Looks like DD is getting married at home! Anyone do this, have suggestions?

[luvavacation]

DD and Future-Son-In-Law picked the venue last June (the wedding is this May), but it has been under renovation. Looked at it this past week, they are not pleased with many of the changes, changes that are different from the plans we were originally shown. Instead of elegant, the venue is going with "rustic barn". Also, many of their policies have changed.

DD and FSIL have spoken to the owners of the venue, and long story short, they have been told they can back out and receive back the deposit. They would now like to have the wedding here at my home. Did I mention the wedding is in MAY!

I truly don't mind, and though we never said it to my daughter, we did wish they would have the wedding here, and I believe we will have a beautiful wedding. But, we need to now get tents, flooring for under the tents, tables, chairs, port-a-potties, flowers in pots, caterers, generators, oh so many things.

DD lives 4 hours away, so much of this sudden, last minute stuff will fall on me, since I am here and can easily meet with people for quotes and such. Again, I don't mind, but I have never planned anything so big (for me, anyway - expecting about 125 people), nor have any of my friends. I was hoping someone here would have experience in a wedding at home, and tell me what to make sure I don't forget, perhaps what is commonly overlooked, or what isn't even important to spend time on.

And where to I have all the people park? We live in a subdivision, in the turn of the cul-de-sac. Do we have shuttles from a parking lot nearby?

And may God hear my fervent prayers over the next few months for no rain! Oh this is going to be fun!

 

[sbtrfly74]

Truly sorry if they had their heart set on the venue.


Depending on if its in your budget with getting the deposit back, maybe look into a wedding coordinator to over see everything so you can enjoy the day instead of being stressed out. (even though thats a given)

 

[akhenaten]

Watch the movie father of the bride...lol

Personally , I would be a nervous host... I would help them find a venue. But if you are going ahead with the at home plan.. Then I would find a professional co-ordinator.

 

[Mokat76]

Wow. Good luck. You sound like you're already well on your way with ideas. Start writing them down. You will need to live by the checklist!

I commend you for already thinking about parking. Yes, best to arrange for shuttles from a parking lot. You'll need to get the lot owner's permission in writing and may need to see about insurance or a hold harmless agreement. Then you'll need to find the buses and drivers.

Pin your DD down ASAP about her and your FSIL's expectation if you haven't already. Fancy and formal or casual? Catered or family prepared food?

As PP said if you can afford it, hire a pro. He/she will save your sanity.

 

[dyna]

My brother an his bride married on the back of my parents 5 acres. Seems it was early June weddin (doesn't matter 1 can never depend on the weather.) Beautiful day. NO Tents, no catering a true pot luck.

No port a pots....daddy had made potty frames out of PVC mom made walls with cheap canvas an demin and Velcro the potty it's self was a bucket for the men an women had a port a pot for camping. The frames for the potties was set in the bushes out of the way of mowing an could be pulled out set up in about 10 mins.

Parking was off to the side of the picnic site oh there was NO electric the music for the wedding ceremony was the birds. Many peeps brought their own chairs but parents had lots of seating.

Close to 300 came to the wedding many was still there after dark an the ceremony was at like 2 in the afternoon ....we must have done something right.

 

[lauradis]

DD and Future-Son-In-Law picked the venue last June (the wedding is this May), but it has been under renovation. Looked at it this past week, they are not pleased with many of the changes, changes that are different from the plans we were originally shown. Instead of elegant, the venue is going with "rustic barn". Also, many of their policies have changed.

DD and FSIL have spoken to the owners of the venue, and long story short, they have been told they can back out and receive back the deposit. They would now like to have the wedding here at my home. Did I mention the wedding is in MAY!

I truly don't mind, and though we never said it to my daughter, we did wish they would have the wedding here, and I believe we will have a beautiful wedding. But, we need to now get tents, flooring for under the tents, tables, chairs, port-a-potties, flowers in pots, caterers, generators, oh so many things.

DD lives 4 hours away, so much of this sudden, last minute stuff will fall on me, since I am here and can easily meet with people for quotes and such. Again, I don't mind, but I have never planned anything so big (for me, anyway - expecting about 125 people), nor have any of my friends. I was hoping someone here would have experience in a wedding at home, and tell me what to make sure I don't forget, perhaps what is commonly overlooked, or what isn't even important to spend time on.

And where to I have all the people park? We live in a subdivision, in the turn of the cul-de-sac. Do we have shuttles from a parking lot nearby?

And may God hear my fervent prayers over the next few months for no rain! Oh this is going to be fun!

I think it very fun to have a home wedding! I'm starting to dislike the party center, hotel, hall venue type of weddings.

tents, dance floor.

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

Port-a-potties. Our neighbors held a similar size wedding using their and our backyards together. They wanted to use the bathrooms in our house because theirs couldn't handle that many people but we refused.

 

[TinkerBelled]

DD and Future-Son-In-Law picked the venue last June (the wedding is this May), but it has been under renovation. Looked at it this past week, they are not pleased with many of the changes, changes that are different from the plans we were originally shown. Instead of elegant, the venue is going with "rustic barn". Also, many of their policies have changed.

DD and FSIL have spoken to the owners of the venue, and long story short, they have been told they can back out and receive back the deposit. They would now like to have the wedding here at my home. Did I mention the wedding is in MAY!

I truly don't mind, and though we never said it to my daughter, we did wish they would have the wedding here, and I believe we will have a beautiful wedding. But, we need to now get tents, flooring for under the tents, tables, chairs, port-a-potties, flowers in pots, caterers, generators, oh so many things.

DD lives 4 hours away, so much of this sudden, last minute stuff will fall on me, since I am here and can easily meet with people for quotes and such. Again, I don't mind, but I have never planned anything so big (for me, anyway - expecting about 125 people), nor have any of my friends. I was hoping someone here would have experience in a wedding at home, and tell me what to make sure I don't forget, perhaps what is commonly overlooked, or what isn't even important to spend time on.

And where to I have all the people park? We live in a subdivision, in the turn of the cul-de-sac. Do we have shuttles from a parking lot nearby?

And may God hear my fervent prayers over the next few months for no rain! Oh this is going to be fun!

Some thoughts:

1. Go to wedding websites, get a wedding magazine. Make a list of all categories (food, drink, tent, etc.) and then subcategories.

2. The most important things to book right away are the one-offs--that is, things which can't be duplicated. So, most importantly, caterer, DJ, photographer. The caterer may be able to act as a de facto wedding planner, at least for a large chunk of it--they'll have contacts for table and chair rental, linens, glassware, etc., and may well prefer to handle that stuff. Similarly, see if the DJ can deal with the speakers and sound equipment him/herself.

3. Parking is one of the trickiest things. If you're going to have a wedding hotel, perhaps you could run a shuttle from there and encourage as many as possible to take the shuttle. (This way they can drink and drive.)

4. Get your ducks in a row vis-a-vis paperwork. Buy wedding insurance for the site of your house--you can usually get something reasonable for about $200-300. This covers you in the event of a disaster. Check and see if your town or subdivision has noise limits/time limits or permit requirements.

5. Write a note to your neighbors letting them know this is going to happen. Perhaps include a bottle of wine or a nice treat to thank them for putting up with a party. Having the neighbors on your side makes everything so much easier.

6. If you're serving alcohol, buy it yourself rather than have the caterer do it--it will be dirt cheap. I served a festive crowd of 150 with an all-night open bar for under $700, including bubbles.

7. Ask your catering company for recommendations about things like generators, toilets, etc. They are professional events people, and they should have suggestions. Most events of 125 will need 2-3 toilets, max. If you're planning to use a couple of your own house toilets, this means you'll only need one bonus toilet, max. Think about getting something nice; they make luxury portable toilets now.

8. Think about hiring a gardner to come in for a couple hours the weekend before the event to tidy things up. Or, if you're a gardener yourself, perhaps plant bulbs asap so that you'll have real flowers in the ground.

These are my initial thoughts. I planned a pretty a la carte wedding a little over a year ago, so please feel free to ask any particular questions!

 

[Gigi22]

Not to be a party pooper, but I would check with your town/city to make sure that it is legal to have an event of this size at your house. Also check if you need a special license to be able to dispense liquor. Also, do you need to hire security?

 

[rigs32]

A homemade port-a-potties with a bucket? I might leave to find a decent toilet. And I say that as a camper. A strong gust of wind might dislodge the fabric wall.

The last DIY wedding I went to had people leaving in droves when the sun went down because it was freezing, extremely buggy, and no lighting in/near the port-a-potties.

 

[lizabu]

A good wedding/event planner is going to be worth their weight in gold. They have the connections and can actually help you save money.

 

[phorsenuf]

My brother an his bride married on the back of my parents 5 acres. Seems it was early June weddin (doesn't matter 1 can never depend on the weather.) Beautiful day. NO Tents, no catering a true pot luck.

No port a pots....daddy had made potty frames out of PVC mom made walls with cheap canvas an demin and Velcro the potty it's self was a bucket for the men an women had a port a pot for camping. The frames for the potties was set in the bushes out of the way of mowing an could be pulled out set up in about 10 mins.

Parking was off to the side of the picnic site oh there was NO electric the music for the wedding ceremony was the birds. Many peeps brought their own chairs but parents had lots of seating.

Close to 300 came to the wedding many was still there after dark an the ceremony was at like 2 in the afternoon ....we must have done something right.

Sorry, but ewwwww..............making people go in a bucket? Yeah that says classy and that you care about your guests comfort.

OP please don't skimp on toilets especially if people will be drinking.

 

[luvavacation]

Thank you all so much! Much to consider.

I like the idea of a wedding planner, I will talk to my daughter tonight and see if she knows anyone her friends may have used.

Also need to talk to my neighbour, as they have large parties, I will check if they needed a permit, as the village office is closed on the weekends and I must know!

Definitely need to talk to the neighbours. We thought we would have the music end by 9:00 p.m., just to be considerate. Guests could stay, but no music. Also, thought we would extend an invite to the neighbours if they wanted to stop by and visit later. Bad idea or good?

I have 4 bathrooms, but only one on the main floor. Maybe just 2 nice portable toilets? Didn't know nice ones were even an option.

No need for security, I think the bouquet and garter toss won't have any sudden fights. Hmm, actually grandma might just need to be watched, never know what she might get into!

Thanks again!

 

[thedonduck]

How amazingly fun! I would have loved a fun backyard wedding. We have been to a couple at home weddings that were lovely and a ton of fun!

One suggestion instead of port a pots, check and see how expensive a potty trailer would be. Been to a couple weddings (and our HS prom) had a potty trailer that was really nice, had "flush able" toilets and running water at the sinks.

 

[lizabu]

Thank you all so much! Much to consider. I like the idea of a wedding planner, I will talk to my daughter tonight and see if she knows anyone her friends may have used. Also need to talk to my neighbour, as they have large parties, I will check if they needed a permit, as the village office is closed on the weekends and I must know! Definitely need to talk to the neighbours. We thought we would have the music end by 9:00 p.m., just to be considerate. Guests could stay, but no music. Also, thought we would extend an invite to the neighbours if they wanted to stop by and visit later. Bad idea or good? I have 4 bathrooms, but only one on the main floor. Maybe just 2 nice portable toilets? Didn't know nice ones were even an option. No need for security, I think the bouquet and garter toss won't have any sudden fights. Hmm, actually grandma might just need to be watched, never know what she might get into! Thanks again!

Oh heck ya...there are fancy ones with running water and everything. I would invite the neighbours. They can't complain if they're part of the party

 

[lauradis]

Thank you all so much! Much to consider.

I like the idea of a wedding planner, I will talk to my daughter tonight and see if she knows anyone her friends may have used.

Also need to talk to my neighbour, as they have large parties, I will check if they needed a permit, as the village office is closed on the weekends and I must know!

Definitely need to talk to the neighbours. We thought we would have the music end by 9:00 p.m., just to be considerate. Guests could stay, but no music. Also, thought we would extend an invite to the neighbours if they wanted to stop by and visit later. Bad idea or good?

I have 4 bathrooms, but only one on the main floor. Maybe just 2 nice portable toilets? Didn't know nice ones were even an option.

No need for security, I think the bouquet and garter toss won't have any sudden fights. Hmm, actually grandma might just need to be watched, never know what she might get into!

Thanks again!

septic or city sewer with four toilet you might only need one Porto pot, plus i would invite the nebors unless your dont like them

noise ordinance is 11 pm around here not 9 pm

I will say tents with sides one more time.

 

[redrosesix]

My brother had his wedding at their house and for the price of a tent rental for the day (which is actually rental for a couple of days since they won't set it up and all day of), they built wooden stair, a shed, a deck and a pergola. They also put walls and a bathroom in their walk out basement, which is where the buffet was served from. My BIL got married in his wife's parents' yard and they saved enough money to put in a huge pond, a gazebo and a hedge. In both cases, all of the new additions were used for the wedding but they still have them now.

They also both hired gardeners to fix up the yard and add flowers/plants where necessary to fill things out a couple of weeks before, and mowed the lawns the day before. I think this was a really smart move, since the families were all busy doing wedding stuff and the gardens had to be done well.

We didn't have our wedding at home but we did use a hall that didn't provide anything. So I strongly suggest trying to rent everything you need from one place. It makes it so much easier to make sure everything has been included, and you only have to worry about one delivery and one pick-up. My brother used the same rental place but was also able to get lights and everything else needed for the outdoor reception.

 

[minkydog]

Thank you all so much! Much to consider.

I like the idea of a wedding planner, I will talk to my daughter tonight and see if she knows anyone her friends may have used.

Also need to talk to my neighbour, as they have large parties, I will check if they needed a permit, as the village office is closed on the weekends and I must know!

Definitely need to talk to the neighbours. We thought we would have the music end by 9:00 p.m., just to be considerate. Guests could stay, but no music. Also, thought we would extend an invite to the neighbours if they wanted to stop by and visit later. Bad idea or good?

I have 4 bathrooms, but only one on the main floor. Maybe just 2 nice portable toilets? Didn't know nice ones were even an option.

No need for security, I think the bouquet and garter toss won't have any sudden fights. Hmm, actually grandma might just need to be watched, never know what she might get into!

Thanks again!

I want you to seriously consider having some security for this wedding. You're anticipating at least 125 people, some of which you may not know well. This would be the perfect opportunity for an unscrupulous guest to quietly rifle jewelry, electronics, cash, checks and credit cards. I have known of couples who even had wedding gifts stolen right off the tables they were sitting on. It would be very easy for someone to go upstairs to "use the bathroom", load up their pockets, and then walk right out the front door with your stuff and you'd probably never even know it until much later.

In fact, I think I'd have luxury porta-potties brought in just to keep people out of the house!

 

[leebee]

In addition to getting a gardener/landscaper, hire a housekeeper. The bathrooms are in your house, so your guests will be, too. The last thing you need to be doing the night before a wedding is vacuuming carpets!

Definitely talk to the neighbors in advance, so they can either get with the program or make plans to be elsewhere! Seriously… we lived next door to the starting line of the University hockey team for a couple of years. As scary as that sounds, it was fine… and we really appreciated it when they gave us the "heads up" on planned parties! And definitely invite them to the party later in the day!

Don't be afraid to spend some money on making things happen. To this day, I regret that we stuck so closely to the budget set for our wedding. It meant that I made my own dress and veil, all the corsages, centerpieces, and favors for the wedding, and the church decorations. I thought it was terrific that we stuck to our budget, but what it meant in reality is that I was working and rushing around getting everything done in advance. I didn't have the opportunity to visit with family that was in town in advance for the rehearsal/dinner, didn't have time to enjoy anything, wasn't able to get everything done. If we'd spent just a little more than we did, everything would have been so much better.

 

[Callie]

I would for sure invest in getting one of the bathroom trailers. With flushing toilets and running water. If you have to skimp elsewhere, it will be worth it! Don't want people in nice wedding clothes using a nasty joy john!