Longest time spent away from spouse / partner?

[Dan Murphy]

what was the longest you've gone in the past?

Longest was a 13 day solo trip to WDW about 20 years ago. I was ready to come home after about 8 days.

 

[Threehearts]

Interesting - that’s one I haven’t heard of before. Glad it works for you two. I assume you don’t have kids?

We have 2 "kids" in their 20's and we have been married for 30 years. We didn't split households until our youngest had graduated from college and moved out. It was my idea but when we both looked at the possibilities, we were in agreement that things would work out best this way. We recently traveled to Italy together and it is such fun to call up and suggest a quick dinner or cocktails at one of the neighborhood places. We live in a city and there are restaurants, art galleries etc literally right outside our front doors.
There is no question that if we didn't have the current arrangement, we would be divorced.

 

[kymom99]

I spent a little over 2 weeks in the UK last fall. Before that, the longest was a week.

 

[luvmarypoppins]

Last year broke our record. Between 2 surgeries and rehab I was gone for 45 straight days. It was terrible. I even had to spend Thanksgiving in the rehab center.
I did get to leave for a few hours for doctors visits a few times,

 

[ncc1701]

Max would be about 4-5 nights . DH used to travel occasionally when he worked (now retired). His trips were usually 1 to 3 nights but had a few that were longer. I went to a few conferences/ trade shows for a job , but for 2 or 3 nights.

 

[GoingSince1990]

2 week business trip to Hong Kong in 2007.

 

[brockash]

Two years. Military wife.

We're military as well. I think without seeing each other at all...probably a lil over a yr. - For his longer deployments. he'd usually come home at some point for a cpl. weeks.

Having said that, if we added up all the time we've been apart in the 20+ yrs we've been married, there's definitely a large chunk of that time that we've gone without seeing each other...like probably 1/3.

 

[brockash]

Four years.

My husband lives down the street. It's a great arrangement. We're very happy and are not legally separated or plan to be. Married life wasn't so wonderful under the same roof but now we see each other when we want to. We expect to be married forever.

There is nothing we wouldn't do for one another. We love each other.

Hmmm...how crazy expensive is the arrangement? Honestly in some ways it definitely seems like a good arrangement...all except the double the bills part.

 

[Threehearts]

It isn't double the bills. We had a 4 bedroom home which was built many years ago. The energy costs were incredibly high along with all of the other home ownership expenses. Food costs were double what they are now because I am a trained French chef and I would frequently be preparing traditional French food with all manner of sauces, good wine etc. I know I did that because the marriage was on shaky ground and I thought gourmet meals would help. They didn't.

My husband and I are not sure where we will end up living when we retire in a few years, but we expect to remain apart but very much together.

I realize that our situation would not appeal to everyone, but it saved our marriage. We like each other now. We had forgotten how to do that and we lost interest in figuring out how. There is a bench in the park near where we live. Sometimes I'll be walking to the grocery store and my husband will be walking in the same direction to the bank. When we meet on the street, we head over to "our" bench under the big tree and have a talk and tell each other funny things that have gone on in our lives.

Not so bad after 30 years together.

 

[fly girl]

Military - 9 months

Non Military - 2.5 weeks

 

[slo]

A little over a week when my DH traveled to Germany with his job.

 

[design_mom]

About 2 weeks at a time and it's happened twice. Neither were work related (neither of us have road-warrior type jobs. Both of us travel occasionally, but it's generally only for a couple of days.)

The first time was when we adopted our daughter in Russia. We left our son in the care of my parents. Russia has/had a 10-business day waiting period after the court-approved adoption before you could apply for the child's passport/visa. We decided that rather than both wait it out, DH would fly home, take care of our son, go back to work (so he could save some time off for when we actually got home). I was already planning an extended leave of absence from work and was more comfortable in a foreign country than he was so it made sense.

The other time was when my mom broke her femur while they were snowbirding in Florida (from Ohio). It was over a month before mom was approved to travel home, and dad couldn't care for her by himself. So my sister and I each flew down for a couple of weeks and took care of things. I was lucky to be able to work from home during that time.

 

[mousefan73]

3 weeks ish.......I do some trips with my mom and longer ones were about 3 weeks... My DH once was in SPA therapyh ( a german thing) 4 weeks but we visited him as a family mid-way for a long weekend.

 

[brockash]

It isn't double the bills. We had a 4 bedroom home which was built many years ago. The energy costs were incredibly high along with all of the other home ownership expenses. Food costs were double what they are now because I am a trained French chef and I would frequently be preparing traditional French food with all manner of sauces, good wine etc. I know I did that because the marriage was on shaky ground and I thought gourmet meals would help. They didn't.

My husband and I are not sure where we will end up living when we retire in a few years, but we expect to remain apart but very much together.

I realize that our situation would not appeal to everyone, but it saved our marriage. We like each other now. We had forgotten how to do that and we lost interest in figuring out how. There is a bench in the park near where we live. Sometimes I'll be walking to the grocery store and my husband will be walking in the same direction to the bank. When we meet on the street, we head over to "our" bench under the big tree and have a talk and tell each other funny things that have gone on in our lives.

Not so bad after 30 years together.

I really find this interesting and appealing. I think living with someone for so long can kind of make it very easy to lose your own identity and like you say make it really easy to feel overwhelmed by the things that drive you crazy about the other, so I can see how having space could really help, make you appreciate the othet person and like you said make it easier to like each other and enjoy spending time together again. Good luck to you guys. It seems you have found what works for you!

 

[TippyThomas]

I'm pretty sure most people don't give their exact birthdates when they join a forum.

I really miss your reactions to my posts over on the other forum. Don't be a stranger.

 

[lovesmurfs]

DH's National Guard deployment to Afghanistan was the longest unbroken time.

When DF was ill with cancer (diagnosed January 2021), I spent at least 1/3 of the next two years in Maryland with my parents to help (we live in Chicagoland).

And to @Threehearts, Katharine Hepburn had you down. She once said, "Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then."

DH and I have been married almost 34 years, and we've recently moved to different beds -- we both sleep much better, although it's hard not to think I've failed somehow.

 

[MamaMermaid]

About 3-4 days... I leave tomorrow for a work trip and come home early Monday morning. Dreading it!

 

[aprilgail]

not married but my daughter and her husband go from about the week prior to thanksgiving until a few days after christmas apart- he goes to his family for the holidays and she comes to me for them. They both work from home so they can work from anywhere.

 

[lovin'fl]

Married in 2006. And around 2013 I went on a week long cruise with my mom. That was the longest to that point.

Then the hubby took a job in another state, against my wishes, in 2014. Bought a condo there because he refused to move since the kids were all in last years of HS. Almost 3 years of his driving back and forth until last graduation when we finally moved there in 2017. Though he typically only stayed there for 3-4 days at most. But cumulatively it was a lot and like I was a single parent. It was a really tough time.

Then, my elderly mom moved not long ago and I had to help her with that. We now live 14 hours away from family so I'd stay up there for weeks to help out...several times...getting house ready to sell then moving to temp apartment and storing her stuff and then moving from apartment to new house and setting up.

And recently, not long after setting her up in new house, she had a stroke. I was up there with her for all the fall. The hubby came for short visits but overall we were apart for many weeks. It is easier now that we are older and our kids are off adulting. Easier now than when the DH took a job in another state. That stint almost broke us. I still have moments of PTS and bitterness over that one.

 

[goofyernmost]

It will be 24 years next August. She has since passed eight years ago I would have to say that the last 8 years have been non-voluntarily.