"Lurkers" on FaceBook

[snapppyd]

Do you ever feel like going through your friend list and just deleting people who never talk to you?

I removed a few a couple of weeks ago, including one of my sisters. My other sister told me she was very upset. Well she has never once said a word to me on FB; apparently she goes on late at night just to look.

How do you know people are interested in you if they never say a word?

 

[JessicaR]

I recently went down my list and deleted some for the same reason. Not my sister though!

 

[Pakey]

Snap, I'm on my way to your wall to post something right now. Don't delete me.

 

[tweezybird]

I just signed up for facebook and have a question, I went kind of lurking for old friends, Can they see that I've looked at their page. I just wanted to see what they were up to but don't necessarily want to re-establish a friendship.

 

[jenny105]

I don't talk to half the people on my facebook. Most of them are old co-workers and people I went to high school with that I had no desire to talk to back then so why would I now? I'm just too lazy to delete people.

No, I don't think there is anyway to tell who looks at your page.

 

[diznygirl]

Facebook is for sharing - I don't care if people post to my page. But it's an easy way to let everyone know what's going on all at once.

Why would you expect people to comment all the time? I'm guessing that you talk to your sister in real life. Isn't that good enough?

 

[horseshowmom]

Here's what gets me. I can't believe that these people keep so close a watch on their friend list that they even know they've been deleted.

I only had facebook for a little while but had a lot of people that I basically have no contact with "friend" me. There were only a few that I actually cared anything about keeping up with (close family and friends). I deleted some extended family members, and they immediately made comments about how bad their feelings were hurt. I almost never posted so they didn't miss my updates. I wouldn't have even noticed if they had deleted me.

 

[snapppyd]

Facebook is for sharing - I don't care if people post to my page. But it's an easy way to let everyone know what's going on all at once.

Why would you expect people to comment all the time? I'm guessing that you talk to your sister in real life. Isn't that good enough?

Who said "all the time" I'm talking about people who NEVER post. And no, I don't talk to that sister in real life very often, which is why I thought FB would work for us. Is my answer good enough?

 

[DebIreland]

Oh I don't like lurkers at all! I have a relative who hasn't posted anything in years but I regularly hear back from others that she told them I was doing such and such cause she saw it on Facebook. That freaks me out. Thanks for the reminder. I just put her on 'restricted'!

 

[cari12]

Here's what gets me. I can't believe that these people keep so close a watch on their friend list that they even know they've been deleted.

I only had facebook for a little while but had a lot of people that I basically have no contact with "friend" me. There were only a few that I actually cared anything about keeping up with (close family and friends). I deleted some extended family members, and they immediately made comments about how bad their feelings were hurt. I almost never posted so they didn't miss my updates. I wouldn't have even noticed if they had deleted me.

You would have noticed because FB sends you an email to let you know.

 

[usnuzuloose]

I have two people on mine and neither one of them even say hello. One of them, family is all about posting where they shop and where they are traveling to. I dont need people on it. I use it for news and updates. I guess I will never be popular.

 

[JessicaR]

You would have noticed because FB sends you an email to let you know.

I never got an email. I wonder if thats an option that has to be checked?

 

[cari12]

Oh I don't like lurkers at all! I have a relative who hasn't posted anything in years but I regularly hear back from others that she told them I was doing such and such cause she saw it on Facebook. That freaks me out. Thanks for the reminder. I just put her on 'restricted'!

Isn't that what FB is for? Keeping people updated with your posts.Letting all the people on your friends list know what you are up to with a single post?

 

[SaraJayne]

You would have noticed because FB sends you an email to let you know.

No, Facebook does not send you an email when you've been deleted off someone's friends list.

 

[horseshowmom]

You would have noticed because FB sends you an email to let you know.

I never got an email. I wonder if thats an option that has to be checked?

That's interesting because I asked around before doing so (googled and asked here on the Dis) and was told that FB does not notify the person they've been "unfriended".

 

[JessicaR]

Went to facebook and looked it up.

If I unfriend someone will they be notified?

No, but all friend links are reciprocal, so you will be removed as a friend from their friend list as well.

http://www.facebook.com/help?page=770

 

[krcit]

Snappy, I know what you mean. I have a few 'friends' like that. They never ever comment on anything but will mention that they saw it on FB. I think it's a little creepy. I should go through and delete some friends too.

 

[horseshowmom]

Went to facebook and looked it up.

If I unfriend someone will they be notified?

No, but all friend links are reciprocal, so you will be removed as a friend from their friend list as well.

http://www.facebook.com/help?page=770

That was my understanding - that unless somebody went through their list of friends and noticed me gone they wouldn't know the difference. I never even looked at my list.

 

[DebIreland]

Isn't that what FB is for? Keeping people updated with your posts.Letting all the people on your friends list know what you are up to with a single post?

I guess I see Facebook as a reciprocal thing. I don't expect or even want comments from people all the time. In fact, it's fine if some people never comment on my page at all. It's really fine. But what I don't understand is why some people have Facebook accounts that they check daily (to see what others are doing) but they never ever post any updates themselves. It creeps me out a bit.

An example concerning that relative I mentioned. Shortly after my brother passed away I posted some beautiful photos of him on my Facebook page, shared strictly with friends and family only (not friends of friends). People were very receptive. Cousins, in particular, who live abroad were very pleased to see recent photos of him. Anyway a few weeks later I was talking to my mother in law and her sisters were with her (who I barely know and they never met my brother) and MIL said "oh A. (my SIL) showed us the photos of your brother earlier. We were all looking at them on her Facebook page. Wow! He was handsome." Hmmm, I dunno, I felt uneasy. I know it was my decision to put them on Facebook but I don't like how she lurks and watches (seemingly all the time because others have commented on it too) and shares on her laptop with her family. But she gives absolutely nothing in return.

Oh another time I posted that the kids and I were off camping for the night. Within 5 minutes of me posting it she called to say she had planned on visiting us the next day so when would we be back. Literally 5 minutes!! A woman who never posts anything herself.

It could be my inbuilt paranoia coming through though. lol!

 

[Feralpeg]

I removed a few people recently from my page. They posted one stupid picture after another. These were not pictures of them, their family or friends, but stupid stuff they found on the Internet. Much of it being kind of raunchy. I'm just not interested in seeing that stuff constantly. The only other people I've removed are those who feel a need to press their political views on everyone else. Gone...bye, bye!