Let's make this clear. By virtue of being DISers and sharing internet space with fellow DISers we are all guilty of the following:
1. We will now all push stuffed animals around in our grocery carts and take pictures of them. We will all believe ourselves to be the offspring of 2 female mice; FICTIONAL female mice at that.
2. We are all pondering bankruptcy and are just trying to figure out how to squeeze one last trip out before we file, or how to put aside a horde of Disney Dollars to pay for a trip after we file.
3. None of us has any idea of when it might be a good idea to go to the doctor rather than to ask the DIS medical review board for advice.
4. We've all made threats against the family of other DISers (but then we were made mods so it's all cool).
5. We all pool hop yet at the same time we believe that pool hoppers should be tarred, feathered and stoned in Liberty Square for their sins.
6. We all cram 47 people into a value resort room yet at the same time we refer to value resort guests as tasteless, classless, refrigerator sharing, chuckwagon eating, cheap sons of *****es.
7. We all own a pit bull but at the same time want pit bulls outlawed.
8. We bring our refillable mugs back year after year, but it's OK because we beat ourselves with those mugs later in punishment for our crimes.
9. We've all believed that there is a special magic bag at Downtown Disney that allows you to fill it with purchases from any store and wander around without paying for it.
10. We've all booked travel with discounts we know we are not entitled to but we feel entitled to anyway.
11. We've all began an internet affair with fellow DISers.
12. We've all posted our passwords on public forums (mine was asshat by the way!)
13. We've all failed to pay taxes on our internet based
travel agency income.
14. We've all defaulted on our student loans from the state of New Jersey
15. We've all failed to pay self employment taxes for multiple years on income earned through our internet businesses.
16. We've all solicited cybersex from random DIS members.
17. We've all scammed the disability system by claiming to have a TBI that prevents us from remembering anything...but we're all capable of coordinating a photopass shop.
18. We all know someone who is having triplets and we've solicited donations for them (they left an abusive relationship and we felt bad for them). Of course didn't really care for the stuff donated so we sold it on ebay instead.
19. We've solicited money to take underprivileged kids to WDW...but we refuse to answer questions about it or post pics of the kids enjoying themselves at WDW.
20. We've all lived imaginary lives of luxury jetsetting around the world staying in first class accommodations while carrying our non-knock off designer handbag that we left the tags on so everyone could see how much it cost and waxing poetic about it for anyone who would listen.
21. We all share photopass cds for all of our vacations despite very clear responses from Disney that this is a clear violation of their terms.
22. We all bring teenage boys into the ladies room with us. Once they are in there we begin shouting at anyone who looks at us funny that we have a right to bring 14 year old Johnny in with us because we don't know what dangers are lurking in the mens room!
23. We've all stolen pictures of strangers and created a fictional life for ourselves by pretending to be those people. We were even planning to marry them off in a delightfully tacky High School Musical themed wedding!
24. We've all been phone sex operators and we all openly admit to being swingers! WOO HOO! Party at Pete's house! Who is bringing the pudding?
25. We are all ex-gang members who grew up in an apartment with a door man but it was in a bad neighborhood where we were stationed as a lookout to make sure our mother didn't get jumped on the way to the subway.
26. We all loathe public school teachers. Those *****es can do nothing right!
27. We're all homophobes.
28. We're all racists.
29. We're all staunch conservatives.
30. We're all bleeding heart liberals.
31. There are good things too, none of us have any debt
32. We all have gifted children
33. We all have overly generous relatives who lavish
Disney vacations upon us (yet they don't seem to notice that we are drowning in debt? Odd, that, isn't it?)
34. We even have generous babysitters who send us on lavish Disney vacations
35. We can all feed our families on less than 14 cents a day! Veggies? Fruits? HA! We don't need no stinkin' fruits and veggies! Those are for sissies! Besides, the preservatives in the chuckwagon will keep our bodies from deteriorating as we get older!
Only time I enjoy Ironing!!!
