Looks like I'll be banning books!

[Magpie]

Sort of...

I just got a call from my 9th grade daughter's English teacher. It seems the kid's been reading under her desk in class, basically ignoring the lesson. As a result she's not been getting her homework done (because she wasn't writing it down in her agenda), and she's been getting low marks on tests. Not critically low, but the kid is gifted in language so there's no reason she should be getting seventies. She's capable of much, much better.

This isn't new either - I know she got detention at least once earlier this year for reading in a different class. She's beyond an avid reader - more like obsessed. We started telling her awhile back that she needed to write something before she settled down to read for hours and hours, and so she's been producing reams of poetry (some pretty good, actually).

So far this is my plan... 1. have a "disapproving mommy" chat with the kid and 2. check her school bag before she leaves to make sure she's not taking any "fun" books to school.

I shared this plan with the teacher and she seemed a bit nonplussed - probably because as an English teacher she wants to encourage reading. She said, "Well, she could read her books during lunch break..." But I'm thinking, this kid reads ALL the time and she's not showing any self discipline about it. Worse, she's getting sneaky.

So, I'm going to try it my way first.

Thoughts, suggestions?

 

[wvjules]

Are you on the school's speed dial? lol

 

[Magpie]

Are you on the school's speed dial? lol

Two different schools, would you believe it!

I'm starting to think I should be less available...

 

[dodukes]

sounds like a good idea. its great that shes reading just not to the obsessed level where its hurting her school work.

 

[MomRN]

Well, I always read in class, but I also did well. I'm not an auditory learner at all. When teachers and professors talk all I hear is "blah, blah, blah." No offense to any teachers out there. If I had a teacher that tested solely from the books I never took notes or paid atention, I just often read the chapter while they were talking.

The professors that tested from notes usually had their powerpoint available to print, and I just read that.

 

[Luv2Scrap]

I was the same way in school - there was no stopping me! Now my son has been caught a couple times too, but he's doing ok in school and I dont' think he's doing it anymore.

I tried the leave the books at home thing one time, but I learned (and this came directly from the teachers) that they expect them to have a book to read if they finish something up before the other kids. And some teachers have independent reading time, which they must have a book for.

Not to mention, as a 9th grader, I'm sure she has full access to the school library anytime she wants. My son has since 6th grade.

I'd so rather deal with this problem than having them hate reading. I'd have to check the DNA and see if they really were mine if I got one that hated reading!

 

[scrapquitler]

I would let the teacher deal with it. If the reading is affecting her grades, that will be a natural consequence and will probably solve the problem after a while when she realizes that it is a problem. Personally I wouldn't do anything to discourage reading.

 

[Buckalew11]

Plus, at lunch, she really needs to social while she's there...I think?

I have an avid reader also. I always said I would not *punish* by taking books away but I have done that because it just gets out of hand. DD never read in class instead of doing work or listening though. She's quite the rule follower so that wasn't much of an issue.She would try to do other work while the teacher was reaching another subject because, in her words, "I can multi-task, ya know." lol Yes, I know, but you must pay full attention to the teacher.

Good luck. You certainly don't want to spoil her love for reading!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Sounds like she has crossed the line into avoidance or something else. I would get my kid a counselor and find out why she is doing this and strategies for correction. It is always better for the kid to figure out the strategy they need to use with a counselor. Parents are chopped liver.

She may have some true OCD, she may be bored, or she may have some anxiety thing with people or who knows.

Anyway point is that you and the school requires her to follow directions and rules. If she is unable or unwilling to follow them it is up to you to seek help, punish, etc depending on what you think it is. Let natural consequences be the result, etc.

I said counselor because I have a great one for my dd. She has helped her with her perfectionism and tolerating the mundane in school. Unfortunately it is a part of life and she has to learn to deal with it, while still being successful.

 

[Pamlur]

I got in trouble for that when I was in school, and I'm a grandma now. I wasn't having any avoidance issues, anxiety, anger issues; the book was simply a lot more interesting than what the teacher was talking about. She also couldn't catch me out and ask me an unexpected question, because I was always half-listening to her and could answer the question without hesitating. Oh, my poor mother. Then the same teacher got my brother five years later, who gazed out the window and day-dreamed. More phone calls from the teacher.

I honestly don't remember what Mom did to stop me from doing that, except maybe tell me she didn't want to be called to school again. She loves to read, so I know she wouldn't take my books away.

 

[pperfectmom]

I say let it slide and if the teacher sees a problem, let her deal with it. In the grand scheme of things it will not have an impact on her schooling. I doubt very seriously if it is an issue that you would need a counselor for. I have been an obsessive book reader my whole life from hiding it inside my school book while I supposed to be doing classroom reading, using a flashlight under the covers so my mom wouldn't know that I was up the ENTIRE night reading before school and sneaking and reading at work many times. I really hope my kids do inherit my love of reading.

 

[jrmasm]

I don't see books as the problem but rather a lack of respect for the teacher. Pleasure reading in class is rude.

Don't take away her books. Give her any extra chore when she gets caught.

 

[Magpie]

And some teachers have independent reading time, which they must have a book for.

I thought about this, but since the teacher says she hasn't been looking at the grammar textbook she's supposed to review, I'm thinking I'll just tell her to read that instead. After all, textbooks are books too, right?

I would let the teacher deal with it. If the reading is affecting her grades, that will be a natural consequence and will probably solve the problem after a while when she realizes that it is a problem. Personally I wouldn't do anything to discourage reading.

I'm assuming that because the teacher called me, she must be looking for me to do something about the situation. I expect she's tried everything she can at school.

My daughter is a very laid-back, mellow kid without anything much in the way of ambition. She's not going to be the slightest bit put out if her report is nothing but a long line of B's with the occasional C. It won't be the first time that's happened. And she's bright enough that she could probably manage to pass without even attending class.

Natural consequences aren't likely to have much of an impact here.

Good luck. You certainly don't want to spoil her love for reading!

Thanks! I'm really not worried about that happening.

Oh, and for the person who mentioned counseling. I'm not opposed to the concept in theory, but I don't think the kid is OCD or anything requiring professional help. She's happy, laid-back, sweet-natured and she really, really, REALLY loves to read. She's been reading since she was 2 years old, sitting on my lap and picking individual words out of the newspaper. I hope someday she'll be able to turn her obsession into a career - but in the meantime, she needs to get through school.

 

[Sgt Mickey]

I was the same way.
I didn't disrepect my teachers one bitI wasn't exactly trying to be rude either BUT like you said about her I get obsessed when reading.
I think you have a good idea BUT I like to have a book with me at all times for the slow times so I would go crazy.

 

[Magpie]

I don't see books as the problem but rather a lack of respect for the teacher. Pleasure reading in class is rude.

Don't take away her books. Give her any extra chore when she gets caught.

I'm not going to take them away - I just want her to leave them at home. Since reading in class is against the rules, it seems to me that she shouldn't be bringing books to class. What does she need them there for, anyway?

 

[Sgt Mickey]

People around her are boring

 

[Magpie]

People around her are boring

You know, that might be true!

I actually do remember how mind-blowingly boring most of my classes were in high school, not to mention my fashion-obsessed peers... Well, maybe I can hold out a carrot of some sort. "Bring up your grades, and you can start taking a book to school again."

Maybe that'll light a fire under her sweet behind!

 

[descovy]

Ah... I was that kid. If fact I still am. I don't let myself read novels ON PURPOSE because I know if I get into them I will never put them down. And my 3 kids would never be fed, housework would never be done, etc....

I only allow myself novels on long flights! Otherwise its newspapers, magazines, and internet for me. Sorry, I cannot be trusted with a good book.