Kindergarten Woes

[jennyl772003]

Another thing to consider... Kindergarten aged children are beginning to do things independantly, wash there own face, get themselves dressed, etc. When I see my 6 yo sons face is dirty, I send him to wash it himself. I set out his clothes and he puts them on, and many a time have I noticed his shirt or something on backwards. Maybe junior missed the socks when he got dressed? Just something else to consider.

 

[FreshTressa]

QUOTE]Originally posted by gepetto
I hope you are kidding. Are they unnacceptable because they aren't as clean as you would like them to be? They are 5 years old for crying out loud and you are already judging them based on their appearance. I find that very sad. [/QUOTE]

I am not sure you read the whole post. I was also concerned about the way the parents just sat there looking glazed while their kids ran around, uncontrolled. And I guess I keep my house very clean and my kids very clean, and I am not sure I would feel comfortable having jelly, mucous and chocolate covered kids rolling around on my furniture.

And yes, 2 of the boys had shoes, but they weren't wearing socks and their toes stuck out through the holes in the tops of their shoes. One boy came barefoot, one had sandals and I don't remember what the others had, but there was dirt around one of their ankles, sticky dirt.

And yes, two days into school, they still look unclean. And there are a lot of behavior problems according to my son. I have already been asked about the definition of swear words.

I think it is really hard not to stereotype. I am stereotyping these families as kind of "trashy". They are not dirty like farm kids or very earthy kids are, but dirty in a slummy kind of way. And I realize it is not their fault, they are just little kids. But, realistically, I am not sure my kids will fit in.

I guess I am judging on appearance. It kind of seems an indicator of parenting to me whether or not you wash your kids face. The parents had on shoes that fit, so, I don't think it is unreasonable to at least try to find better fitting shoes and to wear socks. It is a hygeine issue to not wear socks with tennis shoes. I also think it is a hygeine issue not to wash your hands after going to the bathroom. I would think that they must have gone to the bathroom in the morning before school, and yet their hands still have yesterdays play dirt on them and food.

But, again, I have decided to see how it goes. I guess I am just disappointed that we didn't have more in common with the other families.

BTW-I moved to this area for the school district (Lake Washington) from Renton and now I find out the school has some of the lowest test scores in the district. Redmond is generally not a trashy area.

 

[FreshTressa]

And I never said my kids always look perfect. They have their share of mismatched outfits, cowboy boots with dresses, etc. My son likes wear costumes and my daughter thinks it is okay to wear flowered tops with flowered pants. I have belonged to an unschooling homeschooling group and I know lots of kids who grew up on farms or are very natural and appearance is not that important.

This is not at all what I am talking about. It is much grosser than that.

And after a few days of school, I am seeing it is not just their appearance, but behavior that is a problem too .

 

[Charleneluvsdisney]

My son attends a school that sounds a little like yours. There are many kids that dress in shabby clothes who look dirty and unkempt. All I can say is to continue to dress your child the best that you can. I did this last year and in kindergarten (he is in 2nd grade this year) Both of his former teachers commented on his dress and said that they could tell he came from a good home and was well taken care of. So believe me stereo types or not, the teachers notice! I may be wrong in my thinking, but I also think it helps the child succeed in the class and also teaches them that school is an important stepping stone in life. You would not go to work dressed sloppy and dirty, so why would you send your kids to school this way? Call me old fashioned, or whatever.

 

[FreshTressa]

Is that him??? What a cutie! I live by the junior high and those kids look fine, so hopefully it is just this one group.

 

[Charleneluvsdisney]

Yes, that's him - that photo is almost 2 years old now. I really need to change it, but it is one of my favorites!

 

[Sharon A.]

We live in different parts of Redmond since you are Lake Washington, but LWSD is known for it's schools too. All the time I've been in Redmond, I've never seen any children with mullets or tails. I'm really surprised that your class does. I'm sure there were a lot more in Renton.

I think that if you give it time, you'll probably find out that there are lots of great families at this school too. Is the PTA very active? Were there a lot of parents signing up to volunteer in the classroom? What does the teacher seems like? And how is the principal? These things matter so much more than the appearance of kindergarteners.

 

[disneyjunkie]

Maybe the parents are sending the kids to school in "play" clothes so that they don't have to worry about them getting messy. I can't tell how many parents have gotten angry with me because little Johnny got paint, clay, or marker on a new shirt.

I've had students that would not take part in a project because they were afraid mom would be angry if they got dirty.

As for dirty hands and faces, who knows what that was all about. Not having on socks with sneakers in the summer time wouldn't bother me at all. Not having on socks in the middle of winter would alarm me.


I wouldn't pass judgement on the kids or the parents just yet. Who knows, these kids may turn out to be some of your son's best friends.

 

[FreshTressa]

I kind of feel like many people are talking to me like I am an idiot. I know the difference between "play" clothes and clothes that look as though they haven't been laundered in a while.

And if it was just shoes without socks, I could handle it. What I am talking about is a whole package. Children that look neglected and not cared for and have behavior problems.

Are you saying you would not be at all concerned by this in your child's kindergarten class???

 

[seaotter]

I live in Washington State, too. It has been an unusually warm summer. I bought my daughter a load of new clothes several weeks ago but they are all clothes more suitable to our typical rainy Septembers! It's been in the upper 80's the whole first week of school, which is very not normal. My daughter has been going to school this week in her summer clothes, which in fact are rather worn out. It's just to hot for sweaters and jeans! Also, having had a conferance with my daughter's teacher this afternoon, she commented that the kids were really having a hard time concentrating because it was so hot in the schools. I just wonder if the heat could have something to do with what you saw in your child's class. Redmond, from what I understand, is a pretty nice area. I would have expected the problem you describe to happen more in Renton.

Anyway, I'd recommend giving these boys a chance. They may be having a hard time adjusting to school or they may have ADHD type things going on. You never know. Honestly, it really could be the heat, too...because it has been HOT! I know I have a harder time being nice and calm when I'm uncomfortable from the heat. I never thought I'd say this...but I wish it would rain!

 

[disneyjunkie]

Originally posted by FreshTressa
Are you saying you would not be at all concerned by this in your child's kindergarten class???

The things you listed would not bother me unless they bothered my son.

As long as the teacher is able to teach the class without spending a large amount of time correcting a student's behavior I'd be fine.

As long as my son felt safe with the other students I'd be fine.

As long as they show respect for their classmates and the teacher I'd be fine.

I'm sure I'd wonder why they are wearing dirty clothes or haven't washed their faces, but that's as far as it would go.

I've come across some very well dressed kids from "nice" homes, who were terrors in the classroom and on the playground.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

FreshTressa, this is a quote of yours from another thread.

I have had lots of people ask to use my phone. I have never let them. There is no way I would let someone use my bathroom....I'm a card carrying germaphobe!

Is this why the "dirty" children bother you so much?

 

[Porter]

We would all like our children to have good morals and be well groomed but we must remember that they are children and that they can only do so much. Sure their parents should send them to school with clean hands and face but if they do not then who is at fault. If mom, dad or both do not care then it is up to the teacher and the little tykes friends to hopefully help them grow up in the right direction. By that all I mean is that maybe these boys need to befriend your son so that your son can teach them about self grooming. We are all put on this planet to help each other out, at any age.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

oh I don't know.

I think that a 5yo boy who starts the school year off by giving grooming tips to his classmates --- it probably isn't going to get him invited to many birthday parties.

 

[Disneycrazymom]

The beginning of school can be very difficult. To make yourself feel more at ease go to school and talk with the teacher. Ask how the learning enviroment is in the classroom. Are all the students respectful of each other? Does she feel the class will progress approprately? Then volunteer for lunch duty or recess duty or to read a story one afternoon. Then you can see what is really happening and make a good decision for your son. Every child does not fit into every classroom, but teachers can do amazing things in a week to settle down a class. Sometimes it is hard to know if the "Mom Radar" is telling you something important or just gone haywire!

 

[Porter]

Originally posted by Toby'sFriend
oh I don't know.

I think that a 5yo boy who starts the school year off by giving grooming tips to his classmates --- it probably isn't going to get him invited to many birthday parties.

You have a point. He should wait until the second day then.

 

[FreshTressa]

[
I've come across some very well dressed kids from "nice" homes, who were terrors in the classroom and on the playground. [/B]

You are definately right about that!!! Some of the most spoiled, ill mannered kids are the ones wearing the name brands and all that. Just because someone is well dressed does not make them a kind person. I would not want my son to be friends with a mean and well dressed child either.

I wasn't assuming they were bad kids, I was just kind of perplexed about parents that didn't care at all about how their kids looked on the very first days of kindergarten. And it was beyond that, they looked rough and mean. And if you read my posts, you will see that I decided to wait and see how it goes.

And come to find out they did have problems and I have since moved my son to the afternoon kindergarten.

Maybe it would be more charitable of me to try and help these kids, but I guess I am a selfish mother for wanting to protect my child from swearing, disruptive, mean, dirty children.

I was just taught to have good hygeine, and have always been around people with good hygeine and am just shocked that there are people out there that don't teach their kids to wash their hands.

 

[zurgswife]

My kids are good kids but clean hands and faces are not my priority....I try but with four kids and a full time job my kids sometimes get out looking like rag a muffins....Even to school...I try but sometimes I don't catch it....

But as far as behavior goes kids are all over the map...my kids are very well behaved but I've met my group of challange kids behavior wise....I just sort of try to teach my kids the best I kind and realize that in the world they will experience all kids of behaviors..