Letting Teens Roam Alone @ the Parks

[Corryn]

Hi everyone
I just posted a poll over on the teen board to get the teen view, but I would appreciate the parents view.

We're taking our girls, 15 & 16, down with a friend each to celebrate their Sweet 16's (they're not twins, just getting it done in one shot!)
so we'll have four teenaged girls with us. Letting them roam during the afternoon isn't so bad to me, but I am unsure about doing it at night. I mean, I did it with my sister at that age, but I am in charge and responsible for two girls who are not my own.

Both their parents are okay with the idea, I just want to know who has let their teen do it.
Also, did you let your teen roam the resort at night taking advantage of the recreational items (pool, game room, etc) while you went out to dinner?

Any ideas or stories and opinions are appreciated - from one mom to another (and dad, too!)

 

[java]

We're in this same boat. Only I'll have a 15 year old son and an 11 year old (along with the 6 and 4 year old who I was going to put in one of the kids camps one night) But I can't decide what to allow the older 2 to do? What would be safe?
For your group I think it would be ok. I mean do they go to the mall alone now? If they are used to being alone and being responsible I can't think it would be a problem. My issue is that if I let the 15 year old "hang out" he would be alone. (which I don't like)

As I type this it seems like dh and I won't have a night out alone. I'm ok with that.

 

[donac]

We let our sons do the parks by themselves but they had to be in the same park as us. They wer 18 and 13 the first time we did this.

 

[crisi]

If the teens were responsible and trustworthy, I'd let them go into any park - and not necessarily into the same park I was in - with a reasonable curfew. In the PI days I wouldn't have let them go to DTD - but I don't know if closing PI has made that more appropriate or not - I probably wouldn't let them do that.

Responsible and trustworthy involves having some street smarts too. Girls that age don't tend to get grabbed in public places by strangers - they do tend to fall for stories told by cute guys and end up in dangerous or inappropriate situations.

 

[Dizisfun]

We let our 15 year old roam with friends about 10 years ago. Some rules were that she had to stay in the same park that we were in, she had to meet up to eat with us, we assigned a meeting spot and she had to check in about every 2 hours.

 

[Danemom]

We are taking our 15 yr old DD and her friend in June. We've decided to let them have the run of the park we're in and we're okay with them going around the grounds of the resort together while we're at the resort. JMHO, but I don't see any reason they need more "freedom" than that.
We've let DD and DS13 go around our resort alone for the past couple of years as long as they stayed together and they were going somewhere -like the arcade or food court- not just hanging out.

 

[TinkerbellinLouisian]

The last trip (July 2008), teens were 16, 15, and 14. One night we got them pizza in the room (BC) while DH & I went to dinner at Captains Grille.

They know BC pretty well and another night we let them roam BC as long as they stayed together. Cell phones are a wonderful thing. And they checked in with us from time to time. Of course they ended up finding more teens to hang out with, and the large gang of them was pretty easy to keep up with.

I would let them roam the parks but my thoughts at this time in my life....(which may change next visit!) is that they can tour park without me when they pay for the trip. HA!

I just like to see everyone having fun. But as I say this may change...since my next trip may be a "visit with friends".

 

[NotUrsula]

If at least one of them knows the place well enough to know her way around well, and they have at least one phone with them, then yes, any park or your own resort.

Obviously, the "no going ANYWHERE with people you just met" rule applies.

 

[imthatgirl]

We go often enough that I would ahve no problem with it, I am anxiously waiting the day!!

But...I would never be comfortable letting someone elses child out of my site.

 

[Corryn]

Thank you for all the replies
I understand all points of views - I think I am going to sit down with the parents and talk frankly with them about what they want/don't want their daughters doing.
This will be my 15th trip home and my girls' 8th trip, so they know the parks pretty well. But like one of the teens on the teen board said about her mom, I trust you, I just don't trust everyone else - that is what I tell my girls, too.

Really what I am most conflicted about is me and DH are meeting his cousins like we do every year at Universal for Halloween Horror Nights. Last year the girls didn't come with us. The year before that, FIL was down there at the same time so he took the girls, and the years before that they were very happy to spend the night at the Neverland Club.

But this year, I am not sure what to do. HHN's runs late. The pool at the resort (ssr) will close at 10:00 and For Sure I don't want them out later than that if we did go.
So my next question is, what would you do?
Thanks for your opinions!

 

[Darcy03231]

Really what I am most conflicted about is me and DH are meeting his cousins like we do every year at Universal for Halloween Horror Nights. Last year the girls didn't come with us. The year before that, FIL was down there at the same time so he took the girls, and the years before that they were very happy to spend the night at the Neverland Club.

So my next question is, what would you do?
Thanks for your opinions!

While I think they'd be fine roaming around in the same park as you and going to the pool/food court, etc. while you're at the same resort, there is no way I would leave my kids alone at WDW while I went to Universal (and mine are 17 & 15). I would be pretty upset if you took my kid with you and then left her at the WDW alone while you went to Universal. I'd either get all the girls tickets and have them join you at HHN, or get a room on-site at Universal for that night for the girls and let them hang out there (the Hard Rock comes to mind for teens) or skip HHN, one of the three.

 

[NMAmy]

I've been taking dd and a friend for several years. (They're both 18 now.) I've let them wander wherever they wanted (except DTD at night) from the time they were about 16. They did not have to stay in the same parks as us. Heck, at home, they're both driving and going places on their own on a regular basis. Our rules are that they need to let me know if they change locations and stay in touch with me by cell phone and meet us or be back at the room by agreed upon times--just like home. As long as the other kids' mothers have given their blessing and the kids abide by your rules, I don't see an issue with it.

 

[LPNmom]

Great advice, I am taking my daughter and niece age 12 with us on our next trip and though about letting them wonder to a few rides by themselves during the trip, with cell phone in hand! They both are very responsible girls, but I'll wait and see how I feel when I get there!

 

[timzagain]

Last summer, we allowed DD and DSD (both 16 at the time) to go off by themselves, so to speak. We were in the same park, easily accessible by phone or two way radio. Sometimes, we allowed the 11 and 10 year old to go with them.

They were required to check in periodically. We had no issues whatsoever. I must add that it was daytime or early evening. Not too sure about the night time thing!

I'm not sure that I would have let them go off to a different park, and definitely not with the two younger ones in tow. Now that they're a bit older (and closer to being legal adults) I guess I'd have to give them a bit more freedom.

Having said that, I would not feel comfortable with either of them going off alone, especially DSD who is "geographically challenged" and would lose her way coming out of a paper bag! DD11 has a far better sense of direction!

 

[delmar411]

Thank you for all the replies
I understand all points of views - I think I am going to sit down with the parents and talk frankly with them about what they want/don't want their daughters doing.
This will be my 15th trip home and my girls' 8th trip, so they know the parks pretty well. But like one of the teens on the teen board said about her mom, I trust you, I just don't trust everyone else - that is what I tell my girls, too.

Really what I am most conflicted about is me and DH are meeting his cousins like we do every year at Universal for Halloween Horror Nights. Last year the girls didn't come with us. The year before that, FIL was down there at the same time so he took the girls, and the years before that they were very happy to spend the night at the Neverland Club.

But this year, I am not sure what to do. HHN's runs late. The pool at the resort (ssr) will close at 10:00 and For Sure I don't want them out later than that if we did go.
So my next question is, what would you do?
Thanks for your opinions!

Well there's no reason why 16yr olds can't make their way back to the hotel room when the pool closes (whether they are at the pool or not) and then spend the rest of the evening in the hotel room. As long as you had cell phone contact and as long as the other girls and their parents were ok with that plan.

16yr olds can get into more trouble in your hometown than they can within the confines of a resort, yk? Once everything closes down for the night they'll naturally head back to the room anyway.

 

[TinkerbellinLouisian]

I suppose I am very naive. But I would feel safer with my teens running around BC than a hotel in any other place. I mean....It's DISNEY!!!!!!

 

[java]

I suppose I am very naive. But I would feel safer with my teens running around BC than a hotel in any other place. I mean....It's DISNEY!!!!!!

Remember the perve at the Swan last year? Just because it's Disney doesn't mean there are not any creeps around.

 

[dpayne1969]

We went last year with a 15 year old & a 14 year old, plus my daughter who was 12. I let the 2 older ones go off by themselves & we met up to eat & they had to call several times a day on their cell phones. My daughter stayed with me at all times. My son is now 16 & the other kids are 15 & 13, the 2 older ones will be able to go off & my 13 year old will stay with me. My son is very responsible but him & his sister fight like cats & dogs so I make her stay with me
She would love to go with them but I don't see it happening. We had no problems letting the 2 older ones go off, they enjoyed coming & going as they wanted. My son even went back to the room for naps & would call me to tell me he was in the room. It worked out fine for us.Now I would how ever feel uncomfortable leaving them at Disney while I was at Universal, if something happened u would have to go all the way back to Disney. I would not do that but that is just mho!

 

[bams50]

I see no problem with it. Once ours hit about 15 or so, we turned them loose if they wanted. But WDW is the only place I feel comfortable doing so. We used these guidelines:

1. Age is less a factor than the individuals. We know ours are smart, and have been taught proper conduct.

2. They are clear that the rules are non-negotiable and zero tolerance. Even one minor violation completely removes this privilege.

3. They each have cell phones and are required to keep them on and pay attention to them. We reserve the right to call any time, and as frequently as we want, and they must answer. If on a ride or show, they must call back as soon as it's over.

4. On-their-own time is limited; most of our time is spent together as a family; getting away from us is the exception, not the rule. If that gets to be an issue, perhaps it will be time for me and Momma to go alone and leave the kids home- or they could pay their own way. Thankfully it's not yet an issue, because we still have a lot of fun together.

5. They will re-read and remember guideline #2!

Being that they have been taught correctly, their cards have charging privileges, so they can feed themselves; any other purchases require a phone call for pre-approval. This has worked with zero problems.

Only way this won't work is for folks that have neglected to give any discipline to their kids as they grew up. In that case, all bets are off!

 

[Danemom]

I wouldn't be comfortable leaving the girls and going to Universal. No matter how well you know your DDs friends, you can't be sure how they will act when completely unsupervised - in an unfamiliar, exciting environment, knowing you will be out late, and it would take you at least 30 minutes to get back.
I say either they also go to HHN or you and DH don't.