et_tu_brute
Earning My Ears
- Joined
- Feb 14, 2010
- Messages
- 6
Please dont tell me I shouldnt have done it, as its done and I cant undo it. I feel horrible enough as it is, I dont need someone telling me off.
If anyone can give me words of encouragement or tell me what to expect to happen, or even some sort of option for her I havent thought of, Id really appreciate it.
My username is traceable back to me and I dont want that family knowing my involvement. (They heartily believe in revenge)
My friend has been in a horrible situation for a very long time. Her parents are very verbal/emotionally abusive and have been (dont know if they still are) physically abusive towards her. She cooks, cleans, and otherwise waits on them hand and foot. (apparently neither of her parents can make a sandwich or pour a bowl of cereal for themselves
)
She got married (too fast) in order to get away from them. Financial problems caused the married couple to move back in with her parents. Her husband is very verbally/emotionally abusive to her and recently became physically abusive (Ill get to that in a moment). I have been trying to get her to get help for a while. (I cant call for her, I tried).
Her family does not respect her as a mom at all. They constantly criticize her and scream at her if she even takes a moment to herself. (ex: if she tries to take a shower, she is told that she is a bad mother)
. She has called me too many times feeling suicidal. I got her to see a psychologist but then her family called her crazy, refused to pay the co-pay and told her CPS would take her baby away from her.
She wants to get a job or go back to school, but her husband and parents wont let her get a job. They say theres no one to watch the baby. (They have her convinced any and all daycare workers are evil people who will kill her baby)
. Besides, they tell her, her baby needs her at home. (Though personally, I think they dont want to lose their personal slave.)
Her parents are down right dangerous to the child. They wont let her leave with him, but she doesnt want to leave him with them (for good reason). They have driven off with the baby before she came home (without a carseat and without telling her), given him alcohol because its funny gave him a bottle of chocolate milk (he was very sick for 3 days), left him completely alone, etc.
When she is around them, they yell at her to feed him ANY time he cries, so the poor baby is over 40lbs.
She does whatever her parents tell her because she believes she has to. She lets them have power over her.
He has regressed in several areas. He used to be a very talkative baby. He was almost talking very early and then... silence. No babbling, no noise, nothing. He also was very close to walking. He was furniture walking like a pro, now he doesnt even crawl. He does that army crawl? (on tip toes and fingertips)
This weekend, it finally erupted. She and her husband got into a physical fight. She is ok, a little banged up, but ok. She was going to call 911, but her husband threatened that if she called anyone, he would run with the baby. (where he is sill a citizen and has family. He also has a separate checking account which she recently discovered).
She called me a few hours later and I told her to take a picture of the gashes and any bruises or anything that might appear. (she would not go to the hospital) She also finally agreed to call a family services group. However, she did not tell them the whole story. She left out her parents completely, so they gave her an option which at face value sounds great (move out order and file for full custody), but is not. Her parents WILL NOT sit back and let her do this. (They side with the husband. Her mom goes as far to say its my friends fault her husband treats her this way) It is very possible that she could get hurt. (based on past events). It is also very possible that her husband will run with the child to another country as he has threatened this many times before
I talked to her today, and she is back to its no big deal type thinking. She is incredibly depressed and feels trapped.
I am worried about her, but especially about the baby.
I hung up and honestly debated whether or not to call Child Protective Services. Instead, I called the family services number and explained what I wrote here and they filed a report with CPS. They told me the options which she hadnt been told before (shelter, court advocates, counseling, child care etc) but warned that she might not be ready to leave her family. Thats why they made the report.
The worker told me the report was for neglect and that someone would investigate.
I know I did the right thing. Ive watched that poor baby disintegrate, but still, I feel like I betrayed my friend, like maybe I should have just gotten the shelter info and not told my concerns.
Im sitting here feeling sick to my stomach because I dont know what will happen now.
I dont know what to expect (for her) and I dont know what to do. All I know is, I feel horrible.
If anyone can give me words of encouragement or tell me what to expect to happen, or even some sort of option for her I havent thought of, Id really appreciate it.
My username is traceable back to me and I dont want that family knowing my involvement. (They heartily believe in revenge)
My friend has been in a horrible situation for a very long time. Her parents are very verbal/emotionally abusive and have been (dont know if they still are) physically abusive towards her. She cooks, cleans, and otherwise waits on them hand and foot. (apparently neither of her parents can make a sandwich or pour a bowl of cereal for themselves
)She got married (too fast) in order to get away from them. Financial problems caused the married couple to move back in with her parents. Her husband is very verbally/emotionally abusive to her and recently became physically abusive (Ill get to that in a moment). I have been trying to get her to get help for a while. (I cant call for her, I tried).
Her family does not respect her as a mom at all. They constantly criticize her and scream at her if she even takes a moment to herself. (ex: if she tries to take a shower, she is told that she is a bad mother)
. She has called me too many times feeling suicidal. I got her to see a psychologist but then her family called her crazy, refused to pay the co-pay and told her CPS would take her baby away from her.She wants to get a job or go back to school, but her husband and parents wont let her get a job. They say theres no one to watch the baby. (They have her convinced any and all daycare workers are evil people who will kill her baby)
. Besides, they tell her, her baby needs her at home. (Though personally, I think they dont want to lose their personal slave.)Her parents are down right dangerous to the child. They wont let her leave with him, but she doesnt want to leave him with them (for good reason). They have driven off with the baby before she came home (without a carseat and without telling her), given him alcohol because its funny gave him a bottle of chocolate milk (he was very sick for 3 days), left him completely alone, etc.
When she is around them, they yell at her to feed him ANY time he cries, so the poor baby is over 40lbs.
She does whatever her parents tell her because she believes she has to. She lets them have power over her.
He has regressed in several areas. He used to be a very talkative baby. He was almost talking very early and then... silence. No babbling, no noise, nothing. He also was very close to walking. He was furniture walking like a pro, now he doesnt even crawl. He does that army crawl? (on tip toes and fingertips)
This weekend, it finally erupted. She and her husband got into a physical fight. She is ok, a little banged up, but ok. She was going to call 911, but her husband threatened that if she called anyone, he would run with the baby. (where he is sill a citizen and has family. He also has a separate checking account which she recently discovered).
She called me a few hours later and I told her to take a picture of the gashes and any bruises or anything that might appear. (she would not go to the hospital) She also finally agreed to call a family services group. However, she did not tell them the whole story. She left out her parents completely, so they gave her an option which at face value sounds great (move out order and file for full custody), but is not. Her parents WILL NOT sit back and let her do this. (They side with the husband. Her mom goes as far to say its my friends fault her husband treats her this way) It is very possible that she could get hurt. (based on past events). It is also very possible that her husband will run with the child to another country as he has threatened this many times before
I talked to her today, and she is back to its no big deal type thinking. She is incredibly depressed and feels trapped.
I am worried about her, but especially about the baby.
I hung up and honestly debated whether or not to call Child Protective Services. Instead, I called the family services number and explained what I wrote here and they filed a report with CPS. They told me the options which she hadnt been told before (shelter, court advocates, counseling, child care etc) but warned that she might not be ready to leave her family. Thats why they made the report.
The worker told me the report was for neglect and that someone would investigate.
I know I did the right thing. Ive watched that poor baby disintegrate, but still, I feel like I betrayed my friend, like maybe I should have just gotten the shelter info and not told my concerns.
Im sitting here feeling sick to my stomach because I dont know what will happen now.
I dont know what to expect (for her) and I dont know what to do. All I know is, I feel horrible.
