kids working and going to school

[Mickey Fliers]

My oldest is in high school and got his first job this summer at 15. He is a lifeguard. He guarded at the pool all summer and put away quite a bit of money. He is now 16 and a sophomore and now also teaches swim lessons. He guards one afternoon/evening per week. Then he gives 4 lessons per week. Sometimes he has a Saturday shift. He is also in ROTC and a competitive swimmer.

I think having this job has been great for his organizational and time management skills.

 

[A_Princess'_Daddy]

When I was in high school, it was made clear to me by my parents as well as others in my network that school was my job, and I was expected to put the 60-80+ hours per week into that job that I would be expected to put into my professional career in the future.

My wife and I ascribe to the same value system for our own children now, although they are too young to work yet (8 & 5) so it's theoretically possible that our thoughts will evolve, although I am doubtful of that.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Personally I don't think teens should work.

At all? Or just during the school year?

 

[LJSquishy]

As a general rule, no, I do not think it's a good idea for middle school or high school students to work. There are certainly exceptions -- some kids can balance school and work without either suffering, but generally speaking I'm a believer that school comes first. This applies to weekdays only...I see nothing wrong with a kid working on weekends.

My parents did not expect us to work in high school and they provided my sister and I with a small amount of spending money for movies, etc. They wanted us to focus on school. I didn't get my first job until right after I graduated high school (and before going to community college). I had done occasional babysitting jobs and raked leaves once throughout middle school & high school but nothing consistant.

I know for a fact I would have really struggled in high school if I had to have a job. I wasn't very focused as it was, so adding a job that I didn't want would have pushed me over the edge. Once I graduated high school, I was focused only on work (until college started) and didn't have to struggle. I worked that job for only 2 months before moving to go to college, and once I did that I had my own apartment, worked part time (25-30hrs/wk), and went to community college full time. I had no problem transitioning into that and eventually I was working full time while going to school full time.

In high school I had a couple of friends who worked part time. One at Safeway as a bagger, and the other as a waitress at a small restaurant. The waitress friend juggled work and school very well but she only worked on weekends. The Safeway bagger friend worked weekday evenings most of the time and always weekends and she really struggled in school. I was jealous they had so much spending money but not enough to want a job! I remember the one who worked at Safeway was always tired and some of her shifts didn't end until pretty late at night. It got worse for her when she turned 18 while still in high school because she was "allowed" to work later and more hours.

I would never let my kid (I'm not a parent) work until even 8pm on a school night. No way...that is way too late in my book.

 

[Mkrop]

I worked in high school as did all my friends.

DS16 just got his first job a couple of weeks ago, he is a dishwasher at place that hold retreats. He is on the sub list, so no set schedule, and hopefully he will be able to decline times if they conflict with activities. So far it has been ok, he had training. Then he was asked to work and the one he had to decline bc he was away for school. He then accepted a last minute weekend assignment for dinner shift but had to decline breakfast and he accepted a weeknight one bc he had no tests the next day. I am hoping this place remains as flexible as it seems. And he is done by 8pm which I prefer, even tonight he was suppose to work until 8 and was done by 7:15.

I just want him to have some pocket money.

If it ever interferes with school work and the fun that high school should be (within reason) than the job will go bye bye.

 

[rszdtrvl]

Depends on the kid and the job.

My son is in high school, is a cheerleader, and is taking drivers ed on the weekends.

Not many jobs would work around all of that.

I want him to enjoy school and do extra-curricular activities rather than get a job.

I was pretty much forced to work all through high school (my, how times have changed with my parents) and to this day hold a grudge against my parents for it.

 

[Colleen27]

At all? Or just during the school year?

That depends on the teen. For my son, at all. He's a football player and in marching band so he has pretty extensive summer time commitments. The "break" part of summer for him is 2-3 weeks, just from the time the year ends until right after the 4th of July when workouts and practices start up for the coming fall. Which isn't to say he does nothing - he works for DH doing job site clean-up and general go-fer duties, and he and my DD take turns washing my FIL's boat (he's a fishing charter captain so it needs done after each day's charter). He also does some babysitting for us - we don't pay if he's watching DD5 for household/family matters, but if it is purely for pleasure (ie DH & I going out for date night) we do. But because those jobs are in the family there's never an issue with conflicts; if he needs to be at practice, DH will use one of his other occasional guys or DD will wash the boat for FIL. And he is very good at budgeting his spending money to last through the school year when he doesn't have much/anything coming in.

But as I said, my opinions are strictly for my own kids in this little town. It was completely different where I grew up, with fast food and retail on every corner and lots of options for a teen that wanted to work, many of which were very accommodating of extracurriculars and socialization. I worked summers only, first for a kennel/vet's office and then for a seasonal concert venue, when I was in school without any real conflicts. But around here, the usual teen jobs are quite inflexible and the more flexible positions tend to be informal arrangements with family or friends.

 

[Southernmiss]

My kids start working as soccer referees at age 12. Weekends only. Our high school students work summers. Oldest ds has been a lifeguard for last three years.

All are A students with Ap classes and extracurriculars.

I am all for students working and maintaining their grades. Lots of life skills are learned this way.

 

[PollyannaMom]

My parents always considered school our "job" as teens. We babysat some during the academic year - but as that was mostly weekends, it didn't interfere. Summer jobs were encouraged as we got older, but not pushed when we were young teens. Their attitude was "Enjoy it while you can."

DS has only recently turned 13, so we aren't really dealing with it quite yet. But he's pretty good about being aware of his own limits with extracurricular activities, and not scheduling too many in any one semester, so we'll strive to continue with a good balance as jobs come into the picture.

 

[aprescher]

My parents were pretty poor and I was the oldest of 3. I have worked full time since I was 16. I still took AP/honors classes and graduated from college. I had to work to help pay the household bills but also bought my own clothes, paid for lunch, and paid for my car, insurance, and gas. It was the hardest thing ever but you do what you have to do! I would do homework on breaks at work and sleep during lunch at school. I wouldn't wish it on anyone but it sure did make me appreciate things more!!

 

[lauradis]

Depends on the kid and the job.

My son is in high school, is a cheerleader, and is taking drivers ed on the weekends.

Not many jobs would work around all of that.

I want him to enjoy school and do extra-curricular activities rather than get a job.

I was pretty much forced to work all through high school (my, how times have changed with my parents) and to this day hold a grudge against my parents for it.

how did they force you. I have heard of some parents say no work no car.

 

[Granny square]

I don't think it is a should or should not. It depends on the student.

We've been through 3 older teens. (The last is only 14). Child one, no job was taking a full college load in high school, number 2 ran track as well as taking part time college courses. He would work about 20 hours a week in the local sub shop. Far more social than the first and needed more cash. The third works a lot of hours. He is a lifeguard and takes a college prep load and is only taking 2 college courses a semester. He is always busy studying, working, or enjoying his friends but is happiest when busy.

Working in a strong college, I tend to think that kids who have never worked for someone else are lacking a bit. You learn a different set of people skills and life skills. I can usually tell which kids haven't had this experience. Of course if mommy is still running their work lives the benefits are nil!

 

[Cindy B]

how did they force you. I have heard of some parents say no work no car.

Not the OP, but my parents "forced" me as well. I knew at 10 years old that I would have to leave the house at 18- end of story, no matter if I was working, at school or anything else. It was hand in my key at 18 and walk away. Yes, it did happen as well- not 18th birthday but about a month after.

My parents didn't go to college, so they were of a work full time, get your own place after graduation mindset.

So at the age of 10 I knew this. I began babysitting in earnest at 12 and kept on working.

I also knew that all extracurricular expenses for high school were to be paid by me: senior prom, senior trip, class ring, you name it I paid for it.

I also knew that if I wanted my own phone and phone line (this was the 80's no cell phone) was also paid by me.

There was a time after I turned 18 (bad apartment situation) I went back home. I was working full time and going to college full time. I paid rent to my parents for living there- at that time I got my key back.

 

[Granny square]

Dumb nosy question....why did you need your own phone? They wouldn't let you make calls?

 

[lauradis]

Dumb nosy question....why did you need your own phone? They wouldn't let you make calls?

Hey dumb nosy question are my style lol

Sounds like they didn't have a phone. Or she wanted her own line.

 

[HappyTogether]

I honestly hope that some of the kids of those who don't believe that their kids should work until out of school end up employed by my kid. I believe that education is learned not just from books or in classrooms but in real world situations.

I want my kid babysitting, reffing soccer games and doing unpaid internships to get that real world experience. My kid will pay for college, a car, gas, a phone and will only get that through hard work.

 

[Mkrop]

how did they force you. I have heard of some parents say no work no car.

Not who you asked but I was pretty much "forced" to work as well. I had to pay for anything fun myself for the most part, I was given an old clunker of a car (which was great of my parents since many of my friends did not have a car at all) but I had to pay for insurance, gas, upkeep. Dad would pay for these things, but he knew when I got paid and was always there asking me for money. No job, no fun things per my Dad

Dumb nosy question....why did you need your own phone? They wouldn't let you make calls?

Not who you quoted...same reason most kids want something....all the others had their own line. Plus I would talk for hours on the phone in the kitchen and you never wanted your parents to hear what you were talking about especially boys you liked or if you were GASP talking to a boy. I finally got one and that was a Christmas gift, but I think I was a Jr in high school and most of my friends got one in 8th grade.

 

[Granny square]

lol, thanks! I'm older, probably, but never knew anyone who had their own line as a teen.

 

[ronandannette]

I worked late some nights but I was a hostess and only worked maybe three nights a week.

At my school they had a school to work program. As long a you had enough credits in 12th grade you only had to go to school half the day than you left to go to work. That left your evenings free. It was pretty cool but I didn't do it. I had credits to make up in my 12th grade year cause I homeschooled in 11th.

That being said. I personally believe now that kids shouldn't work. I think you only get 18 years to be a kid and than have to work until you retire or die. Those are a short 18 years compared to the 40+ people work. That's just me personally. I hope I can make enough so DS doesn't have to worry about it until after college but I know that's not always a reality.

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While your point is well taken, there has to be some transition between childhood and adulthood. Maturity is a gradual, on-going process. Age (18+) is fairly arbitrary and most young people begin to desire greater autonomy while they are much younger than that. While some "mcjobs" are not necessarily valuable for building a future career, the life lessons that come with accepting responsibility (having to prioritize work over leisure, having a little bit of money to manage and the concept of effort = rewards) can have lasting impact during these years.

It really depends on the situation. I am a HS senior and consider school my job. My parents and I expect myself not to pass my classes but to ace them, and doing that takes up a lot of time that I could use to get a job.

From 7-2:30 I am in school, but the classes I have enrolled in (honors and AP courses) require outside work also. From the time I get home, I could be spending 2-3 hours doing homework and studying (more when I have lab reports to write up), and, by the time I am finished, I average out at almost 10 hours of school work done every day. Per week, it is 50+ hours, which is somewhat equivalent to a full-time job plus overtime.

Personally, I do not have a need for the money from a part-time job. I do not have a car and rarely go out with friends, and the basics are covered from my parents as long as I stay in school.

I greatly admire how you have described yourself and imagine you have a clear path towards a bright future . Our DS however, is very different. He has never been self-motivated academically and no amount of encouragement, facilitation or expectation on our part (which over the years morphed into a pattern of reward/punishment) has turned him into a scholar, an athlete, an artist or a musician. He is extremely social and his interests and strengths lie in having fun and building successful relationships.

While this is not at all what we envisioned for our child we have come to accept who he is and support positive growth in those areas. Having part-time jobs is one way of doing that and he's had some very interesting ones (teacher's assistant at a foreign-exchange student language school, cabin leader at summer camp and presently he works in the dining hall of a senior's home). We now require him to work as a means of doing "something" productive as it is clear that his high school results will be very undistinguished. At some point in his young adulthood we expect that an internal light-bulb somewhere will "go on" and he will find a path forward that will inevitably require academic upgrading, at which time we will negotiate our support for that. In the meantime, having a job is a very positive thing for him.

 

[Granny square]

While your point is well taken, there has to be some transition between childhood and adulthood. Maturity is a gradual, on-going process. Age (18+) is fairly arbitrary and most young people begin to desire greater autonomy while they are much younger than that. While some "mcjobs" are not necessarily valuable for building a future career, the life lessons that come with accepting responsibility (having to prioritize work over leisure, having a little bit of money to manage and the concept of effort = rewards) can have lasting impact during these years.

Well stated.