"Me" time verses "family" needs/time

[cats7494]

This goes along with another post...

How do you determine what is good for you personally and what is good for your family? How do you choose your priorities?
How do you manage your time?

How do you find the balance of "me" time and "family" needs?

 

[shelbyjosh]

I have very poor time management skills! My house is somewhat clean, clothes are washed, food is cooked, etc. but I cannot manage my time worth crap! The computer is a big distraction. I think I am adult ADD since I cannot finish one task without starting another.

 

[DWhittles]

I've been dealing with this one for a LONG time.
I love tattoos and my husband can't stand them.
Since I found out I was pregnant, I've been planning a rather large back piece dedicated to my two boys. It would take up most of my shoulder blades and upper back.
I really really really really want this tattoo.
My husband thinks it's a juvinile foolish thing to do and that I'm too old to be running around inking up my body.
Beacuse he hates them so much, I've put the tattoo off. (now of course, I can't have it done till the second baby is born) but I'm strongly considering getting it at a local tattoo convention in October.
My struggle is do I do what feels right to ME and do what I want to do, knowing that he hates the things and will have to see it and live with it all the time?
It's tough to find the balance in a relationship of how to still be you and grow and better yourself and keep harmony in your relationship.
Diana

 

[LvsTnk]

What me time??? I have teens that seem to need more supervision than a newborn baby!!

I do love spending time with my family and doing all those things that need taking care of with a house and kids. I will have plenty of me time later...but that's just how I am.

 

[dturner]

There is no "me time" in my house.

 

[bigbabyblues]

I get 'me' time when I go to work! I also use a lot of my "me" time to play on the computer, when they boys are sleeping.

Steph

 

[TammiMcMan]

Laurie, that's very true. I had more "me" time when the kids were little. Now that they're older, I'm pretty much living out of my car. They are active in school and have some time consuming after-school activities. DH has a job that keeps him at work close to 12 hours a day, so to try and balance kids, us time and me time is very difficult.

My first priority is to the kids, but there are limits. They would be involved in everything if I let them. I normally allow them to choose one school activity and one after school activity for each season. My DS is also a competitive figure skater, so that can throw a monkey wrench into everything at certain times of the year.

With DH, we do try to go out for a romantic dinner alone at least once a month. For the past 2 years, we've also managed short parents only vacations.

This might sound strange, but my me time is actually the time I spend in work. I'm lucky enough to have a job that I absolutely love. I look forward to going in everyday.

You have to strive for a balance and everyone in your family has to be committed to it. Kids of almost any age can help set a dinner table, put their clothes away and clean up after themselves. Husbands can cook a dinner one night a week and even though our kids don't believe it, they can also read bedtime stories and are pretty good at tucking children into bed. This can give mom those few precious minutes to read a book of her own, or to maybe get a night out at the gym or a class at the local college or YMCA.

Like everything else, it takes work and some compromise, but it can be done.

Tammi

 

[newholidayx2]

it seems the older DS gets the more "me" time I have

 

[leighe]

There is no "me time" in my house.

See, this is what scares me about having kids!

I'm sure I'm going to get flamed as a selfish, heartless person but I'm a little freaked out by the thought of never having me time again! DH and I have decided to start trying this summer, but every once in a while I start to think, "Wait a minute - I may never be alone again!!!!!"

My mom says it's normal to feel this way. She says she remembers when I was about 1 and she had watched Sesame Street with me about 6 times in a row thinking, "I may never get to watch what I want to on TV again."

I'm going to read this whole thread and see how people do it!

 

[TammiMcMan]

Leighe, wanting some time for yourself is neither selfish nor heartless. You have to make some adjustments and compromise when you get married and making room for kids isn't really that much different. You obviously won't be able to just take off whenever you want to, but with patience and flexibility, you can always manage to find time for you. Life is all about balance.

 

[leighe]

Tammi - I think you might be one of the sweetest, balanced people I have ever had the pleasure of communicating with! Your advice is always invaluable to me.

 

[TammiMcMan]

Thank you Leighe. It's taken me 41 years in this world, 21 years of marriage and many life experiences to get me to where I am today. I honestly do believe in evolving into the best person that you can possibly be.

I've read some of your threads and you are off to a great start.

 

[SpecialK]

I get "me" time by getting up earlier than I need to so I can have a cup of coffee and read the paper and listen to the news. I also have an understanding DH who has no problem taking over with the boys so I can soak in a tub, shop, etc. I also go out to dinner with girlfriends once a month. It's been crazy around here lately - DH has been sick at the same time at least one of the boys has been sick AND my dad has begun to require more help. No me time lately, but it seems to go in cycles sometimes anyway.

 

[gshoemate]

I have a 6 year old and a 2 1/2 year old that takes alot of time. I go to the gym 4-5 times a week and that is my "me" time. DD is in school and the child development center at the gym watches DS for a maximum of 2 hours, I really enjoy that 2 hours. I am also very lucky that I work from home, so I start work at 7:00 p.m. when the kids go to bed. If I don't have work to do, then thats when I take a bubble bath, read, watch T.V, work on a scrapbook, etc. I squeeze housework and laundry in when I have time, I don't stress about it. Don't get me wrong, my house isn't that dirty, but I can't tell you the last time I dusted, it's just on the bottom of my list.

When both of my children were young, my focus was them. And they weren't really on a schedule so I squeezed time in for myself when they were napping. But now that they are older and one is in school, I find it easier to find time for me. But there are days when I don't find it, but thats O.K. to, I love being a mom.

 

[transparant]

I have very poor time management skills! My house is somewhat clean, clothes are washed, food is cooked, etc. but I cannot manage my time worth crap! The computer is a big distraction. I think I am adult ADD since I cannot finish one task without starting another.

OMG!!!!!!!! You and I were separated at birth weren't we!!!?? You MUST be my long lost twin!

With a 14, 13, 11, 8, 6, & 4 year old - I basically have *0* time management skills. I just float from one activity to the next.

 

[Fire14]

for me ME time is the time I spend working on my scrapbook. Granted this may happen at Neighbors house with "the Girls" or at work during the night shift. I also have a DH who works 16 or so hour shifts so I'm usually allowed time during week too.