Marrieds choosing not to have kids

[Prinny27]

I, too, heard the "you'll change your mind, it's different when it's your own, and your biological clock will kick in". I'm 54 years old, been married for 28 years and we haven't changed our minds nor do we have regrets. You should think about being a parent and make a decision. Oh, my favorite one? Who will take care of you when you are old? Like having children is a guarantee of being take care of when you get old!

DH and I were at a wedding this weekend and were talking to a couple that DH used to work with. Both us and the other couple are recently married and they asked when we were going to have kids. When we said we didn't want any they said, 'So you're just going to be married and that's IT!?!' So I said, 'what do you mean that's 'it'? That's FABULOUS!' It was like they were implying that they couldn't imagine being 'stuck' with just each other for the rest of their lives. Then the wife asked, 'well, who will take care of you when you get old?' To which I replied that that had to be the most selfish reason to ever want to have children. Not because I actually WANTED them, but because I need someone to look after me in my old age. Nevermind that it's no guarantee your kids will take care of you - they may live far away, they may not get along with you, or God forbid, you may outlive them.

That shut that couple up very quickly!!!

 

[TXTurtles]

Yesterday morning was spent watching two boys who were just a continual fight to even control. At least in this case I know it's not fully the parents' fault - they really do a fantastic job of raising and disciplining these two ... creative ... kids. But it had been a rough week with the mom flying in and out of town for business stuff and their schedules were all out of whack. And they don't do well with out-of-whack schedules. One of the boys started amusing himself with eating paper and, in the end, I figured it's nontoxic and he was FINALLY not bothering others so ... well, he got a snack.

Afternoon was spent at an adult lunch party (nothing formal, just frozen lasagna at a friend's house) where one friend invited her friend and her family. Two ~10 year olds who were COMPLETELY out of control. I can handle a lot of kid behavior but I WILL NOT let a kid come up to me and order me to move because he wants my spot. Or interrupt my conversation to say this. I've also got something against kids pouring Code Red on light switches - but maybe that's just me.

Everyone was very relieved when they left early.

And today I am very, very, very thankful to be child-free.

 

[PrincessKitty1]

I, too, heard the "you'll change your mind, it's different when it's your own, and your biological clock will kick in". I'm 54 years old, been married for 28 years and we haven't changed our minds nor do we have regrets. You should think about being a parent and make a decision. Oh, my favorite one? Who will take care of you when you are old? Like having children is a guarantee of being take care of when you get old!

I'm 51....any so far we have me, Donald&Tinkerbell, and Hixsi in our age group...any lurkers out there who are our age and also never changed their minds??

 

[maddhatir]

I'm 51....any so far we have me, Donald&Tinkerbell, and Hixsi in our age group...any lurkers out there who are our age and also never changed their minds??

I am 43 and DH is 41- We are not 50 however, I would have to say- my "childbearing" years would be WELL past me now! So I think we would be in the same boat....and in the clear!

I agree with Hix- no clock ticking in THIS body! Never has, never will

OMG and Hix how about that new phrase we heard last week! "Toddler friendly" I did not want to bring that bit of craziness over to here in the middle of it all, but now that it has died down.......we can comment about it!

The Party City paper is not TODDLER FRIENDLY

 

[Shyvioletisme]

OMG and Hix how about that new phrase we heard last week! "Toddler friendly" I did not want to bring that bit of craziness over to here in the middle of it all, but now that it has died down.......we can comment about it!

The Party City paper is not TODDLER FRIENDLY

I was bothered by that...since when did ads need to be toddler friendly...or the holiday of Halloween for that matter? Some people just confuse me.

 

[TXTurtles]

OMG and Hix how about that new phrase we heard last week! "Toddler friendly" I did not want to bring that bit of craziness over to here in the middle of it all, but now that it has died down.......we can comment about it!

The Party City paper is not TODDLER FRIENDLY

Ok, I'm missing a joke here and it sounds like a good one! Share please?

I just can't get my head around what "toddler friendly" would mean unless it includes bright colors and blunt edges...

 

[honugirl]

I almost died when I read that. Toddler friendly? Since when do toddlers go shopping for themselves? Last time I checked all my friends with kids do the shopping themselves... Some parents are so weird!

My clock has never ticked and if it 'aint broke don't fix it so to speak. Ha ha ha ha. Like my life is any less enriched because I don't have drool and spit up all over myself?

 

[Hixski]

Ok, I'm missing a joke here and it sounds like a good one! Share please?

I just can't get my head around what "toddler friendly" would mean unless it includes bright colors and blunt edges...

There was someone posting that the Party City ads showed Halloween stuff for adults and were not "toddler friendly". There was a lot more craziness about Halloween but that is the crux of the joke. Madd was just posting about PC gone wild and the craziness began.

 

[Markstudy]

I am 43 and DH is 41-

Wow same age as my wife and myself.

We got back from Disney last week. We had a little problem....they wouldn't let my wife into Jelly Rolls at the BoardWalk because we didn't bring our picture ID and when they asked her birthday she said she was 43 and they didn't believe her.... I leaned in and said "we don't have kids"... they laughed and let us both in

I took a lot of fun photos but I noticed that my wife always has a nice peaceful look on her face. The folks we joined for diner that night had kids...their faces looked more serious... I never would have thought about it, but I was thinking like a photographer, and I told my wife- you know that look you always have on your face? Its the "look" of not having kids

We are enjoying our lifestyle Age is not a number....its a state of mind

 

[TKDisneylover]

Just a lurker popping in.....

I'm 51....any so far we have me, Donald&Tinkerbell, and Hixsi in our age group...any lurkers out there who are our age and also never changed their minds??

I am 43 & DH is 42, we've been together for 26 years now(dated 6/married 20) and have never changed our minds. It's funny how many people are amazed when they hear how much fun DH & I have, and we "don't have kids?!" We always get comments like, you guys must really be soul mates or kids at heart, as if there is no fun when your "just a couple" with no kids! I love it!

Wow same age as my wife and myself.

We got back from Disney last week. We had a little problem....they wouldn't let my wife into Jelly Rolls at the BoardWalk because we didn't bring our picture ID and when they asked her birthday she said she was 43 and they didn't believe her.... I leaned in and said "we don't have kids"... they laughed and let us both in I took a lot of fun photos but I noticed that my wife always has a nice peaceful look on her face. The folks we joined for diner that night had kids...their faces looked more serious... I never would have thought about it, but I was thinking like a photographer, and I told my wife- you know that look you always have on your face? Its the "look" of not having kids We are enjoying our lifestyle Age is not a number....its a state of mind

Same ages here, and your wife is gorgeous by the way! And your right, she has the "look" of not having kids, very peaceful. I have to say it definitely keeps that look of aging at bay. I'm always glad when people in their 20's & 30's guess our ages in the low to mid 30's, could we possibly look 10 years younger because we chose not to have children and get all stressed out because it's what we were "supposed to do?!"

Have a magical day everyone!

 

[maddhatir]

Wow same age as my wife and myself.

I never would have thought about it, but I was thinking like a photographer, and I told my wife- you know that look you always have on your face? Its the "look" of not having kids

We are enjoying our lifestyle Age is not a number....its a state of mind

Your wife is adorable! And I agree! (SOME- ok a lot!) of people with kids have that confused look on their faces And I think kids make your hair prematurely gray

I absolutely agree that most people without kids look more refreshed and younger than they really are!

 

[Jenngoofys]

First Off I have a child Secondly I would not trade her for the world now that I have her. However I admire all of you for choosing not to have children and live your own lives how you choose not how others think you should. I love my daughter she is almost 7 but I can see how much having a child has changed our lives, some good some bad. I can definetly see the appeal of not having children and enjoying each others company, being able to travel more, so much more time for each other. I know I miss those days alot. I can see both sides of the coin and honestly both have their high points So just wanted to say I think you all deserve more support in your choice Not easy when so many think you should do what they think you should. LOL

Goofy

 

[ChisJo]

good day everyone....i wanted to say that today seems like it's going to be a toddler friendly day! Sorry - just couldn't help myself...

where were you all so lucky to meet a mate/significant other who shared your desire to not have children?

 

[PrincessKitty1]

OK, it looks like a fair number of over-40s on this thread! Not that being under 40 is a bad thing , it's just that hearing all my life that I would change my mind <sigh>, it's great to meet other over-40s who didn't change their minds, either!

Re: meeting my husband, I was out at a restaurant with a girlfriend and a guy we both knew from work walked in with my future DH. We invited them to sit with us and that was that....we have been together over 21 years (I was 29 and DH was 31 when we met).

When DH and I talked about having children when we first fell in love, I said I didn't want children but I would CONSIDER having a child if he really wanted one. He said he didn't want children but would CONSIDER having one if I really wanted one. We both breathed a great sigh of relief and that was that. We did revisit the idea of having children when I was in my late 30s, and decided we still didn't want kids.

If I was single now, I think I would be looking online at Match.com or whatever....I never particularly liked dating but LOVE being in a relationship.

 

[maddhatir]

good day everyone....i wanted to say that today seems like it's going to be a toddler friendly day! Sorry - just couldn't help myself...

OMG! For some reason when I saw this- I thought of the "Terror Alert" chart!

Looks like a "toddler friendly" day- we are going to RAISE the threat level to RED for all CF people!

 

[maddhatir]

Not easy when so many think you should do what they think you should. LOL

Goofy

Just say NO to "them"

 

[zima-cheryl]

I am 43 and DH is 41- We are not 50 however, I would have to say- my "childbearing" years would be WELL past me now! So I think we would be in the same boat....and in the clear!

Recently turned 38 & I have to agree those years have passed. I may still be young at heart (even got proofed @ the packy the other day!) but I know physically I couldn't do every day what I see my sister in-law-doing.

Plus my doctor told me when I went in to be "fixed" that come age 40 she would have really been pushing for us to do something - guess that is some magic # if you haven't had kids, you shouldn't start.

I prefer just being the Chief Aunt in Charge of Silly Stuff! If I had my own kids I couldn't do half of what I do for my nieces & nephews. And I honestly believe I'm really contributing something unique & special to their lives.

 

[honugirl]

It's only 3:30 am here this morning, but I was just checking to see what the "toddler friendlyness" of today was? Any idea? Just trying to gauge if I should stay inside all day or not... Ha ha ha ha

 

[maddhatir]

It's only 3:30 am here this morning, but I was just checking to see what the "toddler friendlyness" of today was? Any idea? Just trying to gauge if I should stay inside all day or not... Ha ha ha ha

At 3:30AM- you should be good to go!

Now today- I would certainly check AC Moore craft store off your list- well, not just today- I would say any day! Not sure if it is like this around the country- but- every single time I go to this place- there are Kids in carts everywhere!

Weird, b/c I go to Jo~Ann fabrics- no kids- and Michaels- nothing! It is JUST AC Moore!

AC Moore MUST be "toddler friendly"

 

[Shyvioletisme]

At 3:30AM- you should be good to go!

Now today- I would certainly check AC Moore craft store off your list- well, not just today- I would say any day! Not sure if it is like this around the country- but- every single time I go to this place- there are Kids in carts everywhere!

Weird, b/c I go to Jo~Ann fabrics- no kids- and Michaels- nothing! It is JUST AC Moore!

AC Moore MUST be "toddler friendly"

well good thing we don't have an AC Moore! I'll just stick with Joann's and be kid free and happy!

Btw, as to how I met my DH:
We actually met online. Not on any service, just through AOL. He IMed me about 6 and half years ago, cause he thought I had a cool profile. wanted to meet. I was dating someone and thought it wrong. Zoom forward almost a year and he IMed me again. I was single this time and thought what the heck. I'd meet up with him. we started dating right away and moved in together after a few months. We talked early on about kids and were both relieved to find out that neither of us liked kids at all and had no desire to have any..ever! So I was lucky!