Large families

[aprilvaca04]

I was reading the thread about blogging about families. I came across Kristy's blog "choosing laughter and love" and it really moved me. I am one of 8 and loved growing up in a large family. It's all I ever knew so it felt normal to me. I have 5 sisters and 2 brothers. Believe me, it wasn't always perfect and there were days that I wished half of them would go away so I could be in a "small" family but for the most part it was fun and I don't think I would change it if I could.
Anyone else come from a large family? Or are raising one now? I have 2 daughters now and that is all my husband would like. He is one of 4. I always thought I'd have a bigger family but am content with the 2 beautiful girls that I am lucky to have.

 

[Pigeon]

Both dh and I came from large families. We hated pretty much everything about it. It was loud, chaotic and there was never enough attention. Neither of us are particularly close to our siblings as adults. We aren't estranged or anything, but they for the most part aren't people we wish to spend time with.

A large family is the last thing I'd want for my two kids. And all of our siblings, with one exception feel the same way.

 

[mjkacmom]

I only had a sister. I love having 5, but I think it depends on personalities. My oldest doesn't appreciate having so many brothers and sisters, but the rest say they love it. If one comes home, and the rest aren't here, he or she is like "where are the kids?!" Just last night, a bunch were on the couch, and dd9 had dd7 in her lap, and said "I love my sister!"

 

[diesel]

I come from a family of 11. I'm the baby. I enjoyed growing up in a large family. My family is very close. Even though I enjoyed being part of a large family my husband and I chose not to have children. Family gatherings can be very loud and chaotic but we have a great time together. I wouldn't change my large family or the experience I had growing up in one.

 

[mnrose]

Both dh and I came from large families. We hated pretty much everything about it. It was loud, chaotic and there was never enough attention. Neither of us are particularly close to our siblings as adults. We aren't estranged or anything, but they for the most part aren't people we wish to spend time with.

A large family is the last thing I'd want for my two kids. And all of our siblings, with one exception feel the same way.

Boy can I relate to this. I am one of 8. And, between all 8 of us, we had only 9 kids. What does that tell you? Says it all, IMO.

My mother was a saint, and a terrific mother, but there was no way that she could give all 8 of us the attention that any child deserves.

 

[dogluva]

Both dh and I came from large families. We hated pretty much everything about it. It was loud, chaotic and there was never enough attention. Neither of us are particularly close to our siblings as adults. We aren't estranged or anything, but they for the most part aren't people we wish to spend time with.

A large family is the last thing I'd want for my two kids. And all of our siblings, with one exception feel the same way.

Your two kids my not be close either. I came from a small family and I don't talk to my sister so you just never know.

 

[dogluva]

I have six ages 7-22. They are very close and not deprived of any attention. They give it to each other anyway. We do a lot with our kids and they agree that they have everything their friends families have. I think the best thing I could have given them anyway is each other.

 

[wdwfan16]

Boy can I relate to this. I am one of 8. And, between all 8 of us, we had only 9 kids. What does that tell you? Says it all, IMO.

My mother was a saint, and a terrific mother, but there was no way that she could give all 8 of us the attention that any child deserves.

All the people I know who came from large families had 0, 1 or 2 kids. None went on to have a big family of their own.

 

[VAN]

I'm one of 14 children ... 7 boys and 7 girls. Several of us that are married have large families ... the largest being 10 kids. We had a family business and none of us (to my knowledge) felt like they didn't get enough attention. No question that all of us were wanted and loved!

 

[kellyg403]

I come from a large and loud family, I am not so sure I loved it back then since I was the oldest! Dh and I have a blended family with 10 children, get togethers now that babies are in the picture are loud and chaotic but I wouldn't change a minute. We are a close family, both my siblings and my children are close with each other. My two younger ds's (14, 16) still head over to my oldest ds (26) and hang out for the weekend. The 3 middle are dd's and they shop together, lunch out together etc. So far the oldest three all have two children, so 6 grandbabies in the mix.

I personally wouldn't change a thing. I hope my children are glad that when the day comes I can't be here with them they will have each other. They don't always get along ALL the time but for the most part I can see that they will be there for each other and never be alone.

Kelly

 

[crjack]

DH and I come from large families (although his is very large compared to mine) and we both love it. The chaos when we get together is filled with laughter and funny stories from childhood and all of our children enjoy it as well.

My children only have one living grandparent and the connection to their aunts, uncles and cousins is very important. My dad was widowed fairly young and he loves when we are all together. He laughs hearing about things he missed or didn't know we were up to when he was at work.

I also think it made us more independent as adults. Now my house is the place where people always gather, from my ds & dd friends, to neighbors, family, etc. and it feels natural to us. We enjoy it but if we didn't we would simply make changes and limit it.

I know it was easier in many ways to have a larger family when I was growing up vs now. Activities weren't scheduled, neighborhoods were different, fewer moms working outside the house. I never felt as though my mom didn't have enough time for me and I don't think any of my siblings do either.

 

[hipporina]

aprilvaca04 - Thank you for the kind words about my blog! I'm glad you started this thread. I don't know very many large families, so it is great to hear from some.

It is interesting to me how many people hated their large families. Their families must have been very different than mine. We are an extremely close family. When we began adopting kids, especially when we added a second and then third sibling group, we knew that closeness was not going to just happen on its own. We have fought to make our family a family from day one, and it has worked. The kids don't ever think along biological lines, even though they all spent a significant portion of their lives with their biological siblings only. We are simply ONE family.

The attention issue was one that I worried about when we decided to adopt the last 4. We didn't let it stop us because we knew the kids needed a family. Anyway, I have found that I can give my kids as much attention now as I could when we had 2 or 4. I am with my kids basically 24/7 - we used to homeschool and then a group of us started a private school and I teach there. I see my kids at lunch and anytime they need me - even for something as simple as a lost tooth.

We fiercly protect our family time and we eat together every day. We talk and laugh and play games together. DH and I each know each of our children better than many people with fewer children know theirs. It is all about the choices you make and the priority you place on building family.

We love our family so much that we hope to add to it at some point. In fact, our kids are anxious to add to it right now!

 

[minniecarousel]

Bless you Kristy!

I am one of eight and all but one lives within 50 miles of me (I'm centrally located and have a large house, so all family get-togethers are here). One sib had 5 kids, but there's a set of triplets there. Two never married and two others chose not to have children. My Mom had 11 grandchildren.

I loved being in a large family as a child. But by #8, I think my parents were exhausted (+ my Mom was 42 when he was born). There were 17 years between #1 and #8.

I have to say tht we are all quite close. I see my sisters weekly, talk to each of my brothers on the phone often.

 

[angie@dvcstore]

I also come from a large family I'm the baby of 4 and love it, yes there are moments were i wished that my other siblings would disappear but once i got older I learned to appreciate them for who they are. I would not trade it for nothing in the world

 

[anna_chronistic]

I'm the middle of 7, and so far -- with only four siblings married -- I have 10 neices and nephews, and two more due in Feb. 2011, so it looks like we're on the path to having big families, too.

I love being part of a large family. We're all pretty close, in large part due to my parents. My dad was one of 10 kids, and my mom has one brother and several step-siblings. My mom, in particular, always wanted a home where not only we, but any family member and friend felt welcome.

We always ate meals at the table together, played together and continue to do so today. Actually, a nephew, my mom, one of my sisters and I played Blokus together last night, and there were a total of 12 of us at Mom and Dad's for dinner.

Only the youngest of my siblings (he's 14 and was a surprise) is still at home. The rest of us are grown-ups (or masquerade as such) out on our own. Five of the seven kids live in Illinois, one lives in Indiana but is moving back to Illinois with her husband and family next summer, and the other (the oldest) is career military, so he's at Fort Benning.

We never felt deprived of attention. On the contrary, sometimes we all wished it were possible to get something past my mom!

 

[pigletgirl]

Yep, I'm from a large family and its fine. But I know for sure I definitely won't be having a large family. 2 maybe 3 kids at its max. NO MORE THAN THAT. lol

 

[ilovesugar]

I am the youngest of 7, but did not really grow up around them. When I was born, 2 were already out of the house. When I was going into 5th grade we moved states and everyone stayed where we left. My sister closest to me was going into her senior year of HS so my parents let her live with another sister. So basically, I grew up an only child and I liked it.

Now that I am an adult, we all (but one) live in the same city and get together often. 2 of my sisters are my best friends, 2 of my brothers I don't ever care to talk to again, ever. The other two I get along with really well. Between the 7 of us we have 17 kids, and those 17 kids have 8 kids of their own already. I LOVE my big family and would not trade it for the world. We have so much fun together and I cannot imagine not having them.

 

[MnParrothead]

DH and I both come from large families and neither of us cared for it. We have two sons, which suit us fine. Both of them (now grown) have stated that they like having just one sibling.

 

[Kitzka]

I come from a large extended family that felt like my family. My Dad is one of 10 and my mom is one of 12. All of my father's surviving sibilings and mother live within 4 miles of my parent's home. My mom's family is scattered aroud the US but growing up they all lived in our town and at time lived with us. My youngest aunt is only 5 years older than I am. and her youngest daughter and my daughter are the same age.

I felt like i got the best of both worlds as it was actually only my brother and i but since my Dad was the the 3rd oldest and felt obligated to care for his siblings it felt like i had 7more brothers and sisters who were my aunts and uncles.

DH on the other hand came from a large extended family but a small immedite family. he hated and still hates the large, loud family gatherings.

Lara

 

[Pigeon]

Your two kids my not be close either. I came from a small family and I don't talk to my sister so you just never know.

Of course that's possible, but I strongly doubt it. The two of them are much closer than any of my myriad sibling were growing up. They enjoy each other's company and aren't competing for attention the way we had to. If one of them sleeps at a friend's house, the other one misses her sister. In my family, we'd have been thrilled to death to be rid of them for a day.