Little girl on DS's ice hockey team and locker room question

[Beth76]

This is where you lose your arguement. You are not everyone's mother. Your presence might make some of the other boys uncomfortable.

If mothers are allowed then the it is clearly not a boy's locker room and the little girl on the team has every right to be there.

I agree. Sorry OP, you had me up to this point.

 

[BettyCv]

My daughter is a goalie on her mite team. She changes in the locker room with the boys. When the season started, WE had the coach announce to the parents that if their sons felt uncomfortable with her being in the locker room, they were to let him know and we would have her get dressed somewhere else (our rink has a separate room she could use). We let the coach know that SHE is not uncomfortable with it, but that we were concerned about whether or not the boys would be okay with it. No one has complained so far.

I agree with the PP who said that most of the kids don't get undressed completely. We have always had our kids wear a thin pair of shorts, even under their "protector shorts." We started out doing this because sometimes it is just me getting both our son and daughter (both age 8) ready and I sometimes do that in the common area. I HATE going into the locker room. Way too loud and smelly!

Our other option is to have her join them in the locker room for the pep talk right before the game, but you always have those kids that arrive late and are still getting dressed right up to the last minute.

BTW, my son also has a girl on his team, and she gets dressed in the locker room, too. Again, I have never heard a boy or his parents complain.

Betty

 

[dgtdisney]

My daughter (7) also plays ice hockey and to be quite honest, at that age 100% of the kids arrive already dressed or at least partially dressed. At that age nobody is wearing anything less than PJ bottoms or underarmour. In our facility the locker room is just an area to leave your bag and have your skates tied. If your facilities do not allow for seperate areas then all the kids should arrive dressed (boys and girls). I am sure if you speak with the coach or the league they will work something out. With the number of girls now playing hockey this shouldn't even be an issue.

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

This is where you lose your arguement. You are not everyone's mother. Your presence might make some of the other boys uncomfortable.

If mothers are allowed then the it is clearly not a boy's locker room and the little girl on the team has every right to be there.

I agree with this!!! You have lost the argument and have no right to complain.

 

[merryweather20]

Yep. I can go in as his mother, same as the dads can. I guess the difference to me is - I'm his mother, not a peer of the opposite sex. Most of the mom's are the one's in there helping the kids get dressed. But, like I said...I'll just send him with long underwear or pj's under his clothes. The hockey rooms aren't gender specific - but that isn't surprising as we don't have a girls or womans ice hockey league. We do however have rooms that ARE gender specific for the figure skaters of that age.

I agree with some of the other posters you had me up until this point. I've never seen a rink with only one locker room and our local one is 40 years old. I used to baby-sit two little boys and their locker room was striclty boys only, if they preferred that I help them with something, (usually the snaps on their hockey socks) they would toddle out of the locker room to do so. When they had a girl on the team they did any team "stuff" on the bench.

Once you let one female in, you got to let the rest of them in

As one other poster said, you're not everyone's Mom.

 

[Tinijocaro]

Really? My kids play sports and their locker rooms are gender specific. I agree if the locker room is for the whole team and not gender specific, then she does have a right to be there. I just can't imagine that being the case though. I mean, if girls and boys don't share bathrooms at that age, why on earth should they share locker rooms? Unless as someone upthread said, they aren't really using it to get dressed in. My kids have always used the locker room to get dressed and showered, and used separate locker rooms from the girls on their team.

My kids play on a league where the locker rooms are not gender specific- it's true, they do exist. Co-ed leagues. I really don't see the problem here- how often do they strip down to their skivvies? Even when my kids wait to get dressed at the rink, they don't strip down to their undies.

 

[JunieJay]

My kids play on a league where the locker rooms are not gender specific- it's true, they do exist. Co-ed leagues. I really don't see the problem here- how often do they strip down to their skivvies? Even when my kids wait to get dressed at the rink, they don't strip down to their undies.

Right. I'm not a hockey Mom, I'm a swim team Mom. I was thinking of a locker room in terms of a swim team, I guess, where they most certainly DO strip down to their undies and more.

Good points were made here. I thought there were two locker rooms, since they're are not, its perfectly understandable that the girl would be in the locker room.

 

[transparant]

This is where you lose your arguement. You are not everyone's mother. Your presence might make some of the other boys uncomfortable.

If mothers are allowed then the it is clearly not a boy's locker room and the little girl on the team has every right to be there.

I see your point - and I guess I do lose my argument with this. But I would say that moms are the majority in the locker room. The boys are used to the moms being in there. Like I said...some of the kids do come in and get undressed down to underwear (especially the summer league - no one wants to wear long underwear in 90 weather). A lot of the boys leave Sunday games and go straight to church after that (are games are early) and they do have to get undressed completely and into other clothes. Quite a few of the boys clam up and hide behind their parents when they are getting dressed/undressed when she comes in. I think thats pretty normal for 8 year olds.

Oh well...I'll get over it. ONce they are out on the ice they all get over it anyway.

 

[Sleepy]

But I would say that moms are the majority in the locker room. The boys are used to the moms being in there. Like I said...some of the kids do come in and get undressed down to underwear (especially the summer league - no one wants to wear long underwear in 90 weather). A lot of the boys leave Sunday games and go straight to church after that (are games are early) and they do have to get undressed completely and into other clothes. Quite a few of the boys clam up and hide behind their parents when they are getting dressed/undressed when she comes in. I think thats pretty normal for 8 year olds.

Oh well...I'll get over it. ONce they are out on the ice they all get over it anyway.

WOW! I can't believe that any 8 year old would want to get undressed in front of their own parent of the opposite sex- much less a person not a family member. Why would a parent need to be in the dressing room? Can't an 8 year old get dressed alone? We are not talking about needing help with last minute stage make-up or hair adjustments. If they did need help, can't these kids (boys) help each other with getting dressed? Would promote being a TRUE team.

This is clearly a case of the coach not setting limitations and teaching these kids that dressing out in uniform is a standard thing to do and one must learn how to dress themselves without the help of mommy and daddy. I also think the coach has dropped the ball by not finding appropriate dressing room facilities for the girl. This is a huge issue among the smaller ballet schools that don't think it is necessary to make a boys dressing room. Boys are not allowed in the girl's dressing room, yet it is up to the mom of the boy to demand a room other than the bathroom or closet. Sorry, but a boy should not be inconvenienced because he is different. I can comment since my son has been doing ballet for 8 years and we have dealt with this very issue.

Instead of being angry with the little girl or even her parents, the focus should be on the coach and fighting for this poor girl's rights! SHe deserves an appropriate room of her own- and something other than a closet or bathroom. I say let her use the locker room too. Perhaps give the boys a timeframe to get dressed and then later undressed. She deserves the same consideration. I don't think she should be expected to be the one inconvenienced since she is the only girl. She should not be forced to come extra early or stay late for her changings. Either have practice start later or rotate who comes in earlier and stays later for changings. It has to be fair!

 

[FayeW]

WOW! I can't believe that any 8 year old would want to get undressed in front of their own parent of the opposite sex- much less a person not a family member. Why would a parent need to be in the dressing room? Can't an 8 year old get dressed alone? We are not talking about needing help with last minute stage make-up or hair adjustments. If they did need help, can't these kids (boys) help each other with getting dressed? Would promote being a TRUE team.

This is clearly a case of the coach not setting limitations and teaching these kids that dressing out in uniform is a standard thing to do and one must learn how to dress themselves without the help of mommy and daddy. I also think the coach has dropped the ball by not finding appropriate dressing room facilities for the girl. This is a huge issue among the smaller ballet schools that don't think it is necessary to make a boys dressing room. Boys are not allowed in the girl's dressing room, yet it is up to the mom of the boy to demand a room other than the bathroom or closet. Sorry, but a boy should not be inconvenienced because he is different. I can comment since my son has been doing ballet for 8 years and we have dealt with this very issue.

Instead of being angry with the little girl or even her parents, the focus should be on the coach and fighting for this poor girl's rights! SHe deserves an appropriate room of her own- and something other than a closet or bathroom. I say let her use the locker room too. Perhaps give the boys a timeframe to get dressed and then later undressed. She deserves the same consideration. I don't think she should be expected to be the one inconvenienced since she is the only girl. She should not be forced to come extra early or stay late for her changings. Either have practice start later or rotate who comes in earlier and stays later for changings. It has to be fair!

I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that you've never dressed a 7 yr old for hockey. The first time I had to get my son dressed I wished I had written instructions on what went where, and how you attached it! Of course, we were dumb bunnies and used sock garters for his socks. That lasted a year, and since then he has the gear with velcro that hold up the socks, and then we tape it top and bottom. However, I digress...

Suffice it to say getting these kids dressed reminds me of a Nascar pit stop. There is a lot of equipment and most of it has straps, buckles, snaps or laces. My son gets dressed himself now, but when we were still helping him he would often be putting elbow pads on while we tied skates, etc. I am sure a 7 yr old could do it...eventually...but the game might be over by the time he was done!

 

[pooh17]

My son is a 1st year PeeWee and this is the first year that they separate boys and girls in the locker room. At this age, most of the girls in our area move on to a girls team anyway. This is also the first year that parents are not allowed in the locker room.

In previous years, girls would typically show up fully dressed. Boys would wear either boxer shorts or boxer briefs. Parents would help the kids dress. Nobody had a problem with it. Its part of the game.

 

[transparant]

WOW! I can't believe that any 8 year old would want to get undressed in front of their own parent of the opposite sex- much less a person not a family member. Why would a parent need to be in the dressing room? Can't an 8 year old get dressed alone? We are not talking about needing help with last minute stage make-up or hair adjustments. If they did need help, can't these kids (boys) help each other with getting dressed? Would promote being a TRUE team.

MY son just turned 7. He is one of the youngest on the team. He can put his own equipment on - but he doesn't secure things safely. The parents are in there to make sure the equipment is on their child safely and to tape what needs to be taped. No...there isn't "makeup" but there is a lot of equipment and skates that need to be tied VERY tightly. THe coaches can't go around to each kid and tie their skates. I can barely get them tied as tight as my son likes them. I don't know of any Mite teams that don't have parents in there - they are the youngest team in the league.

I'm not angry with this little girl or her parents at all . I don't mind her being in there - I just think she should give the boys 10 minutes or so. AND I do think she should have her own room to get dressed in. I don't think it's fair that her parents have to travel to some games that are an hour and a half away with all of her equipment on already.

 

[transparant]

I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that you've never dressed a 7 yr old for hockey. The first time I had to get my son dressed I wished I had written instructions on what went where, and how you attached it! Of course, we were dumb bunnies and used sock garters for his socks. That lasted a year, and since then he has the gear with velcro that hold up the socks, and then we tape it top and bottom. However, I digress...

Suffice it to say getting these kids dressed reminds me of a Nascar pit stop. There is a lot of equipment and most of it has straps, buckles, snaps or laces. My son gets dressed himself now, but when we were still helping him he would often be putting elbow pads on while we tied skates, etc. I am sure a 7 yr old could do it...eventually...but the game might be over by the time he was done!

Very, very true!

 

[transparant]

My son is a 1st year PeeWee and this is the first year that they separate boys and girls in the locker room. At this age, most of the girls in our area move on to a girls team anyway. This is also the first year that parents are not allowed in the locker room.

In previous years, girls would typically show up fully dressed. Boys would wear either boxer shorts or boxer briefs. Parents would help the kids dress. Nobody had a problem with it. Its part of the game.

Peewee is after Sprites right?

I think it goes Mites, Sprites Peewee? So these kids are about 10?

 

[pooh17]

Peewee is after Sprites right?

I think it goes Mites, Sprites Peewee? So these kids are about 10?

Yes. In my area, it goes mini-mites, mites, squirts, peewees. The 1st year PWs are 10-11 years old.

 

[Sleepy]

I don't mind her being in there - I just think she should give the boys 10 minutes or so. AND I do think she should have her own room to get dressed in. I don't think it's fair that her parents have to travel to some games that are an hour and a half away with all of her equipment on already.

I find it odd that you would expect her to give the boys 10 extra minutes when she is given none for her needs. Maybe if your son was the only boy on the team you would see things differently. I still find your comments to be a bit one sided. No offense intended.

 

[FayeW]

Yes. In my area, it goes mini-mites, mites, squirts, peewees. The 1st year PWs are 10-11 years old.

In Canada it is: I.P (Initiation Program, 4-6) Novice (7 & 8) Atom (9 & 10) Peewee (11 & 12) Bantam (13 & 14) and then Midget. It is shared dressing rooms right up until Peewee.

 

[transparant]

I find it odd that you would expect her to give the boys 10 extra minutes when she is given none for her needs. Maybe if your son was the only boy on the team you would see things differently. I still find your comments to be a bit one sided. No offense intended.

WHAT?! How are my comments one sided if I'm saying she should have her VERY OWN room (or maybe she can change with the figure skaters)?? Did you read where I said that it isn't fair for HER to have to sit in a car for an hour and a half with all of her equipment on? How in the world am I being "one sided" here? I think it would be advantageous for both her and the boys if she had her own room to dress in.

 

[Aneille]

My DD turned 6 a few weeks ago and plays on an Under 8 mite team. There are 5 girls on the team. We get one locker room and just about every game or practice we have been too all the other locker rooms were taken up by other teams.

The girls seem to gravitate to the same locker room if there is more than 1 available but sometimes boys will be there too. I've never heard anyone complain.

As others have said most do not get undressed down to their underwear.

And yes Mom's and Dad's are in the locker room. Its not an easy solution to just get 2 locker rooms because often the fathers are taking their DD's to the games. And often Mom's are taking the boys.

It is a tough situation. I think the easiest solution is just have your son wear something he'd be comfortable wearing home.

Also the girl may not be embarressed to get dressed in the locker room. Often I dress my DD at home from the waist down because its easier. More space and I don't feel rushed. I usually have my 1 year old and my 4 year old with me at the rink.

 

[Sleepy]

WHAT?! How are my comments one sided if I'm saying she should have her VERY OWN room (or maybe she can change with the figure skaters)?? Did you read where I said that it isn't fair for HER to have to sit in a car for an hour and a half with all of her equipment on? How in the world am I being "one sided" here? I think it would be advantageous for both her and the boys if she had her own room to dress in.

I do see where you have stated you feel this is unfair for her and I don't doubt that you feel that way. It's just that you also state solutions that create just as much inconvenience. I seriously wonder why your coach(es) have not made arrangements for this girl both at home and for away games. It is their responsibility. If nothing more than a few makeshift privacy curtains in the locker room.