Long Distance Relationships are Horrible!

[kaabost]

So I was on here the other day complaining about my wonderful dbf going back to his home. He had visited me at my home which is 1100 miles away. It is so much worse right after a visit. As stated before I generally do the "independent" thing pretty well in relationships. This one is tough. I miss seeing him and talking to him. You can't often have really GOOD conversations over the phone. How do you guys handle your long distance relationships? Argh, I'm pulling my hair out. It's so sad. Help!

 

[Evil Princess]

I feel your pain. I'm in Boston and he's in New York. It's even worse knowing that he's happy, living a life that I used to live at home, while I'm up here miserable.

We talk on the phone a few times a day. Usually they'll be one longer conversation, 20 minutes or longer. We always call each other to say goodnight. (Free nights and weekends on cellphones are wonderful )

He comes up here to see me once a month, and I go down about once a month as well.

The worst is right after he leaves. You got used to having him around again, and it feels like somethings missing the second he leaves.

It's hard, I went from seeing my BF every day (for almost three years) to seeing him once or twice a month. Not fun

 

[luvmydogs]

Hi kaabost!
My husband of 10 years and I did the long distance thing (anywhere between 500-800 miles) for about 6 1/2 years before we were married. It was very hard at times--we were young and in college for part of the time, and it would have been very easy to just decide to forget the whole thing and go out with other people who were more "geographically accessible"! Phone calls could be hard (not to mention the long-distance bills!), as well as the occasional visits--sometimes there was some awkwardness to it. It's not easy to have a relationship with someone when you're so far away. The one thing we always figured was that if we could make it through the years of separation, then we could get through about anything. And we always acknowledged when we thought there was a problem. And we REALLY did love each other, and were comitted to making it. Well, we made it through just fine, celebrating our 10th anniversary this past September. I'm so glad we stuck with each other. It wasn't easy, but it can be done! Best wishes to you both!

 

[olena]

Chris and I talked on the internet and the phone. The phone bills were bad. We rarely went longer than two months without seeing each other. It wasn't easy to build a relationship. At first, we kept on a 'friend' level. Things just developed on their own. I even fought the relationship part, because I didn't want a LD romance. He eventually moved to Atlanta and we were soon engaged.

 

[Fire14]

It's hard. My Dh and I did it for 5 years!!!!!. The Long distance phone bills were horrible. We spent a lot of time talking on internet and talked on phone at least once a day. WE tried to vist each other at least once a month. Let's just say there has to be a lot of trust in the relationship and you do truly appecite the time you have together. For me the first 4 hours were hard and if I was driving home it was extremly hard I usually cried my self to state border. I think the fact that we spent so many years apart has added an extra strentgh to our marriage. Our relationship survived the attempt to break us apart by a jealous releative, the death of his mother, several ruined plans due to hospizaton of his mother, and my Dh being hospialized and heading into surgery as I had to make drive home.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Just passing on a {hug} for you, kaabost. And one for you too, Amy.

 

[Deb in IA]

But sometimes long distance relationships lead to long lasting marriages!

 

[FunkyRooster]

I know how you feel...

I have a really really good guy friend who I was with for a little while that lives all the way in Seattle while I'm here in New York. I only get to talk to him a few times a week but when I do hear from him it makes it that much better. I hate the phone tag and email tag that we play but it makes me smile when I do talk to him. It's so hard and frustrating. There is a saying that goes along the lines of although it is one day longer since I last saw you, it's just one day closer till I see you again.

 

[Keli]

Although I did have one long distance relationship, it was so many years ago that I've forgotten most of the trials that can bring. But as a mama standing on the outside watching her dd go through a long distance relationship I can tell you that I don't think it's easy for anybody. And I seriously doubt most relationships can handle the strain. If a relationship makes it through the long distance thing then I think you need to treasure it because it's gotta be made of some tough stuff.