Lying about spending habits....

[mommaU4]

I read an article today that said "33% of women (polled for this article) say they have lied to their partner about their spending."

And "one in four adults in committed relationships say honesty about money is more important than honesty about fidelity."

I have to say this surprised me. I got to wondering how many of us have fibbed a little when it comes to how much we spent on something.

My SiL, who is the sweetest person you'd ever wanna meet, has done it. We'd go shopping and she'd say "Now I'm going to say these shoes were only ___ when they were really ____." Or she'd say she was going to sneak something into her closet and then wear it a few days later and pretend it was an item she'd had all along.

I knew her DH so this was never something I judged her for doing. And she worked just as much as he did. She just didn't like confrontations so this was her way of dealing with it. Kept the peace this way, I guess.

I have never done that although there have been times when to be honest I've thought about it. And sometimes in the midst of yet another argument over the cost of kids clothes, I'd wished I had!! (and I shop at places like JCPenney or Target, but DH just doesn't realize how expensive clothing 4 kids is) I don't think I ever really would though. Not worth it to me. (I don't like secrets kept from me, so wouldn't do it to him.)

But obviously it does happen. So do you know any one who has done or does this? Is it something you'd ever do? Just wondering what people's thoughts are on this seemingly widespread issue.

 

[lillygator]

Wow-I would never dream of lying about anything to DH....!!

 

[goodeats]

We have a don't ask, don't tell policy. We use Quicken, so he knows what's going on the credit card, and as long as I don't go nuts it doesn't matter. We set an annual budget for different items, including clothing, so we check to make sure we're on track through out the year. I don't like it when he asks about specific items, though. I'm the type who would rather have fewer higher quality items. For instance I have a couple pairs of $100+ jeans, but I love them. I'd rather have these jeans than 10 pairs of $20 jeans. It's hard to explain that to DH, so we just look at the total clothing number.

Now, my parents are a different story. My mother hasn't worked since before I was born, and has always taken care of all the bills. I don't think my Dad even knows how to use the ATM. And when my Dad asks how much something costs, she always divides by 2. In fact she taught me and my sister to do the same!

 

[oogieboogie]

I don't lie about how much things cost. DH handles the finances in the household so he knows how much is charged on the CC or how much I take out in cash or debit card.

 

[golfgal]

I don't "lie" but I also don't tell either. DH has unrealistic expectations about how much things cost mainly because he never shops. He thinks that I can completly outfit 3 kids for winter clothing for $100, not even close! When we were buying new furniture he felt that we should be able to get a really nice living room set for $500, right. If he asks, I will tell him, but he also knows better then to ask because it only makes him mad.

 

[mickeyfan2]

No need to lie to DH. When I go shopping and show him something I then say "and it only cost" ...... he cuts me off and says he does not care. So never actually tell and do not lie.

 

[NMAmy]

No, I don't lie to dh about anything but I really wouldn't even be tempted to lie about the cost of something. If something is expensive, we discuss it before purchasing it. I handle all the finances and I'm a big saver so I don't really purchase things frivolously and neither does he.

 

[Marseeya]

No, I don't need to lie. I'm often mistaken, though, because I have a learning disability in math and I'm horrible with anything to do with numbers. My DH tries to account for this all the time with me.

He, on the other hand, has a really bad habit and I don't know where it stems from. When we're budgeting, he'll OVERestimate our income and UNDERestimate our bills. I can't figure out why he does this! He budgets millions of dollars for his job, but can't manage hundreds or thousands at home?

 

[VAN]

I'm like golfgal. Both my DH and I work full time. He lets me handle the family money, but I have to say he hasn't a clue what things really cost. He is starting to understand but likes living in the fantasy world that he has a wife who spends all his money!!!

I will never lie if asked point-blank, but sometimes it is easier just to keep some things to yourself.

On another note, he acts like he NEVER spends money, but always seems to have "new" shirts!!! He denies that they are new, so I think maybe he bought them a few months before and just kept them in his closet ... so they become "old"!!

Ahh, the games we must play!

 

[golfgal]

I'm like golfgal. Both my DH and I work full time. He lets me handle the family money, but I have to say he hasn't a clue what things really cost. He is starting to understand but likes living in the fantasy world that he has a wife who spends all his money!!!

I will never lie if asked point-blank, but sometimes it is easier just to keep some things to yourself.

On another note, he acts like he NEVER spends money, but always seems to have "new" shirts!!! He denies that they are new, so I think maybe he bought them a few months before and just kept them in his closet ... so they become "old"!!

Ahh, the games we must play!

My husband NEVER shops, though. He never spends money. We were going out of town last January and I was at the mall getting my nails done and I saw DH walking down the hall in the mall. I thought he must be looking for me, thought the weather was getting bad or something and our plans changed. The nail lady ran after him for me to see if he was looking for me. No, he was getting a hair cut. OOPS. He NEVER goes to the mall so what else was I supposed to think?

 

[helenabear]

The only thing I never told my DH how much was spent was on our honeymoon. I paid for it with my own money and he would've flipped if he knew what I spent on our room (Polynesian, concierge, lagoon view... no discounts - back in teh day when discounts were few and far between). I suppose if he asked now, I would tell. He didn't then though, and I sure didn't offer

Otherwise there is no way I would lie to him about my spending habits. Even when I worked full time and brought in just as much, if not MORE than he did. Just isn't right to me at all. I figure if I can't be honest with how much I spent, I really didn't need it in the first place.

 

[ducklite]

I don't lie, my husband has just gotten to the point where if he thinks he doesn't want to hear the answer, he won't ask.

I will say that he often goes with me to my favorite clothing store, and the salesladies there know just to hand me the receipt without announcing the total. If he asked what I spent, I'd give him the receipt, but he doesn't want to know. LOL!

Anne

 

[leighe]

I'm like golfgal. Both my DH and I work full time. He lets me handle the family money, but I have to say he hasn't a clue what things really cost. He is starting to understand but likes living in the fantasy world that he has a wife who spends all his money!!!

I will never lie if asked point-blank, but sometimes it is easier just to keep some things to yourself.

On another note, he acts like he NEVER spends money, but always seems to have "new" shirts!!! He denies that they are new, so I think maybe he bought them a few months before and just kept them in his closet ... so they become "old"!!

Ahh, the games we must play!

Exactly! My DH is also convinced he never spends money but he would eat out every night of the week if I would agree and if he ever goes out of town alone he ends up buying new tennis shoes.

DH also has no clue how much Disney really costs. I pull out money every month and put it in a seperate vacation account and then when we decide to take a trip (to Disney or anywhere) I plan based on what's in that account.

He drove me nuts when we were registering for baby stuff. He was freaking out about how much everything cost like we were going to have to buy everything we were ever going to need for the baby in one trip to Babies R Us!

 

[chrissyk]

Are you kidding me? I have no need to lie about what I spend. My DH actually told someone at work that I am "the cheapest person in the world" The sad thing is, it's true

I honestly don't care what DH spends, as long as he's not bringing "clutter" into the house. Me though...I'm just not a spender. He does spoil me on XMas and my birthday, though...he buys me things that I'd never buy myself.

 

[cardaway]

I'm surprised this is even an issue anymore. We buy almost everything on a credit or debit card. Isn't that true for most people now?

 

[DawnCt1]

No, I don't lie to dh about anything but I really wouldn't even be tempted to lie about the cost of something. If something is expensive, we discuss it before purchasing it. I handle all the finances and I'm a big saver so I don't really purchase things frivolously and neither does he.

Same here!

 

[pearlieq]

No, I don't need to lie about money. I'm an adult and can spend what I see fit. I also value my relationship with DH and I'm willing to keep up my end of any money agreements we've made.

I have a couple of friends who lie about how much things cost or hide them and sneak them in. It turns my stomach. Is this your husband or your father? Grow up already!!!

 

[golfgal]

I'm surprised this is even an issue anymore. We buy almost everything on a credit or debit card. Isn't that true for most people now?

I don't understand your point? Do you not pay your credit card bills? I use my debit card, yes, but it isn't like it's magic money, it still comes out of your checking account. We don't have any credit card debt.

 

[Christine]

I don't understand your point? Do you not pay your credit card bills? I use my debit card, yes, but it isn't like it's magic money, it still comes out of your checking account. We don't have any credit card debt.

I think cardaway was just pointing out that every purchase can be "seen" if you use the credit card or debit card. For ex: the credit card will say 10/15/05 - Ann Taylor - $75.00. Your spouse now knows that you spend a specific amount at a specific store.

My husband has never asked me how much anything costs. As long as the bills are being paid and money goes into the savings account, he doesn't seem to care if I spend $12 or $100 on a pair of jeans.

 

[Chicago526]

I've never lied to DH about anything. If you have to lie to your spouse about what something costs, then you shouldn't be buying it!