Let the Prom Drama CONTINUE . . . . . . . .

[horseshowmom]

Okay, my fingers are planted firmly in my ears - there will be NO sex talk around here!!! With a 20-year old DD with a steady boyfriend and a 17-year old DS who is always checking out his "options", I just want to put my pillow over my head and play ignorant. . .

Oh, I so much agree! Like you, I've always discussed everything openly with DD. One of the things I've emphasized is the impact unplanned pregnancies can have on futures and that there is NO guaranteed method of birth control other than abstaining. However, I will confess (here ) to not minding that she has to take the pill due to the severity of issues with her period (severe cramping, vomiting, etc.). If anything should ever happen , at least that would help!

Seriously, my kids must think I'm some sort of sex fiend. I am not privy to what's going on, but I have preached PROTECTION until they roll their eyes at me, turn red, and get ready to bolt from the room. I think that the first time DS heard me say "condom", he was close to fainting!!

Sheila, you have the MOST exciting school district news. My goodness, I cannot believe what you are witnessing! I still think there may be a recall yet

Well, I'm crossing my fingers. I heard last night that 4 of the board members said there was no way they were voting for somebody from Memphis for that job when there are plenty of qualified individuals already in this county. I hope they stick with it.

And I don't think it's gone over very well with how the guy I mentioned is being treated. Not only does he have a national award that I already mentioned, he's currently serving for the second time on the state task force. I mean, this is the guy you would want to hire if you were looking for somebody.

Tonight's board meeting should be interesting.

I went to the memorial on Saturday for Terrence, my friend Penny's son. It was so sad. Young people's funerals are so much worse because of the lost potential. Penny is just devastated, as is to be expected. I'm not much of a crier - didn't cry at all at my FIL's funeral last May, mainly because I was so relieved that he wasn't in pain anymore and he had lived a long life. Well, Terrence was only 22. One of his best friends got up there and gave a life sketch about Terrence. It was wonderful, and so touching. I completely lost it.

I thought about the funeral this weekend. I know that I can't even begin to imagine what that poor mother is going through. From what you said, the situation with the boy probably made it even harder for her.

We have a couple in our Sunday School class whose son (adopted) was put in a mental hospital last week due to out of control behavioral issues. They had been wrestling with making a decision about sending him somewhere for long term help when he and several others left school last week without permission, drove to a town 50 miles away, and wound up in a car accident (nobody hurt fortunately). That last episode made the decision for them, and he's being sent to the other facility later this week.

They're really nice people (have adopted 4 children in addition to their biological DD). The two younger children are from Haiti. All of the children except the one boy seem to do fine. We have some more friends who adopted 3, and one of them they just weren't able to control (attacked them with a knife at one point).

I've thought often how hard it is for people in situations like that too. They love these children but just can't seem to help them.

Not much else going on this weekend. DH and I are both battling colds and sinus issues (darn this weather). It's been very hard to sleep and we have been trying desperately to catch up some. I did not want the alarm to go off this morning.

Hope you feel better soon. I hate sinus problems.



Our weekend was quiet. We went out to dinner and that was about it. I weighed Saturday morning and was satisfied. I've been out of town for most of 2 weeks and had to eat out, but my weight had stayed the same.

I weighed again Sunday morning, and I had gained 2 lbs. Excuse me? All I ate Saturday was Cheerios and a Subway sandwich (off the low cal list).

Then I weighed this morning. Now, I've gained 4 1/2 lbs. since Saturday. This is NOT funny, and I'm getting very irate! I know it must be water, but I don't appreciate it one bit!



ETA: Update! Tonight's school board meeting has been canceled. Apparently, the board refused to meet until they were given the appropriate documents (a full packet of what they were going to rule on, not just the one page agenda they were mailed).

In fact, they aren't going to meet until 72 hours after they get the packet. And they know that he's sent somebody to a conference (as of today) who he plans to take the school business officer's place (remember she was fired last month). And they also know that you can't pay travel for somebody who hasn't been hired yet (she was on the agenda to be hired at tonight's board meeting). In fact, there's some question now as to whether she's going to be hired at all (and she's already quit her other job based on what he's told her ).

Stay tuned...

 

[mamacatnv]

I'm honest enough to admit, that while I don't think it's a problem, I'm intelligent enough to know that it could be. In their case, they're here most of the time (usually go eat and are back home by 8 p.m.), so that helps my concern some, but I know that if they decide to go that course, there's not much I could do about it (but sure wouldn't want to know about it! I'm with your DH and the fingers in the ears! ).

That is my quandary.....I know DS is very responsible and would probably be furious that I would think he is engaging in any illicit activity but it is just the way my brain works. This is his first girlfriend and knowing how caual the attitude amongst the younger set these days towards sex makes it easy for me to automatically go down that rode even if DS has not even thought about going down "that" road.

Okay, my fingers are planted firmly in my ears - there will be NO sex talk around here!!! With a 20-year old DD with a steady boyfriend and a 17-year old DS who is always checking out his "options", I just want to put my pillow over my head and play ignorant. . .

Seriously, my kids must think I'm some sort of sex fiend. I am not privy to what's going on, but I have preached PROTECTION until they roll their eyes at me, turn red, and get ready to bolt from the room. I think that the first time DS heard me say "condom", he was close to fainting!!

I hear ya, I take every opportunity to remind DS about protection and about abstinence.
One of my co-workers has a almost 19 year old DD who does not work, who did not finish HS who is lazy and does nothing. Mom works 2 jobs to support them and now the Daughter is pregnant. This sad situation has given me a lot of ammunition and conversation starters.

Friday night I had DS and GF in the car, we were headed to the basketball game. I said to them:
"I am just going to say this because I have to. I am not saying there is anything going on, I am not accusing I am just once again taking the opportunity to remind you both of the rules. There will be NO hanky panky while we are gone this weekend. There will be no telling her parents that she is spending the night with a friend and then ending up at our house. Do not get me into trouble with her parents which will then get you both into bigger trouble with me" I heard their eyes rolling around
"We clear?" ................. "yes, we get it" in that exasperated you are overacting Mom teenage tone....

Sheila, you have the MOST exciting school district news. My goodness, I cannot believe what you are witnessing! I still think there may be a recall yet

Well, I'm crossing my fingers. I heard last night that 4 of the board members said there was no way they were voting for somebody from Memphis for that job when there are plenty of qualified individuals already in this county. I hope they stick with it.

ETA: Update! Tonight's school board meeting has been canceled. Apparently, the board refused to meet until they were given the appropriate documents (a full packet of what they were going to rule on, not just the one page agenda they were mailed).
they also know that you can't pay travel for somebody who hasn't been hired yet (she was on the agenda to be hired at tonight's board meeting). In fact, there's some question now as to whether she's going to be hired at all (and she's already quit her other job based on what he's told her ).

Sounds like the school board is catching on to this guy and I would bet his days are numbered. 1400 students, that is smaller than my DS's high school and they only have 1 Principal and 2 VP's who are also the Dean of Discipline and the Athletic Director in their spare time.

I went to the memorial on Saturday for Terrence, my friend Penny's son. It was so sad. Young people's funerals are so much worse because of the lost potential.

Last fall our H.S. lost one of the kids to a car accident and I lost it, I didn't even know the kid or his parents, I just know I am a parent of a kid and I cannot image the horror and the grief.

Not much else going on this weekend. DH and I are both battling colds and sinus issues (darn this weather). It's been very hard to sleep and we have been trying desperately to catch up some. I did not want the alarm to go off this morning.

Hope you are feeling better soon.

We have a couple in our Sunday School class whose son (adopted) was put in a mental hospital last week due to out of control behavioral issues. They had been wrestling with making a decision about sending him somewhere for long term help when he and several others left school last week without permission, drove to a town 50 miles away, and wound up in a car accident (nobody hurt fortunately). That last episode made the decision for them, and he's being sent to the other facility later this week.

My heart always goes out to parents with out of control kids that no matter what they do the kids just seem so out of control and lost. My Mother had uncontrolled/undiagnosed Schizophrenia for most of her life, no one wanted to take the bull by the horns and force her to get help. Sadly her quality of life as well as that of everyone around her suffered for it. I commend these parents who in making this decision probably feel like they are giving up. I look at it as giving him the chance for a decent life, not giving up on him.

I weighed Saturday morning and was satisfied. I've been out of town for most of 2 weeks and had to eat out, but my weight had stayed the same.

I weighed again Sunday morning, and I had gained 2 lbs. Excuse me? All I ate Saturday was Cheerios and a Subway sandwich (off the low cal list).

Then I weighed this morning. Now, I've gained 4 1/2 lbs. since Saturday. This is NOT funny, and I'm getting very irate! I know it must be water, but I don't appreciate it one bit!

Drink lots and lots of water with a little squeeze of lemon. Don't know if the lemon really works with water retention but it helps me drink lots of water! I didn't even bother with the scale after this weekend!

Lets see......Blue Drinks (bar has a limit of 2 per person )and bar food Friday night with the girls after the basketball game. The drinks were great, and several husbands had to be called to pick up and drive the wives who had the "limit" of Blue drinks home. Most of our kids had dropped us off and the hubbys knew they were on call. We don't party much but when we do, we plan ahead

Saturday:
Steak and eggs for breakfast, off to Nevada City......Cheeseburger salad for lunch (yummy, but don't let the word salad deceive you, I'm sure a regular burger would have been a better choice ) ummm, oh yeah....The wine and cheese hour at the B&B, then dinner at a place called the StoneHouse : wine, grilled artichokes with garlic, parmesan cheese and Garlic Aioli sauce, asian style pork ribs, Ribeye steak topped with gorgonzola and butter, garlic mashed potatos and grilled veggies accompanied by ciabatta bread and butter.
We rolled out of the restaurant and went back to the B&B where we had Decaf Espresso & cream drinks along with Port and chocolates.

Sunday:
Breakfast at the B&B: Sliced apples tossed with cinnamon & sugar crumbs, Sweet & Red potatos with onions(yuck), sausage and a spinach & egg thing that was a lot of spinach and not much egg and no crust(yuck), followed by Mexican pancakes (yum)which were made with corn and cornmeal, topped with cheese, sour cream and green onions. We are not "foofie" foodies so we didn't eat a lot of our breakfast and when we checked out we went on the hunt for a snack. First we all had blended mochas, then we went back to the place we had lunch the day before and we all had Cheeseburger salads. We headed home mid afternoon, got back into Reno and stopped at Baskin Robbins for ice cream which I skipped, not for dietary reasons, I'm just not a huge ice cream fan.
Got home and BFF came over where we shared some triple cream Brie and sour dough ciabatta baguette with a bottle of Moscato I brought home.

I'm not getting on a scale for at least a week maybe 2!

Got up this morning and DD once again had a stomach ache (I have about had it, we think it is anxiety driven and are working with her Dr. to find her a shrink to help her deal with it) So, I was home until about 11 where DH came home and relieved me.

Thats about it....I have not yet seen DS to find out what all he did this weekend, he worked until 11 last night and had a Dr.'s appt this morning at 8:30, so I am assuming I will get all caught up with him this evening.

Sheila-I can't wait till that board meeting is rescheduled!

You all have a great Monday!

 

[Sandy V.]

Oh, I so much agree! Like you, I've always discussed everything openly with DD. One of the things I've emphasized is the impact unplanned pregnancies can have on futures and that there is NO guaranteed method of birth control other than abstaining. However, I will confess (here ) to not minding that she has to take the pill due to the severity of issues with her period (severe cramping, vomiting, etc.). If anything should ever happen , at least that would help!

DD started taking the pill for acne as a teenager to regulate her hormones and never stopped, and that fact makes me sleep better at night.

Again, I sound warped, but I tell DS that if he were to be in a "situation" where the girl tells him she's on the pill, that he still needs to take "additional precautions". Another situation where he wanted the Earth to open and swallow him whole!!

I thought about the funeral this weekend. I know that I can't even begin to imagine what that poor mother is going through. From what you said, the situation with the boy probably made it even harder for her.

We have a couple in our Sunday School class whose son (adopted) was put in a mental hospital last week due to out of control behavioral issues. They had been wrestling with making a decision about sending him somewhere for long term help when he and several others left school last week without permission, drove to a town 50 miles away, and wound up in a car accident (nobody hurt fortunately). That last episode made the decision for them, and he's being sent to the other facility later this week.

They're really nice people (have adopted 4 children in addition to their biological DD). The two younger children are from Haiti. All of the children except the one boy seem to do fine. We have some more friends who adopted 3, and one of them they just weren't able to control (attacked them with a knife at one point).

I've thought often how hard it is for people in situations like that too. They love these children but just can't seem to help them.

That's so sad, but you hit a point where you've got to do something to protect them from themselves, as well as keep your own sanity (as well as keep the rest of the family safe).

Hope you feel better soon. I hate sinus problems.

Thanks!!

Our weekend was quiet. We went out to dinner and that was about it. I weighed Saturday morning and was satisfied. I've been out of town for most of 2 weeks and had to eat out, but my weight had stayed the same.

I weighed again Sunday morning, and I had gained 2 lbs. Excuse me? All I ate Saturday was Cheerios and a Subway sandwich (off the low cal list).

Then I weighed this morning. Now, I've gained 4 1/2 lbs. since Saturday. This is NOT funny, and I'm getting very irate! I know it must be water, but I don't appreciate it one bit!

I empathize. I haven't exercised since I got back from the cruise, and I really need to. Need to motivate myself!! Hang in there, it WILL come off!!

ETA: Update! Tonight's school board meeting has been canceled. Apparently, the board refused to meet until they were given the appropriate documents (a full packet of what they were going to rule on, not just the one page agenda they were mailed).

In fact, they aren't going to meet until 72 hours after they get the packet. And they know that he's sent somebody to a conference (as of today) who he plans to take the school business officer's place (remember she was fired last month). And they also know that you can't pay travel for somebody who hasn't been hired yet (she was on the agenda to be hired at tonight's board meeting). In fact, there's some question now as to whether she's going to be hired at all (and she's already quit her other job based on what he's told her ).

Stay tuned...

Good news!!! Lots of drama. I love it!!!

 

[Sandy V.]

That is my quandary.....I know DS is very responsible and would probably be furious that I would think he is engaging in any illicit activity but it is just the way my brain works. This is his first girlfriend and knowing how caual the attitude amongst the younger set these days towards sex makes it easy for me to automatically go down that rode even if DS has not even thought about going down "that" road.
I hear ya, I take every opportunity to remind DS about protection and about abstinence.
One of my co-workers has a almost 19 year old DD who does not work, who did not finish HS who is lazy and does nothing. Mom works 2 jobs to support them and now the Daughter is pregnant. This sad situation has given me a lot of ammunition and conversation starters.

Friday night I had DS and GF in the car, we were headed to the basketball game. I said to them:
"I am just going to say this because I have to. I am not saying there is anything going on, I am not accusing I am just once again taking the opportunity to remind you both of the rules. There will be NO hanky panky while we are gone this weekend. There will be no telling her parents that she is spending the night with a friend and then ending up at our house. Do not get me into trouble with her parents which will then get you both into bigger trouble with me" I heard their eyes rolling around
"We clear?" ................. "yes, we get it" in that exasperated you are overacting Mom teenage tone....

There's a reason we (well, at least me; don't know about YOU) color our hair - it's called teenagers!!!!! I can just imagine that conversation in the car.

Last fall our H.S. lost one of the kids to a car accident and I lost it, I didn't even know the kid or his parents, I just know I am a parent of a kid and I cannot image the horror and the grief.

I mean absolutely no disrespect when I say this, but poor Penny looked like hell. And I'm sure that's how she feels. I can't even imagine how she is feeling.

Hope you are feeling better soon.

Thanks!

My heart always goes out to parents with out of control kids that no matter what they do the kids just seem so out of control and lost. My Mother had uncontrolled/undiagnosed Schizophrenia for most of her life, no one wanted to take the bull by the horns and force her to get help. Sadly her quality of life as well as that of everyone around her suffered for it. I commend these parents who in making this decision probably feel like they are giving up. I look at it as giving him the chance for a decent life, not giving up on him.

I agree.

Lets see......Blue Drinks (bar has a limit of 2 per person )and bar food Friday night with the girls after the basketball game. The drinks were great, and several husbands had to be called to pick up and drive the wives who had the "limit" of Blue drinks home. Most of our kids had dropped us off and the hubbys knew they were on call. We don't party much but when we do, we plan ahead

Saturday:
Steak and eggs for breakfast, off to Nevada City......Cheeseburger salad for lunch (yummy, but don't let the word salad deceive you, I'm sure a regular burger would have been a better choice ) ummm, oh yeah....The wine and cheese hour at the B&B, then dinner at a place called the StoneHouse : wine, grilled artichokes with garlic, parmesan cheese and Garlic Aioli sauce, asian style pork ribs, Ribeye steak topped with gorgonzola and butter, garlic mashed potatos and grilled veggies accompanied by ciabatta bread and butter.
We rolled out of the restaurant and went back to the B&B where we had Decaf Espresso & cream drinks along with Port and chocolates.

Sunday:
Breakfast at the B&B: Sliced apples tossed with cinnamon & sugar crumbs, Sweet & Red potatos with onions(yuck), sausage and a spinach & egg thing that was a lot of spinach and not much egg and no crust(yuck), followed by Mexican pancakes (yum)which were made with corn and cornmeal, topped with cheese, sour cream and green onions. We are not "foofie" foodies so we didn't eat a lot of our breakfast and when we checked out we went on the hunt for a snack. First we all had blended mochas, then we went back to the place we had lunch the day before and we all had Cheeseburger salads. We headed home mid afternoon, got back into Reno and stopped at Baskin Robbins for ice cream which I skipped, not for dietary reasons, I'm just not a huge ice cream fan.
Got home and BFF came over where we shared some triple cream Brie and sour dough ciabatta baguette with a bottle of Moscato I brought home.

I'm not getting on a scale for at least a week maybe 2!

Goodness gracious, woman, you DO know how to live!!!!! Sounds like a great weekend.

Got up this morning and DD once again had a stomach ache (I have about had it, we think it is anxiety driven and are working with her Dr. to find her a shrink to help her deal with it) So, I was home until about 11 where DH came home and relieved me.

I'm so sorry. Is there something going on at school? You hadn't mentioned anything, so I assumed she still liked the new teacher. Have things changed?

 

[mamacatnv]

I'm so sorry. Is there something going on at school? You hadn't mentioned anything, so I assumed she still liked the new teacher. Have things changed?

DD has ALWAYS had issues with her stomach, I swear she can puke on command. As she has gotten older I am getting less tolerant and her "episodes" are becomming more frequent which is getting harder to deal with. I am a "suck it up and sort it out" kind of person and she is not in the least. Her Dad actually deals with her better than I do, or should I say he buys it and gives in much more that I do. DH and I do have jobs and people who rely on us to get things done. She is having an episode almost weekly. I have talked with her teacher and to the best of our knowledge there is nothing specific going on. She loves her new teacher is the top student and gets straight A's. Therein lies what we believe is a big part of the problem.

She gets herself worked up over the littlest things and internalizes it resulting in stomach issues. She doesn't even realize she is doing it, we don't realize it half the time until it is too late. Her episodes are happening almost weekly, sometimes she is over tired, sometimes she has done too much over the weekend and needs down time, sometimes she has a test at school, sometimes she makes it to school with no issue and by noon the nurse is calling me and I have to go get her and then there are all the "unknown" days. What we have started to piece together is a lot of this is occuring on testing days. Last week she had a melt down over her hair, the other night it was her brother was not home to kiss her goodnight, sometimes it is as silly as the seam in her socks bug her or it is Monday and she does not know all her spelling words for her spelling test on FRIDAY!
I do think that some of the other issues are all the talk of her brother going to college and leaving home also he is not home as much and she misses him. She has always been very very sensitive. We kept her home from Kindergarten for an extra year because we knew she could not deal with that many kids and all the issues that a large group bring with it.

I have put a call into her Pediatrician to get some advice from her but knowing how I have huge anxiety issues and seeing what is manifesting in her. We feel that she might benefit from a counselor who can give her some tools to help her work thru some of her issues, so that she can get to school everyday and we can get to work.

It is hard, I get frustrated with her which just upsets her more and we get no where, she is not old enough to recognize what it going on and has no tools to figure out how to control it. We have talked with her at length over and over and yet, this morning......"my stomach hurts" and if we try and get her to get ready for school she starts crying and eventually throws up. Then we are really screwed and can't take her to school so we end up taking turns staying home with her. This is happening about once a week.

Princess Drama Queen is in residence

 

[mamacatnv]

Again, I sound warped, but I tell DS that if he were to be in a "situation" where the girl tells him she's on the pill, that he still needs to take "additional precautions". Another situation where he wanted the Earth to open and swallow him whole!!

I don't think it is warped at all we have told DS the same thing. My biggest fear is the girl who trys to "hold" onto him and they think one great way to do that is with a baby. He knows, he has a couple of guys he has played football with become Dad's with GF's "who were taking the pill". Of course my DS is also the one who was lecturing his BFF for not using a condom knowing the girlfriend was not on the pill (They were afraid to use anything for fear the parents would find out) now, what kind of logic is that! These are smart kids who should know better, thus I don't assume anything. I say it and I say it often to just about anyone around. DS has gotten over being embarrassed........................

Of course the day I asked him to grab some tampons and bring them to me at work since he was coming this way anyway was a whole nother horror story for which he is convinced he will be warped for life!
He made his GF do it and I just laughed at him!

 

[Sandy V.]

DD has ALWAYS had issues with her stomach, I swear she can puke on command. As she has gotten older I am getting less tolerant and her "episodes" are becomming more frequent which is getting harder to deal with. I am a "suck it up and sort it out" kind of person and she is not in the least. Her Dad actually deals with her better than I do, or should I say he buys it and gives in much more that I do. DH and I do have jobs and people who rely on us to get things done. She is having an episode almost weekly. I have talked with her teacher and to the best of our knowledge there is nothing specific going on. She loves her new teacher is the top student and gets straight A's. Therein lies what we believe is a big part of the problem.

She gets herself worked up over the littlest things and internalizes it resulting in stomach issues. She doesn't even realize she is doing it, we don't realize it half the time until it is too late. Her episodes are happening almost weekly, sometimes she is over tired, sometimes she has done too much over the weekend and needs down time, sometimes she has a test at school, sometimes she makes it to school with no issue and by noon the nurse is calling me and I have to go get her and then there are all the "unknown" days. What we have started to piece together is a lot of this is occuring on testing days. Last week she had a melt down over her hair, the other night it was her brother was not home to kiss her goodnight, sometimes it is as silly as the seam in her socks bug her or it is Monday and she does not know all her spelling words for her spelling test on FRIDAY!
I do think that some of the other issues are all the talk of her brother going to college and leaving home also he is not home as much and she misses him. She has always been very very sensitive. We kept her home from Kindergarten for an extra year because we knew she could not deal with that many kids and all the issues that a large group bring with it.

I have put a call into her Pediatrician to get some advice from her but knowing how I have huge anxiety issues and seeing what is manifesting in her. We feel that she might benefit from a counselor who can give her some tools to help her work thru some of her issues, so that she can get to school everyday and we can get to work.

It is hard, I get frustrated with her which just upsets her more and we get no where, she is not old enough to recognize what it going on and has no tools to figure out how to control it. We have talked with her at length over and over and yet, this morning......"my stomach hurts" and if we try and get her to get ready for school she starts crying and eventually throws up. Then we are really screwed and can't take her to school so we end up taking turns staying home with her. This is happening about once a week.

Princess Drama Queen is in residence

I'm so sorry. I hope that she can benefit from some counseling to give her some coping mechanisms. I am like you, a "suck it up" kinda person, so I can understand your frustration. Poor kid!!

 

[Sandy V.]

My biggest fear is the girl who trys to "hold" onto him and they think one great way to do that is with a baby. He knows, he has a couple of guys he has played football with become Dad's with GF's "who were taking the pill". Of course my DS is also the one who was lecturing his BFF for not using a condom knowing the girlfriend was not on the pill (They were afraid to use anything for fear the parents would find out) now, what kind of logic is that! These are smart kids who should know better, thus I don't assume anything. I say it and I say it often to just about anyone around. DS has gotten over being embarrassed........................

I've gone as far to tell DS that I would buy condoms if he wanted me to. He said "No thanks" faster than I've ever heard him say anything!!

 

[agnes!]

horseshowmom -

My DD's high school has over 2400 kids in it alone - I have no idea how many students are in the entire county, but your entire system only has about 1400? Did I understand that right? Wow - that's barely 2 grades in the local middle school or the local high school.

All -
I like the "I was just chaperoning her 3rd grade field trip" line - tooTOO funny.

Off of the sex talks (but believe me, we've had those) I've told my DD it doesn't matter what is going on, you can ALWAYS call me, I will come pick you up and we'll deal with it. It is not the end of the world. *Really*.

Sometimes kids think that "stuff" is the end of the world, they see life in such black and white terms, they have a hard time seeing beyond a present sadness ("I miss my friend so much.") or present problem ("everyone else at this party is drinking! I *can't* call Mom to come take me home") to the future.

When I was in high school I had a friend who committed suicide - there had also been another student in the same bunch (before I moved there) commit suicide the previous year. And around here fairly recently (past year or so), there have been a terrible series of fatal car crashes involving high school students. I'm sure at least 15 or 20 kids have died in them over a multi-county area. I've told her you do not *have* to get in a car if you don't want to, you do not *have* to make a wrong choice. I *will* come get you. If something is going on and you're feeling uncomfortable or scared, tell everyone there that you're feeling like you're going to throw up. Call ME, tell me that and I will know something is wrong. Or tell everyone you forgot to feed the cats/etc and you need to go home right now and do so or Mom/Dad will be upset. CALL ME, you do not have to deal all alone with something truly bad/sad/upsetting/whatever. I'm sure that the parents of the survivors, the friends of these children who have died before their time are concerned about their own children feeling all that pain and loss and being so overwhelmed with grief. I know I would be.

She recently had an assignment at school that she was convinvced had not gone well at all. I asked her what is the worst grade she realistically thought it could be. We talked about the possible worst grade. Once we got that out in the open I said well you'll just have to make sure you study hard and get good grades to offset this (perhaps) bad grade...and I will always love you. She eventually felt better.
And when she got the assignment back it wasn't anywhere near her worst fears.

Sometimes our kids seem impervious, but they really can take things so hard.

agnes!

 

[horseshowmom]

One of my co-workers has a almost 19 year old DD who does not work, who did not finish HS who is lazy and does nothing. Mom works 2 jobs to support them and now the Daughter is pregnant. This sad situation has given me a lot of ammunition and conversation starters.

That's what I've always done when situations like that presented themselves. DD has heard it so much that she does it herself now. For example, she came home the other day and had seen a girl that she used to play softball with. DD had gone through McD's, and the girl was working the window. They talked, and she told DD that she had gotten pregnant, the guy had immediately bailed out, and she was trying to get by working in the fast food restaurant. She hoped to be able to go to college someday. DD felt sorry for her but added that if she had just not gotten herself into that situation, her whole life could have been different. We still talk about stuff like that (and the fact that it's not the parents' responsibility to take care of any grandchildren ).

Friday night I had DS and GF in the car, we were headed to the basketball game. I said to them:
"I am just going to say this because I have to. I am not saying there is anything going on, I am not accusing I am just once again taking the opportunity to remind you both of the rules. There will be NO hanky panky while we are gone this weekend. There will be no telling her parents that she is spending the night with a friend and then ending up at our house. Do not get me into trouble with her parents which will then get you both into bigger trouble with me" I heard their eyes rolling around
"We clear?" ................. "yes, we get it" in that exasperated you are overacting Mom teenage tone....

Quite honestly, I had a very similar conversation with DD and then BF before they went down to the coast for the wedding. I also told them that I wasn't even remotely insinuating that they had any ulterior plans, and that I realized that if they did, there wasn't any way that I would really know one way or the other, but that it would be very easy for the situation to present itself, and I wanted it plainly understood what our expectations were, and that his parents would say the same thing (which they did ).

Drink lots and lots of water with a little squeeze of lemon. Don't know if the lemon really works with water retention but it helps me drink lots of water!

I think you're right about the water. I haven't been drinking as much lately. Would you believe the scale was up even more this morning???

Saturday:
Steak and eggs for breakfast, off to Nevada City......

Sunday:
Breakfast at the B&B...

Well, I'm impressed. Y'all definitely know how to eat (and I had to miss breakfast this morning, because I was out at the barn too long and didn't want to be late for work).

Sheila-I can't wait till that board meeting is rescheduled!

Me too (and I can't seem to find anybody this morning who has any idea when it will be ).

DD started taking the pill for acne as a teenager to regulate her hormones and never stopped, and that fact makes me sleep better at night.

It makes me feel better to know that I'm not the only one who feels that way!

Again, I sound warped, but I tell DS that if he were to be in a "situation" where the girl tells him she's on the pill, that he still needs to take "additional precautions". Another situation where he wanted the Earth to open and swallow him whole!!

I agree completely with you!

DD has ALWAYS had issues with her stomach, I swear she can puke on command. As she has gotten older I am getting less tolerant and her "episodes" are becomming more frequent which is getting harder to deal with. I am a "suck it up and sort it out" kind of person and she is not in the least. Therein lies what we believe is a big part of the problem.

She gets herself worked up over the littlest things and internalizes it resulting in stomach issues. She doesn't even realize she is doing it, we don't realize it half the time until it is too late. Her episodes are happening almost weekly

I can identify a little with what you're talking about (although not nearly as much as your situation). When DD was about 10, we went through a period of about 6 months when we were dealing with severe, incapacitating headaches accompanied by severe vomiting. It was on a weekly basis at that time too.

Too make a long story short, after lots of tests and different specialists, it was determined that it was her nerves. There was some turmoil going on in our extended family (much too long to go into), and it was affecting her. As it settled down, she got better.

Horseshowing has always upset her stomach too (again, the nerves). We've had more than one episode of vomiting during the night before a big competition. During a day of showing, she generally only drank Slim-Fasts (the Equate version - said it tastes better).

The positive side to this is that she worked though it over the years, and she now handles the stress of pharmacy school better than most of her friends. You would have thought it would be the exact opposite, wouldn't you?

I have put a call into her Pediatrician to get some advice from her but knowing how I have huge anxiety issues and seeing what is manifesting in her. We feel that she might benefit from a counselor who can give her some tools to help her work thru some of her issues, so that she can get to school everyday and we can get to work.

I agree that a counselor is definitely worth a try. It sure won't hurt (I'm like ya'll - the suck it up and deal with it type, but a counselor might do the trick).

I don't think it is warped at all we have told DS the same thing. My biggest fear is the girl who trys to "hold" onto him and they think one great way to do that is with a baby.

Had this very thing happen in our family. The boy had broken up with her because he found out she had been seeing somebody else. She absolutely hounded him for weeks. Would hang around while he worked at Wal-Mart. Was everywhere he went. I'm not sure exactly what happened, but they did wind up back together and started having sex (he was 17, she was 18). Before long, he started looking toward college and other things (that might not have included her). Before you know it, she was pregnant. He did marry her, but he wasn't happy about it and dragged his feet until she was 6 or 7 months along.

The upside to this is that after a period of adjustment, they went on to do very well. They are an excellent family (have 3 living children, lost one baby to a heart condition at about 8 weeks) and really love each other very much (the girl is a wonderful wife and mother), BUT they will both tell you now that if they had it to do over again, it would have been different.

Of course the day I asked him to grab some tampons and bring them to me at work since he was coming this way anyway was a whole nother horror story for which he is convinced he will be warped for life!
He made his GF do it and I just laughed at him!

I'm not too sure my DH would go into a store and buy them, but he could probably handle just bringing them from home!

I've gone as far to tell DS that I would buy condoms if he wanted me to. He said "No thanks" faster than I've ever heard him say anything!!

horseshowmom -

My DD's high school has over 2400 kids in it alone - I have no idea how many students are in the entire county, but your entire system only has about 1400? Did I understand that right? Wow - that's barely 2 grades in the local middle school or the local high school.

Yep, you got it - about 1400 students. We do NOT need 2 supts.

All -
I like the "I was just chaperoning her 3rd grade field trip" line - tooTOO funny.

Yeah, you're laughing now, just give it a few years!

Off of the sex talks (but believe me, we've had those) I've told my DD it doesn't matter what is going on, you can ALWAYS call me, I will come pick you up and we'll deal with it. It is not the end of the world. *Really*.

That's pretty much always been my perspective. DD knows what our expectations are, but I've always made it plain that people (including her parents) make mistakes, and we deal with them. The world does NOT end.

Mom/Dad will be upset.

I've always said that I'm more than happy to be blamed for anything (that's my job).

She recently had an assignment at school that she was convinvced had not gone well at all. I asked her what is the worst grade she realistically thought it could be. We talked about the possible worst grade.

We've always done this about things in general. The worst generally isn't that bad.

 

[Sandy V.]

Sometimes kids think that "stuff" is the end of the world, they see life in such black and white terms, they have a hard time seeing beyond a present sadness ("I miss my friend so much.") or present problem ("everyone else at this party is drinking! I *can't* call Mom to come take me home") to the future.

Like you, Agnes, I have always told my kids to feel free to make me the "Bad Guy" if they need to in order to get out of an uncomfortable, inappropriate, or potentially dangerous situation. Doesn't bother me in the slightest if some kids other than my own think badly of me. What's important is that MY kids know I'm there for them and we can always work anything out.

I'm glad that your daughter's grade situaton turned out okay. Your "worst case scenario" and playing that out was a great idea!!!

 

[Sandy V.]

Had this very thing happen in our family. The boy had broken up with her because he found out she had been seeing somebody else. She absolutely hounded him for weeks. Would hang around while he worked at Wal-Mart. Was everywhere he went. I'm not sure exactly what happened, but they did wind up back together and started having sex (he was 17, she was 18). Before long, he started looking toward college and other things (that might not have included her). Before you know it, she was pregnant. He did marry her, but he wasn't happy about it and dragged his feet until she was 6 or 7 months along.

The upside to this is that after a period of adjustment, they went on to do very well. They are an excellent family (have 3 living children, lost one baby to a heart condition at about 8 weeks) and really love each other very much (the girl is a wonderful wife and mother), BUT they will both tell you now that if they had it to do over again, it would have been different.

The situation you describe is something that I do worry about - not that DS is in that position, but I'm a Mom so I am always thinking about the possibilities. I'm glad that it worked out for this couple.

Like you said earlier, though, I want grandchildren, but not NOW and I don't want to raise them!!!

 

[mamacatnv]

Like you said earlier, though, I want grandchildren, but not NOW and I don't want to raise them!!!

There is no way I am starting over and DS is well aware of that. I don't worry so much about DS, I know pretty much how his brain works it is the other half of the equation (GF) that worries me.

 

[mamacatnv]

Like you, Agnes, I have always told my kids to feel free to make me the "Bad Guy" if they need to in order to get out of an uncomfortable, inappropriate, or potentially dangerous situation. Doesn't bother me in the slightest if some kids other than my own think badly of me. What's important is that MY kids know I'm there for them and we can always work anything out.

I'm glad that your daughter's grade situaton turned out okay. Your "worst case scenario" and playing that out was a great idea!!!

I agree 100% I will play the bad guy without hesitation and enjoy every minute of it

 

[mamacatnv]

My DD's high school has over 2400 kids in it alone - I have no idea how many students are in the entire county, but your entire system only has about 1400? Did I understand that right? Wow - that's barely 2 grades in the local middle school or the local high school.

Our District here has something like 60,000 students and while there is a "Superintendant" he is not a one man show and really doesn't have much power. There are a couple of other Supt. for the specific areas such as Elem, Secondary etc. but again, they are the overseer's not the law.

All -
I like the "I was just chaperoning her 3rd grade field trip" line - tooTOO funny.

Remember when the kids were 2 and you hadn't showered in a couple of days or had a decent nights sleep in weeks or a moment of "peace and quiet" since you don't know when and that little old lady at the grocery store says "oh honey, enjoy them, they grow so fast" and you think to yourself "not fast enough!" and then all of a sudden they are driving, looking at colleges, sucking face with members of the opposite sex and discussing moving out and you immediatly think "Where did the time go" "Oh, they grew up so fast" and then horrors of all horrors you share that same piece of advice with some harried looking young Mom, just as I did the other day............."enjoy every minute they grow so fast" I heard coming from my mouth and she gave me the look!

I've told my DD it doesn't matter what is going on, you can ALWAYS call me, I will come pick you up and we'll deal with it. It is not the end of the world. *Really*.

Sometimes kids think that "stuff" is the end of the world, they see life in such black and white terms, they have a hard time seeing beyond a present sadness ("I miss my friend so much.") or present problem ("everyone else at this party is drinking! I *can't* call Mom to come take me home")

Sometimes our kids seem impervious, but they really can take things so hard.

I think you make a very valid point, they are very cut and dry and there is not a lot of room to think outside the box so to speak. That is a good point to remember when you want to wring their necks.

We do have a you call for a ride no questions asked policy. Thankfully we have never had to implement it with DS. I have picked up some of his friends on more than one occassion to get them out of a bad situation or to just get them home safely when they were not capable of driving or they just needed a ride home.

I have even brought a few to my house with "no questions asked and nothing said to their parents" because I made the deal with them when they knew their parents wouldn't and they would endanger themselves/others before they would break curfew or let their parents know they were somewhere they were not supposed to be. I never want my kids in that type of situation. I always want them to know they have a way out, regardless.

Quite honestly, I had a very similar conversation with DD and then BF before they went down to the coast for the wedding. I also told them that I wasn't even remotely insinuating that they had any ulterior plans, and that I realized that if they did, there wasn't any way that I would really know one way or the other, but that it would be very easy for the situation to present itself, and I wanted it plainly understood what our expectations were, and that his parents would say the same thing (which they did ).

These types of conversations were not in the manual!

Well, I'm impressed. Y'all definitely know how to eat (and I had to miss breakfast this morning, because I was out at the barn too long and didn't want to be late for work).

That we do and we all have waist lines to prove it

DD started taking the pill for acne as a teenager to regulate her hormones and never stopped, and that fact makes me sleep better at night.

DS's GF is having trouble with her face breaking out. Would it be "wrong" of me to suggests the pill so that regardless of what is occuring or not occuring, I, like you and Sheila can sleep better at night?

The upside to this is that after a period of adjustment, they went on to do very well. They are an excellent family (have 3 living children, lost one baby to a heart condition at about 8 weeks) and really love each other very much (the girl is a wonderful wife and mother), BUT they will both tell you now that if they had it to do over again, it would have been different.

A very rare occurence that they are still together, they are lucky and I bet they both worked at it really hard.
I had 3 good friends in HS, they got pregnant right after HS and married the guy, they are all divorced and were within the first few years. In our entire social circle DH and I were the only ones who didn't get married pregnant or after a baby, we were actually married a couple of years before we had DS.

My thought for the day:
Does anyone really look at or believe the information that one is supposed to report on the 2007 Economic Census Mfg. Sector Report?

Est. time to complete 3-6 hours!
Yeah right, I have been at it now for about 6 hours and am not close to being done. I think the general population makes up the data and thus it doesn't take them anytime at all!

Good day ladies, I must go fill in the blanks

 

[Sandy V.]

DS's GF is having trouble with her face breaking out. Would it be "wrong" of me to suggests the pill so that regardless of what is occuring or not occuring, I, like you and Sheila can sleep better at night?

Hey, it couldn't hurt!!!! It did seem to help DD. And it could do wonders for your sleep.

 

[mamacatnv]

Hey, it couldn't hurt!!!! It did seem to help DD. And it could do wonders for your sleep.

You know she gets nasty cramps also.....hummmm, maybe I will suggest it. Nap time here I come

 

[horseshowmom]

Our District here has something like 60,000 students and while there is a "Superintendant" he is not a one man show and really doesn't have much power. There are a couple of other Supt. for the specific areas such as Elem, Secondary etc. but again, they are the overseer's not the law.

I'll bet dollars to doughnuts that yours is appointed (hired). That makes all the difference in the world. Most of the supts. in our state are appointed too, but we still have a few of the elected ones. The state legislature has been trying for years to get it changed to all apointed, but you wouldn't believe how much of a fight they get (well, after all of this, maybe you would ).

These types of conversations were not in the manual!

You got a manual????

DS's GF is having trouble with her face breaking out. Would it be "wrong" of me to suggests the pill so that regardless of what is occuring or not occuring, I, like you and Sheila can sleep better at night?

You think your son has wanted to die so far????

A very rare occurence that they are still together, they are lucky and I bet they both worked at it really hard.

Very rare indeed! They did have to work hard at it, and it didn't hurt that the boy came from a very good family. They're in their 30's now, but it wasn't all easy (particularly losing a baby ).

I had 3 good friends in HS, they got pregnant right after HS and married the guy, they are all divorced and were within the first few years. In our entire social circle DH and I were the only ones who didn't get married pregnant or after a baby, we were actually married a couple of years before we had DS.

Normally, I don't think it's necessarily in anybody's best interests to get married just because of a pregnancy. Getting married isn't going to change the fact and can sometimes make things even worse.

My thought for the day:
Does anyone really look at or believe the information that one is supposed to report on the 2007 Economic Census Mfg. Sector Report?

Would you believe we got a HORSE census the other day??? I had never even heard of one. DFi said, "Hey, this is something I actually know something about! "

DD was impressed that it came to her. I told her that of course, it came to her. We've put her name on all of the registration papers for all of the horses (since she shows them). Did she really think they sent those things out to everybody???

Hey, it couldn't hurt!!!! It did seem to help DD. And it could do wonders for your sleep.

Well, at least we're all honest!



Time to go home, ladies. I just finished a grant application, and it's almost 6 p.m. I'll bet DH is wondering about dinner (I was supposed to pick it up! ).

 

[horseshowmom]

Happy Wednesday! I think I'm going home now. I worked until 6 p.m. last night, and I have a board meeting tonight (now I know that brought a smile to your face ). I'll let you know how it went tomorrow!

 

[Sandy V.]

Happy Wednesday! I think I'm going home now. I worked until 6 p.m. last night, and I have a board meeting tonight (now I know that brought a smile to your face ). I'll let you know how it went tomorrow!

A board meeting tonight?!?!?! That means you will be expected to spill your guts tomorrow, young lady!!!!

Have a good rest of the day. Busy here; lots of cases for me to read today.

Bye!!!