Living far from an elderly parent......anyone else?

[npmommie]

We live about 7 hours from my mom, when we first moved up here ( for hubby's job) she would drive up several times a year to visit, we usually would go there about 1x a year.
so the past couple years my mom who is 79 has been having more difficulty getting around. she had back surgery about 1 1/2 yrs ago and has in my opinion been worse off than before the surgery.

anyway, she is stubborn and refuses to fly or take a train up here, she is very independent and likes to follow her own schedule and drive. she is also worried about navigating thru the airport and would need help.

so she wants to drive up for easter, its such a long ride it makes me nervous her doing it all alone.
I invited my brother to come along for easter but he does not want to come up, his excuse is his son " would hate the long car ride" ( he has custody of my nephew who is special needs )

we have been going to visit her every summer for the past couple summers we spend about a week when we go, and we plan to again this summer,
but I am curious how others handle this,
does your family visit you? or do you always do the traveling?

 

[prncess674]

Why don't you ask your brother to accompany your mother to the airport and assist her with getting her bags checked. If you get her a wheelchair escort for the amount of $5 tip she will get pushed directly to her gate, then just pick your Mom up at the airport.

My parents can be stubborn too, but sending them paid tickets and instructions tends to smooth things over and they complain less since it really isn't up for discussion.

 

[npmommie]

Why don't you ask your brother to accompany your mother to the airport and assist her with getting her bags checked. If you get her a wheelchair escort for the amount of $5 tip she will get pushed directly to her gate, then just pick your Mom up at the airport.

My parents can be stubborn too, but sending them paid tickets and instructions tends to smooth things over and they complain less since it really isn't up for discussion.

oh yes my brother has already said he would take her to the airport and I got her a wheelchair escort when she was up here and flew to a nieces wedding from here,
I just think she really wants to be independent and drive.
I think I should just buy the ticket before she can object too much then she would have no choice.

the other issue is for her to get here she has to fly out of a smaller airport to a larger one then gets a direct flight to here.

 

[emma'smom]

They'll still do a wheel chair transport for the transfer at the other airport. I find when I'm paying, my parents stop complaining....

I do also think at some point you are just going to have to do more of the traveling as she gets older. It won't be forever (not trying to be a downer) but even if you go twice and she comes once---then it will be a little easier on her. You may juggle a little now---but probably won't regret it in the long run. The other thing you could do is just you can fly "home" to your mother and escort her back. It'll cost a little more since you have to buy a flight ticket, but again---if you get a good deal and can spare it...the few hundred $$ you spend won't be $$ you'll regret when your mom is gone some day!

 

[Simba's Mom]

Oh, boy-can I empathize with you! I have elderly parents who live almost 3000 miles away, and to make matters worse, I'm an only child. They come down at Christmas time for now, they don't mind flying, but they have to change planes and for them it's becoming extremely difficult. But you can't get here without changing planes. They really enjoy their time here, it's not just about visiting me-they rent a car and enjoy going lots of places by themselves. However, I can see that it won't be possible for too many more years and even if I go visit them, like I said, they enjoy being here, out of the snow, for a while at Christmas, so I don't look forward to their trips ending for their sakes.

 

[Cheshire Figment]

My mother is almost 96. She decided, when she was 94, to quit flying.

She lives up in New York City (in the same apartment building we moved into in 1941). But my sister also lives in the same building. And I go up about twice a year to visit.

She is still in reasonably good health and I'm still trying to get her to come down and visit me again.