) done that say something like: "I have social anxiety. I am thrilled to meet you but I may feel overwhelmed, so I may need a moment to collect myself." Give the card to either the handler or the character when it's your turn, pause, and then dive in and enjoy yourself.

Just make sure the font on the card is big enough for them to easily and quickly read. IIRC the font size option was not very obvious on the Vistaprint page when I most recently designed some cards.

My whole family cries when we go under the welcome arch, and I've been known to cry during fireworks or when looking at the castle during the Goodnight Kiss, so I'd say happy tears are much more common than you might think.

 

[eyehartdisney]

Look, I never intended this to be a giant back and forth. I apologized for my phrasing. I never once said that anxiety wasn't real, or that they wouldn't be perceived differently, I simply said there was mitigating factors in a character meal that can make it easier for the anxiety for me who also has social anxiety. I play over a character interaction a billion times in my head, before and after.

Honestly I was fine with this. Pretty sure Keebles was too. We clarified this, and it was done. But the rest of the people piping in made it worse, in particular ArwenMarie, with a out and out insult.

This is exactly what I said:

Oh my goodness, no one stares at you when you meet a character at a meal with the possible exception of 1900 park fare with the Tremaine family who are loud and tend to involve the entire restaurant.

See how I posted specific details about things to avoid? That means I'm taking them seriously that it is a problem, and not saying that it's nothing.

But even then, they're staring at the characters, not the person they're interacting with.

I assume this was the problematic line. Admittedly it was a banal reassurance, but I included it because you never know when something could be helpful. It's what I say to myself when I'm at a character meet, regardless of whether or not it's a character meal.

I find that there are far, far, far more eyes on you in wait lines for characters than in meals where everyone is trying to hurry up and eat before the characters come.

This is my personal experience. I thought it was assumed that it was just my experience, not to say everyone will have the same. Obviously they won't.

If you're that nervous, I would assume you go to the blind wait lines for the characters like in the character spot in epcot, not the world showcase anyway though.

Just a conversation starter. If someone would have said Oh! Yea! I totally do that, I would have commiserated that that was how I started until I could build myself up to going to regular character meets.

Now that I have explained this in detail, can we please just let it go? Let it go? Don't hold it back anymore...

 

[fluffykalie]

Hello I think it's awesome that you are pushing your self out of your comfort zone to experience things you want to. I also feel its the best way to help overcome the anxiety. I had panic attacks really bad through middle and high school and into adult hood. Having the support of my husband and working with the public has caused them to lesson. I won't hang out with people unless we are doing something like shopping or bowling to much pressure to talk. All you can do is take it one day at a time and try not to obsess over conversations or looks from people. Good luck have a great vacation

 

[Princess Hannah]

The characters know when you're uncomfortable (somehow...part of the Disney magic I always say) and are really good about not being pushy.

I've found this too! Almost all of the characters I've ever met have sensed how uncomfortable I am and are very, very gentle with me. They've made me more comfortable with meeting characters in the future because of how kind and understanding they've been, even when I can't understand how they know I need extra space and care. I've had a lot of amazing interactions despite my fears because of how gentle the characters are.

Disney is probably the only other place on earth (besides home and work) where I feel the most "safe" and "happy". .

Same here--Disney is where I feel safest and most comfortable, even more than my own home. I don't know why, or how...it's magic!

 

[Princess Hannah]

Does anyone know if there are characters who might be easier to meet than others? (Keeping in mind that I very much prefer face characters to fur characters.)

 

[ArwenMarie]

nm

 

[FeralCatRogue]

They all seemed pretty much able to change how they acted so I think all were good. I'd say Elsa but you gotta get thru Anna to get to her and shes pretty bubbly. Ariel in her grotto was pretty laid back too when I went. As I said earlier though they change to meet you, like Gaston toned way down when i went. It all depends on whos playing them that day i'd say.

 

[jco_direwolf]

This may sound insane, or just be plain wrong. But I had some random thoughts.

But you say you chicken out in line, what about seeing if you can find a character that is just coming out that has a short/non existent line. Because it SOUNDS like to me you can get up the nerve to get in the line but then the stress gets to you and you leave.

The other option, I could think of is do you travel with someone? You could always have your travel companion with you to help prompt you along. Help you rehearse what you want to say or do.

Like I said just some random thoughts, mind you from a guy who is happy to run in the Princess 1/2 and stand in line to meet Aurora (she has always been and will always be my sweety.)

All the princesses seem to be great. But you might want to try a princess you don't admire so much for starters.

 

[jco_direwolf]

get thru Anna to get to her and shes pretty bubbly.

So I've not met A&E in the parks yet. Not high on my priority list, I'll get to it just not a wait X hours thing for me. THAT said...

from the youtube clips I've seen she seems more bubbly than any mermaid in the sea.. Wow she seems bubbly

 

[MerryFlora]

Princess Hannah I admire you for facing your fears. This thread is sure to help others as well.

I would suggest you visit the character(s) first thing in the morning. Shorter lines will give you less of a chance for the anxiety to build. Plus the characters will be their freshest and on their game so to speak. I agree with others that they are typically good at reading people and no doubt have dealt with all kinds of situations. Try not to think about what they are thinking of you, they just want to give you some magic and make your dreams come true!

Personally with my anxiety, which can get really bad at Disney, I have a comfort object. Something I can put in my hand or pocket. I also leave myself notes on my phone, people just think I'm checking my phone but I'm looking at my own words... "breathe" "you are okay" "you are in control"

Good luck to you!