Looking For Control Freaks & Worry Warts too (Part 2)

[MAGICFOR2]

Number 11 cracks me up!

I like number 9!

Well, I went to the meeting, spoke my mind, no one else chimed in and now I feel like the principal is going to think I am a big trouble maker! I am so stressed now. I would never want to ruin Elizabeth's school experience because of my big mouth but I ended up doing all the talking! My Mom said I shouldn't have. She thinks I am labeled now. I thought I was being an advocate for the group. Turns out that only one other Mom chimed in....makes me look like I am the leader of the complaints..
Thoughts?
Should I go meet privately with the principal to clear the air?
Should I let the teacher know I have no problems with her?
I am all worried now I will be labeled for the next 9 years there!

Debbie, I wouldn't worry about the principal - they are used to new school parents being concerned about their kids, and if they don't get any more "trouble" from you, the principal will forget about it. It's good you tried to make a difference! I would talk to the teacher and tell her you have confidence in her, and were just thinking about lightening her load a little and the good of the kids - we have parents take turns in the classroom once a week here for Kindergarten, could you offer to help her? I'm sure when she sees you are supportive, she won't "label" you with the other teachers.

 

[karajeboo]

Debbie - don't worry about your comments at the meeting. You are a concerned parent, that's all. I'm sure other parents were silently applauding you! You won't be labeled "that parent" until you march you happy little a$$ into the principals office and scream at him. Hmmm, I think I know someone who did that when their child was denied lunch?

In all seriousness, there's absolutely nothing wrong with questioning the class size. Nothing. And you didn't beve irrationally (you didn't mention your crush on Zac, did you? ) so you're just concerned. Now, if you are constantly harping on "my kid this and my kid that" then you would get labeled. I wouldn't say a thing now. Just let it ride.

 

[TinaLala]

Honestly parents should question their child's schooling and their teacher. There could be a child in the class that's falling apart because of something like class size or teaching technique. Be involved in your children's schooling. The only way I found out about my DD's friends and classroom issues was by being a helping parent in the classroom and watching the kids interact. Last year I didn't help in DD9's classroom and so I didn't find out that the teacher was a SCREAMER until the end of the year. Well that explains why she stoled, lied and was miserable all year long. We thought it was psychological and that she was having a crisis, now it all made sense - it was the teacher - the person she was putting her respect into was making her stressed out.

I've heard of teachers telling classrooms that she won't answer question or give special help in class, but mom and dad and HIRE her for after school help. DD9's teacher decided mid year that she didn't want to teach them their times tables anymore because the kids 'weren't getting it' - didn't matter to her that they would be learning division next year which depended upon their knowledge of multiplcation tables.

You don't need to sound like a psycho parent, but you do need to question.

 

[karajeboo]

Ally had a couple of screamer teachers last year, too. They had no control of the classroom. But I really like her teacher this year. She actually communicates with parents!!! I just got an email from her yesterday. So I'm feeling good about this year. Plus, 4 out of the 5 PFA officers have kids in Ally's class, so I think this teacher is THE 1st grade teacher.

Yes, here's it's not PTA (parent/teacher assoc) or PTO (in SC it was parent/teacher org) but it's PFA (parent/faculty assoc). I guess the cafeteria ladies and secretaries felt left out!

 

[Lovin Life]

TGIF and Happy Football! Even tho the weather is not fallish here, it is getting a little cooler, and football season means that it is fall for me! Have a great day, all!!

 

[karajeboo]

Pam - I totally agree about football season! We were in heaven last Sat with college football on the tube!

In fact, I had to get my big flag pole hung outside - I hung it last year, but didn't realize that I would need longer screws to hang in stucco, and it fell off and ripped the stucco. Luckily the builder fixed it. So I hit HD a couple days ago, and bought LONG screws, and got it hung yesterday! So my Ohio State flag will be out tomorrow morning!!!

 

[karajeboo]

Ouch! Just burned the ever livin out of my arm! Taking a little frozen pizza out of the oven, somehow I swung the pan over and hit my other upper arm with it. Stings like crazy right now!!!!

We're having our neighbors over for a cookout tomorrow. Hopefully the part will arrive today for Jeff's grill. He's driving me nuts about that stupid grill!!! So I've got my menu all planned, and just need to get the place cleaned up tonight. Tomorrow I'm getting my hair cut and highlighted - don't want Ike to blow me away and the rescuers to find me with dark roots! And Jeff will be lucky if he can get his dirty undies into the hamper.

Luckily he's golfing this afternoon so once I get off work I should be able to get the house ready before he gets home.....

 

[Debbie6221]

Thanks for the support girls! That's why I keep you guys around!
I couldn't sleep last night because my mind races and races going over conversations in my head, what I said, how I said it... I am truly NUTS!

Kara...Just because I wore my "I love Troy" shirt doesn't mean I shouldn't be taken seriously!
Sorry you hurt yourself. I believe in lots of neosporin while burns are healing.

Tammie...I already sent a note this morning telling the principal and the teacher how happy I am with Elizabeth's first week. I wanted to again make it clear that wasn't the issue. Good advice. You read my mind.

Pam...Go BEAR'S!!!!!!!!!

Tina...Everyone today said I did well with how I spoke- not pscho. I am sorry for what you had to go thru. I hope this school year is 100 times better.

Everyone was glad I spoke up and said I spoke very well but it still makes me mad that I had to talk alone. People should have chimed in and I should have sat back a bit. I can tell you this though. I am not saying **** for awhile. Not unless it is something terrible. Part of the problem is that I taught kindergarten for 12 years. I have too much information.

Enrollment did drop to 34 which doesn't seem like a big difference from 38 but it is.

 

[karajeboo]

Debbie - you never actually told us how the school responded to your concerns.....

 

[CRdisMom]

I guess Beth will be doomed because I am on the PTO. Nahhh she'd just better not be a trouble maker or I will find out about.

Do you all remember last spring I mentioned that Beth had been paid to hit an older kid on the bus? IT HAPPENED again!!!! I am livid. Turns out the girl is a 11th grader. Beth was offered $5 to annoy another kid- this time she said no my mom said that is not okay and I am not going to do it. Yea! some of my eternal preaching is reaching inside of her head. I called the school and bus company. The girl is most likely looking at a bus supsension. Who knows if it will happen or not. I'm going to let Beth ride the bus tonight to see what happens. The bus driver will have a note from the principal saying Beth must sit in the front row. I think I will go back to driving her though.

Debbie--don't worry about being labeled. Just offer to help as much as you can and kill them with kindness. I'm sure you know that you get a lot more done with sweetness than sour.

Katherine just jumped out of her crib. Gotta run....

 

[Lovin Life]

I am cracking up over the redneck references! Didn't I tell you that we're rednecks? JK. I love that comedy act about rednecks, and the one where the redneck guy reads Twas the Night Before Christmas. It's a hoot!

No talk of politics and religion from me! ITA! I don't even talk about it much w/family! To each his own.

I didn't go back and get caught up from my last post. I will, though. That has really been slowing me down lately, then I dont get to post on some days. I think that things will slow down a little. It's just been kind of crazy at work, then the girls have activities in the evening, or we go to the Y to work out, and I haven't felt much like being on the pc at night. My entire house was in bed, lights out at 10pm last night. That's a miracle! I just feel like we are running ragged. Tonight is our first home game, and we are chaperoning the band. I'm excited!

We are having a little cooler weather, but I hear it's going to get hot again next week. Like it's NOT hot now, w/low 90's during the day and low 70's at night. Living here, you'll never hear me complain that it is cold.

Kara - Congrats on being room mom! I am not at all surprised. Good for you! The past few years, I have only signed up to be a helper, not the main room mom. I never know positively that I can get off work, but I always manage too, luckily. We had our 5th grade meet the teacher night, and the request for room moms wasn't even brought up! I didn't ask! Seriously - this will be my last year for that, so I want to do it while I can. These years go too fast!!! Megan let me go eat lunch w/her thru the 8th grade. I am hoping that Taylor will be the same way. I try to do that once each 6 weeks. It's an hour and 45 min lunch hour just to eat w/them for 30 mins. I don't mind, but feel bad about work.

Debbie and Kara - Your trips are close! I am so jealous. Am I missing anyone else that has close trips?

Tammie - I hope that you are getting some rest, not just working on your days off from the kiddos!

Debbie - You do NOT sound like a crazy mom. It is too bad that you had to be the spokesperson, and feel like you were the only "bad guy". I am in constant communication w/the girls' teachers. I am not afraid to voice my concerns either. A lot of them are moms, too. They understand.

Hi Cammie, Tessa, Renee, Jillian, Laura, Tina and everone else! TGIF, and have a fabulous weekend! I wish that we had another 3-day one! Ours will be filled w/football, tonight, then all day Sunday. Of course, I will be running the errands while Darrin sits in the recliner with the remote, running back and forth to the PC to check his fantasy football scores. I will make him fold all of the laundry. We struggle w/segregation of duties all of the time, but even more so during football season. And he wants a bass boat...

 

[Debbie6221]

Debbie - you never actually told us how the school responded to your concerns.....

Well, she pretty much bit our heads off at first so that's why I ended up getting more outspoken. It's hard to explain her demeanor but pretty much implied we were being negative and overreacting. After a few of my comments she seemed to take it down a notch but pretty much said her hands were tied and that it was what it was. A lot of other Mom's chimed in to say how happy they have been with the kindergarten even though the numbers are high and said the teachers still do a wonderful job and that it all works out. The principal is a complete carbon copy of the principal I worked for for 12 years so I have her number! She was WAY too defensive so she snapped at all of us. I finally said "isn't this the forum where you would like us to present our concerns?" Today a few Mom's said I did a great job and that I was far from aggressive or confrontational so....it is what it is and now I am going to kill them with kindness.

 

[Lovin Life]

Kara - happy hump day to you too!!! Still makes me giggle...

..... and now I'm dealing with younger ones again I find it sooooo rewarding.

Lucky YOU, but most importantly, lucky THEM. I loved this story!

I don't ever think I'll be happy with my children getting older!

I'm with ya, sister! I cry every first day of school and every last day of school. Amanda and Lauren looked so cute! I LOVED the 4 B's rule! I have to remember to tell my girls that!! Thanks for the welcome back! I just get so overwhelmed sometimes, and I let some things slide. I miss you all when I am not connected here, and think of you often!

So it was a successful first day of school!! Now only 179 more days left!!

I like school so much better than summer, since I work. I don't have to worry about where the kids are and what they are doing, and tons of daily phone calls. That's sad. Summers when my mom didn't work were so much fun. I know my girls have fun, but it's different.

Anyhow - just got absolutely SOAKED going to and coming back from work - it is literally 3 min door to door walk - and I had to change down to my undies when I got home, it was that bad!!!!!! Like being on Bluto's bilge rat barges again! BUT COLDER!!!!!

Lucky you with the short walk to school/work!

Just double checked car rentals for our trip and it has COMPLETELY dropped! I am so psyched! It was 311.00 and now it is 125.00!!!!!!!!!!!!! I had a National at 165.00 with a controversial code so all is good now!

Good for you! Love it when that happens!!

And you didn't beve irrationally (you didn't mention your crush on Zac, did you? )

I made the mistake of mentioning how silly we are about the young heartthrobs to one of Megan's friends' mom, and she did NOT think it was funny. I was so embarassed! Her son does ride in our band carpool. She probably thinks I will be out to get him. Oh, no. He's not cute, though... You know I'm only joking. I am not a sick woman.

Tomorrow I'm getting my hair cut and highlighted - don't want Ike to blow me away and the rescuers to find me with dark roots! And Jeff will be lucky if he can get his dirty undies into the hamper.

Mine stays red. I'll be 93 w/red hair. I refuse to go grey! I am too young for grey! I hope that Ike fizzles out and doesn't ruin your trip. Again, those men! In my next life, I am going to be one! They have it made in the shade! But then, we couldn't be moms - the best thing in the world!

Laura - That's awful about Beth and bus! That is definitely something I would be vocal about. Megan started riding the bus home for the first time this year. Once band is over in November, she'll ride both ways. They even have a late bus in high school, one that brings them home after any after school meetings/activities/tutoring. She doesn't get home on that one until 5:30! She only does that one day/week. Darrin picks her up on her other late day at 5:30. Poor thing gets up at 5am, leaves the house at 6:15am. Next week is our week to drive the band car pool. I am thinking Darrin is going to do it. Otherwise, I'll get partially ready, pick up kids and run to the high school, then back home to finish getting ready and get Taylor to school and head to work. Luckily it's only every 3 weeks for 9 weeks, so we only do it for 3 weeks. I am enjoying mornings this year, only dropping one off at the elementary school instead of making two stops before work. Megan walked home last year, and got a ride from a friend's mom if the weather was bad. Darrin does evening pickup from Taylor's after school care. She stays at the school for their extended school day program. I love it. She loves it too, but next year in middle school, she'll start walking home. I hate them walking home, letting themselves in the house, with me being so far away. They don't stay home by themselves for very long though. Darrin leaves work about an hour before I do because he goes in earlier. Not that you wanted to know all of that!

Tammie - Thanks for trying to PM me the boo! I cleaned out my PM box. I think that's why it wouldn't accept it. Sorry!

 

[Lovin Life]

Well, she pretty much bit our heads off at first so that's why I ended up getting more outspoken. It's hard to explain her demeanor but pretty much implied we were being negative and overreacting. After a few of my comments she seemed to take it down a notch but pretty much said her hands were tied and that it was what it was. A lot of other Mom's chimed in to say how happy they have been with the kindergarten even though the numbers are high and said the teachers still do a wonderful job and that it all works out. The principal is a complete carbon copy of the principal I worked for for 12 years so I have her number! She was WAY too defensive so she snapped at all of us. I finally said "isn't this the forum where you would like us to present our concerns?" Today a few Mom's said I did a great job and that I was far from aggressive or confrontational so....it is what it is and now I am going to kill them with kindness.

Good for you! It seems like they should do something about the class size. Did you see what the law is for that? It just seems like too many for a kindergarten class. We had a tough 4th grade teacher last year. On the 3rd day of school, she was telling the kids that they were so far behind and they were never going to get caught up! She was very sarcastic to the kids all year long, and she was tough. When any of the parents contacted her about any concerns, she told the kids that they were tattletalers, and she gave them a hard time about it. Taylor begged me not to contact her about things. I spoke to the principal a couple of times, and so did several of the other parents. The kids were so discouraged. They also had tons of homework. It was a tough year for us, but Taylor ended up really liking and respecting her, and things did get better in the second half of the year. I think that Taylor learned a lot of responsibility and accountability from the experience. I really doubted that the teacher would be back this year, last year was her first at our school, but she is. I don't think that my mom talked to any of my teachers, even once, except for Open House, and I know we didn't go to all of those...


Gotta run. Have a great day, all!

 

[karajeboo]

OK, so have I mentioned the latest with BSIL??? The weekend that Ally and I are going to WDW Jeff was planning a golf weekend with his golfing buddies from SC.

So BSIL decides that she needs to accompany her DH to some conference and they need someone to watch the kids.... the same weekend. She throws a fit about it, so the inlaws have to go up there instead of FIL coming down for Jeff's golf weekend. And now Jeff doesn't want to have it that weekend, since his dad will be mad that he can't come.

So I told Jeff he can come with us, no big deal. But he wants us to have our weekend. So what's he gonna do all weekend by himself?

I feel so bad for him. But I've learned as I've gotten older, that the squeaky wheel really does get the grease, but I just can't behave that way. Seriously, why should FIL have to cancel his plans just because BSIL throws a fit? Jeff had his plans made first. Drives me nuts!

 

[Camster0307]

Hi guys! Hope everyone had a great Friday. Amanda only had a half day today, so I spent the morning running around for myself. I, too, got my hair colored, hilighted, and cut today (are we all on the same schedule for that too?) I feel so pretty!

Debbie - Don't EVER feel bad about speaking up to school administrators. I think as long as you speak respectfully and tactfully, your comments will be appreciated. You're all supposed to be on the same team, right? You have every reason to be concerned about a class that size and I think you better off voicing that concern! Good job! (and personally - I would respect your opinion EVEN more if you had a "I Love Troy" shirt on! ) Shows you're a woman who's not afraid to express herself!

I made the mistake of mentioning how silly we are about the young heartthrobs to one of Megan's friends' mom, and she did NOT think it was funny. I was so embarassed! Her son does ride in our band carpool. She probably thinks I will be out to get him. Oh, no. He's not cute, though... You know I'm only joking. I am not a sick woman.

Who are you kidding? If he was cute, you wouldn't be joking!

Glad to see you got the "Boo" in your siggy! We missed you this week!

Laura - Sorry for the bus troubles. That other child sounds horrid! How dare she try to manipulate a smaller child like that? I'd be livid!

Kara - Sorry about the burnt arm. You ok? What's the latest with the hurricane?

Hi Tammie, Jillian, Tina, Tessa and everyone else! When does Renee get back? Anyone up for DP tonite? The girls went to their dad's so I'm around!

Oh yeah, I forgot. I booked airfare for Lauren and I for her surprise trip to WDW in Feb. for her 13th birthday. I'm not thrilled with the cost - $998 for two tickets! I'm probably crazy for doing this but I really enjoyed our last trip together and want to make it an annual thing. Going in Feb. allows me to get another trip out of my annual passes (they expire in June) - that's my rationalization and I'm sticking with it!

 

[karajeboo]

Cammie - Yea on the airfare! At least it is DONE and you're locked and loaded! I saw you posted that for your "other" friends earlier!

So Jeff's golfing and won't be home for awhile yet, so I can DIS and relax! No drink tonight though - we've got friends over tomorrow so I'll probably tip back a few then, don't want to overdo it...... I gained 1.4 lbs last week with the holiday weekend....

Got 3 loads of laundry folded and put away, changed the sheets on all the beds. Got a bunch of crap stashed away so now just need to actually CLEAN. I don't mind the cleaning. It's the picking up that drives me nuts!!!

Got a little bit of Hanna today, but most of her winds and rain were on the east side. Cammie and Jillian and Tina, I think y'all will be getting some of Hanna this weekend. Hanna is supposed to make landfall around the SC coast during the night tonight. Nothing severe though, I think either a TS or a weak Cat 1. Now Ike on the other hand......

Laura - I would be soooo mad about the whole bus thing! That other child needs to be kicked off the bus permanently. That's just crazy!

Debbie - why is it I can see you with your "I Love Troy" t-shirt???

Pam - have fun at your football game tonight!

Hope everyone else has a great weekend!

 

[Camster0307]

Cammie - Yea on the airfare! At least it is DONE and you're locked and loaded! I saw you posted that for your "other" friends earlier!

Awww - but you know that you guys are tops on my list though, right?

 

[CRdisMom]

I am gunning to get that girl off the bus. I have the yearbook from the neighbor girl and we are trying to figure out who she is once we have that I will get the admins know and let them take care of it. I have to not be "that" mom that fights those fights but I am damned if I will let it happen again. We are now giving her rides to and from home. I just can't stomach what would happen to her.

Katherine is quite the climber. She has master escaping from her crib. Guess it is time to move to a toddler bed.

kara sorry about BSIL. what a pain. I feel bad for jeff and his dad

cammie - glad to hear you found air fare. Bummer it is so expensive.

Pam It's good to know that the tough teachers turn out to be the ones the kids respect. I just hope that Beth's helps her with her time mgmt issues.

 

[Lovin Life]

Good AM! I've been up for awhile, waking up a kid, making her breakfast, filling her water jug, etc, for a band event today. It has taken over our lives. One of the carpool moms is driving this AM, and we are picking up this afternoon. Poor thing is exhausted. We lost our game last night, rather badly, then went to a local pizza joint that was only open to the band and color guard after the game. It was a blast. A handful of parents went, mostly students, and I was wondering if we would be cramping Megan's style if we went, but we sat at a table by ourselves, and it was totally OK. My husband, the most impatient person in the world, was done eating and was ready to leave. I texted Meg and told her we were going to make out in the car. (We didn't. ) We had a blast, and I am glad that we went. It's a Friday night home game tradiition. I got to see (not meet yet!) the boy that she likes and talks to on the phone and texts with all of the time. They sat next to one another and were really friendly. He's cute! No, her mom does not have a crush on him, too! She had to wear the same shorts and t-shirt today that they wore last night, so at midnight I'm washing them, setting my cell phone alarm to wake me up off the couch to transfer from washer to dryer to toss, then again to take out of the dryer and hang up 30 minutes later. CRAZY. Fun times!

I have to take my new car to the dealership to have some cosmetic thing inside fixed, pick up the kids from band, and try to squeeze in grocery shopping and a workout. We got in three workouts last week! Pizza at 10:30 last night probably undid all of that though! We had eaten dinner before the game because I didn't know about the tradition, so I had my fourth meal like Taco Bell advertises. No wonder we all have weight problems...Speaking of eating, Darrin and I have a date tonight - reservations at a restaurant close to my office that is in a very cute little shopping center. We're using a gift certificate that one of his clients gave him for dinner. It's for a fancier restaurant that I want to have nothing to do with, too stuffy! This is it's sister restaurant - still nice, but not so stuffy. We are going to have some drinks w/dinner, and walk it off around the shopping center before the drive home. The girls are just staying home. This is the first time we've done this! I feel a bit guilty, but am trying to tell myself not to.

Kara - Sorry about BSIL. You just have to wonder how some people can be so inconsiderate of others, especially family - those you are supposed to love and care about. That is very selfish.

Cammie - That is so neat that you do the mom/daughter trips. You've incented me to do more one on one things w/my girls. That airfare is outrageous! I wonder when this is going to stop? I hope that we get our economy straight soon. The sad thing is that no matter how much it's fixed, the airlines are still going to make us pay these crazy fees because we are now. They're not going to take them away. I miss the good ole days.

Laura - You do need to take care of those bullys on the bus. You'll also prevent them from bothering other kids besides yours. Good for you.

I hope that the hurricane weather stays away from everyone. I thought I might lay back down after Meg left, but I am going to get caught up on some news. Have a great day, all!