Kindergarten question re: discipline - How should I proceed?

[DisneyLovingMama]

When I picked DD up from K today, I noticed that her seat had been changed. Having been a chatterbox in grade school myself, I asked her why. She said it was because she was playing too much with another boy. She told me today was the first time she was reprimanded for playing with him.

There was no note from her teacher and DD couldn't (wouldn't?) give me any more details. If she's being a problem in class, I want to know so I can discuss her behavior with her. But, it was really no big deal, I don't want to make it one.

I never actually see the teacher cause DH drops DD off and I pick her up from aftercare. The only means of communication is via notes in her "take home folder". There's no e-mail address.

What do you think?

 

[Barb D]

I would let it go unless the teacher contacts you. Apparently she's dealing with it. Maybe it was as simple as separating them because they were chit-chatting too much.

BTW, she probably does have an e-mail address. In our school system, every teacher has one. (They may or may not use them, but they do have them.)

 

[Laurajean1014]

Let this one go. If it happens again, call, email or have a discussion with the teacher and your daughter (separately, of course.)

 

[minnieluvzmickey]

I would not worry about it at this point.

I am a kindergarten teacher and I move kids around all the time. Most of the time it is just because I feel certain kids would work better with another group. Some kids do tend to talk a lot when they make new friends and she probably just moved her because she felt she would gain more from being at a different table.

I'm sure she would let you know if there were a real behavior problem.

One thing you might want to do is just drop the teacher a note in your daughter's folder and ask how she is doing and if there is anything
you need to work on at home.

I would let it go unless the teacher contacts you. Apparently she's dealing with it. Maybe it was as simple as separating them because they were chit-chatting too much.

BTW, she probably does have an e-mail address. In our school system, every teacher has one. (They may or may not use them, but they do have them.)

 

[JennaTX]

I always got "needs improvement" also in conduct for being talkative in grade school, so I also was worried about it. My DD was moved about 4/5 times last year in K. Sometimes it was because of her chattiness, sometimes because of others. I spoke to her teacher about it at one point (I was the room mom and spoke to her quite often) and she told me that it was an easy way for the teacher to handle it, before it becomes a problem and she has to get the parents involved. I wouldn't worry to much about it. I am always grateful that my DD is not shy, and gets along with everyone!

 

[Not so Dumbo]

I also have a kindergartener and teacher requests that we follow up with discipline at home but I feel that if teacher repremands the child in school than I don't want to punish him twice for the same incident. I would propably talk with my child about what he did wrong and make sure that it didn't happen again.

 

[mudnuri]

They do that still in 4th grade here. Sometimes, its because 2/3 kids are yacking too much, other times its because 2/3 kids work well together....some times its' because 1 child is strong in an area that another needs help so they put 2 together to assist that way.

Never bothered me when my girls got moved around

Brandy

 

[Divamomto3]

Unless the teacher contacts you, I wouldn't see it as a problem. My kids get their seats moved around all the time for one reason or another. The teacher is often trying to find good combinations. I will also tell you, as the mother of 3 boys--my youngest is in Kindergarten, my oldest in the dreaded 8th grade--you will have MORE opportunities than you ever wished for to be contacted by teachers! LMAO....trust me, they will not hesitate to contact you if there is a problem!

 

[Daxx]

Kindergarten teacher responding here!

She told me today was the first time she was reprimanded for playing with him.

Could this mean that she's been playing w/him right along but this is the first time the teacher said/did anything about it? Just a thought. The teacher may have been observing them for the past few days to see if the issue would resolve itself and if they'd "settle in". I will give my students some time to see if the playing/chatting stops on its own. If it doesn't, then I will switch seats.

There was no note from her teacher and DD couldn't (wouldn't?) give me any more details. If she's being a problem in class, I want to know so I can discuss her behavior with her. But, it was really no big deal, I don't want to make it one.

It sounds as if the teacher is handling the situation herself. If it were a problem, you would have received a note or call. I won't send a note unless the behavior becomes a continuing problem. If it's something that happened a couple of times in the class and I was able to get it under control (whether w/a reprimand or a desk switch), there is no need for a note. If the behavior continues and it's a disruption to class, then I will send a note telling the parent that the child is overly social and please remind them of the school rules. That your DD openly told you that she was reprimanded is a good thing and you should commend her for telling you about it. The most important thing is to let her know that you are not mad at her or disappointed in her and are happy she confided in you. At the same time, explain why the behavior was reprimanded and how she might be able to handle things next time.

I never actually see the teacher cause DH drops DD off and I pick her up from aftercare. The only means of communication is via notes in her "take home folder". There's no e-mail address. What do you think?

I know that if this were something big, you would have received a note or a call. I do not think this is anything to be upset over. Desks are switched often in school. I can tell you that since school started (3 days ago), I have switched 3 children. One b/c he needs to have preferential seating (something I didn't know when I assigned seats) and two b/c of 2 straight days of playing and talking instead of listening. Turns out those two are cousins -- of course they're going to play and talk if they're together!!!

One suggestion ... when your school has their fall "open house" or "meet the teacher night" (or whatever your school calls it}, that would be a great time to tell the teacher "If DD is a problem in class/chatty/whatever, please let me know about it."!

It sounds as if things are fine and "typical" of kdg. w/what the teacher is doing. I wouldn't worry -- if your child is being a problem, you WILL know about it!!!

Warmly,
Daxx's Wife

 

[momof2inPA]

Unless a note comes home, let the teacher handle it. You could always have some generic talks with your daughter about staying quiet while an adult is speaking and staying in her seat, but I wouldn't give the teacher a phone call quite yet.

My third grader is in the same boat. He's been homeschooled until this year, so he's not used to sitting in one place all day and being quiet. He's already had his desk moved and missed recess, but he's not the only one, and I think that missing recess impressed on him the importance of behaving well in class.

Since my son's the new kid, I'm just kinda glad he has someone to talk to, and I've suggested he get the other kid's phone number so they can chat after school.

 

[snoopy]

Oh yeah, the kids will be switched around until she gets the right fit. I'd let it go, I don't think its anything to worry about. My kids are both chatty too but have never been a behavioral problem. Both often get paired next to a kid who is not as talkative or more mellow in personality -- I think the teacher pairs kids who might be unlikely advocates of each other's success.

I remember when my oldest was in 2nd grade and came home devastated because he and Nathan got separated. Both were chatterboxes and got nothing done all day. He got paired with Estephania instead, the shy girl from Brazil who knew virtually NO English. In 2 months time, DS saw to it that was changed. He talked to her nonstop -- she had her own built in English immersion class in my son. I just saw her at back to school night and they are both in the same class again now in 5th grade, and she too is now a chatterbox! You'd never know it was the same shy child who couldn;t speak English.

 

[paigevz]

I move seats all the time! Sometimes it's because several are too chatty, sometimes it's because I'm seeing cliques form and want to head them off (I mean the sort where they pick on or actively exclude others), sometimes it's because I want a stronger reader in that cluster, sometimes it's because I just want them to mix up and make more friends, sometimes it's because I get new kids and don't think they'll fit in an existing cluster well.

Don't worry about it. If it's a problem, the teacher will make sure you know.

 

[mickey65]

Another kindergarten teacher here, and I too switch seats around early in the year. It is no big deal really it is just part of being a teacher and finding the right seating combinations.

 

[RitaZ.]

I wouldn't worry about it. If the teacher had a problem with your daughter, she would have sent you a note or called. It sounds like the teacher is handling it.

 

[shellbelle11]

First grade teacher here- as other posters have said, I would let it go for now- but mention to the teacher that you would like to be made aware of any problems that arise. I move kids around quite a bit- esp at the beginning of the year when I'm trying to figure out the best "learning" spot for each child. It's tough finding just the right fit for the kids sometimes.

 

[crasher11]

My DS only took 3 hours his first day of school to be relocated because his buddy and him couldnt quite keep the chatter down.. LOL He was really dissappointed he got in trouble the first day. It did teach him a lesson cause we got a note from the Teacher saying it cured the chatting...