Legal/Medical advice

[bekkiz]

I'm not sure exactly where to go to find out this sort of information, but the Disoboards can be such a wealth of knowledge, perhaps someone can point me in the right direction


Over the past few years, my grandmother-in-law has become more and more paranoid. She's convinced that her dh is cheating on her, stealing her money etc. It's gotten to the point where we feel she is putting herself in danger (ie when she's drinving, she'll see the other woman and want to run her off the road). There's other stuff too, but you don't want to read it. Anyway, it is getting too much for anyone in her family to handle (my wonderful parents-in-law and grandpa-in-law)

MIL and FIL spoke to GMIL's doctor because they were so concerned about her, and wanted him to know what was going on at home. They've been reading up on alzheimer's and think it may be that, but wanted the doctors opinon.

Well, he told GMIL that her kidsspoke to him, and now GMIL refuses to speak to anyone (I mean, she's paraniod enough, now she thinks her daughter is out to get her). MIL is afraid to get any more involved for fear her mom will simply stop going to the doctor etc.

Finally, my questions
1) Is there a legal way to get involved without the doc telling GMIL
2) Has anyone gone through something similar with a parent or grandparet? What the heck is going on?

thank you for reading this. If anything, I just want to make my MIL and FIL's lives a little less stressful, so I'm hoping to get them some ideas.

 

[Disney Doll]

This is a difficult situation, especially in relation to the new HIPAA laws that are in effect. Grandma's doc followed them to the letter of the law, by informing his patient about the conversation with her daughter. These kind of things are an unfortunate ooffshoot of our lawsuit-happy society...medical professionals are afraid to use their judgement for fear of someone sueing them. How much better it would have been for Grandma's doc to take MIL's information under advisement and cinsider it as part of an overall assessment of Grandma's health, without telling her specifically that MIL had spoken to him. Especially since it sounds like Grandma is having some sort of problem. All doc has done is contributed to the problem. Now what we have is an elderly woman who had a mild/moderate problem which probably could have been corrected with the proper care and medication who will now be too paranoid to take any medication or even go the doctor and is definitely a danger to others(trying to run someone off the road!!!! ) and probably to herself.

If she ahs a trusted friend, perhaps she can intervene. If not, and you really feel the situation is dangerous, contact elderly Protective services.

 

[Dan Murphy]

 

[Princess Dot]

You might want to try and contact your county/state mental health department for some help. I know that involuntary commitment to a psych hospital is not what you have in mind, but at least here in NY if a person is a danger to themselves or others they can be involuntarily held in a psychiatric unit for a short period of time for evaluation and treatment . (This is not from any personal experience, LOL!).

A while ago I was working for the county attorney's office and we did a lot of work for the local psych hospital involving involuntary commitments.

But this may be too extreme unless you truly feel she or others are in imminent danger. Unfortunately you can not force anyone to get treatment if they don't want to. Is there any chance you or her children could go with her to the docs and try to discuss your concerns with her present? That way there is no privacy issue as long as she is consenting. I would hope that her doc would at least take some action to evaluate her based on what he has been told.

Good luck, this sounds like a really hard situation.

 

[clh2]

I work at a major teaching hospital. Out hospital has a Senior/Geriatric program. Maybe you could try to find something similar in your area. There are experienced professionals in that area who could offer you guidance on how to handle this situation.

Good luck!

 

[Microcell]

Maybe you need to talk to a lawyer and see about getting Power of attorney? I doubt she will voluntarily give that up so you may need to go to court. Then you can get around HIPPA, and get her some help. My MIL's mom did accuse her of stealing, and she was just cenile as far as we could tell. SHe also called her 30 times a day. My grandmother suffered from Schitzophrenia- most of her adult life though and would get very paranoid. My dad does too and has been diagnosed as clinically depressed. I call it self centeredness and I plan to ship him off to my sis (his favorite anyway) when the time comes!

 

[Cinderellafifi]

Oh, I know how frustrtaing this type of thing can be. In the last year or so of my father's life, he made my mom's life hell because he was convinced she was cheating on him! Mind you, she is legally blind and was totally dependent on him!

He would not permit me to get his Power of Attorney until he was close to dying (he had cancer) but, by then, he had stopped accusing her. You won't be able to get a POA without your GIL's permission.

However, you can petition the court if you truly think she is mentally incompetent. Although I do not know the standards, a court is not likely to find her incompetent JUST because she thinks her DH is cheating. (heck, she could be right) You have to have proof of other erradict and possible harmful behavior.

Call around a few attorneys. Someone who specializes in elder law/ trusts and estates should give you a free consult - even if it is just 15 minutes.

Good luck!