Lying KIDS!!!!!!!

[hereyago]

Ok, yeah you're right. I was lying about that anyways.... hehehe.

Seriously, it's not really that they are trying to cover up what they are doing, just the fact that they get surprised and all guilty about it when I see them cleaning something up.



My mother caught my brother beautifully back in high school. In 1992, the Pittsburgh Penguins won a second straight Stanley Cup Championship. They had a big rally at Three Rivers Stadium. My mother knew my brother would go and warned him not to skip school.

Brother comes home from school....

Mother: How was school today?

Brother: Fine...

Mother: HOW was school today?

Brother: I said fine.

Mother: I'll ask one more time, how was school today?

Brother: School was fine, geez....

Mother: You didn't go to school today, did you?

Brother: Yeah, I went to school.

Mother: That's funny, because I was watching the Penguins celebration on the news and saw you on TV.

Brother: NO WAY!!!!! We were ON TV!!!! I can't wait to tell the guys!!!!

Mother: NO, you weren't on TV, but I did ask and I'll ask again, how was school today...

Your Mom rocked!!!!!!!!!! BUSTED!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[shortbun]

I just retired from a job where I worked with kids. I did it for eight years. All kids lie. It's just not a big deal to them. They say things the way they want them to be or how they perceive you want them to be. They lie about their home lives, they lie about who put the crackers on the floor-sorry OP but I think you are worrying about pretty much nothing here- and they would lie about their names just for no good reason. They are little kids with an undeveloped sense of what is important except in their small frame of reference. If they sense there is disfavor attached to an act-they will say they did not do it. When I find a child is lying, I calmly tell them to reconsider their answer and then I leave it alone. Backing a child into a corner just is not worth it. They will develop a better set of moral values as they grow. Just laugh and say, 'well, someone did it!' and tell one of them to pick up the pack of crackers. End of problem.

 

[Pigeon]

I disagree, children usually tell the truth even if it is brutal and hurts our feelings.

Pretty much every study that has looked at this yields data contrary to your opinion. While children may not have the social filters adults have, they frequently do lie, especially if it is to avoid conflict or punishment. See for example:

Playing the lying game: Detecting and dealing with lies and liars, from occasional fibbers to frequent fabricators by Gini Graham Scott

Lying by children: Why children say one thing, do another? Paniagua, Freddy A., Source Psychological Reports. Vol.64(3, Pt 1), Jun 1989, pp. 971-984.

Lying as a problem behavior in children: A review. Stouthamer-Loeber, Magda. Source Clinical Psychology Review. Vol.6(4), 1986, pp. 267-289.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

Pretty much every study that has looked at this yields data contrary to your opinion. While children may not have the social filters adults have, they frequently do lie, especially if it is to avoid conflict or punishment. See for example:

Playing the lying game: Detecting and dealing with lies and liars, from occasional fibbers to frequent fabricators by Gini Graham Scott

Lying by children: Why children say one thing, do another? Paniagua, Freddy A., Source Psychological Reports. Vol.64(3, Pt 1), Jun 1989, pp. 971-984.

Lying as a problem behavior in children: A review. Stouthamer-Loeber, Magda. Source Clinical Psychology Review. Vol.6(4), 1986, pp. 267-289.

I could be wrong, but I think CM8 knows that children lie. I think the smilie and her comment mean that kids often tell the truth when you'd rather they lie -- Wow Mom, you're getting really fat! or Dad, why are you losing all your hair?

 

[WDSearcher]

Another example of lying........
DS went to friends house with friend to play. Came home and said...."Friend's Mom said he is not allowed to play with me anymore, I heard her tell him that". So me thinking my ds did something wrong wanted to call the friend's parent to ask what happened. About 15 mins later the friend comes to our house looking to play with my son. I ask friend "Ds told me your Mom said you are not allowed to play with him anymore? Friend answers...."no she didn't, just said i have to eat dinner and can play after dinner".
He will make up things and exaggerate.

So ... when you found out your son exaggerated / misrepresented this situation, what was the punishment?

Another incident.....
Playing at cousins house... cousins come running upstairs (3 of them) tattling that ds said a bad word. He comes up and says he did not say bad word. 3 against 1 here buddy. Stop lying......

Were you there? How do you know HE'S the one who's lying? Maybe the three cousins thought it would be fun to get your son in trouble and THEY are the ones who are lying. You're so convinced he's a "liar" that he doesn't get ANY benefit of the doubt or a chance to explain? You don't even QUESTION the cousins?

another one....
Ds picks up an object and being silly bonks himself on forehead with object, says out loud "oh why did i do that" then starts crying. I ask him why he did that and he claims he did not hit himself with it he tripped. HELLO.....I watched him do it. Ugh! See the frustration here.

Oh come on. That's not a premeditated "I'm going to lie to my mom" thing. That's the equivalent of tripping on a curb and then, when everyone laughs at you, saying, "Um ... I meant to do that!"

I think maybe you need to figure out what "lying" really is. Because right now, you're upset at him for ANYTHING he says that isn't 100% the truth. And come on ... are you going to say that you've never told someone you liked their new hairdo when you really didn't or that you've never told someone you didn't feel well when you were trying to get out of doing something you didn't want to do? You've never tried to cover a mistake, or said you forgot something when you really didn't or mailed a bill late and then told the person on the phone, "I mailed that out last week."