Last update ~ ex's-funeral

[PaulaSue]

bumping this since updating the original post didn't.

 

[NAB]

I think that is a strange question....what would you wear normally to someones funeral. Black does not mean you are still in love with that person. Funerals are really different these days. Some do dress causal, I don't think I would be wearing flip flops I think that is a little disrespectful. It is not a beach.

 

[SC Minnie]

The fancy dress might be a little too much. Do you have a simple dark skirt or dress pants?

 

[NikiM20]

when my boyfriend died I wore nice black pants and a sweater

ETA he was my boyfriend when he died, but this was before DH I didnt want anyone to think i cheated on DH

 

[RadioNate]

I think you need to take the "ex boyfriend" part out of the whole thing.

If you didn't date, and he was just a friend would you go? What would you wear then? If your best girlfriend from the same time period passed what would you wear to her funeral?

I think you are thinking about the ex boyfriend part WAY too much. I doubt anyone will even know your the ex girlfriend except maybe his parents and I think they will be too busy grieving their son to think much of your appearance one way or another.

 

[PaulaSue]

Thanks everyone....

I think you are thinking about the ex boyfriend part WAY too much. I doubt anyone will even know your the ex girlfriend except maybe his parents and I think they will be too busy grieving their son to think much of your appearance one way or another.

Thank you, I have been thinking of this way too much. It is nice to see it though others eyes.

P.S. I will know about 50 of the people there from our group of friends, school and his family. I guess if I was in the same place I wouldn't care either, just that they showed up.

Now off to find choice number 3.

 

[JLTraveling]

Definitely go to the funeral...and like others have said, it really doesn't matter much what you wear. My mom died unexpectedly in Dec 2004 (exactly three weeks before Christmas, talk about timing). We were living in New Orleans at the time, but were originally from FL. We actually had two services, a cremation and small service in NOLA, then one for the family in FL. I cannot stress to you enough how important is was to us that each and every person showed up. My mom's cousin in Blioxi, who we hadn't spoken to in at least 10 years, came first, as he was the relative in closest physical proximity to us. Then my mom's sister, with whom she had had a very contentious relationship over the years came from FL to stay with us for a few days. My mom passed away while camping in a state park, and the campground hosts came to the NOLA funeral (and became extremely good friends with my Dad, they still talk on the phone once a week). At the FL funeral, we weren't sure what to expect, as we had been away for five years. But the church was packed!! My mom's old work friends, people who attended the church she was raised in....I can't remember everyone specifically, but it meant SO much to us to realize that all those people took time out to remember her. We still have all of the cards and letters that were sent as well. And honestly, I couldn't begin to remember, much less care, what a single person was wearing.
Go, speak to the parents, and also send a letter or card. Wear whatever you feel comfortable in, and know that the family will appreciate it more than you can imagine. I'm sorry for your loss.

 

[Quinn222]

No red roses on the dress. Plain black or dark dress or skirt with subdued blouse or black or dark pantsuit.

 

[PaulaSue]

Last update~

I went today and wore the capries. I felt much more comfy and considering how nervous I was I needed all the strenght I could get.

I didn't stay long, not even as long as I thought I would. I couldn't bear to start crying there in front of everyone. Later, I did go to the cemertary to watch the service there from afar. He is resting very near my grandparents so I just had to walk down a little.

 

[tinkerbell1967]

I just sent you a PM!