Made CPS report/ update 47

[monkeybug]

You did the right thing! Even if it turns out that your friend was making the whole thing up (not saying that's the case, just saying if it were) you still did the right thing! As far as you are aware that baby has been put in dangerous situations and is not being properly cared for, and to not call would have been allowing that to continue. I had to pass along to an authority type figure that a mother had confided in me that she was unable to care for her child. CPS was called and the baby was temporarily placed until the father was able to be able to be back in the picture, and the mother got the help she needed. It broke my heart because the mother was a good person, and what she told me was supposed to be in confidence, but you can't allow a child to suffer because you feel bad for the parent or guilty for betraying their trust.
Giving a baby alcohol is extremely dangerous! You did the right thing!

 

[Disneylover79]

You deserve this hug as you did a great thing....your friend is very lucky to have you...please keep us posted...

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

JMHO but it would be best to keep such things off of internet message boards. It really doesn't matter what username you come up with, anybody familiar with the situation is going to recognize it on the DIS.

This is especially true if you will be helping her move to a confidential shelter situation and your DIS activity is traceable back to you somehow.

Agreed.

I would talk to the mods about purging this.

As you can see, we all pretty much agree with what you did.

I'd get this thread purged ASAP to protect everyone involved in your story.

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

If your story is accurate, I think you did the right thing.

ITA! No need to beat yourself up over this. I hope your friend and her baby can get to a safe place.

 

[monkeybug]

Agreed.

I would talk to the mods about purging this.

As you can see, we all pretty much agree with what you did.

I'd get this thread purged ASAP to protect everyone involved in your story.

Not to be annoying, but can someone explain to me how they would track her down from this post? I am honestly just curious.
I know you can figure out what area someone logs on from an IP address, but how would the family find this thread and then how would they find out what friend of the woman posted it?

 

[happygirl]

But how are they going to trace it back to her? Even if they got out of their drugged up stuper and decided to poke around for clues online what are they going to do? Google Woman flees abusive family? That would yield thousands or millions of sites, how would they possibly narrow it down? Especially to a site that most would think have to do with Disney vacations?
I know they can find someones IP address and figure out what area they live in, but they would have to find the post, figure out that this person was some how linked to the other woman, and then I'm pretty sure they still don't know an address or anything right?

The OP said this My username is traceable back to me and I don’t want that family knowing my involvement. (They heartily believe in revenge) This leads me to think someone close to both parties reads the Dis boards. I said the same thing on my post on page one.

 

[monkeybug]

The OP said this My username is traceable back to me and I don’t want that family knowing my involvement. (They heartily believe in revenge) This leads me to think someone close to both parties reads the Dis boards. I said the same thing on my post on page one.

Oh, when I read that I thought she was making that statement because she was posting under a new user name so that she could remain anonymous. I thought she was doing that (using a new username) just to be extra cautious, not because someone involved reads the Dis. If that is the case than I agree the post should be deleted.

 

[happygirl]

Oh, when I read that I thought she was making that statement because she was posting under a new user name so that she could remain anonymous. I thought she was doing that (using a new username) just to be extra cautious, not because someone involved reads the Dis. If that is the case than I agree the post should be deleted.

I really have no idea If that right or not. That just how I took it

 

[monkeybug]

Oh, when I read that I thought she was making that statement because she was posting under a new user name so that she could remain anonymous. I thought she was doing that (using a new username) just to be extra cautious, not because someone involved reads the Dis. If that is the case than I agree the post should be deleted.

I thought that was the reason her name was Et Tu Brute...you know when Ceaser realizes it was his supposed best friend that stabbed him in the back. I thought she chose that name because she felt bad reporting her friend. Was I wrong?

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Not to be annoying, but can someone explain to me how they would track her down from this post? I am honestly just curious.
I know you can figure out what area someone logs on from an IP address, but how would the family find this thread and then how would they find out what friend of the woman posted it?

If they were very inspired to prevent any further interference into their lives and if they are as bad as claimed..

nothing would probably stop them from stealing her computer to find information.

Not that this will happen or is even a consideration.

But there are ways and why risk it? It certainly is not an impossible task.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I thought that was the reason her name was Et Tu Brute...you know when Ceaser realizes it was his supposed best friend that stabbed him in the back. I thought she chose that name because she felt bad reporting her friend. Was I wrong?

I think she felt bad--b/c she was doing something wrong...and that her friend would be extremely upset.


Unfortunately, some victims of abuse or trauma--despite what is rational and correct--will respond irrationally to someone who literally is trying to save them. They blame the friend for making things worse and likely that is why she chose that name.

OP felt guilty when she had no reason to feel guilty since she did nothing wrong than to try and get the ball rolling to possibly save this woman and her baby's life. And clearly--when that is the case, you are not stabbing the person in the back.

That has nothing to do with the safety and security of herself, her family as well as the woman and baby--in making sure that the abusive family has no ability to track down that the OP is the one who "caused" the trouble (which is of course is irrational on their part).

 

[monkeybug]

If they were very inspired to prevent any further interference into their lives and if they are as bad as claimed..

nothing would probably stop them from stealing her computer to find information.

Not that this will happen or is even a consideration.

But there are ways and why risk it? It certainly is not an impossible task.

I'm sure your right, and it really doesn't hurt to be extra cautious, but how would they know whose computer to steal? And if they knew who had reported (enough to steal a computer) why would they be looking for evidence on the internet? They would already know who to exact revenge on.
I seriously don't mean to be a pest, I was just curious if there was a way I was unaware of for somebody to get your real name and home address from a posting you made on the Dis. I'm usually cautious about the type of info I post, but if that were the case it would be kinda' scary! Especially for people who post pics. of their kids or homes or that sort of thing.

 

[monkeybug]

I think she felt bad--b/c she was doing something wrong...and that her friend would be extremely upset.


Unfortunately, some victims of abuse or trauma--despite what is rational and correct--will respond irrationally to someone who literally is trying to save them. They blame the friend for making things worse and likely that is why she chose that name.

OP felt guilty when she had no reason to feel guilty since she did nothing wrong than to try and get the ball rolling to possibly save this woman and her baby's life. And clearly--when that is the case, you are not stabbing the person in the back.

That has nothing to do with the safety and security of herself, her family as well as the woman and baby--in making sure that the abusive family has no ability to track down that the OP is the one who "caused" the trouble (which is of course is irrational on their part).

Ummm...I was just saying I thought that she created a new account and chose the name Et Tu Brute because in Shakespeare that is what Ceaser say's to Brutus when he realizes that who he thought was his friend was plotting against him. I was guessing that this was her username because she (inappropriately) felt like she was Brutus and imagined her friend would feel like Ceaser.

I in no way think that she stabbed her friend in the back. Not at all! I was merely trying to explain why I thought the username had been created for this thread.

 

[usnuzuloose]

I am glad you stepped up to the plate to help. Not many people would. I wish I had someone standing with me when I was going through a difficult time. Keep encouraging her every step of the way. I am sure she will be scared to death, but if you are there for her it will be so much easier. Thanks for being responsible. Happy V Day!! Jo

 

[surfergirl602]

hugs to you!! I whole heartedly agree that you did the right thing. I really hope that your friend steps up to the task and gets the heck out of there.

 

[et_tu_brute]

Now I’m panicking.

After I re-convinced her to call the number last night, I found out that her husband has been threatening her and harassing her like crazy. But she said she would call right after she finished talking to me. She promised to call me back afterwards. Well, she didn’t call last night so I decided to call her this morning. (I figured she fell asleep) I called her phone and I got a message that either said this number, (123)456-7890 is no longer available or the person is not available. I couldn’t understand it. I treid her home phone which she uses only when her cell isn’t working (she knows my number by sight) but she didn’t pick up.
She told me last night that her parents would do whatever they could to stop her from leaving and her husband had somehow found out about her plans (some of them).
So now I am sitting here very, very worried.

I don’t want to go over there unless I absolutely have to because a) they have a long private driveway so I’d have to actually go on the property, b) they have several loaded guns, and c) I’m almost positive they know I’m somehow involved because her phone records have all been to or from me with a couple of the help lines. (plus, I’m her only friend with an out of county area code)

I don't know what to do!

Of course, I could be overreacting right? Maybe her phone died and she was too busy to check the house phone or doesn’t even realize her phone is dead. Right?

Please tell me I’m overreacting. Please!

 

[pat fan]

I haven't read the whole thread, but you could always call the police and explain the situation to them and ask them to do a wellness check. There aren't lights bkazing or anything, they just go and speak to her to make sure she is ok.

 

[AshleyW]

I haven't read the whole thread, but you could always call the police and explain the situation to them and ask them to do a wellness check. There aren't lights bkazing or anything, they just go and speak to her to make sure she is ok.

Agreed. I'd call the police and ask them to do a wellness check. They'll stop by the house and make sure everything is okay - especially if you let them know about the threats and the abuse. It could just be that her phone is dead, but at least then you would find out without putting yourself in any danger. I hope everything works out for your friend and her baby.

 

[et_tu_brute]

She called me back and was in an annoyed mood, a big contrast to her crying outbursts yesterday. She is back to her “it doesn’t matter” attitude and is annoyed at me for trying to get her to call ASAP.

I honestly don’t know why I bother.

she still hasn’t called. She says she’s been busy with chores. I guess she doesn’t realize that if she leaves she doesn’t need to worry about unfinished housework.

It seems to me that she is just making excuses to not call, so fine.
I no longer feel bad about making that report. If she won’t protect herself and her baby, I’ll try to help protect that poor little defenseless baby.
UGH!

Thank you everyone for your support.

And to those who were wondering, yes I was referencing Julius Caesar.

 

[luvsJack]

She called me back and was in an annoyed mood, a big contrast to her crying outbursts yesterday. She is back to her “it doesn’t matter” attitude and is annoyed at me for trying to get her to call ASAP.

I honestly don’t know why I bother.

she still hasn’t called. She says she’s been busy with chores. I guess she doesn’t realize that if she leaves she doesn’t need to worry about unfinished housework.

It seems to me that she is just making excuses to not call, so fine.
I no longer feel bad about making that report. If she won’t protect herself and her baby, I’ll try to help protect that poor little defenseless baby.
UGH!

Thank you everyone for your support.

And to those who were wondering, yes I was referencing Julius Caesar.

Its a really sad situation and I know you will still worry about your friend; but you can't help those who will not help themselves. She probably has some real mental issues with that much abuse going on and needs to come to the realization that she does not deserve what is happening to her.

All you can do at this point is help the baby and hope that CPS takes action. And on the flip side, the action they take may be the thing that wakes up your friend.