MacKenzie Phillips expected to drop bombshell on Oprah tomorrow

[bicker]

Not trying to be funny but if she is doing this to heal herself maybe Dr. Phil would have been a more appropriate venue.

Gosh, no. Not even close. Oprah has a great measure of humanity and a capability for compassion.

 

[eliza61]

Silence is what keeps things like this happening. Keeping it in the closet... when one has been emotionally, mentally and physically violated and manipulated....only hurts the victims. And, telling the victims they are to blame is just adding insult to injury.

It took a lot of therapy and courage for MP to tell all. Some folks ask why she didn't do this while her dad was still alive, so he could "defend" himself. Maybe she wasn't strong enough.

Sorry, I don't think it took any courage at all. I think it took a couple of millions dollars via a book sale and TV show endorsements to help her "courage" along.

Like I said, I'm cynical. Probably because Mackenzie is the flavor of the week. Every time you turn around another hollywood starlet is declaring how some one in the past has abused them.

What do producers go around looking for gals who have had this hard, tramatic life? Does it make them better actresses?

I think by Christmas we'll have the next "celebrity" recovering from "drug/sex/alcohol" abuse on GMA selling their "inspirational" story of survival. I can quote this stuff chapter and verse, I've heard it so many times before.

 

[JerseyJanice]

Silence is what keeps things like this happening. Keeping it in the closet... when one has been emotionally, mentally and physically violated and manipulated....only hurts the victims. And, telling the victims they are to blame is just adding insult to injury.

It took a lot of therapy and courage for MP to tell all. Some folks ask why she didn't do this while her dad was still alive, so he could "defend" himself. Maybe she wasn't strong enough.

I disagree. I don't think any good will come out of her telling the entire world that she had a consensual affair with her own father when she was an adult.

She already publicly revealed that he was a terrible father. What's the point in rehashing all of this now? I seriously doubt (and sincerely hope) that people are going to come out of the woodwork now that she's said it and admit that they had adult affairs with family members. This revelation isn't likely to help anyone else. It may bring her a few bucks, but most likely, she'll be even further scorned by her extended family. And I doubt she'll be able to parlay it into reviving her acting career.

 

[TLSnell1981]

Sexual abuse, especially incestual, is still the "dirty little secret" folks don't want to hear. It's so horrendous...."normal" folks just can't believe it (and did I say they "don't want to hear it"). Many, many times drugs and alcohol are involved to a great degree. MP may have been an adult, but she was still abused by her father...consentual or not. Years and years of mind numbing drugs and pyschological abuse....as I stated earlier...it's amazing she's not dead.

Will this revalation help her book sales or make her millions? I doubt it. I don't believe that was the motive. She knew the great risk she had "coming out" with her horrible secret. She knew some would judge and ridicule her... I do believe her motives were quite different. But, that's just my opinion.

 

[SydSim]

Like I said, I'm cynical. Probably because Mackenzie is the flavor of the week. Every time you turn around another hollywood starlet is declaring how some one in the past has abused them.

What do producers go around looking for gals who have had this hard, tramatic life? Does it make them better actresses?

I think by Christmas we'll have the next "celebrity" recovering from "drug/sex/alcohol" abuse on GMA selling their "inspirational" story of survival. I can quote this stuff chapter and verse, I've heard it so many times before.

Well since actors are just people like you and me, I would expect that they would encounter the same trauma that everyone else does - sexual abuse, drug, alcohol, etc. Only differencce - the media is interested in showcasing it because people are interested in hearing about. Same things as small town gossip only on a different level.

And there are regular folk out there who like to draw attention to themselves by telling everything about themselvs (and sometimes embellishing the story too!) Difference is, it usually doesn't make national news - only PTA minutes!

But lastly, actors may have gone into the field because of their experiences - so it may be a little bit more common.

 

[DawnCt1]

I'm sorry, but when a father has sex with his daughter, be it "consensual" or not, it is rape in my book. He is in a position of power over her, had the role of bringing her up to know that it was wrong.

ITA. There is no such thing as 'consensual' sex between a father and a daughter.

 

[DawnCt1]

Sorry, I don't think it took any courage at all. I think it took a couple of millions dollars via a book sale and TV show endorsements to help her "courage" along.

Like I said, I'm cynical. Probably because Mackenzie is the flavor of the week. Every time you turn around another hollywood starlet is declaring how some one in the past has abused them.

What do producers go around looking for gals who have had this hard, tramatic life? Does it make them better actresses?

I think by Christmas we'll have the next "celebrity" recovering from "drug/sex/alcohol" abuse on GMA selling their "inspirational" story of survival. I can quote this stuff chapter and verse, I've heard it so many times before.

I agree with you too. The "courage" was in the form of a check. On the other hand, once many of these actors and actresses are no longer in demand and they have no other skills to fall back on, writing "tell all books" may be the only way to maintain their life style.

 

[Papa Deuce]

I gotta say, it happened so many years ago, who cares at this point?

 

[Tina]

I gotta say, it happened so many years ago, who cares at this point?

I'm pretty sure McKenzie does.

 

[horseshowmom]

Sexual abuse, especially incestual, is still the "dirty little secret" folks don't want to hear. It's so horrendous...."normal" folks just can't believe it (and did I say they "don't want to hear it"). Many, many times drugs and alcohol are involved to a great degree. MP may have been an adult, but she was still abused by her father...consentual or not. Years and years of mind numbing drugs and pyschological abuse....as I stated earlier...it's amazing she's not dead.

Will this revalation help her book sales or make her millions? I doubt it. I don't believe that was the motive. She knew the great risk she had "coming out" with her horrible secret. She knew some would judge and ridicule her... I do believe her motives were quite different. But, that's just my opinion.

I heard on a television show last night that the online community is running about 50-50 on its opinion of this. I haven't counted the posts here on the Dis, but there are definitely some supporting her and some not. Of course, everybody is entitled to their own opinion.

One of the commentators was a psychiatrist who commented on how abuse of any sort affects the undeveloped brain of a child/teen. As we know now, the brain doesn't completely develop until the early 20s (National Institutes of Health). In that timeframe, I don't even want to think about what all she dealt with and how that affected her development.

As someone who dealt with sexual abuse by two different individuals, I can tell you that it is much more prevalent than people like to believe. No, it's not something I like to talk about, and I have gotten on with my life, but it still affects me in various ways. I can't even begin to imagine what it must have been like in her case when it involved her father (who had already pulled her into the world of addiction with him). Her whole life has been before the public. I can certainly understand her need to deal with it this way. I agree with TLSnell, it's amazing that she's not dead.


Some statistics (http://www.darkness2light.org/KnowAbout/statistics_2.asp):

1 in 4 girls is sexually abused before the age of 18.
1 in 6 boys is sexually abused before the age of 18.

An estimated 39 million survivors of childhood sexual abuse exist in America today.

30-40% of victims are abused by a family member.
Another 50% are abused by someone outside of the family whom they know and trust.
Approximately 40% are abused by older or larger children whom they know.
Therefore, only 10% are abused by strangers.

Young victims may not recognize their victimization as sexual abuse.

 

[bicker]

I haven't counted the posts here on the Dis, but there are definitely some supporting her and some not.

To be clear, some people object to attacking her, which is not quite the same thing as supporting her. And you see the same thing in the Oprah thread... some people are simply objecting to the attacks (on Oprah, in that case) rather than supporting her.

 

[horseshowmom]

To be clear, some people object to attacking her, which is not quite the same thing as supporting her. And you see the same thing in the Oprah thread... some people are simply objecting to the attacks (on Oprah, in that case) rather than supporting her.

I suppose that would be the way I look at it too. I wouldn't personally choose the route that she's taken, but I do think she has to make that decision for herself and that she has the liberty to do so.

 

[Aisling]

And just how do you know that she was not raped? Can't 19 year olds be raped? If you are a drug addict, are you asking to be raped?

Did she deserve this?

I am saddened by this thread. I could not imagine what it would feel like to be a sexually abused person.

I'm sorry, but when a father has sex with his daughter, be it "consensual" or not, it is rape in my book. He is in a position of power over her, had the role of bringing her up to know that it was wrong.

ITA. There is no such thing as 'consensual' sex between a father and a daughter.

I disagree with the above. I think it's possible that there was actual concentual sex between her and her father.

Drugs may not have had anything to do with her decision to have sex with him for so many years.

The "authority figure" aspect may not have had anything to do with her decision to have sex with her father for so many years.

Just like a daughter may have no trouble beating the crap out of their parent, conversely, another daughter (or son) may have no trouble having sex with a parent, "authority figure" moot in those cases.

I didn't see the show, so I'm just speculating. Did Makenzie say she was disgusted by it, that she did it to win her father's affection, that she felt guilty if she would have not done it?

Or did she say she found him sexually attractive, had no fatherly feelings for him, and made an adult decision?

The reason why I'm asking is because I read of some young women (in another country) who were interviewed in a mag and said they have concentual sex with their parents because their parents are "hot". These were generally promiscuous girls who weren't raised by their fathers.

There are some people who are just freaks.

 

[Feralpeg]

Based on personal experience, I believe the reason most kids do not report sexual abuse (especially by a family member) is because of the reaction they get. As hard as it is to believe, family members, even parents, will often ignore the abuse or disbelieve the child. Why? I guess it is because they don't want to believe it or just can't deal with it themselves. So, a child who tries to get help is often shot down. They are made to feel that they have done something wrong. They bury it and deal with the situation as best they can.

Sexual abuse for a child is an experience that can haunt them for the rest of their lives. They may bury it and move on, but it is always there waiting to spring its ugly head in a number of ways including trust situations.

I can easily see why Mackenzie did not seek help. It was her father. They certainly didn't lead a normal life. In fact, based on what she said, he made it seem like the rules did not apply to them. I think going public with the information is a way for her to finally release some of her demons. How do we know that the people who treated her during her rehab didn't suggest this. I am certainly not going to judge her for her actions.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

I heard on a television show last night that the online community is running about 50-50 on its opinion of this. I haven't counted the posts here on the Dis, but there are definitely some supporting her and some not. Of course, everybody is entitled to their own opinion.

One of the commentators was a psychiatrist who commented on how abuse of any sort affects the undeveloped brain of a child/teen. As we know now, the brain doesn't completely develop until the early 20s (National Institutes of Health). In that timeframe, I don't even want to think about what all she dealt with and how that affected her development.

As someone who dealt with sexual abuse by two different individuals, I can tell you that it is much more prevalent than people like to believe. No, it's not something I like to talk about, and I have gotten on with my life, but it still affects me in various ways. I can't even begin to imagine what it must have been like in her case when it involved her father (who had already pulled her into the world of addiction with him). Her whole life has been before the public. I can certainly understand her need to deal with it this way. I agree with TLSnell, it's amazing that she's not dead.


Some statistics (http://www.darkness2light.org/KnowAbout/statistics_2.asp):

1 in 4 girls is sexually abused before the age of 18.
1 in 6 boys is sexually abused before the age of 18.

An estimated 39 million survivors of childhood sexual abuse exist in America today.

30-40% of victims are abused by a family member.
Another 50% are abused by someone outside of the family whom they know and trust.
Approximately 40% are abused by older or larger children whom they know.
Therefore, only 10% are abused by strangers.

Young victims may not recognize their victimization as sexual abuse.

Good for you for not being ashamed. Not everyone gets to the point of realizing it wasn't there fault and that they are a victim. Thank you for speaking out and providing the facts regarding sexual abuse. It's definitely an eye opener.

As for MP, I think I would be somewhat more understanding of her need to purge herself if she wasn't going to make a penny from it, although she's been dealt such a horrible hand in life, maybe compensation is the least of what she deserves.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I appreciate your viewpoint, but respectfully disagree. I don't think most mental health professionals would consider a tell-all book & appearance on Oprah to fall under "working it through". That's generally done within oneself and perhaps confronting the offending party privately.

Unless I hear proceeds of her book are being donated to a drug abuse or incest survivor's group, I consider this book and appearance self-serving. Doesn't help that she was busted last year for cocaine.

Do I feel sorry for her? Sure - but I feel sorrier for the thousands of "ordinary" people who have suffered similar circumstances without the opportunities Ms. Phillips has been given.

I don't see anything wrong with her book, even if she is just writing it for the money. That goes for all people who've suffered abuse.

I feel incredibly sorry for the woman.

 

[bumbershoot]

I agree with you too. The "courage" was in the form of a check. On the other hand, once many of these actors and actresses are no longer in demand and they have no other skills to fall back on, writing "tell all books" may be the only way to maintain their life style.

So for the people who feel this way...does this mean that if you were given a big enough check, you'd just write a book about any old thing?

For me, if I didn't want to talk about it, I wouldn't, no matter how many millions were handed to me. Of course, I talk about everything in my life but one subject, for free, whenever I feel like it...wish someone would throw millions at me, but it's already out there, LOL.

Anyway, when I read sentiments that this sort of thing didn't require anything but the dollars...it seems more like people are saying that they, themselves, would be swayed by the dollars. Otherwise, why does it cross one's mind?


I was just reading a followup article...shortly after reading yet another thread talking about the 50s when everyone knew each other and there was no crime and it was all wonderful...she mentions that her father was very very messed up from his own childhood, and that perhaps we can start to understand how a childhood like that can produce a really messed up person. And of course he was a kid far earlier than the magical mythical 50s...seems bad things happened, even way back then.

 

[TLSnell1981]

Or did she say she found him sexually attractive, had no fatherly feelings for him, and made an adult decision?

The first time she had sex with her father, MP was doing drugs with dad, passed out and woke up in the middle of the encounter.

 

[DawnCt1]

So for the people who feel this way...does this mean that if you were given a big enough check, you'd just write a book about any old thing?

For me, if I didn't want to talk about it, I wouldn't, no matter how many millions were handed to me. Of course, I talk about everything in my life but one subject, for free, whenever I feel like it...wish someone would throw millions at me, but it's already out there, LOL.

Anyway, when I read sentiments that this sort of thing didn't require anything but the dollars...it seems more like people are saying that they, themselves, would be swayed by the dollars. Otherwise, why does it cross one's mind?


I was just reading a followup article...shortly after reading yet another thread talking about the 50s when everyone knew each other and there was no crime and it was all wonderful...she mentions that her father was very very messed up from his own childhood, and that perhaps we can start to understand how a childhood like that can produce a really messed up person. And of course he was a kid far earlier than the magical mythical 50s...seems bad things happened, even way back then.

This isn't about what I would do. This is about what she did. Her choice. She is taking the check and giving up her privacy. Her choice. Her life does go to show that there are worse things to be than Tatum O'Neal, whose father attempted to pick her up at her Farah's funeral. Its worse to be McKenzie Phillips.
John Phillips was so messed up that he heard on the radio that the police were ready to close in and "arrest a used up, former rock star". He called his friends to find out who it was. They didn't have the heart to tell him that it was HIM.

 

[denisem]

Geez, I don't know where to start...

Is MP solely driven by money for her book? No, I think a large part is the attention and validation she's receiving in revealing the horrible things she's endured. That's why I don't think this is a healthy healing process. It may give her a rush now, but when the world moves on to the next flavor of the day she'll be empty again. I sincerely hope I'm wrong.

I'm also bothered by the length of this "affair". Having never been a big-time drug user but marginally aware of the effects....ok, she woke up the first time in the middle of a drug haze, but what about the next day when she came down?? It didn't occur to her then this was unacceptable? For the next 10 years?

Can't help but come back to the fact she was busted a year ago. If, she is doing this in the guise of "helping others", it's wayyy too soon for a 49 y.o. habitual user.