Legalsea, the Lazy Worker

legalsea

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Joined
Feb 13, 2002
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Newswire report:

Both Senators McCain and Obama are racing to be the first to claim for their side Legalsea the Lazy Worker. It seems that Legalsea doesn’t wish to pay any taxes at all, but he has no objection to others paying lots of taxes.

Legalsea will claim that he is nothing but a normal, lazy American worker who wishes for his hours to be cut back via Federal mandate, but wishes for Harold the Overachiever’s hours to be increased to make up for the slack.

The candidates are anxious to claim Legalsea the Lazy Worker since it is anticipated that he will give random opinions about subjects he has read about in Doonsebury cartoons. Legalsea has already hinted that he knows generally where France is and he is ready, willing and able to spell Iraq, so long as it is understood that the letters “Q” and “K” actually kinda sound alike.

Legalsea has already been heard on the Rush Limbaugh show when he called in and started shouting “Babba Booey” in the middle of a question he made up about Clinton. After hanging up on Legalsea Rush then proceeded to answer the fake question at length.

Legalsea then called the Howard Stern show and screamed “Rush Limbaugh” at Howard and Robin for almost ten minutes, before realizing that he had called his mother by accident. It is reported that Legalsea the Lazy Worker missed Howard’s segment involving a hot stripper, with Legalsea stating a wish that “Tivo worked on radio”. .

As reported by CBS, CNN, MSNBC and FOX, political pundits are puzzled over why either campaign would want to claim Legalsea for their side. However, an anonymous contributor to the Disney Message board explained: “Actually, each candidate is trying to claim Legalsea the Lazy Worker for the other side!”

Legalsea the Lazy Worker had no response since he was playing Guitar Hero at work.
 


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