Letting Guests Know What You're Doing

[beachprincess23]

Okay, this is so odd and may come off completely rude, but it's really not.

Our welcome dinner is Friday, wedding Sat, post wedding breakfast Sunday and then relaxing. We are staying the following week to visit the parks, etc and letting our guests know this incase they want to make a vacation out of it as well.

Did you know what parks you were going to on a given day and put it in your guests welcome bag to let them know? Did you have to take a count of who was coming with you so you make sure you don't leave without them to go?

We don't know what to do--I mean, do we really want to have ALL our guests come with us EVERYWHERE and wait for everyone LOL.

How did this work for you?

 

[lurkyloo]

Well... we kinda did the opposite. I'd read so many honeymoon reports where the bride and groom spent the whole time running around doing what their families/guests wanted that they never really had their own honeymoon.

So we made ourselves available in the days leading up to the wedding, but didn't really tell people what we were doing after the wedding. It wasn't a big secret or anything - almost all of our guests flew home the next day anyway. But DH's family stayed, so we just let them know we wanted time to ourselves, and they had a grand time running around on their own.

 

[lpizzuro123]

We are doing a little of both. Our wedding is on a Monday and the Saturday before we are telling everyone that we will be in the Scat Cat Lounge at POFQ from 9:00pm to midnight if they would like to stop by and say hi. Sunday morning is our rehearsal and then we are taking bridal party, their husbands or wifes and our immediate family out to breakfast. Sunday night we have booked 2 pontoon boats (so this holds 20 people). We are asking guest now if they want to join us - it will be on a first get back to us basis. We called everyone we thought would want to come and if we need more we will call more.

The day after the wedding is a MVMCP and DF and I and our bridal party will be attending this (10 of us) and eating in the castle. I mentioned MVMCP to a few other and if they want to come they are making their own plans.

After Wednesday, we kind of hope to be on our own. My DF's son (who is 20) will be down until Saturday and I am sure we will see him sometimes but we are not scheduling anything specific. Most everyone is going home Tuesday or Wednesday so that leaves us with a few days by ourselves as we are leaving the Sunday after the wedding.

Linda

 

[irisbud]

This is a point of contention for a lot of brides on the boards, including myself. I think first you have to ask yourself how you feel about it, and how your DF feels about it, and hope you are on the same page.

In our case, we were on totally opposite pages in the beginning, but we have come to a compromise.

We (and most of our guests) will be arriving throughout the day on a Tuesday. We have a welcome dinner (everyone pays their own way) planned for Wednesday at 5:00 PM. The Wedding is Thursday at 12:00 (escape, so cake cutting follows), and Illuminations Dessert Party at 8:30. We didn't plan anything in the middle. On Saturday, we will let our guests know that we will be going to EPCOT and we have made a group ressie for lunch if anyone wants to join us.

Having time alone with my DF was very important to me. My view is that people are kindly choosing to join us for our wedding, but it is entirely their choice to make a vacation of it, and we should not be forced to entertain them the entire time. None of our events require that they purchase admission. DF thinks that since they are down there anyway and will want to have a vacation we should make it fun for them.

We have compromised. I don't know what will go on Tuesday and Wednesday. Thursday is the wedding, and we will likely spend the afternoon alone recharging from the early events. Then we have the dessert party. Friday is for us alone. Saturday is group day, SUnday most of our guests leave Orlando and we leave for a cruise, coming back the following week and doing 4 more days at Disney.

I hate to be redundant, but I think the most important thing in whatever you decide to do is having you and DF be on the same page. If you want alone time but he dosen't, you may not be able to get rid of his clingy family or other guests. The opposite is true if he wants alone time and you don't. I think each of you will have to handle "your" people, and if you aren't thinking the same, that may be hard or impossible to accomplish.

 

[beachprincess23]

Yeah, as much as I appreciate everyone coming to our wedding, I'm not sure that I want to spend every second with them the week after LOL. So maybe in the welcome bags I'll put something like, we will be spending the week to enjoy Disney but not list specifics.

I'm just not sure how to handle all the questions if people ask and want to come...and how to turn people down nicely.

I mean, I know my parents will be joining us on a bunch of the days, which is fine, but I'm scared it's going to be so many people and completely overwhelming.

I wanted to have a whole wedding weekend/week after with a bunch of people, but I'm thinking we may want some along time too!

 

[Lorelei528]

We're arriving on Tuesday which is when Eoghan's family is arriving from Ireland as well. I don't mind this, because he hasn't seen his aunts in like 7 years and I have only met his parents and his brother.

One of my brothers and SIL's and niece are arriving on Wednesday and we'll do dinner together and breakfast the next day. The rest of my family arrive on Thursday. We'll do our Meet and Greet dinner on Thursday night and the wedding is the next day. We're having a breakfast on Saturday together and it was actually one of my SIL's who said "we'll do a Gach Jr Family Day that day" which first I was insulted by, but then I was like, that's cool, I know we'll hang with Eoghan's family and my mom and my other brother and SIL and niece...we might not all be attached at the hip all day, it's kind of play it by ear, but I know we're all going to meet up for dinner that night (Saturday). Sunday, my entire family is leaving, so there will be some sort of good bye breakfast depending on what time their flight is....after that, Eoghan's family know it's our honeymoon, so they've already said to us, they'll leave us alone and go off on their own..but we'll most likely meet up for breakfasts and dinners on Sunday and Monday I guess...they leave on Tuesday and as of now, we're staying until Friday.

We're probably not going to be alone as much as we'd like. But with Eoghan only getting to see his mom and dad and brother once a year up until now, I really don't mind having to share him for few days.

I don't feel however it's up to us as brides to entertain everyone who comes down for a vacation. Beyond the wedding festivities, it's really up to everyone to make their own fun! That being said, of course you might want to meet up for drinks or some fireworks or something one or 2 nights depending on your situation. Everyone's family is different and expects different things I think...

(damn, that was long! Sorry!!)

 

[lpizzuro123]

MY DF and I have been together since 1992 (we are both 49). For many years we always said if we ever get married it would be at Disney - one of my girlfriends even said she would get dressed up as one of the seven dwarfs if we ever got married.

We are finally getting married this November. We told everyone about the definate date last December.

When I asked my girls to be in our bridal party (there will be three of them and we have all been friends since high school) the one I mentioned above said to my DF - I hope you don't mind all of us joining you on your honeymoon. As far as both my DF and I are concerned, nothing could be better. As we have been together for many years and have traveled to Disney many many times - we want all of our friends and family to experience Disney and to see it through our eyes. I am sure not everyone will fall in love with Disney as much as we have but we really hope to show them some of the things we love.

Most everyone is going home Tuesday or Wednesday and we actually hoped one of my DF's groomsmen was not going home so early - we wanted him to join us on a Segway tour.

I am sure we will love our alone time also. We actually booked our free night from Disney for Wednesday night. This way most everyone will have left and we can be by ourselves. I didn't want to book it earlier because we want to spend time with them. We will be there until that Sunday so we will have some alone time also.

We are definately both on the same page so this is very important.

Linda

 

[dawrobin]

I just told everyone and sent an email with details.

We are doing the welcome dinner Thurs, the wedding and dinner Fri.

I made it clear to everyone politlety that Sat we are going to MK and everyone is welcome to join and this is the only day we are hanging out w everyone since the rest of the time will be the HM. No on has had any issue at all and they totally understand.

Think about most DW- people don't expect to be entertained if it is jamaica or smth so why shoud Disney be different.

I am going o tell everyone to meet us at the GF at 8am and we will all take the monrail inot MK.

I am not going to coordinate everyone's schedules. Thsi is the time we are picking and they can come if they want but if they want us to wait til 8:30, they can come find us.

 

[Skylarr29]

This was tricky for us as well. We didn't want to exclude people but we also wanted alone time. The solution we came up with is that we will tell everyone what park we will be in the days leading up to the wedding. If they want to join us, great, if not then that is their choice. We can't have everyone pulling us in every direction and I think they understand that. I have told everyone that from the day after we are in honeymoonville seclusion and phones will be off I figure we are spending plenty of time with our guests in between a welcome dinner, the wedding, and a dessert party.

 

[DisneyBrideToni]

We are staying in Disney for a week and a half. Our families are staying for a week or some a few days after the wedding. We are going to hang out with them during that week but then we have about 4 days to spend by ourselves just relaxing around the resort.

 

[MegKate]

We are staying in Disney for a week and a half. Our families are staying for a week or some a few days after the wedding. We are going to hang out with them during that week but then we have about 4 days to spend by ourselves just relaxing around the resort.

That's pretty much what we're doing as well. The only family thing we're doing after the wedding is going to see a shuttle launch at Kennedy Space Center the Thursday after we get married.

I do want to spend time with my family - but that can be accomplished in small doses. I am not their cruise director! (Although I can do a boffo Julie McCoy impersionation - Lido deck anyone?)

 

[BecBennett]

I haven't convinced my boyfriend of a DFTW yet, but I'm working on it.


If it were to happen, I would plan about a week before the wedding for everyone to make a vacation of the trip and join us, maybe do some tours and stuff, get everyone excited about the place. This would include a welcome party at some stage. I'd probably tell everyone where we were planning to be that day, and it would be up to them to join us.

Then we would have the wedding and the reception, maybe a dessert party or something similar. The day after the wedding we would have a lunch or something as a goodbye/day after sort of thing, then it would be officially honeymoon. We might still see a few people, maybe the occassional group dinner, but mainly we'd be by ourselves.

ETA: Does anyone have any letters, emails or newsletters that they sent out to proposed guests to let them know everything that is happening, and even a first off letter to explain about the destination wedding?