Master's degree...am I wrong to be put out?

[arminnie]

Praise is too easily distributed and entirely over-rated. Like that high school popularity that so many crave, it is fleeting and carries no real reward. Your reward is the position that you have earned. Keep up the good work.

Good advice!

I didn't send out any announcements for undergrad or grad - but my mother did have it put in the newspaper with my picture and all of the honors I'd received. It was a metro area of about 200,000 people and the paper covered the entire state - I think about 99% of the people who saw that had never heard of me - if they even read the article. It made my mother happy so I lived through the embarrassment of it.

 

[kinntj]

I didn't even send out announcements when I graduated undergrad or grad school. I figured that the people that I really cared about knew I was graduating anyway. I find those announcements to be more about 'hey send me a gift' than 'hey look what I achieved'.

IMO, it's more tacky to assume it's a money grab or send me a gift announcement, then to send the announcement in the first place. To me, the receiver with these thoughts are consumed by themselves that they can't be happy about the occasion being announced. Why assume?

@Bama-asking siblings and grandparents to send a positive response in any way isn't the same thing to me as trying to get validation from peers in high school. It doesn't matter what the responses are here, I'm assuming she knows her family more than we do.

 

[Minnie]

Same here... I told my parents about a year after I graduated. My mother just non-chalantly asked, and I told her I earned it a year prior. Even though it is a great achievement to earn a masters degree, I'm not going to advertise and gloat about it. Being humble is the best way to go about your education. Many people are put off by those who gloat about your degrees.

I consider my parents "immediate family" as an only child it is just us and my DS. My mom is my BFF and I wouldn't be in the position I am today without the efforts of my parents. I will be eternally grateful for all of their support

A whole lot of work goes into being successful at difficult endeavors. And those that chose a different path often don't care to hear about higher education especially masters or doctorates. That is the very reason that I chose only to inform those closest to me.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

...@Bama-asking siblings and grandparents to send a positive response in any way isn't the same thing to me as trying to get validation from peers in high school. It doesn't matter what the responses are here, I'm assuming she knows her family more than we do.

I am sorry that this is all that you got out of that post.

 

[kinntj]

I am sorry that this is all that you got out of that post.

No. I thought your reponse was very postive and I do agree with it's message. I just commented on a small portion of it because although I do agree that a lot of people want validation and a pat on the back for every little stinkin' thing, the OP just wanted something back from her close family members. Even though praise from others is fleeting, it's sometimes nice to have.

 

[december]

Good advice!

I didn't send out any announcements for undergrad or grad - but my mother did have it put in the newspaper with my picture and all of the honors I'd received. It was a metro area of about 200,000 people and the paper covered the entire state - I think about 99% of the people who saw that had never heard of me - if they even read the article. It made my mother happy so I lived through the embarrassment of it.

My college sent announcements to the local papers, so my information was in our little small town newspaper. Several people did congratulate me when they saw me.

 

[sparklynails23]

From the teacher's qualification website.

Just because you didn't personally receive any announcements does not make is uncommon, it just makes it uncommon in your circle. Stating you would never do such a thing is extremely judgmental and rude. She did.

The non-response of the OP's close family and friends indicates that the practice may be uncommon in their circles also.

 

[daisyduck123]

I didn't even send out announcements when I graduated undergrad or grad school. I figured that the people that I really cared about knew I was graduating anyway. I find those announcements to be more about 'hey send me a gift' than 'hey look what I achieved'.

My sentiments exactly.

DD16 will be graduating in June. Orders for the announcements were due last week. We didn't order any.

 

[aprilgail2]

I view that as a personal accomplishment, not something that I need to send something for.

Congrats, but I didn't know people actually sent out an announcement that they graduated with their Master's Degree. I have been with dh thorugh his Master's and his PhD, he never announced it, but family was aware and congratulated him (no gifts). I have also had a number of family and friends with Master Degree's or higher who never officially announced it. I'm sorry, I just find that odd

Not only would I not send out an announcement if I got a Master's, if I did, I wouldn't expect gifts or cards.

I would never send an announcement for any graduation unless I were having a party. It just looks like you're begging for a gift.

 

[daisyduck123]

Not only would I not send out an announcement if I got a Master's, if I did, I wouldn't expect gifts or cards.

I didn't send out any announcements when I received my Master's. Heck, I didn't even attend the graduation ceremony. I didn't want to subject my family to sitting through a long, boring ceremony.

 

[MM27]

IMO, it's more tacky to assume it's a money grab or send me a gift announcement, then to send the announcement in the first place. To me, the receiver with these thoughts are consumed by themselves that they can't be happy about the occasion being announced. Why assume?

Because the people that you are really close to would know about a graduation without sending out an announcement. If they're not that close, why would they care?

Getting a master's degree should be about improving yourself. It shouldn't be done for the recognition you get from others.

 

[3 MEN AND A BOAT]

I believe the whole idea of announcing something has become tacky with very few exceptions; weddings, baby, or bridal showers, etc. these are things were people ARE EXPECTING a gift or attendance and this is common/or understood that we are asking a person to celebrate with us and they will need the time/place info. because my thinking is that any announcment is looking for some kind of response, whether it's a pat on the back, a gift, a card, or attendance to something. all of these are things/time given by a person to the announcer and therefore qualify to me as a gift of sort.

people have the right to send an announcment for whatever they feel, but don't get put-off if I choose to ignore it.

Paul

 

[goofy!]

...because although I do agree that a lot of people want validation and a pat on the back for every little stinkin' thing, the OP just wanted something back from her close family members. Even though praise from others is fleeting, it's sometimes nice to have.

Thanks for the congratulations, I'm glad there are people out there who do understand. My master's is in Management/Human Resources. I went back to school for the sole purpose of qualifying for the WDW College Program and Professional Internships, both of which I completed and that transitioned into a management role at WDW. I celebrate my 2nd year (but only my 1st anniversary as school programs don't count) on January 10th. I worked REALLY HARD, working 50-60 hours per week while homeschooling 2 kids and grad school full-time, so some kind of nod from the fam would have been nice.

We are card senders, so that's why I'm so surprised. Not so much gifts, but definitely cards. My grandmothers are what really surprised/hurt me the most. I'm also a scrapbooker and had hoped to have some cards to add to the memories, but I guess I won't bother. I live 1,000 miles away from everyone and opted not to walk as I was online and didn't know anyone at my campus. I decided to take DDs to MNSSHP instead and wore my regalia as my costume. It was great fun and the perfect ending to my college career, I'd have just appreciated a little atta-girl from the people who are supposed to care about me the most.

The OP sent out the announcements "definitely" expecting cards in return, not just congrats from her family.

First of all, Congrats on earning your degree. Just like many things adults undertake, earning your degree is hard work and you should feel proud of yourself.

However, we are also in the circle of thinking it would be unusual to receive a masters announcement. Most of my relatives have masters, PhD's, JD's o something of that effect. And I have A LOT of relatives. Nobody has ever sent out an announcement for grad work.

Neither have any of our friends. And we apparently now live in the supposedly "smartest" city in the nation - or so some poll pronounced this past month. Needless to say, everybody I know has a masters and above and nobody has ever sent out announcements.

There are many reasons I can think of why the relatives did not respond the way the OP expected them to:

1) OP said that she was the first and education is highly valued in her family. Thus, her relatives that are not so educated may have been feeling a bit bad about themselves and even though it was not the OP's intent, may have felt that the OP was rubbing their noses in the fact that she now had that degree and they didn't in this family who highly values degrees. As others have said, if they were close family as the OP says they are, they already knew about her accomplishment. A physical announcement on top of this might have been seen (again probably not the OP's intent) as a bit of gloating.

2) Many accomplishments in adult life take hard work, so the majority of adults I know see upper level degrees in the same vein as any other adult accomplishment. How about the spouses of the ones getting those degrees, do they get a card for holding the family together while the spouse sits behind the study door prepping for the next exam? How about the parent working 2 jobs to make ends meet - do they get a card when they pay off their debts? How about the adult who works numerous hours, taking on extra projects at work and finally earns the recognition he deserves within the company with a promotion - do they get a card? All take equal hard work and much sacrifice to accomplish. There are so many things adults do that take hard work and sacrifice, that many feel that getting a Masters is just another one of those personal achievements.

3)The OP said she went back to school specifically to obtain a promotion at work. Her class work was geared solely to this promotion. While it shouldn't take away from her accomplishment, this can be viewed more as job development than a typical Masters degree where the recipient now has the tools to go out in the world to better themselves. The OP already had the job, just needed the education for a promotion. I work in an industry where every has to have at least an undergrad. You go back to school to earn that masters to move up the pay scale ladder. It is not seen as any major life accomplishment, just job development to better your current job. Much like the OP went back to school to better her current job. Again, it shouldn't take away from the significance of achievement, but it really can be seen as just another step needed to improve your job situation, just like some might do lots of hours of overtime to be recognized.

OP - be proud of yourself. That is what is most important. The scrapbooks out of hoped for cards are really unimportant in the long run. It is what you accomplished and what you went through to accomplish it that you should internalize. Know that you can now always look back and say "I Did It" when a future task looks daunting. You now know you have the strength and determination to accomplish anything you put your mind to in the future.

And you have that piece of paper to frame to always remind you

 

[islandmum]

No one is saying that it is easy, but who are the ones that should provide recognition? I am sure that you and your co-worker are working hard but it is for your benefit, not your relatives, friends and society as a whole.

I see sending announcements as nothing more than a gift or attention grab. Celebrate with your immediate family and let it go. Let's face it, your degree, my law degree, and your friend's doctorate aren't all that impressive to some and it is not incumbent on them to recognize personal achievements of others. It is great if some want to offer recognition, but I cannot hold it against those that do not.

spot on

its not "protocol" to send announcements for graduations, its just become a habit with some areas, and not one that really, IMO, is worth doing.

Celebrating a new life, wedding, yes ...... passing tests you sat - sending out that announcement just smacks of "TELL ME HOW FABULOUS I AM, I NEED THAT ATTNETION!"

 

[kinntj]

So what if she wanted cards. Her family is use to sending cards.

Some of your families don't do things this way. That's the way everyone should live? Thank goodness she didn't send anyone here announcements.

I'm surprised anyone sends any kind of announcments any more. You better be careful not to hurt anyone's feelings. No baby announcements for those who have had infertility issues, no wedding announcements for those who are still single, no graduation announcements because that's gloating while none of the other announcements are doing the same? Too PC for me.

I do think the OP is proud of her own accomplishments. I too think that "put out" is a little on the extreme side, but she can't help how she feels.

I wish the very best to the OP and her future with WDW. I'm out.

 

[kinntj]

spot on

its not "protocol" to send announcements for graduations, its just become a habit with some areas, and not one that really, IMO, is worth doing.

Celebrating a new life, wedding, yes ...... passing tests you sat - sending out that announcement just smacks of "TELL ME HOW FABULOUS I AM, I NEED THAT ATTNETION!"

Sorry you feel that way.

 

[kinntj]

The non-response of the OP's close family and friends indicates that the practice may be uncommon in their circles also.

You can only assume, but it doesn't make it so.

 

[graygables]

Maybe I should have included that I certainly get graduation announcements from everyone in my family, cousins, nieces, nephews from high school and college which is why I didn't consider it a faux pas. I Googled before I sent them to check etiquette and not once did I see a reference to sending them being out of the ordinary or tacky.

I'm still quite taken aback at people who think it's unusual as I thought it was SOP upon graduation. Maybe that's because the regalia company was trying to get me to order announcements from them, maybe it's because I'm just so used to seeing announcements from everyone else and their dog.

I'm officially NOT "put out" after reading all the responses. I really had no idea that it was not "done".

 

[goofy!]

Maybe I should have included that I certainly get graduation announcements from everyone in my family, cousins, nieces, nephews from high school and college .

Perhaps I misunderstood, but I thought you said part of the significance of your achievement was that you were the first in your family to accomplish this. So, how can you also be inundated with college graduation announcements from the rest of the family?

If you have a significant number of family members with undergrad degrees, sometimes the significance of a masters is watered down, as it is just seen as the next step that many are heading towards. In other words, you are part of the group and not something special.

Is it right? Probably not.

 

[graygables]

Perhaps I misunderstood, but I thought you said part of the significance of your achievement was that you were the first in your family to accomplish this. So, how can you also be inundated with college graduation announcements from the rest of the family?

If you have a significant number of family members with undergrad degrees, sometimes the significance of a masters is watered down, as it is just seen as the next step that many are heading towards. In other words, you are part of the group and not something special.

Is it right? Probably not.

I am the first to get a Master's, not the first to graduate from college. It was made a big deal of when I got my B.A. at 28yo as a single mom, partly b/c I was the first woman in my family to graduate, partly b/c of the circumstances. Grad school is certainly not an expectation and no one else in the family seems to be heading that direction at this point. FWIW, I did not say that everyone in my family has graduated from college, just that I did receive announcements when those who did finished.