Lady Tremaine Terrified My Daughter..What to do?

[Sassagoula Billy]

I find this whole debate about Lady Tremaine quite curious. Shouldn't the beef be with old Walt himself? The actress, whomever that might have been, was hired to BE Lady Tremaine...which she was.

The fault here lies squarely at the feet of Walt Disney himself. He very deliberately made characters that were frightening and evil.

The prevailing sentiment in this thread is that children should not be unnecessarily frightened. Fine. But if you're going to go down that path, you need to follow it to its bitter end. Cinderella, Snow White and Sleeping Beauty are INTENDED to be frightening - I doubt anyone would argue otherwise. And if that's the case, then it stand to reason that the solution would be to protect your child from those movies.

If we're going to assign blame, we should direct it where it belongs. Walt created the scary character, ipso facto the fault lies with him.

Okay, THIS is my kind of post. Kudos!

 

[mickey&minniealways]

The op asked a specific question. What should she do to diffuse the situation. I only see two real choices here. One go to Park Fare as planned and say something at the podium. Or two cancel the reservation and see what else you can get. We have had some of our best meals doing that. People cancel reservaions all the time. In fact there are some who have been known to make several reservations for the same night and then cancel all but the one the really want at the last minute. Either way don't stress out over it. Young kids are pretty resiliant especially when they have had time to think it out and figure out what to do if they come across the situation again. There is usually more going on then we give them credit for. There is a reason for the saying " kids say the darndest things".

 

[Lillian Gracey]

I find this whole debate about Lady Tremaine quite curious. Shouldn't the beef be with old Walt himself? The actress, whomever that might have been, was hired to BE Lady Tremaine...which she was.

The fault here lies squarely at the feet of Walt Disney himself. He very deliberately made characters that were frightening and evil.

The prevailing sentiment in this thread is that children should not be unnecessarily frightened. Fine. But if you're going to go down that path, you need to follow it to its bitter end. Cinderella, Snow White and Sleeping Beauty are INTENDED to be frightening - I doubt anyone would argue otherwise. And if that's the case, then it stands to reason that the solution would be to protect your child from those movies.

If we're going to assign blame, we should direct it where it belongs. Walt created the scary character, ipso facto the fault lies with him.

I wouldn't really blame Walt because he didn't necessarily create these characters. Blame the Grimm Brothers and Charles Perrault. If it weren't for them, there wouldn't be those characters from Aschenputtel (Cinderella) and Schneewittchen (Snow White). Charles Perrault wrote La Belle au bois dormant (Sleeping Beauty). He also wrote a version of Cinderella as well prior to the Grimm Brothers and that's the one that Walt probably used. Then again, he chose to create animated films with these characters, but I wouldn't put the total blame on Walt.

I agree with what I put in bold. These stories are classic fairy tales. So you aren't really going to get away from them because books and movies based on these fairy tales are everywhere. So if you don't want your kids being frightened, keep them away from them. I think Walt did a pretty good job with altering the Grimm Brothers' stories to make them more kid friendly. I wouldn't want kids seeing some of the stuff that happened in the original stories.

 

[jmm476]

I wouldn't really blame Walt because he didn't necessarily create these characters. Blame the Grimm Brothers and Charles Perrault. If it weren't for them, there wouldn't be those characters from Aschenputtel (Cinderella) and Schneewittchen (Snow White). Charles Perrault wrote La Belle au bois dormant (Sleeping Beauty). He also wrote a version of Cinderella as well prior to the Grimm Brothers and that's the one that Walt probably used. Then again, he chose to create animated films with these characters, but I wouldn't put the total blame on Walt.

I agree with what I put in bold. These stories are classic fairy tales. So you aren't really going to get away from them because books and movies based on these fairy tales are everywhere. So if you don't want your kids being frightened, keep them away from them. I think Walt did a pretty good job with altering the Grimm Brothers' stories to make them more kid friendly. I wouldn't want kids seeing some of the stuff that happened in the original stories.

I would agree that Walt actually downplayed/changed a lot of the horrible things that happened in the original stories. Although I was reminded the other day about how practically every Disney movie ever made can be scary to young children (especially the beginnings - Lion King, Nemo, Bambi, Snow White, the list could go on and on...) My stepdaughter was scared to death of all characters when she was 5. We avoided parades and anywhere else we saw characters hanging out.

 

[wtccheermom]

I also think that the OP should completely skip 1900 Park Faire tonight. BUT ... I have to question what "Lady Tremaine" in the parade was thinking when she saw a little girl cowering next to her mother and chose to ahead and make her even more scared. YES, Lady Tremaine is evil and I do not expect her to act in a way that is out of character. But why harass a little girl when there are plenty of other people there who would enjoy playing along? That was MEAN ... not on the part of the character but on the part of the CM playing the character.

Wow talk about being quick to rush to a judgment about a person and situation you were not privy too. The OP never said the little girl was cowering she said she was hiding her face so maybe the CM thought she was just being bashful. My son does the same thing when he sees characters hides his face and says I am scared than as soon as the interaction between him and the characters starts he love every minute of it and he is only 2. I am sure the CM is not some mean spirited person looking to ruin little snowys trip!

 

[sydneysmom]

Oh the poor thing !! I think I'd try to get something someplace else or explain to her that Lady Tremaine will be there and she's going to try to pretend to be mean but she's just kidding... YIKES.

we had a similar situation. We went on the Stitch "ride" at MK. Well, my DD4 HATED it ....and to say she hated it was an understatement. she cried, hated Stitch, thought Stich was basically the devil. (not really the devil, but you get it) We had ADR's for Ohana breakfast the next morning.... my DH and I both had an "oh crap" moment. So, I asked her flat out if she still wanted to eat with Stich....well....she said she "never wanted to see him again, he was MEAN". So, we cancelled and ate at the GF Cafe and loved it.

Moral of the story....cancel....why upset the kiddies ?

 

[TDC Nala]

I would have switched to Akershus where they only had "nice" characters. Sounds like the OP's daughter is not up to dealing with villains.

 

[PIRATEGIRL007]

I'd go to 1900 PF anyway. The dinner is good and the interactions are great. When you check in explain the situation to the hostess ask for a table in a corner so you can put your DD furthest away from the aisles/open areas. Tell your server when you check in that you request Lady T not greet your table. Remind her has the charecters come thru to have Lady T skip your table, and when you see Lady T coming your way grab her handler and remind them as well.

Good Luck.

 

[bytheblood]

If it was at the 3PM parade it wasn't part of the halloween party. It was just a villian acting like a villian. This is the reason that the villians meal didn't go well and Disney canceled it. Its hard really - Disney can't win either way

I have young children myself - well, they are 11 and 8 now, but they were little kiddos at one time. But I have to say, if villains don't act like villains, then what makes them a villain?

I guess personally I would have laughed over it, and figured it wasn't going to be a lasting trauma on my child. Just something they could look back at and laugh, like they do now about screaming bloody murder when we met Bob and Larry from the Veggietales at the local Christian bookstore.

That's just me.

What I would do is not cancel and at the podium ask to speak with a manager. Then explain what happened and see if this "Tremaine" character would reverse what was done.
Either meet with her privately or bring some type of dessert to offer peace and fun.
Make it fun for her instead of scaring her.

If this could happen it would take care of this and she not continue to be scared. Because now she is traumatized and it could last and last.

Nip it in the bud I say.

She is 6 plenty old enough to deal with that was just a lady in a costume. My kids never thought they were anything but people dressed up.

Just explain she was a woman playing a role as a mean lady and it is all pretend like half the stuff at Disney is and just like if you go see a play the people are acting and this lady was acting and in real life is probably a very nice person.
Then move on don't give any more power to the fear, the quicker it is lessened by not giving it any importance the quicker she will get over it, especially since she is 6 not 2 and can reason and think. then go to dinner and make a game out of seeing if it is the same actor or not.

Great posts.

I am sorry that your daughter was scared, OP. I remember when the Snow White ride was scary to my daughter. We had to talk her through it...but then she loved it.

But, I mean seriously - I cannot believe how uptight most of the comments on this thread are. There was nothing mean, rude, hostile or ugly about what happened. It was simply a "villain" playing the role and a child who seems to be timid getting scared.

If your kid cannot handle stuff like that, perhaps Disney is not the best vacation spot for your family. They are a part of Disney and truly everywhere. Sadly, the real world is much worse. For those who feel that the character was out-of-line, I wonder how you will react when your child encounters somebody in the real world who is being ugly for real.

Why can't you let your child know that they are playing a their role and that deep down, Lady Tremaine is a sweet woman, but has to keep up her image from the movie because in the parade, she is "on stage?"

 

[PIRATEGIRL007]

What I would do is not cancel and at the podium ask to speak with a manager. Then explain what happened and see if this "Tremaine" character would reverse what was done.
Either meet with her privately or bring some type of dessert to offer peace and fun.
Make it fun for her instead of scaring her.

If this could happen it would take care of this and she not continue to be scared. Because now she is traumatized and it could last and last.

Nip it in the bud I say.

So if I have a fear of mice and Mickey comes up and hugs me in a parade and traumatizes me, should I visit the judges tent the next day and demand he remove his head so I can see that he is not 'real' to re-assure myself?

She was in charecter, if your kids can't handle it I suggest you go somewhere completely free of anything that might scare, spook, or offend them (and be sure to post that place here so many others can join you). That means no Wal-Mart, no restraunts, no movie theaters, pretty much no where. Children no matter what age need to learn to deal with reality and know that not everything in the world revolves around them and that the world shouldn't change to make thier lives more comfortable.

 

[bumbershoot]

So if I have a fear of mice and Mickey comes up and hugs me in a parade and traumatizes me, should I visit the judges tent the next day and demand he remove his head so I can see that he is not 'real' to re-assure myself?

She was in charecter, if your kids can't handle it I suggest you go somewhere completely free of anything that might scare, spook, or offend them (and be sure to post that place here so many others can join you). That means no Wal-Mart, no restraunts, no movie theaters, pretty much no where. Children no matter what age need to learn to deal with reality and know that not everything in the world revolves around them and that the world shouldn't change to make thier lives more comfortable.

But there have been plenty of delightful reports of the "bad" characters being excellent fun, especially at the character meals. Of the stepsisters giggling and just being nutty, etc etc. You might not have read those, but it's totally possible that the next encounter with her could be amusing, even with her staying in her stern character.

 

[momof2inmn]

I think it's terrible that she did that to a little girl who was trying to hide.

I get that they are villians and that they are supposed to stay in character but Disney specializes in making magic for everyone and scaring a little kid definitely does not accomplish that goal.

She could easily have stayed in character and found a child who was looking directly at her and excited, or a teen or an adult - there are lots of ways to stay in character without deliberatly picking an obviously scared child out of a crowd.

In my opinion there is NO EXCUSE for that - villian or not. That is what can ruin a Disney experience and makes families want to never come back. I would definitely go to Guest Services or somewhere in person and firmly request that they help you find another reservation somewhere.

Wow - I am ticked off over this!

 

[PIRATEGIRL007]

But there have been plenty of delightful reports of the "bad" characters being excellent fun, especially at the character meals. Of the stepsisters giggling and just being nutty, etc etc. You might not have read those, but it's totally possible that the next encounter with her could be amusing, even with her staying in her stern character.

I have been to 1900 PF and had excellent interaction w/ the charecers both funny and mean playing. However they did not release butterfly and blow bubbles at us while rainbows fell from the ceiling. It would be completely out of charecter for Lady T to take a cupcake to a little girl and apologize.

 

[Oglet]

Okay where on earth are you getting this misconception that the child was obviously scared???

A head on a shoulder is not obviously scared, I suggest that people go and read the original post and not just what has managed to filter down.

 

[mariepapa]

I think it's terrible that she did that to a little girl who was trying to hide.

I get that they are villians and that they are supposed to stay in character but Disney specializes in making magic for everyone and scaring a little kid definitely does not accomplish that goal.

She could easily have stayed in character and found a child who was looking directly at her and excited, or a teen or an adult - there are lots of ways to stay in character without deliberatly picking an obviously scared child out of a crowd.

In my opinion there is NO EXCUSE for that - villian or not. That is what can ruin a Disney experience and makes families want to never come back. I would definitely go to Guest Services or somewhere in person and firmly request that they help you find another reservation somewhere.

Wow - I am ticked off over this!

How did this character know that this child was OBVIOUSLY scared? She had what, 20 seconds with her at most? It is Lady Tremaine's job to be mean. I don't think she deliberately picked on her though. But we will never know because it is over and done with...

 

[bytheblood]

Okay where on earth are you getting this misconception that the child was obviously scared???

A head on a shoulder is not obviously scared, I suggest that people go and read the original post and not just what has managed to filter down.

Perhaps you should go read the original post.

Today my family got great curb seats on Main Street for the 3p parade. As Lady Tremaine paraded closer to us, my DD6 got scared asked if we could go home. I recognized what was going down so I calmly explained that if she just looked away that the character would recognize that she was uncomfortable with her and walk on by us...not so! She noticed my daughter hiding her head in my shoulder and came over to her and whispered closely, "you can run, but you can not hide." Naturally, I tried to lighten the situation by pretending to be humored and outraged at her mean-ness, but my daughter was creeped out.

 

[Oglet]

No maybe you should look at it in a different way... what is obvious to the mother is not always obvious to the outside world and people around them. The mother had the child ask to leave and suggested that the child look the other way and put her head on her shoulder... that is not obviously scared or as I have also seen it called cowering

 

[mariepapa]

Perhaps you should go read the original post.

No maybe you should look at it in a different way... what is obvious to the mother is not always obvious to the outside world and people around them

To me it just sounds like she was being shy. And it sounds like Lady Tremaine was being Lady Tremaine.

 

[bytheblood]

No maybe you should look at it in a different way... what is obvious to the mother is not always obvious to the outside world and people around them. The mother had the child ask to leave and suggested that the child look the other way and put her head on her shoulder... that is not obviously scared or as I have also seen it called cowering

I can only look at it in the light that the mother posted it. If you want to start trouble, this is not the forum for it.

 

[Oglet]

I can only look at it in the light that the mother posted it. If you want to start trouble, this is not the forum for it.

Trouble, who me... never.

And if you read how the mother posted it you will see that she calmly had the child put her head on her shoulder. If the child had been trying to get away and was being held by her mother or was showing obvious signs of being scared it would be a totally different scenario.

You know also the mom knowing her child was upset could have quite easily motioned for Lady T to go away and speak for her child, there are quite a few things that could have been done to let Lady T know that the child was scared.