Just popping on here to post 'cause I need a shoulder (shoulders) to cry on.
DD just called. They got their marriage license. I was wrong - there is no waiting period. So I expect we'll be getting a "we're married" call any day now.
What has me so upset though is that she called to say they were heading back to Charlotte. She had told her boss she'd be late, if she came in at all, but she said if they leave now she may make it on time. That's a bunch of b***. She usually doesn't care if she gets there on time, and her boss wouldn't care either. She (they) just didn't want to come out to the house. And I really don't think it's her as much as her fiance. She was 15 frickin miles from the house and couldn't come out to say hello. I haven't seen her since she came home to visit three days after I got home from the hospital.
When she first called at 10:30 she asked if DH was home. I told her he was still sleeping but was getting up soon and going to work. I asked her if they were coming over to talk to DH. She said no. This is an on-going problem. DH wants to talk to her fiance and wants him to be proper in asking for DD's hand in marriage. DH has some questions for him. Originally when DD came home at Christmas time and announced her engagement she said that her fiance was going to talk to DH then. Supposedly he got nervous and never talked to DH. There have been several times that they were going to come up to talk and "something came up." They were supposed to come up and talk the Sunday after I came home from the hospital. (That's been 5 weeks!) She called and said they were on their way, then she called and said that they'd be late 'cause they had some minor car problems, then she called at 7 p.m. and said that they wouldn't be coming. When I talked to her the next day I found out that they got into an arguement and that's when "they" decided that they weren't coming to the house...at that time, they were 2 miles from the house! This whole thing has hurt both of us but the fact that DD has let the situation go on without her fiance talking to DH has really hurt DH. Now he's past the point of being hurt and he's just plain mad. Now he says that he won't go to the wedding even if he is invited. (But I doubt we will be.)
We've had so many problems with DD over the years but things were starting to look up last summer. She had even admitted to screwing up and hurting her family and had told us how important family is to her. And now this.
I really feel that her fiance is the cause of her not coming home for visits. I think he's trying to pull her away from her family. She may have accepted the fact that we don't support this wedding and we chose not to throw her a wedding, but I don't think he's accepted it and I think he's trying to make us suffer for it.
I am so upset right now. I've been crying since she called and I'm literally sick to my stomach. DH is mad at me 'cause I let it get to me. I try not to and I've done very good lately about not letting it getting to me but this just hit hard. How can you be so close and not at least come over to say hello to your mother, especially since I've been sick. I'll probably never see her again before she's married.
I'm sorry for crying on your shoulders. I just really needed someone to "talk" to. I know there's nothing I can do, there's nothing anyone can do. But it's just so hard to be hurt over and over again. And it's just so hard to sit by and watch her make a mistake.
Thanks guys!
Kathy - I don't know what to say. I am so sorry you are having to go thru with all of this crap. One day hopefully before it is to late she will realize that family is blood and her Boyfriend is not. If that is the life that she wants to live so be it. But she is going to be the one hurt in the end.
But I can see us doing it just to be able to say we did. 
Dh and I were cruising along I-40 (its not recomended for this part of rt 66 to stray from the highway as it is a long desert with few services) at about 80 mph-- cruise control set and the AC on, and then all of a sudden there is like a traffic jam, in the middle of the desert!!! its the CA boarder!!! 
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it was $3.55 for regular!!!!) and decided what our thursday would look like since we had to head back on Friday.
what from the man who self-proclaims to hate all things Disney???? 
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I know it's hard, but she's an adult now and has to make her own mistakes in life. It sucks that this may be oneof them b.c this is a BIG one! Like i tell the boys, this is their life and they have to deal with the effects of their actions. I just don't want you to get hurt so much in all this
I don't think i'm gonna eat as much as I did b4 though cause I lost weight while I wasn't eating them
