MAN, 43, WATCHED NEW ABC SERIES
Nationwide Manhunt on for Lone Viewer of Push, Nevada
A 43-year-old man watched the new ABC drama Push, Nevada last week, making him the only person in the country to have done so, the network revealed today.
With a total viewership of just one person, Push, Nevada is believed to be the lowest-rated program in television history, but network officials today attempted to put the best face on the new dramas lackluster Nielsen performance.
While we are somewhat disappointed that only one viewer watched the premiere of Push, Nevada, we are encouraged that he fell into the 18-to-49 demographic group most desired by advertisers, a network spokesman said.
ABC refused to divulge the name and location of Push, Nevadas lone viewer, but released a brief statement from the 43-year-old mystery man.
In it, the man indicated that he thought the program was okay, but remained noncommittal about his intentions of watching it again this week.
It really depends on what else Ive got going on, the 43-year-old man said.
In an attempt to make the best of a difficult situation, ratings-parched ABC announced today that it would produce a new reality show in which contestants will attempt to find the lone viewer of Push, Nevada.
The person who locates the mysterious viewer will win $1 million in cash and the chance to be president of ABC Entertainment for the 2002-3 television season.
In addition to that new reality program, ABC today said it was bullish about two upcoming entertainment offerings on their fall schedule: a family sitcom starring former O.J. Simpson houseguest Brian Kato Kaelin, and a game show based on the popular dice game Yahtzee.
*****Borowitz Reports***
Nationwide Manhunt on for Lone Viewer of Push, Nevada
A 43-year-old man watched the new ABC drama Push, Nevada last week, making him the only person in the country to have done so, the network revealed today.
With a total viewership of just one person, Push, Nevada is believed to be the lowest-rated program in television history, but network officials today attempted to put the best face on the new dramas lackluster Nielsen performance.
While we are somewhat disappointed that only one viewer watched the premiere of Push, Nevada, we are encouraged that he fell into the 18-to-49 demographic group most desired by advertisers, a network spokesman said.
ABC refused to divulge the name and location of Push, Nevadas lone viewer, but released a brief statement from the 43-year-old mystery man.
In it, the man indicated that he thought the program was okay, but remained noncommittal about his intentions of watching it again this week.
It really depends on what else Ive got going on, the 43-year-old man said.
In an attempt to make the best of a difficult situation, ratings-parched ABC announced today that it would produce a new reality show in which contestants will attempt to find the lone viewer of Push, Nevada.
The person who locates the mysterious viewer will win $1 million in cash and the chance to be president of ABC Entertainment for the 2002-3 television season.
In addition to that new reality program, ABC today said it was bullish about two upcoming entertainment offerings on their fall schedule: a family sitcom starring former O.J. Simpson houseguest Brian Kato Kaelin, and a game show based on the popular dice game Yahtzee.
*****Borowitz Reports***
