loosing children

[Linda Talbot]

I know this is a very grim subject line, but I really need some major Pixie Dust this evening. My day at work started by the news that a friend's two year old daughter had died suddenly yesterday. It was tragic, she died on her second birthday. And my day ended by the sickening news that a co-worker young son had been killed in an accident. I have been in tears and so upset. Don't know what to do or say. I guess I just needed to put it in writing and maybe I can get some peace for myself.
Thanks for reading.

 

[p-nut]

How very tragic for both families. Prayers and pixie dust coming your way for the parents of the children and for you.

 

[doxdogy]

How sad. for you. Prayers for the families.

 

[DisneyObsessed]

Life is so unfair sometimes. My goodness. We just can't take anything or anyone for granted. Life is so precious. Hugs and good thoughts to your friends and you.

 

[Mermaid02]

I can't imagine the pain. I'll say a prayer for them.

 

[NHAnn]

Oh what a sad sad day
I will keep you in my thoughts and say a prayer for the two angels and their families.

 

[Micca]

About 10 years ago DW and I went to the funerals of three children of friends of ours in a one year period. It's a very sad thing. I'm pleased to report that was the end of it.

 

[suzannen]

What a tragic thing, how horrible and how incredibly sad. You have both pixie dust and prayers for you and for the two families suffering these tragedies. I'm so sorry.

 

[Robinrs]

Linda:

I hate to say that I have experience with this... but unfortunately I do.

The one thing that hurt me almost as much as the loss was the loss of my friends. So many did not know "what to say" so they stayed away. Out of all the people I knew back home, only about three came to console me and continued to do so.

I started going to a counseling group and ended up as one of the counselors. I was a grief counselor for 16 years.

Realize that most people do not know what to say. The problem is they don't have to say ANYTHING. Just be there. Just listen. The person in pain doesn't want to hear cliches or sayings, they want to know how long they're going to hurt and if they will be able to survive. Most of the time they just want a shoulder.

Also realize that when the throngs are gone the loneliness can be unbearable. Call them every once in awhile and remind them that you're there.

I'm surviving two deaths this year and again I've found out who my friends are.

Be a friend. It will help YOU, too.

God bless,

Robinrs

 

[Alex]

Robin hit the nail on the head. People don't remember what you said...they remember you were there

 

[chell]

 

[always quiet]

This is so sad!

I understand so well what Robin said. In 93, when I lost my son Kyle, family members avoided me like I had the plague. I felt so alone. The only person I could talk to was my DH. I remember going to Kyle's funeral...aside from the priest and undertaker, the 2 of us were the only ones there. No one else could "deal" with it or they all had busy lives and just couldn't take the time. A couple months later, a niece of mine found out she was pregnant. I was the last person they wanted to know. In Dec of that year, I found out I was expecting my youngest and I kept the information to myself for quite awhile. I was at my sister's for Christmas and "word" got out that another niece was pregnant. By her expression when her brother 'slipped', she did NOT want me to know!! I finally lost it and virtually yelled "Enough already!! I'm pregnant too!" It was only then that people in my family started to come around. It's so sad....this is a time when you really need family and friends.

Just be there for them....if you think it's hard for you, imagine how hard it is from their end. A good ear and a strong shoulder is all that is required.

 

[Kitty 34]

How sad.

 

[holycow]

too sad.........

 

[Lorix2]

This thread is so heartbreaking

I'm really sorry to hear your news, I'm really not good at expressing myself with these things, especially when it comes to children. ((HUGS)) to you and the families involved.

Also - to my fellow DISER's here that have shared their loss with us - I just cannot imagine....heartfelt ((HUGS)) to you too.

 

[Serena]

 

[aprilgail2]

Unfortunatly I have been there too.....my 14 year old godson had been fighting one cancer after another since he was 2 and he lost the battle in April of 2002. I remember people and guys from my work coming to the funeral home and only making it as far as the doorway, they couldn't come in but I did appreciate them coming for me. One thing that I really wanted to scream at though was when people would say "Well God must have wanted him".....hell I wanted to yell WELL I WANTED HIM TOO! I didn't care who else did, all I knew was that I did not have him anymore....I swear if I never hear that line again I will be happy! I remember the neighbors who stopped by just to drop off cards and say they were sorry...emails from people I just knew from online, cards in the mail, phone calls....I also remember who did not say a word, a good friend who did not even bother to call...when my mom spoke to her a few weeks later she said "Did you know that Matt Died" and my "friend" just said "oh yes I had heard that "....no sorry...no card...no phone call...THAT I will remember too!

 

[mom2boys]

Two so close to home is unfathomable. It must be so unsettling for you. My prayers go out to the families and loved ones.

 

[browneyes]

Kids shouldn't die.

 

[Pop Daddy]

there just isnt anything I hate more than when a child dies