Making my ring from my late-Aunt's solitaire...

[torsie24]

Right this is a little confusing so please stick with me!!

---

I am soon (hopefully) to be engaged, as some of you know my DBf and I had chosen a lovely ring from a well known UK jewellers.

But, I always wanted a family ring for my wedding/engagement as I think it means so much more.....

So - my very elderly grandmother had a stroke a couple of months back, and since then has developed pretty severe dementia, she doesnt really know where she is, or whats going on.

She's also lost a lot of weight, and has had to be put into a home.

All of her jewellery has been given to my mum, as her only daughter, and my mum wants me to have it all.

Now, one of the rings my Nan has been wearing for the last 10 years or so is her sisters engagement ring - a 0.5 carat solitaire, which is very beautiful.

I've been given this, along with my nans diamond solitaire engagement ring. I can't think of doing anything to my grandmothers ring, just incase her dementia miraculously clears and she asks where her ring is...

But do you think it's immoral of me to get my great aunts reset while my grandmother is still alive? (My great aunt passed away 10 years ago, and she never had children or grandchildren of her own, and really doted on me.)

Also, we went into the jeweller and asked about prices and styles yesterday, and i fell in love with a ring i could have my diamond turned into.....

...amazingly the exact figure was transferred into Jacks account today through a payment he has been owed for months!

Am I evil??? What would you do??

 

[dhay]

I would NOT do it....

 

[Angela0917]

Sorry, but I wouldn't do it either...

 

[MegKate]

Of course I don't think you're evil, but I wouldn't do it either. But that's just my opinion.

 

[Beep]

Hiya,

Firstly you are not evil.

If you really like the great aunts ring why have it reset? You said in your post it was gorgeous.

If it was me I would wear your great aunts ring, or grandmothers, as it is. My Nan gave me her wedding ring on her death bed (literally, she died 20 minutes later) and I used it to get married with. It is now on my right hand.

My Nan also gave me a diamond ring that I could have used as an engagement ring but, to be honest, I don't like the style. I didn't want it reset as I wanted to keep it in memory of her as everytime I look at it I think of her.

I had people say that it would have been a great to have it reset but it wasn't what I wanted to do.

Having had my other Nan with dementia she did have moments of clarity, even though they were clouded, and she did ask about possessions every now and then. Admitedly she asked the most about her false teeth rather than jewellery (!) but I think you would feel bad if you had the ring reset and your grandmother asked about it.

The other thing is it is not your grandmothers ring you are thinking of having reset, it is your great aunts and she is no longer with you. If it was definitley intended to be passed to you it is up to you what you do with it.

Good luck - let us know what you decide x

Oh, I meant to say. It might mean more to you to have a family engagement ring but what about your future husband? He might prefer to buy you one.

 

[torsie24]

Hiya,

Firstly you are not evil.

If you really like the great aunts ring why have it reset? You said in your post it was gorgeous.

If it was me I would wear your great aunts ring, or grandmothers, as it is. My Nan gave me her wedding ring on her death bed (literally, she died 20 minutes later) and I used it to get married with. It is now on my right hand.

My Nan also gave me a diamond ring that I could have used as an engagement ring but, to be honest, I don't like the style. I didn't want it reset as I wanted to keep it in memory of her as everytime I look at it I think of her.

I had people say that it would have been a great to have it reset but it wasn't what I wanted to do.

Having had my other Nan with dementia she did have moments of clarity, even though they were clouded, and she did ask about possessions every now and then. Admitedly she asked the most about her false teeth rather than jewellery (!) but I think you would feel bad if you had the ring reset and your grandmother asked about it.

The other thing is it is not your grandmothers ring you are thinking of having reset, it is your great aunts and she is no longer with you. If it was definitley intended to be passed to you it is up to you what you do with it.

Good luck - let us know what you decide x

Oh, I meant to say. It might mean more to you to have a family engagement ring but what about your future husband? He might prefer to buy you one.

Thank you for such a detailed answer.

My BF really wants me to get my aunts ring re-set, as he knows she was close with me and my mum, and that her death upset me quite a bit. She was like a second grandmother to me also.

I have been wearing her real engagement ring (she got the solitaire later in life when her husband had more money) for a long time, and I wouldn't dream of resetting that. It's so classic and beautiful. Just it is very old looking and the diamonds could fall out at any time.

Her solitaire ring isn't so beautiful in design, but the diamond is very clear and lovely, why I think it would be wonderful to have it reset and give it some new life.

I just wish I could ask my aunt about it!

 

[irisbud]

I agree that if it is your aunt's ring and definitely intended to be yours then you have the right to do with it as you like. Just be sure that you really know what you want to do, because you cannot undo what is done.

DF warned me on that point, as I inherited my Grandmother's wedding band. I debated making a new band out of it from the diamonds, but decided it would mean more to me to leave it as it was, even if it is not exactly what I would have chosen new. I got it cleaned, straightened, resized, and retipped and it looks great. I thought about removing one diamond and doing something else with it, but DF said once it was done, I couldn't take it back, and even if they returned it to the ring by redoing the band again, it wouldn't be the same. [ OT, but You mentioned you have an older ring you want to leave as is, you may think about having it retipped so you don't lose the diamonds. It was about $200 for mine for 6 diamonds. ]

If you and your aunt were close, she would probably have wanted you to do what makes you happy. You're taking the core of her ring and transforming it into something new, just like you recieved the core of her through her love and support of you and that helped to transform you into the person you are today

Amy

 

[lpizzuro123]

My mom passed away a little over three years ago and as an only child I got all her jewlery. My dad gave me most of it but honestly I said I did not want her ring at the time because he was keeping it in a safety deposit box and I felt it was safer there. My parents had been married for over 50 years and she had had it reset about 10 years ago and I did not like the new setting. When my DH and I got engaged I spoke to my dad and asked him what he thought of me taking my moms ring and taking out the diamond and having it reset in something else. He was fine with this and that is what I did. I still have the old setting with some small diamonds in it in my jewlery box but I used her main diamond in my engagement ring and it is exactially what I wanted. I used it as my something old for my wedding.

Here are two photos of my ring. The first is with one of my flowers and the second is with the mini-frame that I added to my bouquet.

Linda

 

[Beep]

Thank you for such a detailed answer.

My BF really wants me to get my aunts ring re-set, as he knows she was close with me and my mum, and that her death upset me quite a bit. She was like a second grandmother to me also.

I have been wearing her real engagement ring (she got the solitaire later in life when her husband had more money) for a long time, and I wouldn't dream of resetting that. It's so classic and beautiful. Just it is very old looking and the diamonds could fall out at any time.

Her solitaire ring isn't so beautiful in design, but the diamond is very clear and lovely, why I think it would be wonderful to have it reset and give it some new life.

I just wish I could ask my aunt about it!

I reckon your aunt would love it if you did what you wanted and had a ring that you loved. If you have her real engagement ring, and the solitaire, I would be tempted to reset the solitaire in a design I liked and keep the original, and maybe have it retipped so you don't lose the diamonds.

That way you have the best of both worlds

 

[Petals & Pixie Dust]

If DF is ok with this and this diamond is special to you-use it.
However, if DF is not fine with it...then that is another story. My DF would not use another diamond. He wanted his own. My mom has her mom's wedding band, and I would LOVE to use that...but DF veto'ed that too. He wants our set to be ours and no one else's. He made a point of explaining that he feels like we were taking someone's history and that our rings would have our own history. As silly as it sounds, he was right. Even picking out my ring was very us and we have our own story. He also reminded me that I'm my mother's only child, so I will inherit all of her jewelry anyway.

If you were that close with your aunt and want to use her ring, do it. You're not evil. You're commemorating someone that you love and hold in your heart.

 

[disprincessatheart]

From the first post I was going to say to go ahead and do it, and with more of the story I am even more convinced. You've got her original ring in tact, so take the solitare and use it in a new ring. Keep her original setting - a solitare CAN be put back just as it was if you decided to do that later in life. Especially since your BF is good with it too, I see no reason not to use that diamond.