Rajah
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Aug 17, 1999
- Messages
- 9,633
Got a bunch to share this time.
One bit, I've kept from y'all until it was finalized was an update on the insurance. I wanted it done and in the bank before I posted an update on it.
Remember that insurance that my mom was denied a couple of weeks ago? The one that sent us both into a nervous breakdown? Well, thanks to the advice of some friends (y'all know who you are, bless you) my mom got her lawyer involved. All it took was mentioning the word lawyer when she called to get a copy of the policy and reason for it being denied, and all of a sudden there was a lot of backpedaling. Now, all of a sudden, 24 hours later she was promised the amount of insurance he'd had *before* he increased it just a few months prior. So while not as much, it was still a good enough amount that she shouldn't have to declare bankruptcy. And even though bankrupty was created for this kind of situation, that's a HUGE thing to her and made a huge difference.
In the meantime, out of that ultra-low of two weeks ago, she established a dialog with the company nurse (as did I), got the phone number of a Christian counselor she's willing to talk to (she still hasn't gone to see him face to face yet, but at least she's talking), an accountant who *makes house calls* and is seriously helping her out with organizing the finances, and got set up with the dad of the father/son law firm. She didn't like or have much confidence in the son, but the dad she said is much better and she's willing to listen to him much more than she was the son. He's said he'll step in and take care of the credit cards, so things are moving forward there, too. And he said what so many others told us: insurance companies frequently will wrongfully deny a claim because they bank on most people not knowing or not being willing to fight it. The fact that they paid up as soon as she mentioned the word lawyer meant they didn't have a legal leg to stand on and they knew it.
She also was recommended to a church that we tried out on Sunday, and it worked well for a first visit. The sermon was like it was custom-made for my mom, and was exactly what she needed to hear right now, so that was worthwhile.
So though it was a major problem being denied the first 24 hours, a lot of good came out of it. She now has that insurance money in the bank (for now, anyway, until bills must be paid) so I feel it's safe to say it came through after all. Thanks for all the prayers.
Other than that, things were going pretty well until Sunday afternoon. Then my mom decided she had to go through my dad's breifcase, which my DH had been storing away because there was some upsetting stuff in there she didn't need to read.
She got into it anyway, and sure enough, broke apart again. She did find some paperwork the lawyer and accountant needed, but she's been very frail emotionally this week because of it. The paperwork in his briefcase showed just how his mind had been deteriorating over the last few months, and it was very depressing to read.
That was holding fairly steady until last night. Then, she did what has to be the absolute stupidest act she's done since this whole thing started. She got ahold of and read the medical examiner's report. Now for those not familiar with them, the ME reports are written in greusome detail meant for medical, law enforcement, and law personnel. They're not meant for the average person, and they included pictures/sketches and details she *really* didn't need to see/read. All the good that had happened by her *not* going upstairs the night he killed himself was undone by her reading that report. And it was pointless -- she didn't *need* to read it. My DH had read it, and could have and would have answered her questions. The lawyer could have read it and told her it didn't have the bit of information he needed. (No, I haven't read it, nor will I)
Needless to say, she is in *horrible* shape again, or at least was last night. I haven't been able to talk to her this morning because she's at court for probate (and I'm hating myself for not taking the day off and going with her ) and hasn't gotten back yet.
And of course, she couldn't reach her counselor, the company nurse, or the church grief counselor last night when she really needed to talk. She did reach her brother, thankfully, and he was able to help her a bit. He also hopefully has convinced her she needs to go in in person and have a face-to-face with her counselor now.
Anyway, obviously, your continued prayers would be appreciated. This is far from over.
One bit, I've kept from y'all until it was finalized was an update on the insurance. I wanted it done and in the bank before I posted an update on it.
Remember that insurance that my mom was denied a couple of weeks ago? The one that sent us both into a nervous breakdown? Well, thanks to the advice of some friends (y'all know who you are, bless you) my mom got her lawyer involved. All it took was mentioning the word lawyer when she called to get a copy of the policy and reason for it being denied, and all of a sudden there was a lot of backpedaling. Now, all of a sudden, 24 hours later she was promised the amount of insurance he'd had *before* he increased it just a few months prior. So while not as much, it was still a good enough amount that she shouldn't have to declare bankruptcy. And even though bankrupty was created for this kind of situation, that's a HUGE thing to her and made a huge difference.
In the meantime, out of that ultra-low of two weeks ago, she established a dialog with the company nurse (as did I), got the phone number of a Christian counselor she's willing to talk to (she still hasn't gone to see him face to face yet, but at least she's talking), an accountant who *makes house calls* and is seriously helping her out with organizing the finances, and got set up with the dad of the father/son law firm. She didn't like or have much confidence in the son, but the dad she said is much better and she's willing to listen to him much more than she was the son. He's said he'll step in and take care of the credit cards, so things are moving forward there, too. And he said what so many others told us: insurance companies frequently will wrongfully deny a claim because they bank on most people not knowing or not being willing to fight it. The fact that they paid up as soon as she mentioned the word lawyer meant they didn't have a legal leg to stand on and they knew it.
She also was recommended to a church that we tried out on Sunday, and it worked well for a first visit. The sermon was like it was custom-made for my mom, and was exactly what she needed to hear right now, so that was worthwhile.
So though it was a major problem being denied the first 24 hours, a lot of good came out of it. She now has that insurance money in the bank (for now, anyway, until bills must be paid) so I feel it's safe to say it came through after all. Thanks for all the prayers.
Other than that, things were going pretty well until Sunday afternoon. Then my mom decided she had to go through my dad's breifcase, which my DH had been storing away because there was some upsetting stuff in there she didn't need to read.
She got into it anyway, and sure enough, broke apart again. She did find some paperwork the lawyer and accountant needed, but she's been very frail emotionally this week because of it. The paperwork in his briefcase showed just how his mind had been deteriorating over the last few months, and it was very depressing to read.That was holding fairly steady until last night. Then, she did what has to be the absolute stupidest act she's done since this whole thing started. She got ahold of and read the medical examiner's report. Now for those not familiar with them, the ME reports are written in greusome detail meant for medical, law enforcement, and law personnel. They're not meant for the average person, and they included pictures/sketches and details she *really* didn't need to see/read. All the good that had happened by her *not* going upstairs the night he killed himself was undone by her reading that report. And it was pointless -- she didn't *need* to read it. My DH had read it, and could have and would have answered her questions. The lawyer could have read it and told her it didn't have the bit of information he needed. (No, I haven't read it, nor will I)
Needless to say, she is in *horrible* shape again, or at least was last night. I haven't been able to talk to her this morning because she's at court for probate (and I'm hating myself for not taking the day off and going with her
) and hasn't gotten back yet.And of course, she couldn't reach her counselor, the company nurse, or the church grief counselor last night when she really needed to talk.
She did reach her brother, thankfully, and he was able to help her a bit. He also hopefully has convinced her she needs to go in in person and have a face-to-face with her counselor now.Anyway, obviously, your continued prayers would be appreciated. This is far from over.
