Married ladies, I have a question, re:husbands

[hrh_disney_queen]

He's a big boy and he knows his own schedule better than me. I don't make any appointments for DH.

I do make my DH a sandwich every day (actually the day before). I am a SAHM, and he isn't fussy, so I just throw some lunchmeat on bread and stick into a baggie. No big deal to me. I don't know if I would do it if I was working. I would never pack for him. He does a better job than I do.

I take exclusive care of three people in this house, and part of the time for him, too. So yeah, I think I handle enough people's appointments.

 

[cheermom1]

LOL it must be the generation or something.

This is also a woman who told my sister (when she was having marital problems) that she needs to make sure she is bathed, has a dress and make-up on and smelling pretty when her husband get home from work. That is what a wife does to keep the marriage going. Yeah, my sister is going to run home from work, take care of her 3 kids and make sure she is clean and smells pretty for her husband when he gets home! Sometimes I don't know if I should laugh or cry when my mom has marital advice.

Kristine

I know sometimes I wonder how I turned out the way I did. She told my sister when she was in school to cut hair that she needs to quit once she found out she was preggo. Why? B/c the man is supposed to take care of you and you are to stay home. I tried to talk to her about it and told her that even the best of marriages something could happen she needs something to fall back on. i told her the story about a woman that had 4 kids and always stayed home and she had a wonderful dh that made more then enough money but he was in an accident and poof her life was never the same financially b/c she didn't have anything to fall back on. BUT my mom got to my sis and she quit and is now doing nothing, makes me so sad.

 

[livie1205]

I make all his appointments. As the "homemaker", I run the household and know exactly what is going on and when, plus, I feel that as the wife and mother it is my duty to see that everyone in my household is fed, watered, and up to date on shots and medical care. I run a tight ship!

Seriously though, I don't know if it's b/c of my type A personality or just my deep southern roots that gives me this sense of "duty" but it's there none the less, and I don't mind it at all, it makes me feel good to know that I am taking care of my family. I make sure we all see the dentist every six months, have physicals every year, eye's checked every year, skin checked every year, vaccinations on time, etc.

DH and I are a team. He gets up at 4:30 every morning, goes to work all day and bears the weight of supporting us financially without a single grievance or complaint, he takes care of the house and is a great husband and father... the least I can do is see that he doesn't have to worry about appointments/dishes/meals etc. when he gets home. I take care of things on the home front (and I get to sleep in ) and never have to worry about bosses, deadlines, and bringing home the bacon plus I get lots of time to pursue my own interests and hobbies. The way we work is old-fashioned, and it's not for everyone, but it works for us and we're happier than pigs in slop! I wish there were an emoticon for that....

THIS is us I make all the appts. in the house,take care of all the bills (he makes the money) the drs even call ME with his appt reminders and with his test results! lol They know he will not do it and when he was late getting his bloodwork done the nurse called me to get him to take care of it! He is a cop so at work he HAS to me all man and on top of everything so he likes that when he is at home I take care of things.He IS also a grown man but knows he has me to take care of him the way he takes care of all of us.

 

[ilovejack02]

LOL it must be the generation or something.

This is also a woman who told my sister (when she was having marital problems) that she needs to make sure she is bathed, has a dress and make-up on and smelling pretty when her husband get home from work. That is what a wife does to keep the marriage going. Yeah, my sister is going to run home from work, take care of her 3 kids and make sure she is clean and smells pretty for her husband when he gets home! Sometimes I don't know if I should laugh or cry when my mom has marital advice.

Kristine

I am a SAHM and I have to say it is easy to slip into the hanging out in pjs routine. If I don't have anywhere to go , I will stay in sweats all day. I figure hubby didn't marry that way and doesnt want to look at that all the time. I make an effort to have hair brushed, decent clothes and a bit of makeup on when he hits the door.

Is dinner cooked on the table , heck no, this isn't Leave it to Beaver lol, but I try to keep a neat house, have everyone's dinner ready at a decent hour and make sure he has leftovers for lunch the next day. I may or may not pack it, depends on what the kiddo has for homework etc.

I don't make Dh's appointments, unless I know that he is having a crazy week at work and can't call. In that case he will tell me what his schedule is before I call so I can make appt. when he is free.

I will pack his bags if he is going on a trip alone, but other than that he is on his own.

Speaking of which DH is going to walk in the door in a few, guess I better go put on some lipgloss and have his beer ready HAHA!

 

[tiggerlover]

It is about 50/50.

 

[AustinTink]

I make appointments for DH (dentist, doctor, hair), pack for DH and usually make his lunch. I'm a stay-home-mom and have more time around the house to do those things than he does. Doesn't bother me one bit.

Ditto.

 

[Tiana]

.

 

[Inigo]

I used to make his appointments, but one day I woke up. I told him that he's an adult, I'm not his mommy, I have a life and things I need to do for me and the children,I'm not his secretary and in charge of his schedule (since he never liked the appointment times I arranged), and it's time he learn to use a telephone.

Now, when he complains about needing an appointment, expecting me to just give in and do it, I just look at him.

He has never called and made an appointment for me, even when I've asked. He wouldn't make appointments for the kids, nothing.

Yes, he pouted for a while, and still does sometimes, but he needed a wake up call to realize that adults do those things for themselves.

 

[Ceila]

I don't make my husband's apointments because I never know what his schedule at work is like, and I'd end up making it for the same time as something he couldn't get out of. I wouldn't mind doing it, it just would be a scheduling nihtmare, lol. I make all the appointments for the kids because I'm the one with the schedule that allows me to take them to everything.

If I'm making my lunch, I'll make one for him, too. I even put coffee on for him if I'm up first, even though I don't drink the stuff.

I don't pack for him, because I already pack for three people (although the kids need less and less supervision for that task now that they're older) and I don't always know which clothes he'd like. Sometimes if he's short on time and we're trying to leave as soon as he gets home from work he'll ask me to throw his things together, which I'm happy to do. In that case I'll ask him specifically what clothes he wants so I don't miss anything.

I don't really get those on here who say they don't make appointments because their DH "is an adult" or because they're "not his mother." It implies that those whp help their husbands out by making appointments are mothering their husbands. I just think that different things work for different couples. For some, it might be that one person makes the majority of the appointments. For us, there are things I do for DH and he'll do for me, and that works for us (it just so happens that me making appointments for him doesn't work for us).

I just don't understand putting others down for something so minor as helping make appointments. I'm sure that you do other things for your husbands that he could do for himself, but I'd never say you were mothering him because of it.

 

[Lucky4me]

Before his brain cancer, he did everything on his own. Since cancer, I am his advocate, administrative assistant, medical translator and anything else he needs me to be. And I'm thrilled to do it.

 

[MichelleVW]

No way am I making appointments for my husband, he is a grown man who is quite capable of doing it himself.

I don't pack for him either, heck I stopped packing for my girls when they were about 7 and 9.

 

[SCHBR'smom]

I make all his appointments. As the "homemaker", I run the household and know exactly what is going on and when, plus, I feel that as the wife and mother it is my duty to see that everyone in my household is fed, watered, and up to date on shots and medical care. I run a tight ship!

Seriously though, I don't know if it's b/c of my type A personality or just my deep southern roots that gives me this sense of "duty" but it's there none the less, and I don't mind it at all, it makes me feel good to know that I am taking care of my family. I make sure we all see the dentist every six months, have physicals every year, eye's checked every year, skin checked every year, vaccinations on time, etc.

DH and I are a team. He gets up at 4:30 every morning, goes to work all day and bears the weight of supporting us financially without a single grievance or complaint, he takes care of the house and is a great husband and father... the least I can do is see that he doesn't have to worry about appointments/dishes/meals etc. when he gets home. I take care of things on the home front (and I get to sleep in ) and never have to worry about bosses, deadlines, and bringing home the bacon plus I get lots of time to pursue my own interests and hobbies. The way we work is old-fashioned, and it's not for everyone, but it works for us and we're happier than pigs in slop! I wish there were an emoticon for that....

This works for us, too.

DH prefers that I make his appts. While filling out paperwork, if I'm not with him, he's on the phone with me asking questions. I am the keeper of information.

We are both completely capable of filling any role in the household, but we've found the ways that work best for us. We rely on each other, and we work together perfectly.

 

[SOnotLayuh]

If I don't make them he won't go.. he will always forget!

 

[shinysparklybubbles]

I make all apts. I handle the scheduling in our family lol. For starters DH would never go if I didn't make apts, and this way I don't have to worry about things not being put on the calendar or double scheduling.

 

[caribear]

If I didn't make DH's dentist appointments he would never see a dentist. I fight him tooth and nail just to go. If he is sick then he makes his own appointment.....