May 10, 2008 Ship of Thieves! Stealing the Magic..AGAIN!!! Panama Canal FL to CA!!! Part 5

[JLSE50]

Wow, you are inventive! I look forward to seeing you both. There is absolutely, say again, absolutely, no way I will get John to dress up as a pirate!

Ah well, I have loved him for all these years and he sure isn't going to change now is he?

The "dressing up" idea was Tom's. I felt like asking "Who are you and what did you do with my husband?" It started with our Halloween Cruise in 2002 where he said I should be Snow White and he would be the King --we figured that by our age they would have been promoted.

When they started Pirate Night and we learned on the DIS that some people dress for Pirate night, he was hooked and said he did not want to be a scruffy pirate.

On the the DVC Member's Cruise in 2005 we took both sets of costumes because the pre-cruise info said that one night would be ROYALTY NIGHT. We thought Mickey and Minnie would be crowned King and Queen. We were surprised that the GUESTS were crowned as Kings and Queens. So now his costume has a slouchy blue hat with a feather like in the movie and a velveteen and ermine crown for a king.

Also, should have added a formal option for the cruise--the dress I wore to my son's wedding. It should pack well and where else can you wear a Mother-of-the-Groom dress anyway!?

Jan

 

[JLSE50]

Holly - sorry about the migraines...that must be terrible.

It is so gorgeous out here...but very warm. I feel we need a revolving door...it's constantly in and out of the pool and house for one thing or another. I think we should have Wednesday's off every week! (but be paid for it of course)

I think I mentioned my mystery shopping on here. Next weekend I had signed us up for an AP Tower of Terror event and had booked a room at rack rack at a value, which I canceled...$122 for Pop, is just too much. Well I got an email mystery shop hotel in Orlando assignment, they pay for the hotel and I also get paid over $100! How cool is that?

Also, we have a new baby bunny in our white birds of paradise. Very cute.

Hope everyone is enjoying their day!

Very cool~! What is an AP event?
Jan

 

[JLSE50]

http://www.scaboots.com/

Thanks for the link to a boot site. We will consider it. DH has wide feet so may prefer to stay with the duct tape buckle on loafers he has already broken in. I don't know.

Jan

 

[JLSE50]

Hi everybody.....

Been a very difficult few weeks. My mom was directly instructed by her doctor she can no longer be alone and my life has turned to H*LL. My brothers and I are trying so hard to be accomendating. She does not want to go into assisted living...so we suggested spending some time with each of us during the year. She only wants to go home to her own house. She does not want to be with any of us. She has lost 16 pounds in 6 months and now weighs 95 pounds. They can find no medical reason for the weight loss at all. She is just not eating enough.

I am supposed to leave in a few weeks for the MED cruise and I am hoping I do not need to cancel.

Please keep me in your prayers.

I will check in when I can.
Lisa

PMing this to Lisa too, but posting here in case she reads this first or one of you has her e-mail address and can forward it.

It was very difficult for my Mother to accept that she needed 24 hour care too. I think she resented the fact that she was aging and could not do everything herself. And, if one of us was with her, she could not fake it as she ran out of energy with the attempts to "cover" her lapses. With her it is Alzheimer's.

First my brother (the only single kid of the three of us) moved in with her but eventually he was not getting enough sleep as he had an ear open all night in case she got up and wandered so was having physical problems of his own.

He took a couple trips to see a friend for long weekends and arranged for her to stay in an Alzheimer's community each time only for the duration of the trip. After a couple of those short visits, he took her one time and when he got back he went to visit her, but did not take her home. She was not really happy about it, but was reassured when he said he would be back to visit the next day.

At the Community she is supervised with a lot of freedom. Encouraged to participate but not forced. She does not have to make meals, do laundry or make beds. She is gaining weight.

The staff have PATIENCE because they work 8 hour shifts and then go home to SLEEP in their own beds and someone else takes the next 8 hours.

For what it's worth, I share our experience.
Best wishes with this new challenge in life.

Jan

 

[JLSE50]

My heart breaks for you because I know EXACTLY how frustrating it is for you and how you're at such a loss because you don't know what to do. There's no way you can make her understand that she can't be left home alone and there's no way she is going to agree to anything else.

Since there's just the two of us, John and I talked about moving into my mom's house soon. But that's not an answer either because it's not our home and we would be miserable. We wouldn't be able to bring our things and our pets. But the only way my mom could stay in her home is if someone is there with her 24/7 to care for her.

The same for your mom....if you could uproot your family and move in with her, then she would be happy....but, no one else would. It's a lose/lose situation and I'm sorry that I don't have any solution to offer you. I'm at the same crossroad and don't have the answers either. John and I have discussed all the senieros at length and keep coming up with nothing that works.

I know that when my grandmother was at that time in her life, she already lived with my mom....so it was easy for my mother. She hired a part time home nurse aid who came in for a couple of hours every day.

I would have to hire a live in "nanny" for my mother and just can't afford that expense. I have even thought about looking for a "roommate" for mom and providing them with free room and board and a small salary....maybe a single mother with a child. I don't know.

I will be thinking of you everyday....keep us updated and let me know how you progress and move forward. Just don't give up your cruise, you are going to need it before starting the long haul that's ahead of you.

I am not sure Lisa's Mom would be happy if someone moved in with her. My Mother was not. She resented us there. Messing with her things. Doing her jobs. Being in her places. She accused us of moving her things so she would think she was going crazy when all along it was the Alzheimer's and she did not remember where she had put something.

It was getting so that we had to focus on SAFETY. We would tell her that certain things had to be done a certain way to be SAFE. The paint cans and piles of papers cannot line the edge of the hall as that is NOT SAFE. The phone book cannot be opened to look up a number using the stove burners as a counter for the book because it is NOT SAFE. Even though she had done it, she could not disagree that the choice was NOT SAFE. She saw that it was dangerous when we pointed it out but did not think ahead. She was like a preschooler--doing what seemed like a good idea at the time. We would not let a 4 year old live alone. We could not let her live alone.

There are services from which you can hire staffing to come in and live with the Senior. Some people are very comfortable with that. Others worry a lot about theft. The agencies are bonded and staff are taught that they CANNOT accept gifts from the client because even though the Senior sincerely wants to give them a gift today, it will not be remembered tomorrow so when the adult-children notice the missing item the Senior cannot remember that it was a gift to the Aid and soon everyone is thinking it was stolen.

A local Senior Citizen Housing company might be able to recommend a good company if you want to look into it.
Jan

 

[JLSE50]

well kids as some of you know...and some of you don't... I bought a 1981 Honda Goldwing in March. Well, I have been riding illegally since then... and last weekend I was at motorcycle endorsement class at the local community college, and I wrecked my ride. Yes, ladies... I had to lay him right there on the asphalt. So, broken collarbone, and some ribs later, I am slow to respond. Please send warm thoughts for speady recovery... bike needs OCC over haul now. LOL

Hoping you both
are soon
Jan

 

[JLSE50]

Does your mom have any other family members or friends that she can discuss her frustrations or problems with? I remember how hard it was for my grandparents to face that they could no longer live alone. I also remember my dad having to grit his teeth and have my sister and her husband move in. At some point, she will have to come to grips with the loss of her independance which I think is what the heart of the matter is here.

I think there comes a time when you must act even if it is against her wishes. If she cannot live alone and you can not afford a caregiver, she really does not have much choice and choice is the heart of the matter and the loss of her own choices about how and where she will live. My heart goes out to you. I wish I could offer a better solution but watching my mom act as a public guardian for 20 years with just these kinds of cases has given me some insight I might never have experienced.

WOW!!
The grandkids moved in with Grandma! That is a very creative solution
They might have been in need of housing.
They might have been in need of income or even employment.
There were two of them.
They were younger than the parents so had more energy.
I AM SO IMPRESSED WITH THAT SOLUTION!

Jan

 

[JLSE50]

Your experience has given you a keen insight in these situations and you're right that action must be taken against their wishes. But all we ever want is for our loved ones to be happy. How do we then live with ourselves knowing that they will never be happy again and they now hate us for taking action against them. They still believe that they are right and we are wrong and you will never convince them otherwise.

Sadly, I hope my mom passes before I have to take that choice away from her because then I'll know that she lived happily until the end and that's easier for me to live with. I dread that my last memories of being with her will be ones of hatred and strife. I don't want that for her and I don't want that for me. There are no easy answers here.

We had to face the reality that if we left Mother on her own she would drive her car and might not only kill herself or someone else, she might leave someone handicapped for life. Or she might have burned the house down and been physically handicapped and in pain the rest of her days. NOT SAFE.

We can make their days pleasant. We can encourage them to do things they enjoy. We can remind them that we love them and want them SAFE.

Mother was in Indy last week for our family party in honor of our son's marriage but does not remember it. She asks my brother "Are we going to the wedding today?" and each day he just says, "Not today." When I talk to her on the phone she is surprised that I say she was here. She does not remember it. She is mostly unhappy at herself. At her own decline because she can see it. I do not think she hates us.

When here she even started to ask who would write her obituary. She got stuck on the words but I am sure that is what she wanted to say. When I tried to get her to do her own back when she wrote Dad's in 2000 she never did it, so last year my brother and sister decided that I am to do it and then she asks me who will do it, so I did it. I followed the format she used for Dad's and knocked it out in short order. I printed it out (without the paragraph about "she leaves two daughters, one son......) and we showed it to her, asking her if it was a "Good Biography" of her. She thought it was.

It is sad, but we have to do the best we can to keep them safe and to keep others around them safe too. It helps me to remember she is not mad at ME, she is mad at the disease that is robbing her of her thinking processes and recent memories.
Jan

 

[birkner]

Happy Anniversary for yesterday Noel & John, and for today Marilyn & John.

Thank you!! We had a lovely anniversary yesterday.

 

[birkner]

Your experience has given you a keen insight in these situations and you're right that action must be taken against their wishes. But all we ever want is for our loved ones to be happy. How do we then live with ourselves knowing that they will never be happy again and they now hate us for taking action against them. They still believe that they are right and we are wrong and you will never convince them otherwise.

Sadly, I hope my mom passes before I have to take that choice away from her because then I'll know that she lived happily until the end and that's easier for me to live with. I dread that my last memories of being with her will be ones of hatred and strife. I don't want that for her and I don't want that for me. There are no easy answers here.

One of the hardest thing we ever have to do is children of adult parents is to deal with our elderly parents and their loss of control and independance. I hope by my own example of how I dealt with my parents will be an inspiration of how my children will deal with me if I ever get in that situation.

There are never easy answers but the most important job you and your siblings have is to keep your mom safe. It is almost like we are living in reverse and having to parent our own parents. We want them to be happy but we have the same responsibilty to them to be sure they are safe and well cared for. Just as you make tough decisions that your children do not like, we have to make the same tough decisions with elderly parents that they may not like. I guess this is all part of the circle of life.

 

[calmom]

Hi everybody.....

Been a very difficult few weeks. My mom was directly instructed by her doctor she can no longer be alone and my life has turned to H*LL. My brothers and I are trying so hard to be accomendating. She does not want to go into assisted living...so we suggested spending some time with each of us during the year. She only wants to go home to her own house. She does not want to be with any of us. She has lost 16 pounds in 6 months and now weighs 95 pounds. They can find no medical reason for the weight loss at all. She is just not eating enough.

I am supposed to leave in a few weeks for the MED cruise and I am hoping I do not need to cancel.

Please keep me in your prayers.

I will check in when I can.
Lisa

Lisa,
This must be so tough. Hang in there...I will pray that your mom can reach some peace with her situation. And I hope her weight loss ceases....that must be scary.
Lisa

 

[calmom]

No wallets in the spa. The Old Greenwood and the Wild Goose look lovely!! We are watching the fireworks from our hotel room window as it is too darn hot outside!!

It is so nice here. We had a great time visiting friends in Tahoe City last night and seeing the fireworks from their home owner association's beach. The kids had a blast running around - I think there was a total of 21 children under 13. Today we have stayed by the pool at Old Greenwood. http://www.tahoemountainclub.com/index.cfm?event=club_amenities&id=78 My parents have one of the fractional ownership for 4th of July and then we share one for President's week. Between the two ownerships we get 6 weeks plus available "spontaneous time." It is really nice - if anyone is local and want us to refer you let us know. They give you I think 3 free nights and then ask that you listen to their pitch (although we never did - it was very low key). You can PM your full name and I can leave it with them tomorrow. We are unfortunately having to go home tomorrow and go back to reality. Some day I would like to have summers off completely just to play with the kids. But for now, mortgage, taxes, and Disney cruises need both our incomes!!

I think we will ship as well - I wonder if there is a place in LAX to send things back??

I still can't get United SFO-MCO under $390 one way. CRAZY! There are other flights, but non direct. We HAVE to have direct - with 4 young boys I do not want to get off until I'm in Florida!
Lisa

 

[JLSE50]

Picture posted by STARWOOD on the PICTURE OF THE DAY Thread and labeled as SEALING AWAY FROM LA

Sailing away from LA.

Look what is in store for us!
Jan

 

[JLSE50]

One of the hardest thing we ever have to do is children of adult parents is to deal with our elderly parents and their loss of control and independance. I hope by my own example of how I dealt with my parents will be an inspiration of how my children will deal with me if I ever get in that situation.

There are never easy answers but the most important job you and your siblings have is to keep your mom safe. It is almost like we are living in reverse and having to parent our own parents. We want them to be happy but we have the same responsibilty to them to be sure they are safe and well cared for. Just as you make tough decisions that your children do not like, we have to make the same tough decisions with elderly parents that they may not like. I guess this is all part of the circle of life.

Well said. Thank you!
Jan

 

[HollyTyler]

Picture posted by STARWOOD on the PICTURE OF THE DAY Thread and labeled as SEALING AWAY FROM LA


Look what is in store for us!
Jan

That picture makes me sad because when we see that view, it will be the end of our cruise.

 

[Jhalkias]

Happy Belated Anniversary Noel . . . glad to see you back.

is anyone planning on shipping a box back home? We are definitely shipping one to the ship with costumes, DIS goodies, etc and I think we will need to ship one back from LA to not run into the 50lb deal. Where do you find scales at the airport?

V, I know you haven't flown much . . . they weigh your bags at the check in counter. I have not yet checked on Frontier's policies - every airline has different limits.

Hi everybody.....

Been a very difficult few weeks. My mom was directly instructed by her doctor she can no longer be alone and my life has turned to H*LL. My brothers and I are trying so hard to be accomendating. She does not want to go into assisted living...so we suggested spending some time with each of us during the year. She only wants to go home to her own house. She does not want to be with any of us. She has lost 16 pounds in 6 months and now weighs 95 pounds. They can find no medical reason for the weight loss at all. She is just not eating enough.

I am supposed to leave in a few weeks for the MED cruise and I am hoping I do not need to cancel.

Please keep me in your prayers.

I will check in when I can.
Lisa

You have gotten many good responses, so I won't add mine . . . you are in our prayers, and I know what you are going through.

well kids as some of you know...and some of you don't... I bought a 1981 Honda Goldwing in March. Well, I have been riding illegally since then... and last weekend I was at motorcycle endorsement class at the local community college, and I wrecked my ride. Yes, ladies... I had to lay him right there on the asphalt. So, broken collarbone, and some ribs later, I am slow to respond. Please send warm thoughts for speady recovery... bike needs OCC over haul now. LOL

Ouch! I loved my motorcycle . . . Sold it after our son was born 20 years ago - look forward to another one someday.

Very cool~! What is an AP event?
Jan

Annual Passholder event . . .

Alex (our son) is having a great time in London, he says it has been an awesome trip. He is going to try and make it to Bath over the weekend. He made friends with a bunch of Canadian kids at the hostel, and I am afraid has gotten used to the lower drinking age . . . (he is 20).

Finally got to use someone's wi-fi here who left it on. Missed talking to all of you over the week. If I get a chance, I will post some photos later.

 

[gouodux]

We just switched our reservation to Costco tonight. Nice thing is we will receive a $650 gift card upon completion of cruise. Best thing is we were able to switch to Main Dining!!! Makes us very happy.

 

[HollyTyler]

We just switched our reservation to Costco tonight. Nice thing is we will receive a $650 gift card upon completion of cruise. Best thing is we were able to switch to Main Dining!!! Makes us very happy.

WOW! How cool! How'd you do that?

 

[Jhalkias]

Here's a photo of Sophia with her two cousins all dressed up for 4th of July, the littlest one had her adoption day celebration tonight . . .

The girls had fun at the beach playing with ribbons for the 4th . . .

The ocean yesterday was unbelievable for the Atlantic, calm blue-green, almost like the Carribbean.

 

[lillygator]

Great pics John - the girls look so happy!