Let's play the Horatio Caine drinking Game

[JennyMominRI]

On CSI: Miami, David Caruso plays Lt. Horatio “cool-as-a-cucumber” Caine, or “H” for short. Early NYPD Blue fans will remember Caruso as Andy Sipowicz’s first partner – and the guy who left the show in order to have a “movie career.”

But that didn’t quite happen. So now he’s back on TV leading the procedural crime drama ensemble (filmed in Manhattan Beach) -- which is great for those of us who want to entertain themselves on a really crappy television night (sorry Wife Swap fans). LAist, therefore, would like to introduce our version of “The David Caruso Drinking Game.”

We know that there are several versions of the CSI: Miami drinking game already out there, but we wanted to focus on the greatness that is David Caruso. You see, he plays H so seriously, so one-dimensionally, that we can’t help but guffaw at his dramatic acting tics. Without further ado, here are LAist's rules…


Get your favorite beer ready. (We thought about playing this with hard liquor, but that would be begging for alcohol poisoning before the first commercial break, so beer is the drink of choice for the Caruso.)

1. Drink a sip every time someone calls him "H" not "Horatio"

2. Take one swig every time H places his arms akimbo (on his hips).

3. Take two swigs when Horatio takes his sunglasses off for dramatic effect.

4. Likewise, take two swigs when Horatio puts his sunglasses on for dramatic effect.

5. Take three gulps when H wears a dark blazer in the middle of an investigation. (Hello, pastels…this is hot and humid Miami…Crockett and Tubbs land, remember).

6. Drink for four counts when he addresses Jonathan Togo's character as “Mr. Wolfe.”

7. Drink for five counts when he’s talking and his head is tilted at a 45-degree angle. (Don’t forget to add another count if he has his arms akimbo at the same time.)

8. Drink for six counts when the camera films him entering the scene from a low angle for dramatic effect. Some games refer to this as the "Horatio-as-Christ" shot. (Is this because he’s short? IMDB lists him as 5’11.”)

9. Drink for seven if you ever see him smile. (This is extremely rare, but it does happen on occasion.)

10. Guzzle the entire can/bottle when an incredibly hot babe hits on Horatio. Cause, really, she must have the beer goggles on. Or we should put them on in order to buy it.

If you aren’t a fan of CSI: Miami, trust us, you will be after one round of Caruso playing. Oh yeah, and it really helps if you don’t have to be anywhere early on Tuesday morning. Bottoms up!

Feel free to add your own rules...

 

[Miss Jasmine]

One would be passed out before the first commercial. CSI:Miami, one of my guilty pleasures.

 

[barbeml]

I liked Caruso on NYPD Blue, gave up on CSI Miami because of "all of the above."

I should have been drinking while watching that first season! (Of course, I would have killed myself with alcohol poisoning).

 

[hydster]

In the first 10 min I'd be wasted and unable to play anymore but what the heck I'll give it a whirl!

 

[JennyMominRI]

We should play with Tequila

 

[barrett7890]

LOL i have to show this to my hubbie, this guy drives him potty!

cami
x

 

[sajetto]

We should play with Tequila

OMG I'd end up in the hospital in the first 15 minutes!



you're not going to believe this but....I love Horatio

 

[SadieDog]

You are too funny. If I remember correctly, he used to say "ok" often on NYPD Blue. I loved his character on that show. Since CSI Miami is on at 10pm, I usually fall asleep before it's half over.

 

[cardaway]

Just check into rehab if he ever stops looking at the ground and looks somebody in the eyes as he is talking to them.

 

[SC Minnie]

This would be the ONLY way I could stand watching David Caruso. I can't stand or sit him.

 

[phorsenuf]

This is similar to the Kelly Ripa game. Take a shot everytime she either touches her hair or swings it back.

 

[powellrj]

I don't drink, so to play I would have to drink iced tea, BUT that wouldn't work because I would have so much tea in me that I would miss the last half of the show and be up most of the night going to the bathroom...

 

[slo]

This is so funny - I can hardly wait to have my DH read this when he comes home from work.

We love this show, just so we can sit and make fun of it.

Horatio is so fake and corny, that I laugh throughout most of the show.

So...count us in on this game - it'll be fun!!!

 

[Chattyaholic]

I actually like David Caruso and his Horatio Caine character on the show. I like CSI and CSI: Miami equally, but for some reason have never been able to get into CSI: New York even though I really like Gary Sinise too!

 

[What the Heck]

I'm a fan of the show, primarily because of Emily Proctor (she could question/arrest me anytime). But I do believe they have jumped the shark with their trip to Brazil, the dead/living/dead brother, etc.

 

[Dismom+two]

I LOVE this!! I have got to try it!! However, I may just DVR it and play the game on the weekend instead of risking the hangover on Tuesday morning!!

Thanks for the laughs!!

BOTTOMS UP!!

 

[Disney1fan2002]

My liver problems prevent me from being able to drink, but if I ever find myself wanting to get DH drunk, I can record CSI:Miami, and have DH play!

 

[snowwite]

That is hysterical.I would be plastered before the show was over.DH calls me a cheap date.One glass of anything and I feel loopy. Is it me or does Horatio sorta remind you of Captain Kirk when he speaks? We've....got...a ...dead...body ....over ...Here. Too many dramatic pauses and the emphAsis on the wrong SyLLable.

 

[Desiree]

Don't forget the I"ll-take-a-drink-everytime-Horatio-speaks-to-someone-like-they-are-a-2nd-grader game!!

 

[ericamanda01]

OMG! This list is too funny! DH and I just got into the Miami CSI, we love CSI Las Vegas. But sometimes we can't help but laugh at David Caruso and his way over acting! I think we should add to the list:

Drink to the count of 10 if you ever see Horatio without something in his hands. If that man doesn't have his sunglasses on then they will be in his hands or his cell phone or PDA, unless he pulls out his gun.