Pretty much totally opposite of what we were expecting. A.J. did great. When we walked into the funeral home and he saw Grandpa he leaned over to me and very quietly said "Grandpa sleeping?" I said no, remember we had talked about it and that Grandpa had died and now it was our turn to say goodbye. He went up to the casket and said "Goodbye Grandpa." They had viewing from 3-5 and then again from 7-9 and we stayed the whole time at both. A.J. kept wanting to go up to the casket to talk to Grandpa and one of us would take him. He would always just look and sometimes say goodbye again. He was just so sweet.
We really didn't expect the other kids to have too hard of a time (no more that expected) but Matthew had a very hard time. He refused to go into the room where the casket was. At the church the next morning they had the casket open for the family to say goodbye before the services and we couldn't avoid having to take Matthew in there but we all shielded him so that he wouldn't see Grandpa. Everyone was very understanding and no one pushed him. He dealt with it in his own way.
Andrew had a hard time and never went up to the casket but he did see him and said his goodbyes from a distance. It was the first time any of our kids had been to a funeral so I know there's fear associated with it.
Heather had a hard time, too. First time for a funeral, first time to lose anyone that close to her. Grandpa was someone very special to her! She also really had a hard time with the family squabbling. Several times she said to me, "Can't they at least be nice for something like this." With not have any "real" extended family she'd never witnessed anything like that before.
The family was really nice to recognize all of our kids as "grandchildren."
Thanks for asking and thanks for your thoughts and prayers!