Holly - just wanted you to know that your right to a point. It seems that DS while we fight like cats and dogs, knows that while dad (and we're together still) is the one to be friends and there with $$ when it comes to talking things out - he comes to me. He is now 21 and I can always tell when he wants to tell me something. I usually just sit there and nod my head - its nice to know that he feels he can talk to me about things but let me tell you - there were a few conversations where I was going

and
However, I always made it a point to be pretty blunt about things and also told them if you don't want to talk to me - talk to your aunts and uncles. Just talk to someone. DS does - there have been times when he comes into our bedroom wanting to talk and we can go for hours. However, one little kneejerk reaction and he flounces out. So you do have to be careful - just find a way as they get older to let them know that your there although you may not always approve of what their actions are.
We just had a talk on Thursday night about his girlfriend situation - he was asking me how to end things with her.

Can you believe it? He had the nerve to stick me in the dog pile role!!!
But my point is - kids will appreciate you and there is hope - I always feel so much better after our talks - something that DH and he can NEVER share. Those are my moments!