- Joined
- Feb 8, 2003
- Messages
- 10,626
What your rule usually is- is what our rule usually is. LOL
But it can't really be that way in the OQ and stack- they have to leave to go to the bathroom, get a drink, and they don't feed them there either like the lab/club. LOL
I don't know the age of your child (sorry if you've posted it and I've forgotten?) but you know all kids are different anyway so age only plays a small part in it. With my kids I'd much rather they be in the room than roaming the ship- which is why I told them that is the rule this time. If they don't somehow make SURE we know where they are and aren't actually there if we check- then they can stay with us 24/7 and if we're doing something they can't do (adult activtites) that's when they'd be in the room. We've cruised a few times in 2 rooms everytime and I know they know never to open the door. Their father and I have a key- so if we need in we can get in... don't open the door for anyone (they aren't allowed to do room service if we're not in the room with them either! because that would require opening the door obviously LOL)
I do wish cellphones would work on the ship- would solve the problem immediately if we could just text one another like we do in real life. LOL
Just come up with a different plan because like previously mentioned by me (and others on other threads) you cannot rely on the paging system with kids 11+. Even if your child asks them to page you- more likely than not it won't ever happen. We found that out on the last cruise and that's why this time we're going to have to rely on erase boards on the door and/or calling the room themselves and leaving a voice message. We're not going to even bother trying to rely on pages ever again!
Kcashner- I knew stack didn't have pagers but they acted (beginning of cruise) like it was no problem at all for them to contact someone to have us paged to let us know where Ruby would be- if Ruby asked them to- but either that wasn't the case with all counselors (which seemed to change out rather frequently btw) or they just really didn't feel it was necessary or didn't care to actually do it- because they didn't bother. and I know it wasn't a miscommunication with the lab or club after they called them because when I'd ask the STACK counselors they always said things like they forgot, thought someone else was doing it, etc. So they'd never even attempted to relay that message about a page to the club/lab counselors.
I agree it was primarily the evenings where things happened that we felt were inappropriate. Problem is, atleast on our cruise, it seemed like the "fun" activities were primarily scheduled late at night. Perhaps what time of day PLUS having more kids in there (due to the more fun activities scheduled at that time) is what led to more inappropriate behavior during that time? Needless to say that is when we'll be less likely to allow our daughter in the stack and/or have more frequent check-ins with her.
Just want to point out though that sometimes you THINK you know your teen and are rudely surprised to find out things you didn't know about them or whatnot. Especially with young teens still trying to find their way so to speak. What I mean is our daughter always seemed like more of a leader- but she was only 14 and not starting highschool yet (starting right after the cruise). She was the type that hadn't even had a boyfriend yet- hadn't even held a boy's hand- very much into band, athletics, and church youth group/choir/etc.... and really didn't seem like a follower. But I think a lot of kids would find it hard at that age to not "follow" along with how all the older teens are behaving in order to fit in that crowd. It's not like they'll be with these kids long enough for the kids to get to know them for who they are/etc- so for a young teen they might think well I'll just do what they do, go where they go, and act like they do and then they'll like me and I'll have instant friends on the cruise.
My daughter on the first cruise was 12 back when they were in the lab and you could even make it where they can't check themselves out. She had an absolutely blast. When she was in the stack she mostly wanted to be IN THE STACK and had hoped they'd have lots of activities like they did in the lab. She had a rude awakening of them having lots and lots of "free time" just "hanging in the stack" practically the entire day with the fun activities at night. I think she had a bit of boredom and not everyone wanted to be in the stack all day hoping for something fun to do like she was- so she went along constantly leaving the stack when they did and just kinda hanging around with groups of kids in order to have SOMETHING to do besides "hanging in the stack". She followed them when THEY went to the stores to shop (she wasn't into shopping and didn't buy a thing), she walked around with them, she ate when they did, etc. It was either do that or sit around bored "hanging in the stack" (Yes we saw that consistently on the navigator LOL)
and then.... the "hooking up" stuff started happening. Maybe it wouldn't have on a shorter cruise but this one was a 15nt. By the 2nd week we found out (thru our tablemate's son the "spy" LOL) that apparently her and some boy started "liking one another". His friend hung out with them all the time too but it was becoming obvious her and this boy liked one another and my daughter really didn't have experience with this type stuff. She's had boys like her in school but we have zero tolerance policy on ANY PDA (even holding hands) and here was some boy that liked her and they were free from adult supervision on a ship for days on end. KWIM?
eh anyway long story to get into but suffice it to say we weren't pleased and started being stricter with her and she WON'T have as much freedom on this cruise. If she doesn't like it- she can stay home with Granny and not go- for all I care. May sound harsh but I am NOT spending another cruise worrying about my ELDEST child the whole time. nope, not again!
OH and ugh- one time during smoothie time quite a few were doing stuff I didn't approve of with the drinks- SHARING smoothies (like to taste if they liked that one or not) yuck!
Yes I had no problem whatsoever coming to the top of stairs to find my daughter and yes I saw behavior I did not approve of- dirty dancing, makeout sessions, girls LAYING on boys on the beanbags in positions I don't approve of even though they had their clothes on, etc. I don't think the CMs would do a thing about that even if you talked to them though. They were always there and seemed like it was perfectly acceptable behavior to them. I think they are of the mind that if you don't approve of that behavior for YOUR child then just don't have your child in the stack (which bothers me btw). They are DEFINITELY NOT "superivising" in a manner which I approve of or in any way like compared to school dances and such (the ones here atleast- I don't know how strict other schools are). They seem to have the attitude of "anything goes" short of actual intercourse IMO and pretty much let the kids set the "pace" of whatever behavior goes on- whatever the kids want to do. KWIM?
I think this is probably our only complaint about DCL (can't complain about other cruiselines if they do the same- since we've only cruised DCL) is that they really don't seem to GET it about teenagers. They are treating it more like an adult like area for teenagers as young as 14 (minus drinking ofcourse). The counselors are there for what? Is their only real job duty to be there for activities scheduled if the kids want to participate- and nothing else? It seems that way to me anyway. To be honest at this point (with the age changes) it seems like to me that DCL caters to young children and those 11yrs old or up they are ONLY making sure there is a place for them to go if they want to, an adult somewhere in the vacinity although their job duties don't seem to entail really much more than being there and doing the activities if the kids want to do those, and other than that- 11yrs old and up DCL thinks should be free to roam the ship and not much supervision or atleast not having the counselors bother with enforcing good appropriate behavior. I think that's far far too young.
Carolyn
