Literally just took a shovel to my son's stuff.

[JoiseyMom]

 

[Bitsmommy]

I just have to get out the trash bag with my 4 year old and he is cleaning his room like the road runner. It would be different if he didn't have a place for each and every one of his toys, but he does and he knows where that place it. He also had a bedroom and a playroom. There is no reason for me not be able to walk in my living room!

 

[familyS]

I only had to take drastic measures with DD and DS once (they were about 10 and 12). I just took every single thing except their beds and empty dressers out of their rooms and piled in in the dining room.

DS and DD could not put anything back into his or her room until there was a spot for it. The dining room was pretty messy for about 2 weeks, but the kids finally learned to be organized and gave up the things they had kept for years but never used.

Their rooms are not always spotless, but they are much improved.

 

[disney1990]

Well, both of my daughters rooms were disaster zones when they were growing up. Yes, we went through the usual clean your room scenarios. And they cleaned up a bit only to have the rooms look the same way a few days later.

Fast forward to them now. They are 33 and 25 and both of them are minimalistic. They have nothing sitting on coffee tables. They open DVDs and throw all packaging and file the DVDs in a book. They collect nothing and they save even less.

I don't know where this came from, but I am amazed by it.

 

[hereyago]

Good for you! In our house, if it's on the floor for more than a day, it must be trash.

Last year, I got sick of the way DD was treating her clothes. She'd get them off the floor to avoid having them thrown away, but they'd be in piles on the bathroom counter, or shoved onto closet shelves. The final straw was an expensive party dress got ruined from being left on a wet bathroom counter for days after she had changed her mind about wearing it.

While she was at school, I took away every single item of clothing she owned. What she wore to school that day is what she wore for the next two weeks. I made her stand in the laundry room wrapped in a towel every other night while she washed and dried her one outfit. After two weeks of taking care of that one outfit, she got one more outfit back. At the end of three weeks, she wrote me a detailed plan for how she was going to take care of her clothes from then on, and she got the rest back.

It's been almost 18 months and she's kept everything perfectly ever since. I just put the laundry basket of clean clothes in her room, and boy are they put away neatly and quickly! And nothing left crumpled or piled anymore

That is classic.

To the OP, did you use a snow shovel? easier for scooping. DD11 would have her room be a hot mess and her friends would actually tell her to clean it up, so peer pressure can be a positive thing.

 

[Nancyg56]

My mother did this to my sister and I when we were about 8 and 10, I think. We deserved it, we were slobs and the playroom was a disaster!! After that (and we did sneak into the trash can to get out any favorite things), we kept the playroom clean for a while. But then we got messy again. You know what she did? She opened the back door and threw everything out into the yard! She told us we had one hour to neatly put back whatever we could, and everything else was going in the trash. AND she made us go to the doors of any neighbors that stuff like Monopoly money blew into and apologize for littering their yards!

I am a very neat person now.

Don't hurt yourself, though. Best wishes for a speedy and full recovery.

You brought back memories Becky i came home from school one day to all my stuff at teh end of the driveway. A note from teh Fire Chaplain was next to the pile. I was mortified that my Mom had Fr Ted (the Chaplain) come over and help her teach me and gail a lesson! I was fine for a while and then got really sloppy again. She opened my window and tossed all my stuff out! Clean for a long tiem after that!

I am going to be the voice of dissent here. I don't think you should throw his stuff away. The room may be clean, but he will remember this for a long and it may not be the way you want him remembering his childhood. Doing something like this can have a lasting impact on your relationship with your son.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a neat freak myself. But I have made the decision with my kids that it is "their" room and if they want it to be a disaster, then they can. Their rooms will be neat when they are gone. The rest of the house they do have to keep neat though. And I do make them "clean" their rooms on the weekend. Depending on the week, sometimes the rooms are better than others.

I saw that you changef your opinion but I did the garbage bag thing one time wiht my kids. They never took theri toys and their things for granted after that. My son told me it was not hard to keep his room clean when he had no toys. He is a clean freak to this day.

I call it cleaning with a trash bag, and it only takes once for them to take you seriously from then on when you ask them to clean their room. DS warned DD years ago, and she hasn't tested me yet.

I agree. One time and that is all



Lorilie Good luck!

 

[hereyago]

Wow, that's harsh. I agree with OP shoveling up a mess of toys, especially if the kid had been warned but I really don't think that I would take all my DD's clothes away (if I had a DD that is). She must have been made fun of at school and it had to be humiliating to stand in the laundry room in a towel.

I am a strict parent but that is way further than I would go.

Sometimes humiliation and peer pressure can be a positive thing.

 

[heartsy77]

op- Thanks for making me feel normal. I do this too when I have had enough!

 

[Mermaid02]

That is classic.

To the OP, did you use a snow shovel? easier for scooping. DD11 would have her room be a hot mess and her friends would actually tell her to clean it up, so peer pressure can be a positive thing.

Yes, it was the shovel my dh uses to clean off the deck.

 

[hucifer]

I hope you took before and after pictures.

 

[Mermaid02]

I hope you took before and after pictures.

I didn't. I don't want him to see what was in "the pile" and what has "disappeared". The biggest piece of crap broken things become a FAVORITE at times like that........

 

[Carly_Roach]

Good for you! In our house, if it's on the floor for more than a day, it must be trash.

Last year, I got sick of the way DD was treating her clothes. She'd get them off the floor to avoid having them thrown away, but they'd be in piles on the bathroom counter, or shoved onto closet shelves. The final straw was an expensive party dress got ruined from being left on a wet bathroom counter for days after she had changed her mind about wearing it.

While she was at school, I took away every single item of clothing she owned. What she wore to school that day is what she wore for the next two weeks. I made her stand in the laundry room wrapped in a towel every other night while she washed and dried her one outfit. After two weeks of taking care of that one outfit, she got one more outfit back. At the end of three weeks, she wrote me a detailed plan for how she was going to take care of her clothes from then on, and she got the rest back.

It's been almost 18 months and she's kept everything perfectly ever since. I just put the laundry basket of clean clothes in her room, and boy are they put away neatly and quickly! And nothing left crumpled or piled anymore

I guess no one here actually read the book Mommie, Dearest. If I'm remembering correctly, Christina had to spend a whole semester wearing the same jumper and blouse because it was a punishment from her mother.

Not that I'm commenting on the effectiveness of your particular punishment. It's just that your story reminded me of that.

 

[kristilew]

I guess no one here actually read the book Mommie, Dearest. If I'm remembering correctly, Christina had to spend a whole semester wearing the same jumper and blouse because it was a punishment from her mother.

Not that I'm commenting on the effectiveness of your particular punishment. It's just that your story reminded me of that.

That's hysterical. I didn't read the book, just saw the movie. Didn't realize I was emulating Joan.

Really, I think the "harshness" factor has a lot to do with how the discipline is meted out, and with your particular kid. Taking all the clothes away from DD (she was 11 at the time) was not accompanied by yelling or or ongoing anger on my part. She has a great sense of humor and by the third or fourth day was laughing about starting a new fashion trend. "new clothes every day? so last week!"

An action that is done and over, imo, is a far better discipline tool than ongoing arguments, complaints, or verbal beatdowns. You can send a message about the clothes, or the mess, or the whatever, without it becoming about the kid themselves. It's bad behavior, not a bad kid.

Yes, she was a little humiliated, but she also learned a valuable lesson. And there are plenty of kids who do only have one or two outfits. A few weeks to appreciate how lucky she is and to learn not to take things for granted won't kill her.

Finally, I am a firm believer in having a girl's friends believe without a doubt that her mother is both strict and a little crazy. Now that she is in middle school and facing invitations to do all sorts of stupid teen things, she has complete credibility when she says " I can't do that. You know my mom will find out and who knows what she'll do...."

 

[webprinter]

Good for you. I wish I had done that when my kids were that age.

 

[teskak]

I had been asking my 5 year old to clean her room ( I was almost twisting an ankle on some stuff) and put away her clothes that I had left in her laundry basket for 2 weeks (kid was on holidays). There was nothing that was physically impossible for her to do, she jsut did not want to.

She knew that after a certain deadline I would clean her room & she would not like the consequences.(I have learned too much from the Dis)

I cleaned it, and picked up all of her favourite toys that were on the floor & they have all gone to the garage. Once she realised I was serious she tried to go to her room but she was banished as it was too late & she was in too much trouble.

After I cleaned her room I showed her all of the toys in the garage.

She now has to do something very good to get EACH of the toys back. Not just 'not be annoying' but go out of her way to be good or helpful etc to then get her pick of which toy she wants back. So far over a week she has earned 1 toy back.

Kid is not damaged, but she knows not to push too far as mummy keeps her promises

 

[Mermaid02]

I had been asking my 5 year old to clean her room ( I was almost twisting an ankle on some stuff) and put away her clothes that I had left in her laundry basket for 2 weeks (kid was on holidays). There was nothing that was physically impossible for her to do, she jsut did not want to.

She knew that after a certain deadline I would clean her room & she would not like the consequences.(I have learned too much from the Dis)

I cleaned it, and picked up all of her favourite toys that were on the floor & they have all gone to the garage. Once she realised I was serious she tried to go to her room but she was banished as it was too late & she was in too much trouble.

After I cleaned her room I showed her all of the toys in the garage.

She now has to do something very good to get EACH of the toys back. Not just 'not be annoying' but go out of her way to be good or helpful etc to then get her pick of which toy she wants back. So far over a week she has earned 1 toy back.

Kid is not damaged, but she knows not to push too far as mummy keeps her promises

Hey- on a side note, I dated an exchange student from Perth in high school. Used to LOVE to hear him say my name..........