Kindergarten Woes

[FreshTressa]

So, we went into the open house today for my DS's kindergarten. It was pretty bad. I feel like a total snob, but the kids looked so rough. There were kids with jelly on their faces, stains on their clothes, wearing shoes with holes in them without socks. It looks like they rolled out of bed and no one fixed their hair (and it obviously hadn't been cut in a while). And while the teacher was talking, 4 of the boys were running around in circles in the classroom shooting each other with guns while the teacher had to shout over them. I know boys will play actively like that, but I thought it was kind of rude behaviour when the teacher was trying to talk.

I know some people don't have the resources that others do, and I know not everyone can afford new clothes for their kids, but they can at least wash their hands and faces and brush their hair!

There were 16 kids in his class, of which 6 were boys. That means that there were only 5 other boys in his class and none of them were acceptable playmates.

Maybe I am weird, but I wanted my son to look nice for his first day and took special care with his clothes and appearance. He was the only boy there with clean hands and face!

Am I being ridiculous?? Is it too much to ask that you clean your kids up a little before school? Or is it too much of a bother since they will just get dirty again anyway.

I am just so disheartened. I don't know what to do. I so wanted his first school experience to be positive. I haven't let on how disappointed I am. Ack! What to do!!! I may have to homeschool anyway.

 

[jamsmom]

I wish I had some good advice, but I think I would be dissapointed also.

 

[suzannen]

FreshTressa,
I would have been upset also. Is this kindergarten the only choice you have? I visited 3 before selecting one for my DD. Once I made my final choice, I was extremely pleased with her school and teachers. Would this be an option for you, looking at other schools?

 

[shortbun]

Our school is full of ragamuffins-they are way cool kids and
make great friends. Why not wait to decide about the quality
of people you are dealing with. Some folks put very lilttle value on appearance but much value on loyalty and love. I say wait a
while to make a judgement, I hope your fears are unfounded.

 

[FreshTressa]

Thanks shortbun. I am hoping that is how it is. I am going to try to keep an open mind and not be judgemental. Looking back, some of my best friends have been kind of "ragamuffiny". Better that than totally snobby, I guess.

And I really don't have any other options. I can change to the all day program at the school for $240 a month, but all of the schools in the district are full. Sooooo, this is

 

[Pam]

What was your son's thoughts on his first day of school? Did he enjoy it? Did he mention that he had made any new friends? What were your/your son's perception of the teacher?

 

[addicted_to_WDW]

My son has a close friend...Jeremy. They've been friends for years, and I've never once seen Jeremy with his hair combed. Jeremy ALWAYS has a major case of bedhead. The kid doesn't care, and his parents don't force it.

Jeremy lives in a house I couldn't afford if I made 10x what I do.

Different people value different things, and those differences are what make the world interesting. Don't sweat it.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

a class size of 16 is awesome. The K classes at the Public school here are starting to approach 30.

 

[Pooh93]

I hope things settle down and work out. The first few days of school are overwhelming. Hang in there.

 

[Melrosgirl]

You are/were considering switching schools (or homeschooling) because some of the other students are not dressed very well or perfectly groomed?

If you did this, you would not preparing your children for the "real world" - where not everyone is perfect. Coworkers, people on the street, etc.

My dd also started kindergarten last week. Now you have me wondering if her always-seems-to-be-messy hair (despite constantly brushing it) is making other mothers think she is "poor," lol.

 

[FreshTressa]

My kids aren't perfectly "groomed" either! I am not talking about the normal childhood messies....

I don't know how to say this without sounding snobby....but, the kids had things like tails and mullets and dirty, grubby hands and feet. Which I know kids get when they play outside and stuff. I guess I was just shocked that they would come to their first day of kindergarten looking like that.......jelly and dirt on their face.

I guess it is normal for kids not to get their hands and faces washed before heading to school. Just wasn't something I was used to doing. We always wash our hands when we are done playing in the dirt and wash our faces after breakfast. And we usually wear socks in our tennies.

But, anyway, thanks to all of you, I have decided that I was being over critical and judgemental and promise to keep an open mind.

Thanks!!!

 

[crazyforgoofy]

If you were at open house I'm guessing there were other parents there. Were they neat and tidy? Were they interested in what the teacher was saying? Did any of them make an effort to calm down their son when they were "shooting?" That might tell you more of what you need to know about the other little boys. If they have caring, interested parents who are involved at school I'd be less concerned about the appearance of the children.

I recently attended parents night at Isabella's kindergarten and attended school with her on the first day (a custom here to get kids acclimated). Having been through this 4 times before with my own children (about a million years ago) it was interesting to start over with her (we are her legal guardians). A few of the kids in her class look pretty neglected and their parents do too. I'm not making value judgements, just saying it as it looked to me. One of those little girls has become a pal with our little one. She seems like a nice kid but I want to bring her home and bathe her and wash her clothes!

I hope things work out with your son and his classmates.

 

[FreshTressa]

Yah, I guess it was more than just appearance. They seemed to be unruly and the parents seemed kind of glazed over. I guess I am just kind of stereotyping, but they just don't seem like they are from good, loving families. But, I am going to try not to judge and to keep an open mind and see how it goes!

Today was his first full day. Same grubby kids. He had fun though! I just wish they had to wash their hands before class like they did in preschool.

 

[disneyelaine]

I know exactly what you are saying! Remember when you were a kid and had "school clothes" and "play clothes." Well the majority now go in their play clothes I guess. I have sons & always make sure the look their best as they arrive. Now what they look like after school is a different story! Boy are they rough on that playground!

There is a mom who walks her 7 yr old girl to school daily. For 2 years now I've noticed her daughter dressed the cutest..nice dresses, socks, loafer shoes, hair combed. She is adorable. But that is the exception, not the norm.

I don't think you are snobby. But then I don't like mullets either And NEVER on a 5 yr old!

 

[peg2001]

My DH teases me because I have a "thing" about children having clean faces. To me, it is just a clear indication of whether a child is cared for properly. How easy is it to wipe a damp cloth over a child's face before leaving the house?

However wrong I may be, I make an immediate judgement on the parenting when I see a dirty face. If a child is playing on the playground, then smudges of dirt I understand. But, I don't see any reason for a child to go around with dried food and mucus on their face. Ugh.

Peggy

 

[poohandwendy]

but, the kids had things like tails and mullets and dirty, grubby hands and feet.

Weren't they wearing shoes?
How could you tell their feet were 'grubby'?
I think there is a big difference between the type of hairstyle they have and whether or not they were clean. One is not a direct reflection of the other. I think you may be stereotyping them a bit. I would give it a chance and see what type of people they are before passing judgement based soley on appearance. What really matters the most when it comes to your child making friends? Their appearance or their personalities?

 

[gepetto]

Originally posted by FreshTressa

There were 16 kids in his class, of which 6 were boys. That means that there were only 5 other boys in his class and none of them were acceptable playmates.

I hope you are kidding. Are they unnacceptable because they aren't as clean as you would like them to be? They are 5 years old for crying out loud and you are already judging them based on their appearance. I find that very sad.

 

[AirForceRocks]

Were they grubby for school, or was it for the open house? Because I have to tell you, my kids look like they take dirt baths during the summer. I want them outside, playing and getting as dirty as possible. No, I don't send them to school this way, but perhaps since it was an open house, they weren't really at their "school best".

 

[Lanshark]

I would not think your son would judge an acceptable playmate by his/her clothing or appearance. It will probably be a non-issue to the kids.

 

[Sharon A.]

I notice from your profile that you're from the same town as I am. I'm sure you know that Northshore Schools have an excellent reputation. I'd be interested in finding out which school has such "dirty" and unacceptable children. My kids go to Sunrise and we've had nothing but outstanding teachers and the overwhelming majority of parents and children have been wonderful.