Kindergarten redshirting

[Aliceacc]

We tried having kids for 10 years, adopted my son, then got pregnant a few months later (and again 3 years after that.)

I think you're getting way ahead of yourself.

But since you asked, I think it depends on the child. I've taught kids who could have been a year ahead or a year behind had their parents made different choices when they were 5. For some it would have been a good idea, for others not.

I say cross that bridge when you get to it. But good luck with your plans!!

 

[mrsmiller]

Sorry to tell you this for there is more than just a child failing kindergarten,

Board of ed (NYC) in their bylaws stipulates promotional guidelines for children from third grade and up, in order to pass a child have to pass the standardized test, there is not such test for 2nd grades and below, so parents have the right to appeal this, the school have to show that at the time ,services were provided for the child and they worked with the child in areas that needed services and parents were given a monthly academic report(progress),

THAT said where were the parents thru out the school year? as a parent you have to realize that it takes commitment from your part to help your child succeed in school from kindergarten and up, is a team effort with you , your child and the school, and also as a parent you have to realize that not all children are the same and learn at the same pace , and that you have to constantly communicate with your child teachers, they are the ones that can tell you what to do and how to help your child and point you in the right direction , And always be realistic to the fact that if your child needs help, is OK, your child will not be the only one that have learning problem, do not be ashamed to that fact...

I have a parent coming to me on June 20 (last day of school was June 26)asking me for help because her child was being left back in first grade, after searching for promotional guidelines and going to BOE I asked the parent how many time she went to school to find out how her daughter was doing and if she helps her daughter with homework ...her response was never because she works, I told her that out of a whole school year she couldn't take an hour of her time to check on her child school but she had time to do her nails
she couldn't email the teacher or the school anytime I gave her all the paperwork and told her good luck, I refused to help her because I knew this child needed help and did not think her mother had any interest in helping her child....

THEN again this is not the norm...there are times that if is needed and a child has to be left back , is not the end of the word, as long that as you are an inform parent working to do the best for your child and you are working on helping your child succed ...that is all that matters

Sorry for the long post but I would not worry about age and other children failing school , I will focus on being a committed parent, involved in their life
and doing the best that I can for my child

Linnette

 

[Zombierella]

I don't think you can go by state either. Age cutoff goes by district. Our distict cutoff is Dec 31 while one town over is November 30.

My son will be 5 this Dec 30. He is going to kindergarten in the fall. I decided to NOT hold him back. If he has to repeat, he repeats. Some people may say we are crazy as he has speech problems as well.

He will be getting speech services in school to continue with what he has received the past 2 years. In addition he has gone to preschool for 2 years. My gut says he is more than ready acedemically but not socially.

So why push? Financially I must return to work. We had 3 young kids close together. Oldest will be in 1st, youngest is 21 months. We could not afford day care for 2 kids if I went back to work, or tuition to school and a sitter for the baby.

Personally I was very excited when I found out what our cutoff was and knew immediately he was going no matter what.

 

[Aristomommy]

This would not be something I would worry about in baby planning. Each child comes to the world with a different development and IQ that a birthday isn't going to make a difference. A child who is ready for kindergarten and held back will be a frustrated student who is not challenged. A child who is pushed too much can feel anxiety.

Parents can do just as much harm by redshirting than when sending a child too early when it's motivated by anything other than child's needs. Someone has to be the youngest and age doesn't always guarantee academic success.

 

[squirrel]

Every child and every pregnancy is different.

For all your planning something can change. Your baby may arrive earlier or later than the due date.

Stop worrying so far into the future. When it's time for Kindergarten you will know if your child is ready. It's not the end of the world if he/she waits another year or repeats Kindergarten.

 

[ERMama]

sorry but i think your husband has his priorities a little off. sure trying to time a baby for a certain time of year isnt really odd. but to say its REALLY important they be born so they are older for kindergarten is just whacky imo.

if my husband was majorly concerned about anything other than our future childs health i think i would have to smack him upside the head.

 

[Microcell]

Just an FYI, (if you ever move to Missouri) my DS's kindergarten teacher told me that our district will not hold back a kid unless there is SEVERE delay in thier development.

My DS was shy so I worried about him being one of the younger ones (april baby so it was a real tough decision, graduate at 19 years old if he was redshirted) and we communicated all year. She told me that she has a list every year of children that she believes would benefit from being held back and her request is denied for every child.

I told her when she told me that I would talk to her throughout the year and if privately she thought he fell into that group I would disenroll him myself as Kindergarten is not manditory. She happened to think he would be fine (with some practice writing and cutting this summer, and some self esteem boosting activities) so he is going to first grade next year.

It will be a very personal decision, as mine was for me, because I was a late kid and the school wanted me to skip a grade because I was so far ahead, and my mom refused because I was shy... Well I was shy clear until college, and she passed away and I had to spend that extra year that she felt I needed being verbally and emotionally abused by my father and stepmother. That made me a firm believer that shyness is not a good enough reason to hold someone back, and that you can not predict the future. I was born and went to school in Michigan and assumed I would live there forever. I wound up graduating from a HS in Kansas!

Have fun making your baby and shoot for winter if you want to have more choices.

 

[santa's surpriz]

It's your choice to wait a year. An extra year in pre-school is not going to harm your child. Most teacher would actually support it. I decided to wait that extra year, bc while my daughter is far more intellectually devloped than other kids her age at some point the other kids will catch up. Whether it be athletics, grades, social skills, or puberty. My daughter is much more attentive now and starts kindergarten next month.

On the flip side, my nephew, both are late July babies, started right away. The problem was there attention span was still 4 years old and maturity lacked cooperation with others. Teachers passed him on to 1st Grade but also quickly judged them for ADD. We have struggled with boths since the teachers labeled them as ADD and that has lead to other social issues.

Have your baby enjoy it and don't be afraid to wait to send your child to Kindergarten. He/she will never know and at 5-6 years they are pretty resilient. Pregnancy is something that cannot be planned that way. If you try, you'll probable never get pregnant! (Murphy's Law?!) Just let it happen!

 

[AQW]

I'm with those who said not to give it a second thought while planning/trying to conceive. Maybe you'll choose to homeschool and then the silly states with their arbitrary cut-off dates won't matter a bit.

 

[chip007]

My dd4 with a late December birthdate is technically eligible for kindergarten in the fall because the cutoff is Dec. 31, but we're going to do another year of preschool instead for a number of reasons.

First, kindergarten is a full day here that's seven hours five days a week which seems like a lot for a four year old. Instead she'll do 3 hours a day four days a week, one full day and some other activities like swimming, ballet and gymnastics on the short days.

Second, we're in Weschester County in NY where redshirting is common so if she went this fall not only would she be up to 12 months younger than the other kids, she could potentially be 18 months younger than the ones who were redshirted. I know of some parents who have held kids back when their birthdates were six months from the cutoff. I think that's too much, but six days before the cutoff (especially when most states have a September or October cutoff) seems reasonable.

 

[tzolkin]

I don't think you can go by state either. Age cutoff goes by district. Our distict cutoff is Dec 31 while one town over is November 30.

This is very true. And honestly it may be nearly impossible to plan that exactly. And even if you did have the baby by/after a certain date, what if you move before s/he starts school? By the way, I don't think the NY dates the OP has are correct for all of the state. I know for certain there were kids who turned 5 and 6 in late october in our district.

In my DD's kindergarten class, 75% of the kids had fall birthdays. Half were 4 turning 5 and the other half 5 turning 6 when they entered. I volunteered in the class, and to be honest several of the older kids had more difficulty with the work or socializing than the ones who were 4. It really has more to do with personality, family involvement, etc than with the age of the child. I understand your DH's concern, but just because someone else's child had an issue does not mean that yours will.

My brother was held back in 1st grade. He did not fail and the teacher did not even make the suggestion, but my parents decided it would be better if he repeated the grade and had another year to develop his reading abilities instead of pushing him ahead to struggle. He did not have any problems with his self-confidence, graduated #2 in his class, and has since graduated from a top university.

I would not worry myself with whether my child was going to fail kindergarten or not. You even said that the parents of the child you mentioned knew that the child was not ready but sent him/her anyway. If you are concerned with this, I'm sure you will carefully consider your decision whether to send your child or not, and will pay attention throughout the year for ways to help if problems arise. And you will also be able to make the decision if your child does need to repeat the grade. It really should not affect the child's confidence (make them feel "dumb" as your DH said) if you approach it in a positive way and have the child included in the decision to repeat the grade.

 

[rt2dz]

First, the TX date is on or before September 1 (state law, not set by district). And K is optional, too. What it says is that a child must be 5 on or before September 1 to start K. If 7 on or before September 1, a child MUST be enrolled in 1st grade (public, private, or home schooled). If age 6 on September 1, a child may be enrolled in either K or 1st grade. If your child has completed K under different guidelines at an earlier age (i.e., started K in a state where they had to be 5 on or before December 1 and the birthday was November 15), they will not be held back.

Redshirting is common. Many people start red shirting as early as May birthdays where I live (in TX). So, if you have a child with a September 1 b-day and they go the first time they are eligible, they WILL be the youngest in the class, but if you hold them, they will most likely not be the oldest. I guarantee they won’t be the oldest.

As has been mentioned, you cannot control when you conceive. I’ve been trying for over two years now for baby #4 and it just isn’t working. It took me two years to conceive baby #2. Baby #1 was first shot out of the gate and baby #3 was a birth control failure. So, I won’t worry too much about when to start trying.

Then, every kid is different, and I DON”T buy into that boy v. girl thing; I know too many kids that are “exceptions”. Too many for it to be a rule. DS#1 was ready for K by the time he was 4yo. Most of his friends were (and still are) a year older if boys or are girls. He is very mature for his age. And very, very bright. If he had a September 1 birthday, I most certainly would have sent him.

DS#2 is a whole different story. He’s right on target maturity wise. Ahead in certain areas academically and behind in others. He has a January birthday, so no worries; I’m not sure what I’d do if his birthday was September 1.

DS#3 is driving me nuts. He IS that September 1 birthday. He’ll be turning 3 soon and still barely talks compared to other kids his age. However, when he does talk, it is apparent he is very bright. He knows his letters, numbers, colors, animals, sounds, letter sounds, how to count, and even (as I found out a couple of days ago) how to read some simple words. I DO NOT work on anything with him like this. I have no idea how he gets this; the preschool is a social based preschool and doesn’t push any of this either. His maturity level, right now, does seem to be on target for kids who are several months younger. Although, when around older kids, he acts much older than when left alone. I have him behind in preschool (he’ll be in the older twos class v. the younger threes), but neither myself, DH, last years teacher, or the director are sure if this is the right move. The preschool will be watching him closely and will move him up if necessary. We’re thinking he may move up at the semester change. This child is an enigma.

As far as red shirting goes, I’ve heard/read/researched mixed reviews on it. I have a neighbor who swore by it. Then she found the older her DS got, the more bored he got. A bored child is just as bad as a child who lacks maturity in the older grades. Except, the bored child is actually looking for and plotting trouble. This started in about 4th grade. And sure enough, my research has yielded that by around 4th or 5th grade most kids catch up on maturity. As for my neighbor, she held her 2nd DS, but DS#3 wasn’t ready for K until after she had problems with her oldest she sent her youngest “on time”. Her oldest is a good kid, she just needs to keep a *constant* eye on him and be really, really strict to keep him on the straight & narrow. All her kids have late summer birthdays.

Then, you have to keep in mind some kids are late bloomers and hit puberty around 14, not good for the kid who is already the youngest in the class. But the reverse is true too. Some kids start puberty as early as 9 or 10. Not good if your kid is the oldest in the class. And really, there isn’t any way to predict where your child is going to fall. You can guesstimate based on parents, but each person is an individual.

I have two siblings who were just above the cut off date. My mom sent both. To this day, she regrets sending my sister (who seemed the most ready of the two) and says it was the best thing she has ever done for my brother. What a lot of people perceived as not ready for my brother turned out to be a personality issue that wasn’t ever going to change. My sister’s issues really came from going to college too early; something that might not have been an issue if my parents had made her go to community college a year or two part time first. My brother’s issues didn’t leave until he left for college; that is when he came out of his shell. And in college, you don’t hang out with your age/grade level; you hang out with those you have things in common with!

Most of what I’m reading now says, put kids in if they are academically ready. Holding them back so the appear to be the smartest in the class doesn’t make them smarter and harms them in the long run. What researchers are suggesting is to instead find them friends outside of school who are in the same place otherwise with them and keep their extra curricular activities on their otherwise maturity/readiness level. It really does seem to make sense to me, where in school there isn’t a lot of social time anyhow (one recess next to lunch—both in 45 minutes).

I’d set it aside for now. When your child is at the K threshold, I’d evaluate the situation as best as you can then. Coming from someone who has been watching it long term since she had a September 1 baby. And many kids repeat K without any long-term effects.

 

[buffi]

I wouldn't worry yourself about this already! You never know what your child would be like. What if he/she is really ahead of the curve and they miss the cut off by one day and are too mature when it's time to start school!

Relax (that's the best way to get pregnant anyway!)

 

[AUDramaQueen]

Well, you can't really control conception, as much as many of us try!!

I wouldn't worry about it, or try to have a winter baby. You can ALWAYS redshirt, it is very common.

Our school board passed a law banning it. Except they didn't tell anyone and we almost had a fit when they tried to send our son straight from pre-school to first grade That year they let it slide, but they won't anymore.

Our son has an August birthday and turned 6 the day before school started. We start really early here now, but they havn't moved the cut-off back. We held him back from the beginning (pre-school) so he would be moving up with the same kids. It's worked out very well for us. I know not everyone agrees, but can't we agree that I know what's best for MY kids?

I think October is a wonderful month to be born! But I'm biased, LOL, my birthday is in Oct

ETA: I started K when I was 4 because we were overseas and my parents thought I was ready. That means I started college when I was 17. I did just fine and was an honor student and had no trouble fitting in socially. Although it did stink not being able to drive until I was a junior!

 

[averysmom]

In our area you are not allowed to "redshirt" your child. You can keep your child out of kindergarten - children don't have to attend school until 7 - but when you do register them they will be placed with "age appropriate peers".

So if you keep your child out of kindy, the next year they will not be placed in kindy, but straight into grade 1.

If you do want to keep your child back, you will have to find a private school who will register them.

They have also put into place rules for HS students and sports - grade 10 students can't be any older than 16 to compete, grade 11, 17 and grade 12 is 18 - this is to prevent older students from dominating the field.

If your child is 17 in grade 10, then they have to compete with the grade 11 students.

If your child turns 19 in their senior year, they can not play HS sports anymore - even if they are still in HS.

 

[katied]

You may be lucky enough to plan the arrival of your child precisely. But, you may not - for DH and I, it took many years and some medical assistance to actually have DS, so we were just happy for his arrival, regardless of time of year.

My DSister had her first quite easily, and thought she could plan the arrival time of her second - more than a year later with no 2nd child on the horizon, she has learned that the ability to plan is this area is really limited.

I just would not worry about it. Have a child, and then as they get closer to kindergarten age, you can decide what makes sense. Maybe a year of a private pre-K class will help give them a head start if it makes sense, but you won't really know until you have a child and see what their development is like.

 

[daleswife]

I live in WV and my little boy, who's only 1 now, Will start kindergarten at 5,but will turn 6 in November. He'll be one of the oldest in his class. I think thats not right. I think if they are ready at 4 and their birthday fall in the beginning of the school year and you know they are ready that they should be allowed to start school. My husband was the same way. (they are November 20th and 21st in birthdays!!!)

 

[chip007]

In our area you are not allowed to "redshirt" your child. You can keep your child out of kindergarten - children don't have to attend school until 7 - but when you do register them they will be placed with "age appropriate peers".

One of the problems in this discussion is that various states and districts have all different cutoff dates, and redshirting is a fuzzy term.

As, I mentioned above, we are not putting DD4 in kindergarten this year -- even though she's eligible to start at age four because she will turn five on Dec. 21.

Instead, we're "redshirting" her to start kindergarten at age 5 and first grade at age 6. In most states, this would not even be an issue because most places have much earlier cutoffs.

 

[Karlzmom]

"Academic redshirting for young children refers to the practice of postponing entrance into kindergarten of age-eligible children in order to allow extra time for socioemotional, intellectual, or physical growth. This kind of redshirting is most often practiced in the case of children whose birthdays are so close to the cut-off dates that they are very likely to be among the youngest in their kindergarten class."

so I was looking up the "cut off dates" by state last night and it just got so confusing! LOL.... maybe I'm just making it more complicated in my head than it is... but could someone help me?

lol. Is this really even that important to consider it when planning a baby?

I don't think it should be a major consideration, as most states have an age that the child needs to be enrolled in some time of education program, (compulsory attendance age, many states are as late as 7, its 8 in Pennsylvania).....If you as the parent believe that your child would benefit from an additional year of maturity, then simply wait the year or two until are comfortable with your child's ability to succeed. However, you are right to be concerned and thinking forward....

I would be more concerned about my child be "diagnosed" by his teacher with some condition requiring meds to make him/her docile enough to "manage" [before someone complains at me, I have a child who is Aspbergers/ADD, but it was diagnosed by UCLA, not his teacher with her closet M.D., and I do firmly believe that kids are far too often labled with a defect when they are just being kids....pm me if you want to discuss further]

At the end of the day YOU ARE THE PARENT...you will know your child best, and so long as you comply with the law, which simply mandates enrollment in an education program [homeschool/private/or government school] then it really doesn't matter what others think about your choice.

G/L on the baby-dance! Its a wild ride, but so very, very worth it.

 

[scouthawkk]

I have to agree that it all depends on the individual child.

But you should take into account with your plan, that laws do change. When DS was born, the cutoff for entry into mandatory kindergarten was 5 by Oct 31st. So, under that, our Sept. 12th boy was "groomed" so to speak to enter kindergarten last fall. We both work, so he started full day daycare at 6 months. We changed daycares at 16 months, and the teachers there ended up bumping him to "pre-school" status because he was further ahead of the other kids his age. At 3 going on 4 he started pre-k, and would have started kindergarten at 4, turning 5 two weeks into the school year. We had no problems with that, because he was more than ready.

So imagine our surprise when we went to enroll him only to find out that sometime after he was born, there was a law change, and it was now 5 by Sept. 1st was required to enroll. All others had to wait for a year. He now missed the cutoff by 11 days. We were beside ourselves, and he was very sad to find out he couldn't go. But, with a little further research, there was an exception if the child can pass a series of "tests" then they can be enrolled on a 30 day probationary period for early entry. So, we had him tested, he passed, and he started "on time" according to our original plan when he was born.

So, where enrollment at 5 is optional one year, there by allowing you to plan to hold your child back a year (for whatever reason) it may be manditory the next, and you may be required to get special permission from your district (as is required in Maryland) to "redshirt" your child. Cutoff dates and laws change. At first it varied by district in Md, but apparently it was state mandated that by a certain school year, it was to become 5 by Sept. 1st must be enrolled for the entire state. They did this as part of the no child left behind act.

I woudn't try to plan to have a baby at a certain time of year just because of future educational planning. Enjoy trying to get pregnant, and having a baby, and deal with the rest when it comes time. You never know, your child could be ready to go "early" like mine, or truely need to be held back for educational reasons. But you really won't know until that times gets to you. Just enjoy the process and see what happens...